Do Virgos get possessive?

VirgoIf your Virgo drags you to a book-signing and you flirt with the author, what reaction will you elicit in your boyfriend?

Fellow Earth sign Taurus is possessive because he thinks he owns you. Scorpio acts this way because he doesn’t trust you. But Virgo? He’s more likely to feel self-critical. “What’s wrong with me? Maybe I’m not nerd-chic enough for her, so she makes eyes at the published author. And how come I haven’t gotten it together to write a book yet? Maybe I need to work on myself more.”

In general, mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) are so flexible that they neither cling to objects nor people. Gemini needs the variety, Sag loves their freedom, and Pisces loves the whole world! But Virgo’s a strange combination: an Earth sign that craves order, but ruled by Mercury. This mental planet lends Virgo an analytic perspective focused on pragmatic (Earth) matters.

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About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. SexyVirgoLover says:

    So, my guy hasn’t e-mailed me since June 1. I think he is concerned we will get way too intense like we used to. We really light it up! :) Anyways, I sent him an e-mail tonight and asked if we have new rules or something I don’t know about? I don’t remember rules from before? And could he let me know. I don’t play games, I’m a little more assertive than I used to be, and I know what I want.

    I point blank spelled it out, like “If you can’t handle my sexy self then let me know, so I can shove off.” Then I told him he knew where to find me, hot, ready, etc. ha ha ha I wish he would make up his mind. He wants me. He moves forward, he pulls back. He is supportive, asks for new pics in clothes and out. Moves forward, where is my new pic? Moves back. He confounds me. But, it is exciting, and he keeps me on my toes. Lucky Me!

  2. OnTheFenceee says:

    This is interesting because I’m a Sagittarius girl and I’m not independent at all when it comes to relationships. I tend to make that person my everything and forget about everything else going on in my life. I don’t know if I’m “possessive” but I think my biggest problem is that I want to know my lover inside and out. I go for guys who are deep thinkers, like myself. Unfortunately, the deeper the person, the deeper hurt if/when the relationship ends! Also, I don’t do one night stands and I’m really shy when it comes to sex. But I think this could be my Scorpio venus.

    I’ve been with a Virgo for 2 years (we’re both 19). I get so jealous. His job requires that he gets close to other girls. I just can’t look at him touching other girls… kills me. When I see him after work, I don’t feel like he belongs to me. I feel weird. I don’t like to admit this, but I WANT my boyfriend(Virgo) to be possessive. I want him to know what jealousy and pain that comes with it feels like.

  3. noturtypicalvirgo says:

    OnTheFenceee I feel you pain girl! I am scorpio venus too. I have to try really hard not to be too jealous or it totally consumes me. :P Tell me more about your scorpio venus..

  4. SexyVirgoLover says:

    H*ll yes Virgos are possessive! Don’t let them tell you otherwise. Keep communication open. I am always honest with him. When you bottle things and hide that is where problems start. I am 30 he is almost 28. Back with my Virgo Country Boy. He wants sex only with me and quality time with me, no one else. Wants to be monogomous friends with benefits. Does not want me dating other men and does not want to date other women. He is still celibate 6 months now just like me from when we were able to be together last. He keeps inviting me to come to him while he is at home in Tn, and while he is working in Montana currently. Wants to take care of me and my daughter. Never lets me spend my $$$ when I’m with him.

    I am so lucky he doesn’t want to be with another woman, and instead wants to wait until we can see each other in another month or 2. That would have totally killed me! He wants to stay committed but have the illusion of not being committed which keeps things a little naughty. and I have no problem with that. He is waiting for me to be finished with College totally.

    I am an Aqua girl. Never been jealous before. I know he can be with any woman he wants. He is sexy, smart, handsome, fun, thoughtful. Women drool when we are out. I get so green and steamed. But, I’m like he wants me not you. He is waiting on me, not trying to be with some hooch hoodrat or piece of hot tail. Talking is key. You need to find something to focus on besides him. You are so young. If you lose yourself in him you disappear. What drew you to each other in the first place, why are you still together? If you disappear, he can’t love you because the woman he fell in love with will no longer be there and he will go out to someone new. Sure he likes the attention right now, but it will get old so fast. Live and learn. That’s how you know. Good luck.

  5. Virgostarr says:

    I am a virgo woman and I met a virgo man at work. We both were interested, but being virgos we need to be needed so neither of us would chase the other or be the first to let our gaurd down. He acted aloof and often ignored me and I gave up on him. I recently started dating a sag man after not talking to virgo man for months. Now virgo man keeps showing up everywhere (mutual friends) glaring at us for hours. If He sees me without sag man he pouts and broods for my attention.

    We def. have a jealous side, but it is often hidden until the objective of our desire moves on.

  6. Cancerlady says:

    I’m married to a Virgo man whom I’ve known for about 14 years. I first met him when he was 16 years old (I’m 2 yrs older) and he was shy and didn’t tell me he was interested. I was later told by mutual friends. I didn’t even know he noticed me, although I did see him, he wasn’t my type at the time (I loved thugs). He was cute though. Anyway we talked on and off for about a year, but nothing came out of it….fast forward 10 yrs, we start back dating, get hot and heavy fast…I got pregant within 3 months of us being together and we were engaged within 9 months and married a year and 2 months after getting back together. He made me fall for him hard, and yes he changed….we both did…I don’t know if it was the marriage and kids or what…but he definitely is more confident (not as possessive) and less lovey dovey, which being a Cancer we love. He is more into raising the children right and keeping the house up and things like that. Which I can’t complain…I just wish he was more into me like he was when we first got back together 4 yrs ago. I would say he’s a nagger and complainer, but loves to clean and spend time with me and the kids…he is definitely a homebody like me…so unless he is at work 99% of the time we are all together..one big happy family. Our 3 yr wedding anniversary is coming up…guess I’ll have to drop some hints that I’m looking for some romance……..

  7. VirgoLovesTaurus says:

    Cancerlady

    awwww im a virgo n we love romance but sometimes needs alot of space…maybe his job n the kids have gotten a bit overwelming for him…try doing something nice for him like an alone candle lit dinner without the kids if u can n im sure he’ll be most happy…wish i had a cancer…them boys can be loving n good in bed..dated one but hes not financially stable n being a virgo i like an independant men thats well put together n that cancer wanted me to pamper him instead of him pampering me…i guess he thought i was the man n he was the woman…sigh!!!

    Goodluck darling..

  8. VirgoLovesTaurus says:

    Virgostarr

    ur post was hilarious…yes virgos are not meant to be chasers but loves to be chased n adored….hes def a true virgo…he must have been waiting for u too contact him…..my bestie is a virgo male who has the greatest dating life but only goes out with the girls that chases him….im the same way…i would rather be frustrated waiting for someone than go out there n chase him…i would like someone so bad but cant just walk up to him just like that n say hi…id prefer die…there would have to be tons of eye contact n smiles before i get the courage to talk but i sure do kno how to blush like crazy hahahah…

    About jealousy i am quite jealous…i would hate if the object of my desire was warming up to another female…i wont do anything about it but it would turn me off n the other girl would silently be on my black list to wipe out hahaha….i would get all cold n dismissive with my guy n he wont have a clue why…crazy i kno but i have evolved n learned to communicate so i would try to communicate his behaviour to him abt the other person n if it continues then i would silently become turned off n leave it…..i need to feel like im the only girl in the world….

    VLT

  9. “And if he starts picking you apart, it’s just him projecting his self-criticism onto you. Sure, he’s angry … but he won’t admit it. When he says, “Gosh, you made a fool of yourself talking to someone way out of your league”

    HA HA, this is soooooo true!

  10. Candice,

    oh yeahhh… when I just read exact the same line…. I also thought, damn.. its so true.
    Exactly that happened to me yesterday… (and few times before).

    Though am still struggling how to deal with it then…. still learning :)

  11. I was dating , well screwing a virgo girl for a while . Well I changed on wanting to screw because I think I got this other girl pregnant .
    I told her I was ready to call it. But she will not leave me alone she calls me , she txts me, she’ll call my work , leave note on my car WTH!

    Yes she’s freaking out on me all the time. How can I get her to stop finally I didn’t knows she liked jr so much lol I need advice on how to shake her for good !

  12. @angry

    explain everything to her in detail…most of the time virgos just want to know why so that they can fix whatever is wrong and avoid it next time.

  13. @ angry
    hahahaha sure ur not talkin bout me ?! j/k I agree w/h cinderella we Virgo’s get absolutely obsessed w/h these questions
    1) what did I do wrong
    2) how can I change to make this better
    3) why can’t we j/t be friends
    4) I have to improve this part of myself ,so this will never happen’ again
    5) this is a shock
    & on & on & on we are VERY inquizitive creatures , we want everything wrote down in our memory bank b/c here is a Promise this will never happen again ( NEVER make the SAME mistake twice )….if she is up ur butt u must’ve been damn near PERFECT LMAO …
    That being said DON”T GET THE BIG HEAD!!!! lol

    I can say that I am VERY obsessed w/h a Taurus man, he may end up putting stalker charges on me LOL j/k ( well ???) I j/t called him this morning lmao GOD I LUV THT MAN !!! SEE we do get VERY obsessed w/h the 1 man we feel is damn near Perfect b/c trust me if u don’t have what I need ( emotionally,physically,mentally & stimulate ALL my mental senses ) then lets NOT & say we DID !!!

    Be very understanding , get angry & she’ll work harder! Just be honest BRUTALLY honest don’t be crass etc.If you are look out she’ll burn the life outta you ! j/t a Little FYI ;)

    Good luck ! J/t remember be respectful

  14. @ Virgos here

    are u virgos get insecure when u love someone… and then it turns into possessiveness??

    Cz my virgo turned into that after we became a couple. He is actually the man I want to spend my life with.. and for him its the same. At the moment he is abroad for work… so we just have phone, internet. We do chat daily, call often… and used to IM daily too. At the moment he cant use internet on phone which is really frustrating as we cant chat much cz of time difference.
    Ok, thats just some background info.

    But he blames me actually that we cant chat much… if he can be online… I also must have time to chat!!
    I am always online… but at work I cant chat always of course.. cz of meetings or something. When his mood is ok, its not a big issue… but whenever he misses me too much or gets frustrated cz we are so far… he gets moody.. and blames me. Then he complains all the time, that I am just online when I want, …

    I am also frustrated… but would never blame him! Its just the situation now.. and I try to spend as much time with him as possible… and definitely not spoil this little time. But he does :(

    Anything what we can do with virgos in such moment??
    It happens like once a week… just out of a sudden. And it hurts me a lot.

  15. @ shay

    no it’s not insecure it’s the fact tht ” if you luv us then come hell or high water u’ll be their !
    B/c us virgo’s GIVE so much more than we get ! tht is our problems & then we get the questions in our heads …it is a Virgo’s trait speaking for myself , cousin, uncle , & aunt … We start thinking tht it is us who luv & give then when we don’t get the response we would like ( ur giving urself as much ) we get BITCHY !!!! LOL oh us virgo’s have to learn to quit being so self sacrificing , giving, loving …etc.. it sounds like the long distance is to much for him @ times lol j/t be understanding & talk talk talk to him how YOU are feeling NOT about him but YOU !!!! It is in us virgo’s to really try & fix , work , help any relationship problem & esp if WE get the TRUTH no (P) footing around , he WILL take notes & try hearder ! good luck

  16. @ Virgo

    thanks for ur answer! Yeah… exactly that`s what he was saying too. That I do have another understanding of love.. I won`t show it… just he is giving so much all the time,… its only him compromizing, etc.
    Wow… couldnt believe it, when I read your words.

    I am giving soo much too…. as much as him, I am sure… but when he is in his mood, he doesn`t see that at all. Just telling me then, that now as I have made him falling in love with me, I take him easy…
    He is just talking about himself, he is the poor guy,..
    I tell him every day about my feelings… but he is always saying that its not true…
    And yeah.. he is really behaving like he is suffering alone all the time…
    I love to be his… but he should admit his own mistakes sometimes… and not only blasting or blaming me. Thats quite unfair.

    But I will try and keep on talking :)

  17. @ Shay
    lol we virgo’s are a PAIN in the BUTT lmao!!!!! You REALLY need to keep the lines of communication open TELL him what YOU told me ! It will take a while to sink in b/c we break down EVERYTHING with a fine tooth comb :) my cuz & I hung out half the day & we were both bitchin about not getting any lmao he’s woman aint coughin it up & I am goin to divorce my hubby lol & also
    WE know our flaws , faults, problems MORE than ANY other sign b/c WE are TOO hard on ourselves… But PLEASE try to be as HONEST OPEN as YOU can it doesn’t matter how much you talk if you can Talk the Talk then PLEASE Walk the Walk VIRGO”S MOTO sry only my experience as a virgo & family memebers ..hope it helped a little bit BUT be TRUE 2 URSELF FIRST BEFORE ANY MAN LOVE OR NOT K !!!!!!!!! B/c IF he LOVES YOU he will LISTEN TO YOU j/t don’t PUSH him too far b/c he could split & not look back again my own PERSONAL exeperiences !

  18. @ Virgo

    Thank u! I really appreciate that u tell me so frank about it all. Indeed it helps me a lot.
    Will do tell him exactly how I feel… actually what I have told u.
    And yeah… if he loves me, he will or should listen to me and should care about my feelings. As otherwise it doesn`t make sense anyways.

    I heard already that if a virgo splits, they will never come back…. so will not let that happen for sure!
    Thank u!

  19. Your Welcome BUT remember YOU ARE NOT A DOOR MATT EITHER !! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF TOO !!!!! FIRST & FOREMOST but I bet after a little bitchin’ he’ll say I want her luv her & I WILL try harder too !!! but it ALL takes time !

  20. Hi Virgo,

    how have you been? I hope you had a great Christmas!

    Mine was good, except for the fact that I had to go to hospital cz of allergy shock, but its all fine now.
    But yeah.. that probably created a huge prob for my virgo. I could send him a message and we later talked when I was ok… he was damn scared and worried (which is quite normal when u love this person).

    But already in night and also today… he accused me of flirting with guys on facebook and send smileys… sigh. We do play some social games there and ppl just “like” things or say “thank you”… which should be ok and normal. He suddenly told me I flirt with other guys.. and send messages also to them… and I would delete messages.. hiding something… that I tell lies.

    Dont know why he talks such sh**… its all not true… am just friendly and just wrote 2,3 messages to friends. But he just kept on telling that I would only play with him. And well.. he is 39 and quite an intelligent person… but acting like a jealous kid sometimes.
    I felt really hurt that he accused me of that… and I had to justify… which made it worse maybe, but didnt know what to do.

    So from your experience… did u every do such things.. and why?? How to deal with it??

    do you have any idea what

  21. this has been insightful im dating a virgo man long distance and we are about to move in together and he is always worried im gona leave him. now i understand its not that he doesnt trust me its a self confidence thing. now i have an idea on how to work on that issue before and when i get there. :) lol funny he is more freaked out about me leaving for a woman than a man. he said men jzt dont cut it anymore cuz now even a woman can steal your women. lol….sounds like the self image thing agian

  22. So Virgo women need to be needed? There’s a cute Virgo girl in my office (I know, office romance, don’t get me started) that I’m talking to. She has a boyfriend but it’s super long distance and she keeps hinting that he’s on his way out, due to the way he treats her. I’m an Aquarius, and from what I’ve read it’s really hit or miss with Aquarius-Virgo. Male Aquarius and Female Virgo seems to work out more often than the other way around, since we’re both intellectuals and Virgo likes to be the one that’s chased.

    Thoughts?

  23. AquaTrainer says:

    Damien,

    Don’t shit where you eat. You know better!

  24. @ Virgo and Shay,

    Interesting to read your comments… I think I am having trouble with my virgo guy now.

    Ok, here is the story – we are coworker, but not living in same state.
    One day I was in his area for office meeting, and stayed there a couple of days. In the first 2 days my virgo guy was very attentive, charming, caring, etc, etc. But then on day 3 onwards suddenly he started ignoring me. He sit beside me during meeting but not talking to me at all, giving me that “stone-cold” face. Even did not say goodbye when I returned back to my state. So rude, and yet I did not know WHY because he did not say anything…

    Was he jealous or upset because of other colleagues I met? One of them is a photographer and he was enjoying himself taking my pictures… or maybe something had ruined his mood and he was throwing everything on me :-(

    We could have had some quality time together if he was not so cold and moody…
    Any idea or advise?

  25. This virgo man im dating atm does not sound like this at all!
    He is pursuing me to the max!!!! wants to see me all the time, travels to my work just to see me for an hour then goes. He even wants to fund a trip for us to travel to another state (ive known him 3 weeks!!)
    I have actually been the one to say he needs to change his fashion sense etc etc and he has no said one word to me about anything i need to change :S not critical at all. Maybe over time he will… maybe.

  26. @virgo shay:
    I dnt know why we ignore people!.
    but we do, Nothing PERSONAL!.
    sometimes we just go into our minds!.

  27. Hi everybody: I am a capricorn women and my virgo friend I have known for 2yrs is weird. Hence, truth be told we know eachother very well without even speaking. Although, we are just friends we have admitted to one another our attractions. Virgoes as I know him will never let me see himself sweat. And if he is jealous he covers it so well but just like anything else my Virgo friend has the weirdest way of detaching himself (and trust me as a cap I thought we were the heirs of detachment)that is so difficult for me to read. 1e often speak on the phone for hours on a daily basis or at least every other and sometime till 1a.m. In the morning and we both have to be to work in the morning. And on weekends Saturdaays and 4undays sometimes we would get off the phone at 4a.m. Lately I’ve noticed for the past month on the weekends he hasn’t been calling me at all on Sat or 4un and when I asked him what is the problem he jist says that he wants to spend time and relax and I know this is bullshit. There is soo much more to this story and I will continue to add more details as I contine to post as this friendship is so confusimg to me and at times I wwamt out.

  28. I had a Virgo boyfriend once and boy was he possessive. Not only that he was jealous type as well. We would always fight about something over nothing. He would always scold me from looking at other guys and talking to stranger dudes as well. I broke it off. I couldn’t stand him.

  29. yes they are possessive earth they get possessive not jealous like water signs but dominating Virgos are possessive they are like am not going to commit and be 100 percent dedicated till I know that you will sacrifice your whole human existence your spirit and integrity..of course Virgos ruled my Intellectual mercury(smarty pants of the zodiac) is going to have some strong opinions about this but who cares…naggers of the zodiac will criticize as they are very popular for this I forgot to mention that yet they are 100% unaware of their own shortcomings then have just the audacity to criticize anyone 100% NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR ..you better check yourself and I mean your attitude not your health you health obsessed,O.C.D,non virgin their is nothing pure about you just shallowness.you are not fooling me with your servant complex let me try to prove that am not evil and seem helpful…soulless and phony ..poor Pisces ARE the only ones who have the compassion and soul to love these people..poor Pisces always sacrificing look who they get stuck with as their polar opposites ..I also do not want to hear that crap about Virgos being misunderstood”their insecure they just want to help ..they are perfectionist organize people” well if you ask me they have perfected being anal and I won’t be shocked if they organized their public hairs sounds compulsive to me..CRAZY!..Virgos have some nerve!…

    P.S…I do not care if you do not like my post am entitle to my dislikes and opinions is a free country!
    a.k.a EAT ME!

  30. Warn your Virgo partner that there are certain boundaries must be set to avoid his over possessiveness. It’s nice once in while that he would include you to the things that he has interest on, like book readings, parties, bowling, etc. But to the extent that he would drag you along against your will is a violation of your own rights. If that happens, kick him where it hurts the most.

  31. I apologize for my previous post my anger with Virgo I have dealt with in the past really hurt me I should not judge all Virgos and I apologize to the Virgos…..honestly,I have Virgo rising so I attract and am attracted to Virgos….so I have dealt with some…I admire Virgos but I should not judge them based on their sun sign just because I had some not so great experience with them in the past..I apologize again for my ignorance.

  32. I do believe Virgos can be possessive but in a subtle way. You wouldn’t even realize they are trying to be possessive. That’s what is so freaking cool about being a Virgo! lol As a Virgo, I don’t mean to be possessive but it’s because I don’t want to share my lover with anyone! I am the type of Virgo that will analyze the SH*T out of my partner. Once I have the necessary information I need. I know what to use in order to grab a hold of this person in my life. Many ppl have told me I draw ppl to myself without even knowing it which I think is pretty darn awesome!

  33. Cancerian says:

    Hi,

    I fell in love wd a Virgo at the wrong time. I am married and working. I met this guy in my office and we soon became frnds and then with out knowing we fell for each other. More often we tried to draw the lines but failed each time. The affair went for 5 years and we loved and cared each other so much. He is very sweet person, very possessive, simultaneously he used to warn me saying that I will be loosing him since he has to get married. We both knew we had to separate one day but still loved each other like hell. And his day came after 5 years. He will be getting married this week. I have lost all my happy days, food n sleep. We both were very much addicted to each other. I believe he must have also felt tuff to some out but he is kind of a person who controls all his emotions and follows a strict pattern of rules for himself. After his engagement he does’nt call me, no messages. He asked me to minimize my calls. He picks whn ever I call. We now talk casually and hardly remains for 2 mins. this was the first love for him. Will he ever remember me in future?

  34. LeoLovesVirgo says:

    @Cancerian

    It is better for you to give him his freedom now. I believe he is being subtle to you, a Virgo who used to be in love with someone will still made contact with his past ex, yet he will draw a line in his soft ways until he feels that you’re not listening, he will withdraw himself completely. He will always remember you in the future, because they remember even the tiniest details and mistakes that happens in their life, it’s a life lesson for them to improve when finally they meet the love of their life.

    I am so in love with a Virgo man who is so soft and subtle, so shy and introvert. Being a Leo woman, I am the opposite of him in some ways, I find it so interesting and it makes me learn something valuable about my life and past relationship when I’m with him. He tells me he learned a lot of things when he’s with me, and we are like magnet; positive and negative that attracts each other. I asked him about his past relationship and the items he kept that are given by his ex, and not a single time I feel threatened about it because when he builds a relationship with me, he told me it’s for as long as he can, and he hope I will not ever get tired of him as he will never do anything to hurt my feelings. I love his honesty, he’s beautiful and so mesmerizing. It helps a Leo like me to stop being insecure and love myself despite in horoscope compatibility, Leo and Virgo has some clashes. I find it, a match made of heaven.

    When I read @Cancerian story, I know that by heart, he will remember you and be there for you when he could, but he will be truthful and loyal to his current fiancee / wife as that is what they will value in a relationship. It’s best to draw the line as friends. If it’s hard for you, and I know it’s easier to say than done, with a good heart of yours, wish him the best in his new life and you need to move on. I would like to advise, for you to remain loyal to your current husband and find ways to make the relationship with your husband interesting and something you will cherish for a lifetime, if he is still the good man that made you feel in love with him for the first time.

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