Why does a Capricorn fall out of love?

People fall in love, they fall out of love. The clouds of fantasy eventually fade away, leaving nothing but the reality of your lover’s best and worst traits. If you don’t like the “what is” of your partner, were you ever in love in the first place, or were you just in love with the image you created?

A Capricorn man seems the least likely of any other Sun sign member to delude himself. After all, he is ruled by Saturn, the reality principle. If Cap doesn’t fall in love until he’s made a measured assessment of his partner-to-be, then he’s unlikely to have acted impulsively on the basis of unconscious projections.

So, if not disillusionment, what is the source of Capricorn’s heart-retreat? This man may not be as cold and calculating as he is reputed to be, but he nonetheless has his own pragmatic way of making life decisions. We often fall out of love when either we or our lover have changed (or not). A Capricorn man prefers slow and steady growth, so he may be turned off by a partner’s radical deviation from what he’s come to rely upon. Could it be that the withdrawal of his partner’s support — so that he or she can climb their own mountaintop — results in the passing of a cold wind through Cap’s chest?

To a Capricorn, is love more than feeling that your one-and-only helps you rise to partner in the firm?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. he’s not really famous though although he tries to be. but I think I’ve betrayed his trust too many times and he really trusted me but I don’t think before I do things. I really wish it could have worked out but it’s too late now and I feel like I’ve lost him forever but it’s my fault and I feel horrible for it. I had a nightmare about it before and I guess nightmares come true sometimes. :\ he said he’s dreamt about me before and I think he still thinks about me a lot. :\

  2. I think I’ve betrayed his trust too many times and he really trusted me. I feel like I’ve lost him forever but it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have done all those things to him. but I don’t think before I do things sometimes. he’s friends with lots of famous people and he’s really likeable I guess. I really loved him and I had a nightmare about this a while ago and I guess nightmares do come true sometimes. he said he’s dreamt of me. I dunno I feel really bad for treating him like shit now but I can’t do anything about it. he’ll never forgive me I don’t think. he thinks of me differently now but I don’t know what I can do anymore.

  3. I dunno he’s coming to play in my city for a famous band and before he said he wanted me to meet me beforehand but he doesn’t want to anymore but it’s still my fault for getting jealous that he had a girlfriend and thinking that we couldn’t anymore anyways. I think I’ll still go see him cause I’ve always wanted to but we probably won’t ever be able to meet up after this. he probably hates me now and I don’t blame him. I just wish he followed through on his plans cause he told me that the first time he talked me and I guess he still thinks I’m hot but I didn’t want him only for sex. :\ the famous band he’s playing with is best friends with him and I really love them too. they’re one of my favorite bands (they’re electronic) and he said he’d introduce me to them but it’s just heartbreaking now. none of this can happen anymore. :\ I feel really bad for it. :\

  4. he really did try to listen to me and I was trying to help him and I think he meant well but he couldn’t wait forever probably and I probably did piss him off first but I was teasing him and I guess he just didn’t like it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think it would be good to meet him before the concert anymore because it won’t be a good way to meet him for the first time. the venue is not that small. I don’t know what to do anymore. :\ he was trying to be nice to me and I feel like I’ve ruined his life now and I feel really bad for it. he’s such an amazing person. he really is. :\

  5. Ladies,

    can we chalk this up to Cap’s are picky and stubborn as hell and they are going to be blowing through girls until their “one that got away” comes back to them or dies? Seriously, they are big hearted (but belongs to THIS girl who left me) pussies!

  6. Hi, Im a Virgo and he’s a Cap!
    We first starting seeing each other nearly a year ago. He was the sweetest ever.! We spent nearly everyday together, he practically lived with me, so he moved in after few months.
    Things were great, but he wanted to start a business. I really believed in him and we talked about marriage, so it seemed like we were gonna be together forever.
    I decided to lend him money to start up. While he was starting out I paid for everything and he was really greatful.
    Now his business is going really well and hes really happy, but not with me.
    I said you never take me out, your really cold all of a sudden, and i dont feel like a proper couple and he didnt say anything.
    I suggested he move out.
    He has now moved out and says he’s still with me, but wants space. He says he doesn’t know what he wants. Said I nagged him to much, which I did.
    Now he has moved out and im so heartbroken as I feel all that I have done for him and now he doesnt know what he wants.
    I think him saying he needs space is him trying in a nice way to break up with me.
    I have a lot of his business stuff on my laptop as he doesnt have one so he wants to come over for that but still want his space?!
    Am I being used?
    I still love him and am heartbroken!

  7. Lately I have found that a lot of Cap men are attracted to me. However, something always goes wrong for instance I dated one guy his b-day was Jan. 17. I kept getting this weird vibe from him that there was something about I couldn’t trust or maybe I just thought deep down inside he was a pervert. So, I quickly ended this little hook up. Lol. However, I have notice that what really bothers me about Caps Men are their natural controlling nature and seriousness. Btw my b-day is Sept. 1, Virgo, Aquarius moon, Libra Rising, Mercury in Libra, Mars in Leo, Venus in Scorpio. Chinese Year of the Dog.

    Ok the next Cap I met b-day was Jan. 13 he seemed to have everything going ok for him. He only had 2 years left in med school and I could totally see myself as a doctor’s wife. So here’s when everything went sour. After we went on a casual date he calls me the next day with some drama he got himself into and wanted me to help him get out of it. I instantly seen this as a red flag and told him I couldn’t help him, sorry. He blew up at me and acted totally immature. I didn’t curse him out like he wanted me 2 I just hung up on him and delete his # out of my phone and didn’t think twice about it.

    Now, I am with another Cap b-day Jan. 15. I see him as a hottie a bit cocky but I like the look on him! Pss. He has a Sag moon. Plus he said he once tried to date me before when we was younger and I totally dismissed him without knowing 6years back. He told me are u the girl that had the Red Car that lived by the park? I said yes, he said I never forgot about you and was always wondering what happen to that girl. Sounds cool, right. But now I’m not sure if I want to continue to date him. Sometimes when we are together and I throw out jokes at him he gets all serious and ask me why are you laughing? That isn’t funny. I just wish he could loosing up sometimes not be such a tight a88. Lol.

    I know he totally likes me but he’s starting to show his controlling side. Like when he asks me things like what are u wearing? You know u can only wears those things for me and I bet not caught outside like that. Also stating I don’t want u going out to clubs with your girlfriends u don’t need to be in that environment with all those horny dudes around looking for chicks. I told him I only go out with my friends every once in a while and he can trust me. I also have a trip scheduled with me and the girls to go to Vegas. So, he asks me “Are you sure it’s just u and your girlfriends going? Do you girls have guys there waiting for yall to come and hookup?” I told him no. So, he says “well I going to call you on your trip and I don’t care if you’re on the toilet I want u to answer the phone”. Lol. So my question is should I give this one a try? Is this just his way of showing concern for me and claiming his territory from other men?

  8. Sounds like he got cheated on before. But it’s still controlling.

  9. @ no-perspiration Thanks

  10. Hi All,

    I’m a Cap lady and it’s quite funny reading these posts!

    I cannot speak for Cap men, for obvious reasons, but I can possibly give some feedback about Caps in General?!!

    We find TRUST, Loyalty, honesty and respect to be of highest value with friends, family and partners. We tend to be sensitive people who get hurt quite easily, so we usually have a “cold” exterior as a way of protecting ourselves – a bit like damage-limitation. We are scared of getting hurt ‘cos when it does happen we feel it with great intensity and the pain NEVER goes away and neither does that painful memory!

    Caps remember every person that has hurt them to the day they die and they will always hold back a piece of themselves a a result. Melodramatic, I know, but it’s the way we are wired. Do not cheat on a Cap, do not lie to them and do not betray their trust or friendship. They will never forgive you if you do.

    When we “let you in” we are 100% genuine and it is ‘cos we trust you and regard you as being close to us.

    @ Sweetvirgo – Caps are possessive and jealous. NOT for being mean or a horrible person, but because that person means so much to them, it would be heartbreaking and unbearable for them to lose that person to somebody else.

    Caps are deeply romantic and finding a life-partner is their greatest desire. We take this seriously and do not play games with matters of the heart.

    I hope this helps?


  11. Excuses! That’s in everyone and it’s not a good way to be. Learn to forgive and jealousy and possessiveness is a huge turn off to a lot of people. I’m never gonna let a man tell me what I can and cannot wear….again! “oh I trust you but not them”…it’s an insult either way…haha I’m letting my non-traditionalism shine though

  12. @no-perspiration,

    I explained this to you a while back… you’re too fast for them, girl… they’re the old guy behind the wheel of Carrera GT… they drive the car for status and not to open up the throttle…

    your fascination with him is that he is you in a slow motion film doing mime…

    if’s one of the smart ones, it’ll dawn on him in a year…

  13. LOL @ Chip..yeah have to agree.

    @sweetvirgo…not all Caps are like that at all! He has something in his astro chart and/or something from his past that is making him do that.

    I agree NP. i am not entirely like what kitty said.

  14. @Chip,

    he is a smart guy… *sigh* oh well. I hope I’m available when and if he snaps out of this and quits chasing his impossible dream.

  15. casual robber says:

    I’m a December 28th Capricorn man and nothing could be further from true.

    A Capricorn man (hell, any man) who is controlling and possessive has issues that stretch beyond being an earth sign.

    As a capricorn man I value my private time (not being cold, but who wants to smother someone with their presence?) 

    Don’t believe what you hear on blogs and astrology sites, our sense of humor is our strongest weapon (gets me out of all kinds of tight spots).

    Seriousness is lame (there’s a time to be serious and a time for play) true capricorns know the difference between the two.

    Music plays a pivotal roll in our lives (it moves us).

    When we love, we love hard so it goes without saying if you betray our trust the ship sinks faster than the titanic.

    We’re cautious by nature (not cold and calculating) <— I don't think I've calculated anything in my life ( I hate math) <—told you we were funny (dry humor).

    We don't like boring as much as the next guy so our laid back appearance is a smoke screen, we like adventure too, we just need the right woman to bering it out in us.

    With that being said we are very picky (you have to be a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed) <–sex is incredibly important. It's one of the reasons why cap men loose interest (if we can't get it how we want it we'll move on).

    Loyalty and your word are all that means anything to us. Don't talk about it, be about it.

    Family is priority number one and success above all else is what keeps us moving.

    Money and social status mean nothing without people you truly love to share it with (at least that's my thinking)

    If you cheat on a Capricorn man he will never trust you again. He will become jealous and question everything you do, so it's best to call it quits.

    Capricorns can be assholes (we're stubborn and always want our way, but we'll respect you if you stand your ground and don't give in) <— never show emotional weakness in front of a cap (we'll run right over you).

    Contrary to popular belief we hate to argue, which is why a cap man has a short fuse (we don't know how to handle certain emotions and naturally react by getting angry and blowing up).

    A cap man who is truly in love will give his woman everything she wants and needs.

    Oh and if you don't get us it's okay (our mothers do) we just want you to love us back. The good (faithful to a fault), the bad (emotionless exterior), and the ugly (our slow moving nature) just keeps us in a comfort zone, gives us the ability to anticipate disappointment, and keeps us from making a fool of ourselves.

    To the outside world we may seem like the masters of the universe, but when it comes down to it, are just trying to figure it all out like the rest of the zodiac.

    By the way, I've dated Gemini (too unstable and unsure of themselves for my taste), Virgo (awesome love), Cancer (the one who got away), Scorpio (amazing in every way), Aquarius (love that just went south too early) and I have to say compatibility lied with the person. It doesn't what their sign (except for Gemini; a terrible mix for Caps) if the persons great and you're vibbing, just make it work. 

    No relationship will be roses, but if two people truly love each other, they'll learn to love past each others faults.

  16. @casual robber

    Thanks for your insights from your perspectives as a Capricorn man!

  17. Hi I’m a Leo female who is seeing a Capricorn male. We have been “trying” for a year. When we met things were super cool but currently I can say I have never been more depressed, paranoid or borderline suicidal like this in my life. Are capricorn men only here to pay us back for some cosmic mistakes we may have made years before? All the signs are there in my mind that he’s keeping his options open but he fool has a logical explanation for everything. I mean “everything”. Asked him why he had lipstick on his shirt when he came back to my house after leaving a friends grandchild a birthday party. He claims she leaned in to hug him. I kept my mouth shut cause I actually lost it this weekend. He is provoking me to snap on him and for a Leo that is he worst. I’ve dated 5 Capricorn men my whole life and admitting their own faults or that they are wrong wont happen with these guys. I’ve been made out to be the bad person. He works 3 hours away and comes back on weekends. Usually we see each other on Fridays when he comes back and yes this is at night usually. He’s not affectionate, although he was during the nice incubation “I have to conquer this girl stage”. But currently? Nope. On Saturday he says he needs to take care of things so from with 8 am Saturday-6 pm he’s running errands and I don’t get to come along. I will hear from him later but no plans are ever made. Even my 40th birthday is coming up and he hasn’t made plans with me. My mother got me tickets to see Kem for my birthday cause she knew he would say his favorite phrase “we’ll see”, and he did. I need to trust my intuition. He goes to clubs with friends and dances with other women all the while telling me I should stop stressing just be patient and that he sees a future with me. It’s all bulk but it’s hard to end something with someone who makes themselves out to be a Saint! I wish he would slip and I could catch him. He is a great pretender but what do you do when your up against a
    “genius of deception”? I’ve missed out on so much this year while he paints a perfect picture full of you know what. I’m sad, depresses and without hope. At 39 I really thought I had the strength to end this. I’ve ended things before. He’s 48 and still has to be out there but only makes courteous appearances with me. I wish one day I could meet someone nice I wish that for all of you. All I can say is trust your gut. Don’t allow fear of the pain of loss keep you stuck in an unhealthy situation like I have because it not only prolongs the inevitable but it also prevents you from meeting that one that’s perfect for you. Ladies continue to be each others support on here. I appreciate any kind words and peace to you all.

  18. capricorn man and woman we went in day 1 knowing we wanted to settle downn i the female truck driver student wanyt to save vfor a house n he is a supervisor. we both are handling business. im very pickuy n he dont like women who club both our fav color n food matches hes quiete and i am more open he we both were afraid of getting hurt at first . he says stuff like ima treat u like my queen i wont hurt u baby n im more like baby i dont trust u yet u have to show me . freshhh relat

  19. oh and im way freakier than him i mentioned sex first say his exs didnt like it much im dominant at times and submissive i mix it up t

  20. i want it forver im 25 n he 36 n finally ready for marriage

  21. im falling inlove w him now that my doubts are gone . my king my baby n im his queen

  22. So crazy but @Tina your situamsound just like mine. Bet it’s Tony ? Lol. It’s complicated in general and I can completely relate to the boaderline suicide. Dealing with him has made me react and behave completely out of character

  23. I’m a Capricorn female born on January 7. When it comes to love a Capricorn is very patient and observance of their partners actions. From my experience I’ve been hurt. My partner told me I put myself out there too much. Thus this was doing my younger years. I have found now, That I am more analytical and cautious of whom I allow in my life.

    In my case, I do not tell my partner everything about me. I have to know where he stands, and then I can go forth from there. Capricorns are generally business minded individuals. The speaking for myself the field of study that I’m currently and I would like my partner it’s been also, so therefore, we can build an empire together. Family is very important to us especially those who had a rough childhood. Children bring us joy or should I say myself joy.

    Never lied to a Capricorn, never cheat on a Capricorn, never disrespect the Capricorn, never betray a Capricorn, never scandalize a Capricorn’s name, and never be too observant of a Capricorn’s actions. Capricorns can be a bit cunning, if we weren’t realize a week individual we will definitely walk all over you.

    Since Capricorns of my business so much if you do any business with them make sure to have everything in writing. A valid contract will let the Capricorn know that you are serious about business.

    The following statements andare of my view particularly and have not been manipulated in anyway.

  24. Tina I had read your comment and I have to say that…wow is like you are living my relationship…or me yours…I am or I have been with a capricorn man for 5 years…and it turns that now…or the winter holidays…he took a decision to go to the parties and to the mountains alone…just with his friends because he needs his time to relax because I am too possessive and too stressful …mmm…so i have spent the christmas and new year alone :) in 5 years..he was spending time with me whenever he wonted…not when i wanted too…if i was asking him to do something he was saying to do my activities and not to hang anymore on his neck…he have been all over Europe in holidays alone and i dint told him anything…go dancing to …and he enjoys dancing with other women…telling them that he wish to have dance that song with them…and other things that he never told me or felt for me…ooo but he made a step forward..and than backward…he moves in and out when ever he wants…and i have to be fine…and dnt think that if he lives with me he will spend time with me too…no way…and when we go out…hald of the girls in the club are in his neck and i have to be fine coz they are just friends…and dont think that he stays with me too…because he has to make rounds in the club so to see what new girls came in…and he is calling me paranoid, crazy, close mind and so on
    All this made me so tired and i neven know who I am and what I want anymore…and the weird thing is that i still want him and miss him…but im trying not todo it.
    Oh i almost forgot…ha appeared out of the blue two days ago…ans when I asked him where he have dissapeard this days (because he doesnt answer to the phone either…) he said that it’s not my business but he didn’t f**t because he didnt wanted to feel guilty…seriously now?
    I am not going out alone or with the girls…he said that i can go but each time I went even just for a walk I had to give explanations and god…he really knows how to go where he wont’s…the way that he put’s the questions are amazing…and yes…he has answers for everything…and he lies allooottttt…

    Hope that everything went fine for you Tina and all the rest of the girls that had past through a hard time with a capricorn.

  25. Hi im a leo living with a cap……im seriously on the verge of burying him in my back yard lol……we were best friends for 10 years prior to our relationahip and we got along great but hes stubborn hard headed and can never admit when hes wrong…..when hes sweet hes sweet but when hes an asshole omg hes the biggest ahole there is. ….he lets me go out and do my thing but he always acuses me of bullshit……i am so depressed and only stay because my current situation doesnt allow me to leave…..i give up i hate caps!!!!!!

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