How to Break Up With an Earth Sign (Part 2 of the Breaking Up Series)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a tender Taurus, virtuous Virgo, or a committed Capricorn, then you know how it feels to be with a partner who wants to be your biggest asset. But what happens when your earth sign mate has become a liability? Here’s how to make a clean break with a Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn:

The Breakup Strategy

Taurus doesn’t like change – even if the change is for the better. This quality is what makes breaking up with Taurus challenging, especially for signs that don’t like change anymore than Taurus does (that means you, Cancer) or who would prefer that a problem solve itself (yes, I’m talking to you, Pisces). You want the quickest way to break up with Taurus? It doesn’t exist. When you entered into a relationship with Taurus, you made an agreement to be in it for the long haul and you must honor that agreement. This includes enduring a long breakup. Begin by weaning Taurus out of your relationship by failing to cater to the Bull. Stop cooking all those great meals. Don’t run any more bubble baths. No more late night massages! If this doesn’t work, try introducing Taurus to someone who cooks better than you.

Breaking up with Virgo is actually very simple. Virgo is a mutable sign, which means that the Virgin easily adapts to new stimuli. In this case, the new stimuli would be you wanting to break up. Expect many questions about how you came to your decision. Although the chain of questions will seem endless, it’s just Virgo’s way of gathering more information for future reference. Not answering the questions only inspires more questions, so carve out some time to satiate Virgo’s curiosity and you’ll be home free!

Capricorns are usually the ones doing the dumping, so breaking up with them is relatively easy – as long as you let them be the boss of the breakup. Present yourself as a loser without future earning potential or any interest in money or status what-so-ever. No matter how many times the Goat introduces you to a great mentor in your career field, say you’re not sure this is the right step for you. The Capricorn will fire you from the relationship for being an unsuitable mate (aka business partner). If you don’t let Capricorn dump you, then look forward to changing jobs, bank accounts, and social security #s in order to protect yourself from the Capricorn wanting to get revenge against you (especially if your goat has Venus in Scorpio).

Ex-files

Unless you broke Taurus’ trust, a Taurus ex will probably be in your life forever in some way or another (especially if you have kids together). If you married Taurus without a prenuptial agreement (how’d you manage that?), then be prepared for a long battle in court if you want to leave the marriage with anything Taurus wants to keep, like the car, the house, the kids, or YOU. If you’re moving out of the home you’ve built with the Bull, make sure to clearly mark all of your belongings. It will make packing so much easier.

You will enjoy Virgo better after a breakup than you did during the relationship. Not only do you still get the constructive “advice,” but Virgo might even help you reorganize your life after it falls apart due to Virgo’s highly noticeable absence. If you share children with Virgo, you won’t have to fight for joint custody, but you will have to endure Virgo frequently correcting and criticizing your parenting style.

The great thing about a Capricorn ex is that the Goat won’t kiss and tell about your breakup. It will be as if you never existed at all…

How did your relationship with a Taurus, Virgo or Capricorn end? Did the end of your relationship with an earth sign leave you feeling on shaky footing or on solid ground?

About the Author

Jara Dan-Fodio has been gazing at the sky and observing people all of her life. After reading her first astrology book that went beyond the 12 zodiac signs 15 years ago, the patterns she noticed began to make sense. Although she dabbles in vocational, predictive and electional astrology upon request, her favorites are depth astrology and synastry. She’s an eternal student of life and astrology is just one of her many teachers. You can find more of this 8th houser’s astro-notes at Random Astrology or Twitter.

Comments

  1. I must be an anomaly as far as this is concerned for Tauruses, because the best way to break up with me is by being direct and honest. Passive-aggressive methods (stop cooking favorite foods, etc..) is not only cowardly to me, but it also makes me contemptuous towards that person (to a small degree). Plus, if I saw through it (and I always did), I wouldn’t give them what they wanted. I would confront them and told them if they weren’t men enough to break up with me to my face, then they weren’t going to get what they wanted until I was good and ready to leave them. All the while, I gave it my all to try and fix the relationship while keeping in mind that our relationship might end someday, so I started figuring out ways to create a security blanket for myself (saving money, finding a better job, looking at apartments for rent, etc..) in case the relationship fell apart despite my/our efforts.

    It is true that most of my relationships were committed, and I expected exclusivity (Taurus sun, Leo moon…yeah). I refused to stay in one unless we were committed to each other and exclusive. However, the Virgo and Capricorn descriptions applied to me the most, not the one for my sun sign. In my case, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with them after a break up (out of sight, out of mind works best for me), I was more than happy to give them their stuff back, and I used to burn our love letters to get rid of all traces of them. Afterwards, it was as if they never existed. Of course, this could be the Uranus singleton or Sag rising so…

    I was happily married for many years until my Virgo husband passed away. I’m not in a relationship now and have no desire to be in one for a good long time. I’m learning more about me and am trying to empower myself as I go along this new path. But, a part of me does dread the day when I open my heart to someone else in case they want to play those games. Yet…after the death of a soul mate, a mere breakup isn’t as scary anymore. Plus, I’m a lot older than those drama-filled days of being in the dating scene, so maybe things will be different since any future partner would be in my age range. I think we could handle the volatile energies better as we age than we were when we’re younger.

  2. Breaking up with a Virgo is not as easy as it sounds. I am a Virgo, so I know how I am when someone breaks up with me. Yes, it is accurate that I ask a lot of questions due to the fact that I really want to know why they decided to break up with me and what I did. It is more of a learning experience to me in that aspect because I will know what not to do in my next relationship. However, Virgos are extremely persistent, so just having their questions answered will not get them out of your hair that quickly. Virgos will take getting you back as a challenge and will persistently work at getting you back more and more and more until they have gotten you back, or have felt completely rejected. All in all, either way does not sound like an easy break up!

    Thanks for the post!

    Abby

  3. I am a Taurus female, and I disagree with any of the traits referring to Tauruses as being stubborn. Yes, me may be, but that is true for any sign. I’ve always been the adaptable one in all of my relationships, as friends, with family, with coworkers, and with lovers. In fact, I think that is the confusion. Tauruses seem to adapt most of the time, and people get so used to it that they have higher expectations of their always adapting. But, if there is an issue on which a Taurus wishes to stand firmly, then it becomes a shock, so to speak, to those who’ve always taken their adaptability for granted. Also, do not confuse determination with stubbornness. We can be determined on some issues, but it doesn’t mean we don’t see other viewpoints or won’t change our minds later.

    Other signs, on the other hand, won’t even acknowledge other perspectives. For example, my brother and three other female Leos I know are all EXTREMELY stubborn. They won’t budge after hours of talking with them, even if it is for their own benefit. They’ll throw temper tantrums (flailing arms, pouting lips and all!) if they don’t get their way or if they don’t want to see any other way. There’s never been a good reason for why they won’t budge. Their answer is usually, “But I just have to… I have to do it this way. I see no other way.”

    Scorpios, Cancers, and Virgos can also be stubborn. Scorpios and Cancers will usually use underhanded schemes and emotional manipulation to get their way. Virgo tends to be more upfront about their stubbornness, and it’s usually on a few particular issues which may be a source of so much worry and anxiety for them that they feel there is no other way than the solution they’ve come up with. Virgos are paralyzed by their worries and insecurities at times, so the practical thing for them to do is to minimize their risks.

    To break up with a Taurus (or any sign for that matter), it’s best to do it in person. Don’t focus on any negatives about why you’re breaking up with them. Just tell them that you’ve had some good times with them, but you don’t feel the spark or that their personality doesn’t quite match what you’re seeking. The more generalized the better. When Tauruses are in a relationship, they truly love that person with all their heart, so it’s best to let them down gently. From my observations though, people usually try to get back with Tauruses later, and they usually don’t take you back. So, make sure you really want to break up with them.

    It’s true about the Virgos analyzing a breakup though. They act very cool on the surface, as if they don’t care, but deep down, they are very emotional. I attempted to breakup with one before (after he did something stupid to try to get me jealous) and told him I’d swing by his place soon to pick up my things, and all he said was “OK, I’ll just leave your stuff outside so that I don’t have to see you.” No apologies or trying to explain his actions or anything. But then later, he said that he couldn’t bear to see me because he really liked me and had been upset with himself for messing things up. Honestly, you don’t even need to explain why you’re breaking up with them, and they will just act as if they accept it, but if you truly want them to be able to move on, then be gentle about how you break up with them. They’ll go into a deep depression trying to figure out what could have been done differently. This is where it’s best to go with the “It’s not you, it’s me” approach. Just tell them that you’re just in an emotionally different place with life, work and whatever else you have going on. You’ve changed, and you don’t feel it’s working for you anymore or that you just don’t want to be tied down.

    It’s true that Capricorns will usually drop you first. They’re too career-oriented to have a distraction like a relationship that is unfulfilling to them. I’ve seen many of my friends drop perfectly good boyfriends and girlfriends just because they wanted to focus more on school or work. However, the males tend to keep casual relationships to fulfill their entertainment and sexual needs. They’ll be more critical of you and won’t think they did anything wrong in the relationship.

    If you want to break up with any Earth signs, the best way to make it permanent is to say you cheated on them. But, if you want to keep a friendship afterward, then just be direct and gentle with them. They’ll move on so much faster when the breakup isn’t full of anger or drama.

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