Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.
Yes, breaking up is hard to do. And it’s so much harder when your soon-to-be-ex is an amusing Aries, a lovely Leo, or a smart Sagittarius. If you’ve ever dated fire signs, then you know that breaking up with them is nearly impossible, especially if they don’t want to break up with you. In that case, they’ll pull out all the stops to win you back, which can be a very tempting proposition for you. Assuming you’re truly ready to move on from your Aries, Leo or Sagittarius, you’ll need all the help you can get to make the breakup stick. Here’s a guide to initiating (and surviving) a breakup with a fire sign.
The Break-Up Strategy
Breaking up with an Aries requires some foresight (not a trait that Aries is known for having, by the way). Without a plan of action, the probability of getting pulled into a knock-down, drag-out fight is very high if Aries even suspects for one second that you’re voluntarily walking away from the relationship first (keyword with Aries). The least painful tactic (for you) is to convince Aries that it’s his or her idea to break up with you. Become the antithesis of what Aries respects: a lazy, unfocused and indecisive coward. To make sure the breakup sticks, adopt a new pessimistic outlook on life. Whenever Aries comes to you excited about a brand new venture, point out all the reasons why the venture is the worst idea in the history of ideas. Make sure to point out flaws in Aries’ plan only ONCE, though, because repeating yourself will signal to Aries that an argument is on the horizon. Naturally, an argument may turn Aries on and lead to some break-up-to-make-up sex. If that happens, you’ll have to start all over from scratch, except now Aries thinks you’re playing the “Breakup Game” as foreplay for another enthusiastic sex session.
Leo is a very loyal sign, so breaking up can be extra tricky. In order to escape from Leo unscathed, you must commit to putting aside your ego for the greater good of the breakup. As with Aries, the goal here is to get Leo to break up with you. There are two surefire ways to having a relatively stress-free parting with a Leo:
1.) Go light on the praise and remove the words “thank you” from your vocabulary, but lay the criticism on heavy (especially in front of someone Leo admires)
2.) Convince Leo you’re not worthy of being in the relationship.
Examples of tactic #2 include getting demoted (or better yet, fired) for doing something Leo can’t put a positive spin on or being seen in public looking significantly less groomed than normal (or as Leo expects). The beauty of convincing Leo you’re unworthy is that you’ll just be confirming what Leo already thinks, so this will be very easy. The exception is if you’re a super, duper great catch (to Leo). In that case, don’t bother with #2 because Leo will just hang onto the relationship even tighter. The worst thing you can do at this point is raise Leo’s suspicions that a dumping is around the corner or those paws will dig in and the Lion or Lioness will refuse to be “convinced” that breaking up is for the best. When all else fails, cease all forms of physical affection and that will have the Leo sealing the breakup deal faster than you can spell G-E-T L-O-S-T.
Since Sagittarius appreciates and respects honesty, you can breakup with Sagittarius using a straightforward approach. Luckily, the famous Sagittarius sense of humor will go a long way in helping a breakup remain amicable. Sagittarius may have even been contemplating whether he or she really likes being in the relationship in the first place. This, of course, makes your job a lot easier. Sag may try to find out the reason behind your decision if the relationship is a good one to him or her. He or she will most likely play things cool by cracking some jokes about how they’ll catch you in the next lifetime. To a Sag’s way of thinking, the breakup provided food for thought, another life lesson learned, and yet another friend to add to his or her ever-expanding collection of buddies.
Unless you have extremely compatible personalities, don’t expect to be friends with Aries after the relationship ends. As a matter of fact, don’t be surprised if Aries deals with the breakup by auditioning new admirers as your replacement immediately after your breakup.
Leo makes a wonderful ex if allowed to save face during the breakup. The benefits of Leo as an ex is that his or her benevolent nature almost guarantees that you will receive help in your times of need (especially if you two share any children).
Sagittarius rarely dwells on the past, so there is great potential for you and your Sagittarius ex to be best friends even after the breakup (but only if you dealt with the situation honestly).
How has your relationship with an Aries, a Leo or a Sagittarius ended? Did the end of your relationship with a fire sign leave you feeling extinguished or ablaze?
About the Author
Jara Dan-Fodio has been gazing at the sky and observing people all of her life. After reading her first astrology book that went beyond the 12 zodiac signs 15 years ago, the patterns she noticed began to make sense. Although she dabbles in vocational, predictive and electional astrology upon request, her favorites are depth astrology and synastry. She’s an eternal student of life and astrology is just one of her many teachers. You can find more of this 8th houser’s astro-notes at Random Astrology or Twitter.