How does the Virgo man deal with a breakup?

As a Pisces, I deal with grief and pain by drinking large quantities of alcohol and watching DVDs. (Just kidding on the first part!) Virgo, my opposite, scrubs his toilet when his heart breaks. Unlike Pisces — who seeks to escape suffering by transcending reality — Virgo hones in on the details, immersing himself in ritualistic behaviors. A thorough house-cleaning may help him purge the demons of longing. Or he may participate in a round of colonic hydrotherapy sessions to cleanse himself of embodied relationship toxins.

Virgo is ruled by intellectual Mercury. This analytic guy likes to improve upon anything that is not working efficiently. Even though the relationship is over, he will obsess over what he could have done better, picking apart the flaws in communication patterns, living arrangements and bookshelf categorization systems.

If there is a liability in Virgo’s coping mechanisms, it is that he will process the breakup mentally, yet not truly feel his grief. As a result, he may somatize his sadness, and end up consulting his holistic health practitioner to address problems that would not exist if he truly stayed with his emotions.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Virgo Bloke says:

    As I have just broken up with a Taurus and I’m Virgo male I’ll tell you exactly how it works.

    We fall to pieces, we bargain and go over every everything in microscopic detail. Including ourselves. We hate ourselves for being so stupid, we fantasise about scenarios that simply would never have happened good and bad. We cry, get angry, bargain some more (sometimes with ourselves Doh!) get rational and say pull yourself together man and realise she just didn’t love you enough to want you forever, no shame in that is there?? We get mad and want to write the most hurtful things down and send them. But we don’t.

    But above all we tell no one what we are going through, until we have got to the point that we feel happy (ier) with knowing that it will get better and life is still the same glorious adventure it always was and the pressure of trying to fix what never was meant to be has lifted. Then we get back to being the clever, thoughtful, loyal, trusting, funny and perfect man we always were 🙂

    In some cases this takes years in others it takes a few days

    But I must say, after all my relationships that have broken up, I have never once wanted to clean house!!

  2. I’m a Virgo and I dealt with my 2 breakup’s with partying, drinking, sex, and then therapy.

  3. A lot of these responses must be from really young virgos or first-time serious relationship virgos. The reason I say that is because an experienced virgo will not make the same mistake twice. Yes, the first true-love break-up is hard, but also the virgo has very strong will-power so when they realize the issue is unhealthy or no resolve then they will completely break ties with that person. After that the virgo will never leave themselves open or vulnerable enough to be hurt in the same way again. Also, the virgo is a very innate clean person so of course they will want all of their surroundings clean. It really has nothing to do with overcleaning due to just a break-up.

  4. plz give me suggestion what should i do.i was in a relationship with a virgo guy and we had lots of fights due to which he got fed up and he broke up with me 2 monthsbefore .After broke up he gave me option either to remain friends or totally cut off so i choose to remain friend and after that he didnt text me for 15-20 days and now he is texting me in alternative days and just saying hellp hw r u. dats it. Now plz tell me what should i do to get back him. I really love him

  5. plz give me suggestion what should i do.i was in a relationship with a virgo guy and we had lots of fights due to which he got fed up and he broke up with me 2 monthsbefore .After broke up he gave me option either to remain friends or totally cut off so i choose to remain friend and after that he didnt text me for 15-20 days and now he is texting me in alternative days and just saying hellp hw r u. dats it. Now plz tell me what should i do to get back him. I really love him

  6. plz give me suggestion what should i do.i was in a relationship with a virgo guy and we had lots of fights due to which he got fed up and he broke up with me 2 monthsbefore .After broke up he gave me option either to remain friends or totally cut off so i choose to remain friend and after that he didnt text me for 15-20 days and now he is texting me in alternative days and just saying hellp hw r u. dats it. Now plz tell me what should i do to get back him. I really love him

  7. its very hard to be with a virgo man– i am an Aries and dating virgo man for 8mo now. in ur case dnt ever case him u still have a very slim chance to get him back bec ge is still communicating with u, the problem is when he find someone new he will stop communicating totally… for me just go one with ur life meet other people dnt expect that he will get back to u soon coz the fact that he the one who broke up with u it means that he dont want the relationship anymore.. he keeping in touch bec he havent find someone else yet– but when he does he will totally cut communication with u and will leave u double pain… so just go on with ur life. u stay away… virgo man were very difficult

  8. bonnie greatorex says:

    I have been dumped buy my bf of 5 months, this makes 5 times in 5 months. I still feels its not over as I am always the one who puts us back. It starts is a fight, then he breaks up to end the fight, by the time we reconcile we don’t remember what the fight was about. On the phone that last time we spoke he said “I don’t love you, is that what you want to hear? ” So if he really wanted me to know that he doesn’t love me he would not have added th “is that what you want to hear?” so I will give him a week to cool his anger and see if the love is still there. Pray for me as its going to be a long week! I am a cap and we are supposed to be compatible, my boy best friend is virgo and so is my second husband. I wonder if I have started a pattern, he breaks up with me and I put it back together…..is this what he is waiting for? He tells me that he doesn’t understand why I am with him as I could have any guy I want….hardest relationship I have ever encountared.

  9. I am a Virgo, in my life I have rejected few girls when they asked me out. Later on the Karma took me over, for breaking their heart. I got rejected by few girls that I like. I am getting weaker as times are going by with very little hope for a relationship for now. The girl that I like now was the one that I liked since a few months. She is one of my closest friend but never told her that I liked her. Our society thinks were dating becuz were close, but we aren’t dating. I am trying not to like her but couldn’t, I just cry from inside. I am also not suppose to be having any girlfriend or so. But for the sake of our friendship, I support her in every moves she makes, even if she’s dating someone. Am I right in the step I am taking. And the reason I like her is because I don’t even know why. Hey a girl and a boy can be best friends. If you don’t like this. Then plz don’t comment something that will hurt me. I need help. And thank you for taking your time and reading this.

  10. It may be true about everything you said, I am an Aquarius woman or girl in love with a Virgo guy who I am not sure feels same he does not call until I don’t call 4 a day or 2 when I need his help he becomes silent and when I ask what he really wants he becomes even more silent give me days or months alone then calls back and apologies I want to ask is this how Virgo love or lust?

  11. Eagleyez says:

    I’m Scorpio woman who was in love with a Virgo man.It’s true what they say, Virgo men are hard to deal with on an emotional level. Our relationship was short lived because he was still in love with his Aquarius ex with whom he shared a child. To be frank, I knew our relationship was doomed even before we started (scorp instinct), having a long term relationship with him was not my first objective. My first objective was to show him what love is, and teach him how to love himself. See, his Aquarius ex was a bitch, she knew she had him, so she took disadvantage. I seriously started a relationship with him in order to save him (scorp self sacrificing habit). I then started wanting him cause I knew instinctively he was a good guy (we scorps don’t like letting go anyways) so to be honest I was on the borderline of wanting to keep him but also knowing I’ll have to let him go after I showed him what love felt like. To make a long story short, after 3 months with me his ex came back in his life and used their baby as a weapon to get him back. As predicted he took the bait (unfortunate for him). He started finding silly things to start arguments in an attempt to have me break up with him. I really did start loving him and so I ended up getting hurt. I left him after telling him exactly what I predicted (based on pattern) would happen with her(of course he ignored me…silly boy). In less than 2 months he came back trying to fix things with me. I ignored him as I knew what he was going through at the time was just a brush on the surface of what he was really gonna face. Now, a year and a half after, he’s inboxing me asking me how could i have known what a monster she was gonna turn into. He’s now begging me to give him another chance, he’s regretful and offering things he hadnt offered before. Telling me how stupid he was for letting me ‘his perfect girl’go. I ignored his messages for months until I couldn’t take his pleading anymore I started responding to him. He wants (begging) for a relationship with me. I pity him, so I talk to him and I’m trying my best to be a friend to him, but that’s all I have left. I’m not seeing anyone, but…I can’t see myself going back there…too much darkness. Virgo men will come back, but only if u let them. If you believe he’s worth going back to then take him back, otherwise kick that sicker to to curb. By the way, Virgo men are freaks ( just the way we scored like it) sex was AWESOME. Wait a minute, maybe I can make him into my sex toy…lol.

  12. Eagleyez says:

    I’m Scorpio woman who was in love with a Virgo man.It’s true what they say, Virgo men are hard to deal with on an emotional level. Our relationship was short lived because he was still in love with his Aquarius ex with whom he shared a child. To be frank, I knew our relationship was doomed even before we started (scorp instinct), having a long term relationship with him was not my first objective. My first objective was to show him what love is, and teach him how to love himself. See, his Aquarius ex was a bitch, she knew she had him, so she took disadvantage. I seriously started a relationship with him in order to save him (scorp self sacrificing habit). I then started wanting him cause I knew instinctively he was a good guy (we scorps don’t like letting go anyways) so to be honest I was on the borderline of wanting to keep him but also knowing I’ll have to let him go after I showed him what love felt like. To make a long story short, after 3 months with me his ex came back in his life and used their baby as a weapon to get him back. As predicted he took the bait (unfortunate for him). He started finding silly things to start arguments in an attempt to have me break up with him. I really did start loving him and so I ended up getting hurt. I left him after telling him exactly what I predicted (based on pattern) would happen with her(of course he ignored me…silly boy). In less than 2 months he came back trying to fix things with me. I ignored him as I knew what he was going through at the time was just a brush on the surface of what he was really gonna face. Now, a year and a half after, he’s inboxing me asking me how could i have known what a monster she was gonna turn into. He’s now begging me to give him another chance, he’s regretful and offering things he hadnt offered before. Telling me how stupid he was for letting me ‘his perfect girl’go. I ignored his messages for months until I couldn’t take his pleading anymore I started responding to him. He wants (begging) for a relationship with me. I pity him, so I talk to him and I’m trying my best to be a friend to him, but that’s all I have left. I’m not seeing anyone, but…I can’t see myself going back there…too much darkness. Virgo men will come back, but only if u let them. If you believe he’s worth going back to then take him back, otherwise kick that sucker to to curb. By the way, Virgo men are freaks ( just the way we scorps like it) sex was AWESOME. Wait a minute, maybe I can make him into my sex toy…lol.

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