What to do when your Cancer man is angry at you
July 18, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner
An angry Cancer man is not a pretty sight. He’ll withdraw into his shell and refuse to talk to you, or just bitch and complain (whine). Passive-aggressiveness is also common for a water sign that is famous for moving sideways.
More likely than not, he’s angry because you wounded his sensitive crabmeat, or your actions elicited his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves. It is natural to feel angry when you don’t feel safe.
Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging that you posed a threat, and that you will do everything you can to maintain Homeland Security. (And although our current President is a Cancer, do not follow his example. Torturing others to save your relationship is off limits!)
Talk is just talk, though. The Cancer man, as a member of the cardinal signs, prefers action over words. (A warm embrace counts more than verbal reassurance.) Your overtures should reflect a sincere desire to make things right. Cancer, ruled by the Moon, is an intuitive sign, and will be able to tell if you’re just going through the motions.
Cancer’s feelings of safety are based on emotions, not logic, so a home-cooked meal may indeed do the trick, provided he can taste the love. A cup of warm milk and a nice cuddle can also melt the Crab’s defenses.
Comment below: What would you do if a Cancer man were angry at you?
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Hey, Uncle Hannah (love the username, by the way). It’s great to read of more Aries women who’ve dated or are dating Cancer men. Most people think we’re the oddest assortment, and I, born at the end of March, happen to be married to someone born in mid-July!
Jeffrey, I’ve had long-term relationships with a fellow Aries and an Aquarian before. But you are indeed right when you say that nothing is scarier than the sight of an angry Cancer (similarly, piss off a Taurus and you will feel the earth move – now THAT’S one scary sight as well!). As an Aries, I think a pissed-off Cancer is a far more frightening sight than pretty much any other sun sign blowing their top off. Also, they come down from their anger veeery slowly. Aries will blow off some steam and that’ll be it. On the other hand a Cancer can stay angry for days, even weeks.
Xanthe,
a Cancerian can carry a grudge for years…. though it isn’t healthy. When I’m mad, I’m really mad. I kinda lose my temper only once in 1-2 years. But every time I did, somebody the living hell out of them.
Patience is one of cancerian virtue. It would take a real pain in the a** too exhaust all that patience. Once exhausted, then there’s nothing left but real, boiling, seething anger.
Hi, Huey! Thanks for your comment.
That’s so very true: “Once exhausted, then there’s nothing left but real, boiling, seething anger.” That’s why Cancerian rage is so scary: you can really tell they’ve hit rock bottom, and you don’t realise it fully until you see them lash out at you. My husband and I have had some heated arguments in the seven years that we’ve been together, though I have to say that actually, the really bad ones stopped a few years ago. We’ve somehow learned to speak the same language, and now I no longer feel the urge to push him to the limit, as I used to years ago. Simultaneously, he has learnt to see that my bark is worse than my bite. We complement one another in so many fields, and now that we have two small children our commitment to making the relationship work has obviously become even stronger.
That said, he must really love me, as he has always gotten over his grudges reasonably quickly with me. At the same time I have learned a little of the virtue of patience, which as you probably know is not an Aries asset.
So, have YOU held a grudge for years?
I find that when my cancer hides in his shell it takes a lot of reassurance to get him to inch out. a lot of “mothering”! I have to cuddle and kiss, and tell him how great I think he is. He can see through my lack of sincerity though. So if I don’t have anything nice to say, I say nothing. I leave him alone with his thoughts and let him live in his cozy shell until he’s ready. It’s really tiring sometimes. If he’s mad or upset for any reason, I can only hope it’s not at me because he’s so distant.
I have to explain to him why I’m so crazy about him before he “puts out” lol, which is cute but it’s never reciprocated. He does carry some crazy grudges too. I thought I was bad until I’ve seen how he hates someone still from years and years ago for the most stupid reasoning ever.
Once you get him to come out of his shell with some tender words and actions he’s back to the lovey sweet man I fell in love with. Sometimes with his mood swings I think I might be better off with a gemini lol!
Oh goodness. My friend/the guy I really like is a cancer. He’s sensitive and romantic and protective, but when he’s angry it’s scary as Hell. If he’s anything like my friend, if your cancer man is mad you need to appologize! Trust me, if you wait too long things can get ugly. But, depending on his personality, you might just have to wait it out. It could also depend on what he’s mad about and his willingness to talk. Girls, if he doesnt cool down right away don’t get too uspet. He’ll come around eventually. Also, they more easily get mad when they’re exhausted, so don’t mess with them!
LOL I learned my lesson a long time ago. And… I will never date another cancer man again. The emotional and mental abuse is not neccessary. They want you to be the one to apologize all the time and are so selfish to apologize even when they know they are wrong. Once they’ve got you sucked in on their drama you soon forget what it’s like to be treated fairly. I’m glad things are over with that cancer, I can finnally appreciate the good ones now.
I had an earlier post on here when i was dating a cancer man, asking for some advice… I am not not in contact at all with this guy now! He had serious issues, trust issues and had a lot of growing up to do. I ran back to him twice, the first time he “forgave me” for the guy dancing with me and the first night we got back together after the “event”, he asked what i had been up to and i said i went out at the weekend with a girl friend of mine for a few drinks – he went MAD!!!! He said so we split up and the next night you go out and get pissed. I told him 1. i wasnt pissed and 2. i was with a girl friend, i didnt do anything and 3. we had split up! He called me loads of nasty names, a piss head and a dirty stop out! He told me to go home and that he has gave me another chance and ive blown it!
I was soo confused and still am. We met up a week later when i sent an email, and i poured my heart out to him and i also wrote a couple of poems.. (I dont know why i clung onto this guy) and we met that night but again he just said that ive still done the same thing go out and have a drink and my actions do not represent my words in the email. We shouted at eachother, more so him at me and said do not ever contact me again. And i havent. Not heard or seen from him and deleted all contact information. But i miss him.
He was one crazy cracker….but he was so funny, kind and loving but he just made me feel so guilty for, what i feel, was for nothing. I just dont get him.
We are two very different people and we just clash on the fact he doesnt “want a girl who mingles with the crowd” but i am a gemini and that is what i love doing and do best!!
I miss the laughs that we had cos that was one thing we done a lot of and he could keep up with my witty banter…but the boy has issues!
Gemini and Cancer do not match in the end, their outlook on a relationship is very different.
They’re so difficult!!!
My Cancer and I are on the outs right now. He went home with one of my friends one night, and I was so mad at him I tried to get even. I was at the bar and a man came onto me and kissed me. I pushed away and just gave him my number. He’s been calling me a lot lately too… that’s besides the point.
I forgave my Cancer because I’m an idiot. I told him about the guy that kissed me, and turns out my Cancer knew him and he was furious! He said otherwise but I knew! It felt great to get back at him like that, because he hurt me far worse. He started bringing it up more than I wanted to hear it too!
I think we were almost over it and I practically poured my heart out to him and told him how I was falling for him and he should take it easy with me. He changed the subject and when I went back to it he told me I was being weird. Not weird, cautious! It was my heart not his. That’s when he blew up at me and said I was far too presumptious and told me to go far away and leave him alone. It’s been a few days and I haven’t said a single word to him. I thought I’d let him cool down and maybe come back to me… but at this point, his bi-polar hot and cold days are limited. I am not letting his anger and frustrations institutionalize me! too bad! But I miss him like crazy!