What to do when your Cancer man is angry at you

CancerAn angry Cancer man is not a pretty sight. He’ll withdraw into his shell and refuse to talk to you, or just bitch and complain (whine). Passive-aggressiveness is also common for a water sign that is famous for moving sideways.

More likely than not, he’s angry because you wounded his sensitive crabmeat, or your actions elicited his fierce protectiveness towards those he loves. It is natural to feel angry when you don’t feel safe.

Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is acknowledging that you posed a threat, and that you will do everything you can to maintain Homeland Security. (And although our current President is a Cancer, do not follow his example. Torturing others to save your relationship is off limits!)

Talk is just talk, though. The Cancer man, as a member of the cardinal signs, prefers action over words. (A warm embrace counts more than verbal reassurance.) Your overtures should reflect a sincere desire to make things right. Cancer, ruled by the Moon, is an intuitive sign, and will be able to tell if you’re just going through the motions.

Cancer’s feelings of safety are based on emotions, not logic, so a home-cooked meal may indeed do the trick, provided he can taste the love. A cup of warm milk and a nice cuddle can also melt the Crab’s defenses.

Comment below: What would you do if a Cancer man were angry at you?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. thorntongirl says:

    Anytime honey be strong and don’t give in

  2. Shanmack and Thortongirl here is a useful link that I have read with some good tips.

  3. thorntongirl says:

    Thanks for the article just read it very insightful. Seems we ‘re not totally blind some of this we knew huh girls lol

  4. Thortongirl yeah you’re right.We have to stay a few steps ahead of these men lol.I still haven’t seen or heard feom my Cancer guy friend.It is fine with me and if it’s meant for me to hear ir see him again it will happen.Until then I’m going to continue focusing on me.

  5. Shanmack and Thortongirl it is taking all my well power not to send my Cancer guy a text to say hello. He has been on my mind but I am determined not to reach out o him. The way I see it, if he wanted to hear from me he would contact me. It shouldn’t be me initiating communication majority of the time. What bothers me the most is how he moves on when he is upset with me or in his feelings. Then when I do reach out to him he ignores any communication from me until whenever. As much as I would like to consider him a faded memory it is hard to do so.

  6. Shanmack and Thortongirl I reactivated my snapchat and of I see my cancer guy has been on there.I personally don’t usually use Snapchat but decided to give it a try.Not sure if he will view what I posted.Maybe he will view what I posted or contact me since we haven’t seen one another in a few months.I didn’t view what he had posted but I will admit when I saw his face my heart dropped.I felt emotional.It hurts to think we will never see or talk to one another again.Everyday I’m building myself up to consider him a faded memory because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me.Atleast that’s what he said due to a situation that took place between he and I.The situation is something that needs to be addressed properly but when it comes down to him there is no in between.So I’m going to continue on with my life and if we’re meant to be we will be.Ladies I feel down today.

  7. Shanmack and Thortongirl he viewed what I posted on Snapchat.Maybe that’s a start either way it actually felt good to see that he wanted to see what I posted.I am not going to reach out to him being that I know he saw it.I’ll continue to remain in the background and maybe he’ll one day decide to reach out to me.

  8. Hey ladies just checking in.
    I saw him today and I just went upfront and told him off. His huge smile just flipped and turned upside down. Felt bad for him but I just told him to just stop and leave me alone and it’s best he moved on because I started seeing someone else( which of course is a lie).
    He hung his head in shame and I told him Im not intrested in him because of his behavior coupled with the things he did in the past – especially the disappearing thing. Told him I don’t want a man incapable of talking about things and that we don’t mesh well and we two different people.
    He just got in his car and left.
    I felt kinda relieved. The few days off from him actually gave me the space I needed to really think things through.

  9. Shanmack awesome and you really stood up to him.Even though my guy looked at my Snapchat post,he didn’t or hasn’t contacted me.It is cool and I haven’t seen him in a few months so fuck him.I agree with what you said about the part we don’t mesh well and I need someone who can openly express how they feel without running away.So he will remain on the block list and I’m going to consider him a faded memory.If he decides to hear from me he can text me but I will not reach out to him.I care about him but my feelings aren’t as strong as they use to be?proud of you diva

  10. Shanmack and Thortongirl my guy continues to view snaps I post on social media.Still no contact but maybe one day,if not its fine with me.At the end of the day,I know I tried.

  11. I feel for u all….

    It’s exactly the cancer male in a nutshell , withdrawing.. i get it he is hurt and super sensitive, but really im not a cyborg either I ache for reassurance and stability… which I know he expects but doesn’t provide.. because as soon as he makes me feel trustful, something comes up and I feel like the ice will break under us any second.
    Really really tough to make serious commitment.

  12. Emma we all know what you feel. Haven’t seen my cancer guy again after he expected me to enter a Fwb relationship with him. Last I checked I made a sacrifice to be with him and he didn’t respect that. I’m doing great without him and even though I still think of him often I start to understand that I need a certain stability in my life.
    I’m not made of concrete, I got feelings too. He never notice that but most cancer men dont acknowledge the other person’s feelings. It’s always about them and their feelings and they won’t even say what the problem is. They just disappear for days, weeks and months. Either they need shell time or they persuing someone new and tend to come crawling back when it all comes crashing down right there. That’s when they acknowledge what they have done to you but don’t expect them to say sorry because they won’t.. They don’t know how to and will blame it all on you.
    Take this time to concentrate on yourself, by then you will know if you want him back after this period because he got no sense of time and feels you are there still waiting
    It’s up to you to know what you want to do

  13. Shanmack my guy reached out to me yesterday.I was shocked like heck.I did not reach out to him today.I made up my mind if he wants to communicate with me he will have to initiate it.Honestly I would like to start over fresh with him as a friend and let it flourish from there.

  14. Then go for it.

  15. Shanmack do you think it’s a good idea to give him his birthday gifts considering I wasn’t able to do so because he was mia.One of my family members feel I should and thinks he would be appreciative.I miss him and the true test will be if we decide to see one another in person.HELP ME lol I need some tips and advice….I’m actually feeling excited and nervous.

  16. Shanmack I’m trying not to think ahead of myself.Kinda of hard being that I’m a Libra and we think alot lol.I am going to try to take it slow and allow him to initiate contact.I don’t want to start reaching out to him as often as I was for him to not to respond.That urks me and it’s rude.These cancer men appears to be nice for the most part but their passive behavior is horrible.The way they handle their problems is crazy and yet they will reappear as if nothing has changed.You’re right they want apologize but I’m determined to get an apology from me if we see one another face to face.Because we both deserve that from each other.

  17. Shanmack so being that my guy has peeped out of his shell…what would be a good approach to take with him and do you think I should give him his birthday gift? I honestly still want to give it to him to him to show him that someone really does care about him. The gift is from the heart and I want to see his expression on his face considering he doesn’t even know I got him anything. I know I would be flattered if someone got me something. At this point I want to give him his gift and reconnect and let things flourish as they may.I am willing to take baby steps. Shanmack what do you think

  18. Well. I still didn’t give my guy his gift. Probably never will since I told him off good and proper last time. Oh well still concentrating on me.
    I still wouldn’t give it to him because chances are that this may be a booty call and whoever he was with didn’t work out so yeah he comes crawling back. Know you happy he is back and you want to give him your all. I say take it slow. Let him seek you out again all over like its the first time you both met. After what he put you through let him start from the bottom again working his way up. If he is truly back he will do it. If not its definitely a booty call.
    I’m very happy for you though. I know exactly how you were feeling. You should let him know. What I learned is that they don’t think other people got feelings too. And I bet he expects you to be there waiting for him. Don’t rush it. And hold on to that gift. Know you love him but don’t let him in so soon. He just might up and leave again.
    I felt great telling my guy off. I spoke my mind. He didn’t even respond. Just went further into his shell. I changed jobs too. Don’t think I want to see or hear from him again especially with all the pain he put me through. Hopefully I will make enough money to leave by the time he done playing hooky with some other woman, like he thinks Im an idiot.
    But Im always here. Stay strong just listen to what he has to say and let him know things in your life has changed and if he wants to continue being a part of your life he has to put in the effort and stop with the disappearing act.

  19. Shanmack I hear you and I honestly I wanted to give him the gift with no string attached and let the chips fall as they may.I thought about it could be his way of reaching out as a booty call considering something he said while communicating. We did not spend time together but it left me wondering what was his motive considering he has been gone. I care about him and miss him but the feelings aren’t as strong as they once were.I think if given the opportunity I will have a talk with him face to face. I don’t want to rush into anything because I already know without a doubt he will go mia again. Honestly I don’t even know if I will hear from him again. This is a hard situation and I will be strong if I do get to see him. As for sex I am not worried about that; if that happens it wouldn’t be right away and that’s for sure. I am not going to tell him off because the last time we saw one another was not on bad terms. I just would like to know what happened to make him go mia as in did I say or do something to upset him.Hopefully I will get the answers I am seeking if we get to see one another and sit down and talk.

  20. Girl do what you gotta do. Most crabs take alot of shell time to themselves and hurt the other party. If he was seeing someone else in the meantime then he will never admit it. He was probably just missing you.
    Give him the gift if you like. But have a talk with him. Ask him straight up what’s the motive and always stress that you super busy. If he sways away from the convo say nothing more and talk about all your accomplishments and all you doing to move forward in life as it relates to New projects etc.
    My cancer guy I realized hated that I was moving through life doing things without him especially that I was including other people. He always try to upset my plans and I let him. Ask his advice on something you never really needed advice on pertaining to a new hobby etc. He won’t want you asking anyone else. But just always stress that you extra busy.
    Atleast then you will know his true motives. Curiosity alone will keep him hanging around. Oh and cook something nice and send him on his way after everything. Give him his gift and tell him that you will call him later.

  21. Shanmack yes they do take alot of time to themselves and hurt the other party.This isn’t our first time.Now I will admit I still have feelings for him but not as strong as they were.Usually when we haven’t seen each other in a while and reunite the chemistry is still there.However this time it will be a little different because I plan on taking as much control over the situation.I am not going to argue and fuss with him and actually I would like to find out if I upset him the last time or eas he dealing with his own personal issues.He is younger than me and sometimes I think that plays a factor.Yes I heard they don’t like when you moving through life doing things without them.I will ask him his advice on something and see how he responds.As for the gift I’ll probably end up giving it to him and stress to him;no strings attached and this was sonething I did from the kindness of my heart.If I am abke to give him his gift I will go mia on him for a few days to allow him time to sulk and feel bad for being a jerk and going mia on me the last time.

  22. Girl that sounds like a great plan. Good for it. Just concentrate on you. I am looking at my guys birthday gift as we speak. Sometimes I feel bad about it and I do miss him but oh well. He would have just be gone from my life with a very expensive gift.
    Don’t forget to feed him. Give him a full course meal and dessert. They love to eat. Give him the gift when he is leaving. Lol. So he will have it to be thinking about on his way home. Yeah don’t call him until long after a few days. Even if he calls don’t answer. Give it a few days and tell him you were super busy and haven’t even spoken to say your mom or someone he knows you are close to. He gonna want to make plans. This is what I did with my cancer guy when I didn’t hear from him the first time. I was just super busy but I kept him close.

  23. Shanmack now you got my engine roaring lol. You are right I got to pretend to be busy.Well let me ask you this should I pretend to busy if he reaches out and wants to see me since it has been a while since we have seen one another? As for cooking that sounds great but I honestly I don’t want to invite him to my house to avoid the possibility of it leading to something else. Plus I have guest living at my house. Maybe he and I could meet somewhere to keep things less complicated lol.As for his gift it isn’t very expensive. I actually got him a few things to make a gift bag. A wax burner with two scents,one scent because it represents me and the other is a spa scent because he likes massages, some liquor that he may not even remember he told me he likes, a shot glass shaped like a skull, a cancer lighter and a blank card that I wrote inside of and a homemade birthday card. Shanmack honestly I am ready to give him the gifts because it’s long over due and I really feel he is going to be shocked and appreciate them.The reason I say he will appreciate them because I did something for him before he went mia and he made it known he was not use to someone doing something for him just because.To see the look on his face and to know I left him in a daze like he does me when he goes mia is rewarding within itself.Then if he goes mia again I know deep down inside I will have things to remind him of me and how much I valued him as someone special in my life. The gifts were from the heart and I don’t expect nothing in return. I would think he would feel embarrassed after going mia for probably the slightest reason on to find out that person had a birthday gift waiting for you during your crabby phase.He has told me before the more I get to know him I will get use to the way he does things.But every time is hard and this was the longest we have been without seeing one another.I am going to use some of your game plan and keep you updated!!!!

  24. Girl Im so excited for you. Then you should take him out for dinner or lunch/brunch at your expenses and talk about your accomplishments. Ask nothing about him. At the end of the evening pretend as if you forgot the gift and give it to him when you guys leaving.
    Wow. I got my guy a phone that cost me an arm and a leg. Lol. And I also got stuff for his boys. Yup. We Libra ladies love to give expensive gifts and get nothing back in return.
    Girl make sure to wear something nice and feminine and a subtly nice perfume like a flowers scent. They tend to like that. Get a new hair style too. A nice sexy trim and style that says HELLO I’m back on the market but I’m just super busy…
    Girl I’m gonna need details…

  25. Shanmack yes we Libras ladies love to give expensive gifts and get nothing back in return.I am going to wear something nice if given the opportunity to see him and have my hair styled nice.I am all about perfume considering I have tons of that and body sprays.Going out the eat sounds fine with me and I don’t have any problem covering the tab.Now you said don’t ask anything about him,how will he know it bothers me when he goes MIA without a warning and return as if we are going to pick up where we left off.I do know one thing we Libra women know how to please and leave a lasting impression.The things I have planned out if we get to the point of hands on action is a guarantee to blow his mind and everytime he thinks about it he will be smiling and in blissful shock.But that will happen when the time is right.My goal at this point is to get a clear understanding and give him his gifts.What are your thoughts on the gifts and the cards?I personally think the gift you have for your guy is awesome and I know I would be happy and very appreciative if someone blessed me with that.That was sweet of you to get something for his boys also.I can imagine that would have surely warmed his heart .Yeah I see right now we have some things in common.I got faith my guy will reach back out to me.I am determined not to reach out to him until he contacts me.So what if he decides he wants to see me out of the blue and it isn’t enough time to dress up and go out the eat and so forth,then what?The reason I am asking because he tends to do things like that.

  26. Shanmack the thought of it makes me nervous and excited.He is intense and very assertive so I got to make sure to be calm and relaxed.I will try to remember to talk about me as in being busy even thought I would love to know what the heck he has being doing and wtf he went mia.

  27. Girl you are a Libra. You got something sexy as hell lying around in your house to wear. Cancermen love sexy but love a certain class in women. That’s what attracted my little crab to me. Even when he came to get me at work Im sexy. I thought about bringing up what he did but I think you should save it for if he is really back and wants a relationship with you. You can use it as ammo when he starts to get cosy so that’s when you tell him you not interested in the disappearing act and how he made you feel.
    Just go out and make a lasting impression. We Libra ladies have always got it like that.
    It’s weird people say we Libra ladies are flirting always. Lol. We just love meeting people and want to commit to just one person. They don’t even know how lucky they are to have us in their lives once we choose to be with them. Our loyalty speaks volumes.
    Well my emotions run deep for my crab. I’m a Libra with a cancer moon and Aries rising.
    I guess the Aries in me makes me get angry with him at times. But I do miss my little crab.

  28. I know you are dying to know but he may never ever tell. I know my crab met someone else while I was away. He won’t admit it but I know. It upset me because I’ve been loyal to him for the four months I’ve been away. IDK maybe he saw a better life or arrangement with this person because he knew I was coming home to start over my life again because I gave up everything I’ve ever worked for just to leave. I told him and he was Ok with it. I guess the friends with benefits thing was all he had to offer me at the time until his current woman starts working out how he wants. That’s why I told him off.
    He won’t tell you because he knows you gonna get extra upset and these men don’t like to apologize and they always do the wrong. Only they alone got feelings and everyone else is made out of concrete. Lol.
    That I learn you just gotta accept. When I just met my cancer guy there was a girl calling. His phone was on speaker and I heard her saying she just checking up on him. We were in bed together and he cut the call off. I told him I was leaving and he started explaining that her sister started working with him that morning. Lol. Shouldn’t she be calling her sister and asking how the day is going. I never spoke to him or respond to his texts for two days. He came to my job and explained again. I gave him another chance. I’ve given my cancer guy so many chances. That’s why I blew up. It became too much. I do miss him but the emotional abuse was too much.
    What I’m saying is sometimes it’s best if you don’t know.

  29. Shanmack I can so relate to you and I know the feeling of missing the crabby cancer.They just grow on you and make it hard for us Libras to walk away.I could lose myself staring in my guy’s eyes.The way he kisses me,holds me,talk to me,attentive to me gets me every time.Since I have met him he has changed my life.He is so different from any guy I have ever met. I know cancers are guarded and they make it so hard to get to know them.If only they wasn’t so difficult.My plan is to wait until we are getting cozy and tell him how him going mia bothers me.Right now I am just going to wait and see what happens considering he may and may not contact me again.Have you thought about reaching out to yours?

  30. I so want you and your guy to work out. Girl you deserve it. You deserve to be happy.
    I told him off last month. I reached out to him by text asking if he and the Boy was Ok because we has a storm. He read my texts but didn’t respond so I told him off. I just decide to try and move on. We not friends. He put me in the fuck buddy lane and I trust he still thinks I’m there waiting. Nope. I’m gone. I need to get my life back on track. I messed up by coming home. We were suppose to be living together. That’s what he said. The best thing I can do for myself is just leave and go away again. It’s impossible for me to recover what I lost and a huge part of me don’t even want to be here anymore. He was my only reason for coming home. Now I really don’t know what to do with myself. It’s like I hate everything. I hate where I’m living and my job. Lol. I try to make myself busy but I won’t get back to where I need to be. I gave up great business oppertunities overseas for him. I never intended to be working for anyone ever again. I’m now 35. I worked hard to get to that point and threw it all away for him. It’s like I don’t know how to start over again. That’s the damage that’s been done. Leaving again is my only option. My family furious because I made such a huge mistake. Well they played their part too in me leaving back for home.
    I guess now that I looked back on everything I have every right to tell him off.

  31. Shanmack after reading your message,I can understand your pain and frustration. I am 36 and I have had my share of heartaches and pain.I met my cancer guy at a time when I was at my lowest and while just hitting rock bottom in my marriage.Of course that was tough on me let alone my cancer man.He knows my situation and what I am doing to resolve my issue but yet it doesn’t make it easy for either one of us.I care about my cancer guy alot and being that I haven’t seen him in months the feelings aren’t as strong.However I do feel when we do get to see one another the chemistry will be there.He talks about things he wants to do with me when were together and we act so much like a couple when were together.He has told me his communication isn’t the best and that he is moody.If only he would let me in a little more we could really flourish as friends or lovers.Regardless I am not going to waste time dwelling on him because I doubt it if he waste as much as time as I have thinking about me.I still have him blocked from calling my phone but he can send me text messages since I didn’t block him from that.I am determined not to contact him unless he contacts me and then I will still will act as if I am busy depending on what he is talking about.I am glad to be able to chat with you again because I was feeling like I didn’t have anyone to chat with on her anymore.

  32. Girl I really appreciate talking with you too. I got no one really to talk to. I don’t think he is thinking of me at all. He obviously moved on and claim not to want a relationship.i just don’t want to be around when he does surface again. I wish him all the best even though he clearly doesn’t deserve it. He really hurt me.
    I told him I shall pray the best prayer for him because my god don’t sleep.
    Some days for me are better than some. I pray for the strength to move forward in my life the way I did with my past relationships. But this crab really got me. He got me crying and I don’t deserve this.
    Telling him off felt good. Not that it matters to him but it was how I felt.
    I’m just tired of it all and want to leave again to start over fresh.
    I too was coming out of a rough relationship. I needed a break , I needed to be close to someone, I needed to be appreciated and that was how we happened. It was the same for him too. He had just separated from his ex wife who he gave his all and it ended in a physical fight where she really destroyed him. He was hurt, broken and bitter. We were a comfort in some way to eachother until we started to get serious.
    I just don’t even want to think about us anymore. Sure he with whoever and ain’t thinking about me.

  33. Shanmack I am sure my guy has been entertaining another female because he tried to do that before when we had a major issue.Either way I love and care about him and I told him he made realize feelings that I didn’t realize still exist within me.I know he cares about me because if he didn’t the things we have gone through wouldn’t cause him to go MIA.He will not communicate with me when he is going through his moody crabby ways until he is ready and sometimes that takes days,weeks,months.This time around was the longest and honestly I am not sure if it damaged us.Because like I said my feelings doesn’t appear to be as strong as they were.I will truly know when we see one another.Libras love hard and it takes a lot for us to walk away from someone we care about.So this will be a true test for me.Despite it all I will give him his gifts to get the last laugh; to show him while you were hiding in your shell you had gifts waiting on you that you could have been had.But acting like a damn child prolong everything.Some men will try to give Libras the run around but as soon as we cut them off and they sense it,their ass come running back.By then the our passion and desire for them isn’t as strong.

  34. Exactly. I always tell people that when a libra woman loves you she really does and sees no one else and we expect the same. When we are done we are kinda sorta done. Because of the love that we got for you we will always give you a chance.
    If only they knew. Some people say Libra and cancerians don’t match. It’s hard work yes but really all it takes is communication. Libra is all about communication hence why the silent treatment hurts so much. We wanna talk and get down to the root of the problem and fix it but they are gone. What I realize that it’s the little things that goes unsaid and miscommunication and understanding when we text. Then when we do meet he is distant.
    The more I play this over in my head I realized he was just selfish. He just couldn’t bear knowing I was moving through this lifetime without him .he lied just to get me to come home. Which makes no sense. Why do that when you met someone else. Why do that if you couldn’t commit to me. I know he upset because I didn’t give him the phone but a US$900 isn’t easy to hand over to someone calling someone woman while we together. he was wrong. Might as well I had just sent the phone to him by FedEx and move on.
    Above all I’m a principle of the thing kinda person. I know I’ve been through alot but he hurt me more than any other man I ever knew.
    He manipulated me and abused me emotionally.
    Lol. Isn’t it ironic that it’s always the other woman that gets the easy way in and we who cry because he hurt you and treat you unkind are always the ones getting left behind.

  35. Shanmack you hit it on the head.My guy told me hw wasn’t looking to be in a relationship the last time I saw him.But yet he said I act like we can’t be friends if were not together.I said we can be friends but yet he wanted to kiss and hug on me and I told him that isn’t what friends do lol.He knows how I feel about him but I am not about to play his stupid games.I have to focus on me and do what makes me happy because I am sure that is what he is and has been doing.Yes they say cancers and libras aren’t compatible but I think otherwise.Communication is something we want and cancers has a hard time communicating.With patience and understanding anything is possible.I a sure your guys kicks himself daily thinking about how he let a good woman go.You can replace a person but you can’t replace quality and I am sure he sees that now.You and I will be fine just have to stay strong.When the time comes for me to see my guy I will know in my heart if he worth me dealing with any further.

  36. You will know. The man I had before my cancer was just straight up disrespectful and from like he was more than me. I saw him. And I felt great because he is the one who is nothing. He was with another woman and she was looking me up and down like she saying he is mine. Lol. He left for a small island and left her right here. Lol. He did it to me also after everything I did for him and his family. And when things didn’t work out he came right back.
    I feel Im gonna do the same with my crab. Love him to pieces but won’t let him back into my life.
    I believe every sign can work. It’s all about communication. Two of my friends are a mismatched pair. I always have to be reminding them about communication. It’s always about the little things that are left undone and unsaid. Texting is a killer and sometimes a simple goodbye can mean bad things. The signs that I’m supposedly to be compatible with doesn’t work for me. I can’t stand Leo’s, Geminis are really two face and crazy, saggitarius can drop off the face of the earth because they thieves and all for themselves and Aries men are just too aggressive and pushy. Lol. Most libra men I know are gay and I can’t be with someone who thinks they sexier than me.
    The cancer man in a short time made me feel balanced. I’ve never felt that with a man. Everything is balanced when we are in harmony. He the one always ruining it because he forever looking for the next best thing. Lol. I don’t think they realize that there is no such thing as the perfect woman.
    But I guess perfection for them is security like a woman with money, a nice home, a car etc.i came home to start life over. I made that clear. But I guess it’s the reality of my situation hit him also because they like independent women. Everything Im doing this far is on my own. Back then I got there off my own so I didn’t expect him to be paying my rent and bills. I had a good career before I left. Its just that I’m gonna need time to rebuild myself

  37. Shanmack you will rebuild and the next guy if it isn’t your cancer guy is going to love you to pieces.Your guy has to feel bad and I am sure there isn’t a day he doesn’t think about you.You don’t meet too many people that are willing to uproot to be with someone.That alone screams I am all in and love you flaws and all.My husband or should I say the guy I thought was my husband is a Sag.He was nice for the most part but has a temper from hell and a leach.As long as he can ride of my name and my achievements in life he was perfectly happy.My husband verbal abused the crap out of me and damn near ruining my self esteem and my confidence. Despite it all I was determined not to allow him to drain mentally and physically so I took a firm stand.I met my cancer at the lowest part in my marriage and I didn’t know we would continue to get to know one another.He pursued me to finally I agreed to meet to see him.Each time I would see him I always walked away on cloud nine.He made me feel so alive and brought a sense of excitement to my life that I didn’t know exist.The funny part about this all is my cancer guy doesn’t know I communicate with others and do read about interactions with cancers.So when he goes mia;most times I can relate even though it hurts.I can relate to him doing that because the things I would go through with my husband would cause me to shut down.I would hide my feelings,emotions,pain,tears from others and pretend I was alright.Heck I did good to even get through the day at work without bursting out in tears so others wouldn’t see.So I can 100% relate to your pain.Yes cancer men appear to be looking for the perfect mate but I am not sure for what.Their so unsure of who they are that they make the most erratic decisions that leave them crawling back to the one they shouldn’t have left in the first place.We Libras love hard but when we are done with you we are done unless we reconsider giving you another chance.One thing I can say about myself when I reach my breaking point and cut you off.I will not embrace you the same and 9 times out of ten I will not want you when you think you want me now.I texted my Cancer guy today and said I had you on my mind and wanted to say hello and placed a smiley at the end.He may and may not reach out to me…either way that was my last text I am sending him unless he contacts me.If he does not contact me today,I know for a fact when he does I may text him hours later and say I was busy and good hearing from you at the most.Life is to precious to be playing mind games and like I said he is younger than me.He still has some maturing that needs to take place.Shanmack I can’t help but think he will be trying to contact you again.That man knows he had a good woman.I could care less who he dates and try to kill time with,she isn’t you and that alone is a sword in his heart.

  38. Thank you very much Ms. Lady. I’m doing Ok emotionally some days are better than others. I just can’t lose focus on getting my life back.
    A part of me hope he doesn’t come back at all. I still have feelings for him but how can I forgive him for what he has done. He has no excuse. Some days I wish I could’ve gone back to the day I met him and turned him down. I would be taking very good care of myself financially, emotionally and mentally. It sucks starting over. But Im good.
    I had a sagg for my ex before I met my cancer. This one was ungrateful and lazy, just wanna party, eat, sleep and look nice. He was in his 40’s and we were together for 3 years. I came home from work one day and all his suitcases were gone. Not even a note. His mom who was so nice to me became very insulting and disrespectful towards me and told me at that point I wasn’t good enough for her son and she will never tell me where he is at. I went through life for about 2 years after that only for her to contact me saying he in jail in Switzerland. Lol. Told her I didn’t care and wished her all the best. After a few months they deported his ass back home and he found me and begged forgiveness crying. I took him back but he went back to his old ways again. Thats when I met this cancer guy. Everything seemed balanced and we’ll off. Lol. It’s strange because a saggitarius is also Libras match but never ever again will I go there. A waste of my time and efforts. They don’t want nobody till they 70 and done with running around. I want stability and love in my life. Thought I found that with my Little crab.
    Right now it’s all about me. Any man that comes along again whether it be my crab or not they gonna have to be the one fitting and adjusting themselves to my life and meet my demands. I’m done making sacrifices and forgiving and forgetting

  39. Shanmack I agree the next person that gets with me will have to be the one fitting and adjusting themselves to my life and meet my demands.Yeah I have heard and looked at the astrology chart with Sag and Libras and their supposed to be pretty compatible. My husband and I were for the most part but he’s stuck in his ways.He is also older than me and he got use to be doing for him when it should have been equal.He basically reaped rewards be being with me not that I have much to give;I am referring to the basic way of living.I am more established than my husband when it comes down to the things I have established on my own before we married and that has always been an issue in arguments.He use to say some the most hateful and nasty things to me and literally try to make me feel like I wasn’t anything.But as soon as I put my foot down and showed him I wasn’t taking it anymore he tried to back down somewhat.Well it’s hard to go back into any relationship or marriage when the hurt over shadows the love and not feel a certain way.So to meet my cancer guy was a breath of fresh air and I fell in love with him.I still love and care about him but honestly I can’t say he feels the exact same way I feel about him.He goes mia and returns as if all is well not appearing to give two fucks about how I feel.When the opportunity come to see him.I probably will do the things we discussed in previous messages and make my decision if I want to continue communicating with him.I know me being married bothers him but he also knows I want to be with him.I don’t expect him to wait on me to resolve my situation.I try not to talk about my issue unless he ask,even though he doesn’t do anything but mull over it when we depart from one another.I care about my cancer guy but I don’t think I will be able to continue to deal with the disappearing acts.That passive behavior they display is harsh and I can do without.As for your guy leaving you without a notice was wrong and very hurtful.My husband always threaten to leave me and tell me he would do it unexpectedly.So I know that was devastating.I wonder what his mother thought you were suppose to do when she contacted you to tell you he was in jail.I would have said good now he can relax and get on your nerves while he was there.My husband’s mother had the nerve to tell me when my husband was caught communicating with another woman that he didn’t mean anything by it.I busted out laughing and said bs…he and this woman has gotten close within the months of knowing one another,so how could you say that!!!But then I remember she has given her husband numerous passes.

  40. Girl my cancer guy is/ was married. Don’t know what the status is right now. He was the real reason why I left because I found out he was married. I needed space, time and to get away from it all. His wife who he was supposedly separated from called my phone while I was overseas and I was furious not because she called me but the fact that they must be together hence why she got into his phone. He gave some excuse that he was to go off to the country to work and he took their son to her house and she didn’t have food so he took her to get groceries for his son and left her in his car with the baby and she went through his phone and read all our messages. That’s when he told me as soon as his divorce is over we are going to live together. Well here I am living alone. I heard from a source that he got his divorce. So yeah he continues to let me down after we made so many plans.
    I guess the divorce is the reason why he doesn’t want to be with anyone and just toss me in the friends with benefits lane. He says he doesn’t want a relationship with anybody now or for the forseeable future. That motherfucker made me give up great oppertunities. He expected me to wait and bear with his situation till he sort out his divorce and now he left me high and dry. I know he must have met someone while I was away. That I believe. That’s why I don’t want him back. We even talk about having a child together. I could have met someone right where I was and got a life. He never stop till he got me back home. I’m starting to hate him. Because he wouldn’t have waited on me to sort stuff out like what Im doing now.
    Cancer men are just plain selfish.
    That’s why I told him off last month.
    My ex before my cancer didn’t come into the relationship with anything much. He just slept late, eat and is normally on his way out to party in some club or bar. He even had other women who he claimed to be just friends. His mom know about them and accepted them because they either had a higher paying job than me or something they consider it be more than me. Mind you I have been picking up the slack financially.
    I was even supporting his mom with her bills and monthly expenses and she didn’t even know it. The next thing also is that I fear being with a man and his mom turns around and treat me badly. My cancer guy told me his mom was coming to visit in the new year. He hasn’t seen her in a few years to my understanding and I’m always encouraging him to go and see her but work does keep him extra extra busy.
    I do miss him still even though Im angry. But do I really want an unstable man in my life.

  41. Shanmack we really do have similarities lol….I could see why you are upset after reading that.Like I said before,that man has to feel bad for letting you go. How could he not,knowing you gave up everything for him.Even if he doesn’t admit it his thoughts are probably getting the best of him.Yeah my Sag got use to be spoiling him with little things here and there and the doing the small things that count.I remember him saying to me “you use to do this or you use to do that”.Hell apparently I did too much while he did the bare minimum.You are right these cancer men are selfish as fuck.They come across as a really genuine and the next thing you know they drop you from mid air.My cancer guy would mention things he wanted to do with me and what do you know(nothing).I learned not to get my hopes up because I knew nine times out of ten it wouldn’t happen.It upsets me to see he reached out to me and I have reached out to him twice since then and not even a hello from him.Nobody is that busy that they can’t take a second to respond back.So I am going to practice no contact with him again until he reaches out to me.When the time comes for him to reach out to me and he isn’t talking about anything that interest me,well guess what!!!!I will be busy or atleast that is what I will tell him.As much as I am attracted to him,I be damn if I will allow him to play mind fuck games with me.I am too old for that and he still needs to grow up.I don’t know wtf I was thinking getting involved with a younger male.Truthfully this last MIA act has caused me to lose alot of interest in him.My feelings aren’t as strong as they were.I really wouldn’t be shocked if I see him in person and that Libra scale is tipped.Meaning you know how we are when we lose alot of interest in a person and they haven’t been showing us the same.Once we lose interest it’s hard to get it back.

  42. I know what you mean. I don’t like the mind fuck games either. Because of how upset I am I don’t want to see him at all. I just want the next time he does see me im 100% and I don’t know him and we’re never met before and Im so not interested. That’s what Im working on. He don’t care about me and won’t even think about me until this new woman starts giving him problems. I made sure I blocked him from both my phones, changed jobs and he doesn’t know where I live. He would have to see me in the streets unless I see him first.
    What I do know is if he does come back expecting me to take him back I am going to treat him like crap. He doesn’t deserve anything else good from me. I’m just tired of it all. Why should I give him an easy in back in my life to do the same thing. As soon as someone new turns up he back to his old disgusting self again. I can’t imagine living with him and he starts doing the silent treatment thing again because of what I say or did not say or what I do or did not do. I’m not made Of concrete. I’ve got feelings too.

  43. Shanmack I don’t blame you for wanting to treat him like crap the next time you see him.He deserves it and more. I don’t know how he sleeps at night knowing what he did to you. Like they say what goes around comes around and his day is coming. Cancer or not that was dead wrong. I am to the point where I am not going to go out of my way to contact my cancer guy. Their too damn childish and act like people have to walk on egg shells to deal with them. Don’t get me wrong I am glad he reached out to me but with so much time passing by has me feeling way different about him. Now I am guarded and on the fence with him. I will be fine giving him his gift to show him while he was mia you had a gift you could have been had.But hiding in your shell it prolong him getting it.You can to be strong and living your life to the fullest degree. Everything you wish for and want in life will be yours.Just claim and watch God make it your reality.

  44. Thanks Mrskinyo. But Im just concentrating on me. It’s all about putting my life back in motion. I love him but he better not surface again in my life. I hope I will be able to sort out myself again and leave before he actually gets back. What could he possibly do or say at this point to make it better. Years of hard work down the drain and I got no one to blame really but myself.
    I just find it hard to start over here from scratch. I don’t even have certain drives anymore. I lost so much contacts – it’s appalling..
    I’m OK some days but on others I don’t even want to get outta bed. But doing better than two months ago. Just giving myself time. If it doesn’t pick up then I’m gone.
    Just have to keep telling myself that everything gonna be OK. But right now I just don’t need to see or hear from him anymore.

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