How?

His sun in Aquarius :trined: my moon in gemini & his mars in Scorpio trined my venus in pisces (he also had CERES in pisces *conjunct* my venus) AND his venus in Cappy sextiled my sun/venus/mars (all in pisces). We both had LIBRA rising conjunct as well.

For anyone that can figure that out- good luck:)

We BOTH had venus-moon square (amongst other conjunctions, trines, & squares). Our charts were impatico for the most part 50-50 positive & hard aspects.

I can see how a partner can feel used/trapped vice-versa – we tend to sabatge our own happiness- because of this I believe, if I marry at all- it will be late in life when I’m too tired to keep switching lovers.

Add the pisces/neptune aspects: unrealistic dreamers, fantasy prone, uncomfortable displays of “public” affection- alcohol is usually involved.

funny thing is. When its one on one with a partner things are great. Once Im in public, I want to be seen as free, single, ready for fun 9even if i doesnt lead to that).

Home/ family life- the moon is what we need to feel SECURE conflicts with love/affection – venus is what we WANT to feel attractive, sexy, desired. they are both the epitome of femininity. Not positive when they CLASH:(

Other than this, I had trouble recognizing my self as attractive, I guess my Scorp Moon was pessimistic when I was younger. I thought men are just sex-hungry animals that never pick their prey cause why the hell would anyone want me with all these pretty girls around?! Got that sorted out, luckily, by the age of 19, maybe even 20.

In relationships, assuming that we’ve defined this aspect as a conflict between what we need and what we want, or as emotional security vs. good sex, I think I never made this trade-off. There’s no emotional security a man can give me if sex isn’t on the level I reckon as good, there’s no way I’m falling in love, also, under these circumstances. And although I could feel in a relationship that I’m not getting proper emotional response from the other party involved, on a rational level I knew that most cases I am the one being paranoid.
But, since irrationality is a personal trait of mine that shows up from time to time, feeling of ’something not being right’ could develop a burst of words, flame and tears (‘You don’t love me, though I don’t see why are you with me then’ – irrationally rational, yeah). With time I start to trust in the one I’m with guided by ‘no risk, no gain’ idea.

Maybe I found some way of balancing stuff, or maybe my self-awareness is not that high as I think it is. Am I making sense here?!

“Yes, the first thing that comes to my mind when I think about this aspect, is that it represents a conflict between what you want and what you need in a relationship.”

This is very good. What makes it much more difficult is that the aspect shows the type of mothering one had and often, tho not always, the mother didn’t take care of one’s needs appropriate and thus the native is often confusing his/her needs and his/her wants. Figuring out what is a real need vs. what is just a want is not very straightforward here and, depending on the signs, it can make it difficult to feel justified in claiming some needs. What’s more important, anyway, what one needs or what one wants? For instance, in my marriage, I thought that my need for security was more important than my sexual satisfaction. Anyone can plainly see that security is important whereas one can do without sex, no? But that can be a real need for some, depending on one’s chart, and not just something optional. A person with Mars or Venus in Scorpio (not me, btw) will deal with the lack of sex in a completely different way than a person with Mars or Venus in Virgo, say. Being a Cancer rising, I liken sex to food: some people are perfectly content with fast food whereas others would feel deprived without home-cooked meals and others still can only be truly happy with gourmet food. You’d think, hey, food is food, as long as you have enough, what the hell are you complaining of? But there’s a soulful aspect to our needs as well and no one can really tell you what you need. But with a Moon/Venus square, in my case, anyway, that is exactly what I was told as a child: You don’t really need that, do you? (As a matter of fact, my sister and I were having this conversation some weeks back, not in terms of astrology but in terms of how often we heard that refrain from our stepfather: You don’t really need that, do you?)

If you’ve been taught by your own mother that your needs are negotiable, then it becomes automatic for you yourself to think so as well. When something is automatic, it is that much harder to see clearly. Breaking down automatic behavior is very hard to do.

I’ve been wondering whether this problem can be at least partially solved in a situation where a man is in a relationship with a woman who has for example Sun in conjunction with his Moon and Ascendant in conjunction with his Venus, therefore embodying both – desired lover and wife.
Of course, assuming that forming a relationship with suitable person can help to solve strictly internal conflict.

Virgos are known for their masochism so it shouldn’t surprise anyone – personally, I love my squares. Honestly. Difficult as they are, but they’re also highly motivating.

Eme Kah, for the past weeks Saturn has been terrorizing my Venus/Mars conjunction. Still, if there’s a person who doesn’t want to give that old rascal the satisfaction, it’s somebody with leonine influences in a chart
Take care!