Aries won’t take no for an answer
July 9, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner
In the comments section of What keeps you from straying, two readers shared their experiences with trying to break up with an Aries:Noctule: The Ram that latched onto me regarded me as their property to such an extent that breaking up was impossible. I even said that it was over, that I didn’t want anymore, and the Aries totally plowed that statement down and latched onto tighter…. I wonder if the majority of Ariens or people with heavy Arian influences are this oppressive and tunnelvisioned.BlahBlah: I broke up with my [Aries] boyfriend in October of one year and he still considered us together all the way through February of the next year and kept pestering me about getting back together.
Aries is the “my way or the highway” sign of the zodiac. Being the first, its concern is its own needs, period. If you look at the progression of the signs of the zodiac from a developmental perspective, there is a movement from personal to relational to collective or transpersonal concerns. Just looking at the fire signs, you can see this progression: Aries is the initial burst of vitality, channeled towards initiating a project or satisfying an impulse. Leo concerns “play” as well as the need to be recognized (by an “other”) and to express warmth and generosity towards others. Sagittarius relates to one’s passion to explore the world and understand the codes of ethics/philosophy/religion that keep us functioning together as a society.
Aries can be egocentric. The sign opposite the Ram is Libra, which is all about taking into consideration the needs of others. The sign of the Scales balances the deficiencies of Aries. To some extent, Aries’ needs are the only needs that matter. If they’ve got an objective or desire, they’re going to hurtle down the track whether you hop on the train or not. The problem is that some Aries can be bullies, and they will pull you on board even if you don’t want to go along for the ride.
Comment below: Share your experiences with Aries … the good, the bad, the ugly.
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I am an Aries and can vouch for the accuracy of what Jeff says. We tend to get swept up in the romance of things (or the lust of it; or both) and assume you’re right there with us. If you don’t play along, we’ll often try to push you to go along with us. It comes from a good place, though: we want you to feel as caught up in the moment as we are. The idea that you don’t feel the same is utterly baffling and ultimately heartbreaking. We’re really that naive about love.
“The idea that you don’t feel the same is utterly baffling and ultimately heartbreaking.”
So this explains my Aries friend and her search for love, by search I mean every guy she came in contact with-she was in love with-’this is the one’-her actual words. I being a Capricorn would tell her to stop it and get a grip. But each time she believed it to be love, I learned to let her do her own thing-she would of done it anyway.
Yeah, I’ve got a cappy moon squaring my aries venus. When I was younger it was like watching myself participate in a train wreck I was unable/unwilling to stop… I’d just charge ahead in relationships, even if I felt doubtful and exposed. When it fell out badly — as it usually did — I always felt devastated. Only age and experience have allowed me to own my cappy heart and give it some say in love matters.
Thanks Anon 3:59 for sharing some insight from an Aries’ perspective. It really helps me understand the motivation and not just write Aries off as an unfeeling emotional bully.
I’m currently dealing with a guy who has Sag moon and Aries venus, and boy when he gets his feelings hurt, it’s a wrap. He can’t hear anything else and doesn’t care about anything else. To make matters even more complicated, his sun is in 7th house, so when he’s not riled up, he’s very Libran in behavior (constantly compromising, until the Aries venus kicks in and starts demanding reciprocation for stuff that HE WILLINGLY GAVE UP/AWAY). VERY confusing, to say the least.
@Anon 7:04,
I dated a Pisces with your same combo (Cappy moon, Aries venus – and mars, actually) and he was a peculiar mixture of caution and go-for-it! attitude. Between my Sag rising and his Aries moon, we both got carried away before our more cautious planets reigned us in.
How do you let your Cappy moon “have some say” when Aries venus doesn’t want to let her get a word in edgewise?
I’m both 3:59 and 7:04.
The way I’ve learned to let my cappy moon have some input is to avoid snap decisions. I don’t make any moves without giving myself a cooling off period. This has required quite an adjustment in my generally spontaneous sexual nature. Usually my cooler heart can prevail in a day or two. Also, it helps having Mars in Taurus. If it were in Aries too I’d be in big trouble!
I have an Aries friend with very strong Pisces influences in her chart.
For a few years she was going out with one guy who had difficult family situation, just because she made firm decision that she was going to “save him”. Period.
That all is good feedback! Jeff’s comments seem to all have been pretty accurate as my experience goes with Aries. I am surrounded by many at this point in my life (both males and females) as well as many Geminis. All of the Aries seem to fall in and out of love all the time especially the females. As being a friend not involved with any of them (I am a capricorn and not really attracted to them and vice versa plus I am engaged to a wonderful man who is truly my better half!)it is amusing to listen to them although I can’t really relate (I also have one Leo friend who can’t seem to keep away from Drama in the romance dept. who is probably more entertaining than all of the Aries combined)
However, I had a question about one friend who’s Arian behavior has me confused as he is normally a pursuer and has no problems getting attention from the opposite sex as he is in a popular band, good looking, etc. There is one female who I know he has to have a crush or slight infatuation with, who he can’t seem to muster up the courage to talk to but seems to know everything about her and if they are in the same room will stand by her but not say anything to her and sometimes just seems to zone out and we’ll catch him staring yet he never talks about her to us as he would normally about others he is interested in. She seems friendly,smart, and is very pretty although I am not sure I would call her intimidatingly gorgeous or anything like that (maybe to her he is?)He is usually a loud guy and many a time life of the party but if she’s around he hardly talks.
I do know that he has a Venus in Taurus and Mars in Aries from a time when we were all discussing signs (not surprisingly the guys in the room didnt know there was more to it than the normal sun sign my fiancee included) so we looked up those that didnt know theirs and he was one of them. I dont know the woman but would guess she might be a Taurus or Cancer as she has that typical hourglass figure that usually is associated with those signs. The only thing I could think of was that she doesn’t really seem to show any interest in him and maybe that makes him interested in her? I would love to give him some advice as I haven’t really seen him this shy (yeah I know an Aries shy?) ever before but wanted to see if anyone had dealt with something like this?
I definitely think your friend must have a bit of a thing for that woman anonymous. Being an Aries male I am usually also one that has no problem attracting women and taking the initiative, however I have also experienced being unable to think of anything to say to someone I was really interested in. My Venus is also in Taurus and a beautiful Taurus girl who I dated sure made it hard to get to know her. It wasnt really anything she was doing but it was more myself and that I couldnt even really talk to her because all I could think of was that she was the one and how could I get her. There were times when all I could do was watch her as she talked to other people when I thought she didnt know. Feelings of intense jealousy would overcome me for no reason if I saw her talking to other men. I felt she was perfect and could do no wrong, I would listen to her talk and many times felt she was saying things that I would say. The sexual attraction I felt towards her was also unlike anything else I had felt (or have felt since). Having my Venus in her sun sign must’ve played a big role in that I am guessing. There was def. a strong mental and physical connection to say the least.
So your friend’s current interest may very well be a Taurus if his Venus is in Taurus
Unfortunately, she came along before I knew anything about astrology so I am not sure if we had other astrological factors I just started to learn about it through an ex not too long ago. This is one of the best sites I have come across.
haha…I am an Aries sun/mars/venus, gem rising, with cappy moon. I dated a guy just like you Anonymous. A double gem though, with taurus rising and cancer venus, scorp moon. He would do the same stuff…watching, waiting, hanging around, tongue-tied the whole time, for years. Until i finally talked to him and asked him out
) I had a crush on him as well. We dated a while and sure enough, he kept up the tongue-tied act and i had to ask lots of questions to get him to open up a bit. He’d get jealous too if i did so much as look/talk with another guy. The chemistry was amazing, strong physical/mental/emotional bond, never experienced the same again. Sadly, he couldn’t handle his feelings and broke up with me just as we really started to get closer. Said his feelings for me were scaring him and he didn’t want to get involved. Yet he won’t let go! He still does the stuff from before and asking about me through friends. Have you done this to someone?? anyone experience something like this?
Anonymous with the Aries friend that behaves strangely around a woman you think he may be attracted to.
You can’t ask him?
You don’t have to say”Oh I know you have a crush on her”, LOL, but you might mention he seems oddly quiet around her, more thna quiet even.
I’m sure since you know him and his reactions,that you’ve picke dup on things correctly, but the first thing I actually thought of is that she might ne intimidating, yes, but more in some way he feels uncomfortable about, not in a romantic way.
Btw, I’m a Libra and I have an hour glass figure.
It’s not unusual either, most Libra women have ‘equal’ or graceful curves.
What’s her eyes and face shape like?
Anyway, can you ask him about her in some freindly manner?
Thanks Proserpine for the feedback and suggestion! My fiance actually asked him once but not too tactfully and he wouldnt talk about her or acknowledge a crush. Although he has no problem attracting women as I said, whoever he goes after he usually gets pretty quickly. As I said, this woman doesnt seem to really pay attention to him.
She could be a Libra but is a little voluptous so I figured she might be a Taurus or Cancer because of this. Her face is sortof roundish/ovalish I think and eyes are sortof dark (I guess maybe like Spanish eyes … large, dark lashes, brown eyes?)
I’m a Sag lady (virgo rising, venus in Sag) in love with an Aries man (Scorpio rising, Venus in Gemini) who also happens to be married. I’ve been trying to break it off for the past year and he sucks me back in with passive agressive guilt-trips. I got sick and tired of the promises and lies and left… AGAIN. This time he didn’t try to worm his way back in. Just disappeared. I don’t know why I’m writing this, just need closure I suppose. People with Venus in Gemini are supposed to have a tendency to always be involved with two or more people at a time, so I guess I’m looking for closure. I find it calculating and kind of disgusting really, nowhere near naive.
Hi Lina, obviously I don’t know this Aries guy, but I have Venus in Gemini. You’re right about the liking to deal with more than one person at the same time. Maybe he’s bored with his wife, and you represented good times, excitement, etc. Boredom can definitely tempt a Venus in Gemini to look elsewhere. Ironically, that low threshold for boredom could mean HE’S the one who’s BORING. I mean, it’s easy to go get someone new when things are getting monotonous, but doesn’t it take some imagination to keep an old relationship fresh?
Opposites are attracting with your Venus in Sag and his Venus in Gemini. He also has Scorpio rising and Aries sun. Both Scorpio and Aries are ruled by Mars (co-ruled in the case of Scorpio). Maybe he feels like all of that excess energy can’t be expressed in his marriage. Either way, I’m not excusing his actions. I’m just trying to give you some possible explanations for his ways. With his Scorp rising, you’re probably right about him being calculating in the way he dealt with having an extramarital affair. Hopefully, understanding his behavior will give you the closure you’re seeking.
my kid wont take no for an answer when he wants a cookie neither
thats just the way kids is
i love my kid
My Aries guy is self-admitedly obsessed with me!! (I’m a Sag) I’ve known him for a little over four years and he tells me all the time that all he does is think of me, and that he is afraid he loves me “too much”. He’s the best
although he’s a liar, breaks everything in our apartment, and makes messes that rival toxic dump sites….he’s just too sexy and pursuasive to say no to!
My Aries boyfriend of a year and a half is quite the bully. He is always twisting around things that i say and putting me on guilt trips. He loves to tell me how selfish and uncompassionate and impatient I am. Selfish? Uncompassionate? Impatient? Are you kidding me? I’ve put up with your ego for a year and a half! Always having to be first, always having to be right, butting in line, etc…being polar opposities has its advantages…but I just can’t take the disrespect and rudeness and bullying and controlling behavior anymore.
When you break up with an Aries it just gets worse! At least in my case! Nothing will unleash a steady stream of voicemails, emails, text messages, univited visits, like dumping an Aries. They love the challenge and will sometimes lie and do anything they think you want to get you back…but then guess what….once the chase is over, same old same old….sigh….
I gotta stand up for the aries here… remember we’re still learning about this relationship stuff. It just doesn’t come easy to us. Relationships have subtle shades of meaning at times and Arians like things simple & cut & dry.
It takes time for us to learn that
A. We can’t always get our way
(A.1 It was probably a good thing we didn’t get our way!)
B. We have to find a way to satisfy our own needs AND our partners needs.
And if we’re pursuing you or ignoring your breaking up hints,
realize we’re simply not ready to let you go. We want to give the r/s our all- especially if we gave up our “philandering” ways for it. It’s liking a kid who has a favorite shirt they LOVE to wear. They’ve outgrown it but no matter what, they still want to wear it! It takes awhile to sink in that it just won’t work.
We eventually will do it, but the biggest fear for an Aries, whether they admit it or not, is that they will end up alone. Despite brashness and bravado, even we take breakups hard. Especially if they aren’t initiated by us!
ari3sfire
I think that if you really look deep into your soul and you like who you are, then being alone isn’t that hard to except, also, those alone are not always alone due to their own vices or fault. There is a great deal of luck…Bad luck will get you no matter what your sign 
As far as being brash, do you know how much it hurts when a guy takes the other road? Indiference is the ugliest foe for love…I’d find a bit of brashness a bit refreshing for a change 
That part about the fear of ending up alone, if thats true then theres a little Aries in everyone….I am alone and “being” alone is far easier to deal with once you’ve had a good decade to absorb it
I was with an Aries and it is VERY true. He still behaves as if we are together. I am a Sagitarrius woman, with Scorpio, so I am much more stubborn than he. He still argues with me like he is incontrol. I find it hilarious!!! Although, now, I understand that I am wounding his fragile ego, I can not help but to find the humor in his domineering personality. We were a match in heaven, until he started yelling, lecturing to my hypocritically. What was good for the goose, was not good for the gander. That’s when he would threaten breaking up, that I agreed. It was all too dramatic for me. I like a bit of edge, but all the bulls*** and reason, not so much. We still chat and he still wants back in, but he’ll have to crawl to get my attention.
SPOT ON ari3sfire BUT PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT UNTILL THEY ARE IN THE POSTION THEMSELVES
okay this aries guy tried to talk to me one time he was very charming, but i was very shy so i didnt say much. the next time i saw him he asked me if i knew his name, i smiled and shook my head no (but i actually did)and he turned his head and went back to doing what he was doing. But then i told him i was just kidding i knew his name. if i had left it at no would his feelings be hurt, would he feel like i regected him or didnt notice him he. Or would he take it as a challenge and want to persue me more ?? Can an aries man or someone whos delt with them please tell me how they think.
by the way his birthday is april 10, if it matters
My way or the highway? My ex used to accuse me of that LOL I have an Aries moon and the guy Im with now has Mars in Aries, hopefully that doesnt meant chaos later LOL
to ‘Anonymous’ July 21, 2007 at 6:16 am
the girl her friend is infatuated with could well be a sagitarius or any sign can have a hour glass figure though pisces iz also voluptous you really have to look at her moon and venus sign i have a feminine figure and im a with moon in cancer with sun capricorn/aquarius cusp and were so supposed to be skinny or athltic-but thats not always so .
i know of aries men who have strong crushes on sagitarians and capricorns and aquarians.