How to get a Capricorn man to be more responsive to a Virgo woman

What kind of responsiveness does a Virgo woman want from any man? She’d want her guy to both notice the effort she puts into making the home organized and clean, and to help out in the maintenance of that level of orderliness. On a more personal level — despite her modesty — she may want to be valued for the attention she gives to her appearance, as well as the behind-the-scenes work she does to make everything run smoothly.

A Capricorn man is not likely to “tune out” at home like a Pisces, but he may — after a long day at work — sit on the couch and read the Wall Street Journal instead of attend to dust bunnies. He wants order like Virgo, but on a higher level – the structure of organizations, rather than the structure of the shoe closet.

In his quest to increase his status in the world, he may not be so concerned with the details of mundane life, except to the extent that they help facilitate his ascent. He will, however, take pride in providing security to his partner, and as a Virgo woman can sometimes be a little O.C. (that’s obsessive-compulsive, not Orange County), his Capricornian consistency can help reduce her worries.

How to get the Capricorn man to be more responsive: Suggest he host a business-related cocktail mixer at your home. It would have to be on a weekend, so that he can help participate in the preparation: helping you clean, giving you feedback on your attire — he will, after all, be invested in having everything “look good.” In addition, he won’t be able to take for granted the work that goes into such a production.

Comment below with your ideas.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    this is interesting…I am a cap woman who is interested in a virgo man. I like him and I think he is interested in me but we have a business relationship.[that alone is a strike against him] Should i let him know i adore the way he thinks,tell him I’m interested or just forget about him…

  2. Anonymous says:

    I am a Virgo woman who dated a Virgo man for 11 years. Virgo men are ok, emotional, strong minded, very sensative, but great in bed. I think that some Virgo men take alot of words personal at times when you are simply trying to get them to understand how you feel. It became difficult for me to tend to a Virgo man when we both had the same needs and became selfish with oneantoher because these needs were not being met. I am now dating a Capricorn male who is very different from the Virgo man and I love it.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I agree with the post on this site. I am a virgo with a capricorn mother, and I have dated and work with Caps. Let me tell you what I have experienced…

    They are very good savvy business people, managers (organizers), generous and protective of those they love. Most of the time they will not tell you all that they do to protect you (it can get pretty extreme) and even hide it from you so that you do not worry. They want you to think well of them and appreciate them. They only think about you and your well being and want to make sure you are safe and comortable.

    They walk and stand straight and give the appearance that they aren’t anyone to contend with. Most of the time they have a lot of self-control and dignity. They take their jobs seriously and do not tolerate foolishness. They graciously accept praise. If you’re the type to listen to advice and are humble, they are the best friends, because they will tell you like it is. They are street-smart and you can rely on what they say in their profession.

    Extremely sensitive and empathetic when you talk about your problems. Don’t miss any details… they will not think less of you when you make a mistake, but it is important to tell them 100% truth and all the detail so they can make the right decisions. They can go overboard on the “mother bear” because they love/like you, so you have to explain sometimes what you say or what was done to you is really nothing if it is truely what they are.

    They are very courageous and likewise they’ll let you know they are sorry if they are convinced they did something wrong. They try not to hurt you and make you feel like you are “all right”, but eventually they let you know what you need to change in a diplomatic way. They like to tell secrets to you and others, and it is ALWAYS with the best intensions. The Caps I know are afraid to lose relationships and getting hurt like many signs. Be matter of fact and also gentle with capricorns. Approach them with respect. Under the normally cool demeanor, there is also a very tough side that you do not want to stir. They are self-respecting and like to go to parties with socialites, but as adults they are really young at heart and you cannot keep them down. They enjoy the younger crowd, know the trends, and have a slap-stick and sarcastic sense of humor. All around great people are Caps, but so are the remaining 11 signs! :)

  4. Anonymous says:

    They are adorable, but they make you wait until they are ready.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I am virgo woman and the man I am interested in is capricorn, I met him about 2 months ago, it was only eyes contact and we had such a click, so I took the first step and talked to him and exchanged emails of work, but the problem is that I always feel I am the one taking the first step, and I can see that he likes getting attention, but I don´t know if I should step back to give him some space, or do I keep emailing him even if he doesn´t reply??? I don´t know how to make him interested in taking some steps, I already invited him for lunch at work and he said that he is so busy now to go out for lunch without suggesting another time, do I just step back now and wait for him??? I was thinking about sending him tickets for theater to go out for friends as he likes that and I don´t want to push myself there, do I do it??? tell me how to handle a Capricorn man and makes him intersetd…

  6. I’m a Cap man and we like to be pursued, but I reccommend backing off a bit..don’t call or anything…and make him call you or set up plans…it’ll come to him that he wants to hand out with you. If not, then the call will never come in. And then you won’t have to guess if he’s interested anymore. Caps think very black and white.

  7. I am a virgo woman, and I have a cappi boyfriend. He is difficult sometimes. He ignored me at first…developing a friendship is important because it takes a while for a cap to open up, and accept your presence. If you know that there is something special possible…ask him about work…don’t be overly loving, or desperate seeming…just let him know that you really want to get to know him…and see what happens. It took me 7 years…I was young and patient. I knew that I wanted him, and I just don’t disappear… I understand that work, and family come first…

  8. Catherine says:

    I have been dating my Cap man for 2 years. For the first 6 months I was continually asking myself – “Why does he keep calling me? I can’t even tell if he likes me!” Turns out, he was “into” me, but it took almost a year before he really began to open up and be himself around me. I have found that most Capricorn men are like this – very guarded, career driven, focused, realistic and logical. They are the ones to catch you in a lie within 30 seconds – so you might as well not even bother.

    Many other comments above are correct – give them space, time and they can eventually become the best friends you could ever ask for. They do tell it like it is, and they are afraid of losing something special, especially if it is something they worked very hard to attain (and that may be you!).

    Love them, nurture them, and show them they are the only man for you – and they’ll be sure to let you now that you’re the only girl for them!

  9. OMG! This is too crazy to read. I am going through the same exact thing with my Cap. All this time I just thought that I was crazy that I fell for a guy like this. And that I am really playing the fool this time. Its like he is a drug to me and I am definately addicted. I have been on and off with him for about eight months or so now. When we are together it seems like magic. Everything is just so perfect. We are very affectionate and seem like hubby and wife. We will chat about each others day and life for one or two days after then he goes into his dry spell. No call. No nothing. I go crazy. But of course being the Virgo woman that i am, I dont show him that i dont keep my cool. I would send him texts everytime I think about him here and there (youre the one, hey sexy, etc.) and eventually he will respond like we talked everyday since lol. I just thought for a moment that he had someone else on his mind but he always make it clear that Im the one for him. And I would think he was full of BS! But didnt care anyways because he is just so dreamy. Well now it all makes sense. He actually tells me what he goes through on a daily basis of life with work and his two children and I just think I wasnt listening. Sometimes us Virgos get caught up in our own emotions, ya know. Now that Im realizing that he is really telling the truth reading these stories I will definately stick with him. He is the one. Even though he doesnt give me everything that i want (I was spoiled growing up) i still respect his person and what he is trying to do for hisself and his family so Im going to go ahead and keep giving him his chances.

  10. marcella says:

    i too have met and fallen for a cap guy, im a virgo….we met and sadly had sex on the same night….which was great, save for all the humiliating things, and the ordering around…but he’s really passionate and we just hit it off, like we’d known each other so long. Then he went quiet for like 3 weeks, i tried calling and he was cold on the phone. i felt stupid and didnt push it…later he finally called and wanted us to go for a night out, and he finally cancelled that last minute because of a family dinner, and didne call again like 3 more weeks. when he finally callled, i ignored his calls and upon this he persisted even more till he got me, and said how he likes me alot and i should give us a chance, i still think he has someone else though….we just went for a weekend away, which was super coz we connected soo good, am now waiting to see if he’ll call again…..and more important when…

  11. I need help please. I am a virgo woman and I met a capri man. He calls me everyday if I don’t call him and he shows genuine interest in me. We hang out practically eveyday but at times it seems like he prefers his family over me. We are intimate but he won’t commit his excuse was dat he is trying to sort his car out first before any relationship. I want him to commit to me now, any suggestions?

  12. niikz…not sure if you are still dealing with the same capricorn but i’ll respond anyway. i’m a virgo & have been seeing a capricorn for about 6 months. you cannot push a capricorn man into a commitment. they will only do it when it is time & when they are ready. my capricorn sounds a lot like yours. he calls me just about everyday, we talk about work, children, famiy, goals, friends…you name it. basically we are in a relationship without the label of being in a relationship. if you want it to work with him, you do have to be willing to accept that for a while. he obviously has strong feelings for you if he is calling you that often. mine is the same way & his family does come first for right now & i respect that. if i ever become his family, i know i too will come first. :) they can’t give emotionally in a relationship unless outside issues are dealt with. patience is key with them & us virgos have a lot of patience. just don’t let your insecurities get the best of you. he wouldn’t call you all the time if he wasn’t interested.

  13. ohkay i met a caprii && the way i met him was interestin . my friends & i was walking nd his friend pull by ask where are we going . we said the place & they said come on we going too take you . when we took my friends . i was the only one that had to go back . he was in the front & asked me why i got in, i told him my response . nd all of us started talking abot life & goals until i got home. he called me the next day . i went to his house 2 days later, & we had sex . i felt bad because as a virgo women i thought it was too fast. we spoke threw aim & the phone . i called alot & so did he . until i went to his house the 2nd time & we had sex again. then he just disapear . i got so angry & confused . when he showed up again like 4 or 5 days later . he told me he didnt wanna led me on . that he doesnt want too commit . i told him i understand & i do . but i want to have a relationship now . nd i just dont understand if too like stop having sex with him & just kinda of advoid him . or keep being with him & have a relationship with no label , but then theres something about him that i just cant let go . i feel as if im going too go crazy .

  14. I am a Capricorn Woman, and am madly in love with my Virgo.
    Its insane how many times I have read in people’s comments how it feels as if they have known eachother for years, and this is exactly true for me as well. There seems to be this deep, undeniable, and rich understanding of the other’s mind, body and soul.
    I have gotten serious with a few men before, but never have I felt such a great respect for any man. He seems to understand me in ways I didn’t know anyone could possibly understand, and within a short period of time as well. Upon reading many compatibility websites on this pair, I believe every Capricorn and Virgo should come together!!
    Capricorns function in two ways: their public image, and their private one. Many people never being invited into this private, personal identification of self (I would know, I’m a cap!), and one of the qualities I find that Virgo possesses is the instinct to unravel this inner self, in a very beautiful way. My virgo understands me so deeply that I feel more confident in expressing my inner being.
    From all the above posts, I can see how some Capricorn men would have difficulty in expressing themselves, however if there was any advice I could give, I’d tell all the Virgo women to have confidence and faith in us Caps! We crave that instinctive understanding that we know you Virgos have.

    I’ve never been more in love in my entire life, and my Virgo man has obviously played a crucial role in not only helping me find this love, but also helping me refine what I always believed love was. Now I see love as a mutual partnership of equals, an unmistakable depth and understanding of one another, that can be reached only through an explicit, long-lasting friendship.
    I’m going to marry my Virgo. <3

  15. Well all of these posts have been very interesting. I’m a Virgo woman involved with a Capricorn man going on & off for 10 mths now. It is very confusing with them because it’s true they do this disappearing act after having a fabulous intimate time together. I’m seeing now it’s just how Caps are. This one however doesn’t really fit the loyalty bill that is described about Caps. He was married and now divorced with a son and supposedly he’s still hurt over the marriage ending which was 6 yrs ago. So people who know him say that may be why he sleeps around and he proclaims that he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and his son. He can be a jerk but get him alone and he’s like the perfect boyfriend although we aren’t in a serious relationship. I really want to be his only girl and he knows. I’ve even told him if he wants to end things with me he could just say so and it wont hurt me. He never takes this option. He suddenly want to see me. I don’t get it. Is there a profile for the negative side of a Capricorn man and how they act?

  16. Pisces Queen says:

    @Kp

    ThaeCapricorns that I have known of always have like one love that they usually mess up and spend their lives then running thru women until their ex takes them back or, if the ex doesnt, they rarely fall in love again but will be in a relationship with someone just for stability not necessarily for monogamy. So yes, cap men can appear to be the perfect husbands on the face and the worst husbands outside the house…lol…Muhammad Ali is a cap male and he is a prime example….

  17. Virgo Girl says:

    I am extremely interested in this guy I work with, who is a Capricorn. I am a Virgo and keep looking for signs that he may be interested also. I haven’t come right out and told him, because I don’t want to be rejected. I have asked him to come out with a few of us from work, and he said no, “b/c he like’s to be home by 8″. Then come to find out from some co workers, he never goes out with them. So I feel like sometimes he is interested and sometimes not. He is soooo hard to figure out. But when were alone like in the break room or something, he asks me about my personal life and vice versa. I know it isnt always the best thing to get involved with a co worker, but he is just so yummy! I need advice! Should I just let my crush go? Or should I bring up doing something alone or just how to really get his attention…

  18. I am a Virgo women and I been knowing this Capricorn guy for about three years now. I really like him but I am not sure if he likes me. We have got into it twice because of what people was saying about him to me and I was listening. It seems like every 6 months we start talking again. I have asked him if he did like me and he said if I didn’t I would of never approached you he also said he say’s what he means and mean’s what he says. Every time we hang out it is a good connection and it feels like we go out. When he comes over he likes, to spend time with my family he is very respectful and I really think I am falling for him. What should I do should I continue to be friends and just wait to see what happens or should I just move on any Ideas?

  19. I met this capri guy online and in real. He told me he really has fallen in love with me and that I am like his soulmate. At first I wasn’t interested at all but he pursued me. Then on Valentine day, he sent me a message saying that he loved me so much then he disappeared only to contact me again after 3 months. This time he chatted with me online and confessed he missed me and really loved me. Then we met and on the second date we made love. He was so loving and affectionate to me. He then told me that he was going to be very busy. After the intimate encounter, he disappeared again for almost 3 weeks. He didn’t call or text or email. When I sent him messages, he didn’t reply to me although we were online almost the same time. But suddenly he sent me nude pics on my social networking. I was surprised and prompted me to send him a text to know why he had sent the nude pics to me because I thought it was disrespectful. Instead of texting me back, he called me immediately and apologized for the nude pics. His reason was he thought it was romantic. Then he said he misses me, love me very much and want me to visit him over the weekend. I said I think about it. He also told me he is busy again but would like to come to my place for weekend visit. When I asked him when he would like to come, he said it up to me when i want him to come. I don’t know whether he really loves me or not. I just couldn’t handle his not responding to text or messages and his no call attitude. Do you think I should believe him when he said he love me or should I just move on?

  20. Indigo Girl says:

    OMG!!! I’m going through the same thing! Virgo girl here very interested in a Capricorn guy. Never in my entire life of dating had I experienced so many ups and downs and we’re not even in a relationship. I’m 30 and he’s 27. I can tell we liked one another the same day we met. It’s been almost 3 months now. I haven’t had sex with him although he’s extremely sexual and lets me know he wants to every chance he gets. He’s driving me crazy with the hot and cold attitude. He comes off as a womanizer and is extremely jealous. Why am still so interested in him is beyond me!!! Usually, when I notice guys are players it’s an immediate turn off for me. It’s so different with him. I’m addicted to him, even though I don’t show it. I try to seem very casual around him. We tend to exchange a few words a day through msn chat. I can tell he prefers that I contact him and I don’t. So, he will contact me after a day or so. I’m so drawn to him…why???!!! I have told him twice in midsts of arguments that we should just forget this whole thing because we’re just not understanding one another. He laughs it off. Then he’ll message me asking if I’m really gonna stop talking to him. Honestly, if he wants to just sleep with me I’m seriously considering just doing it since I really want to too. Then, hopefully, he’ll dissapear forever. Off course deeply I really don’t want that. I wish it would work. All of my friends tell me to let him go. To put a stop it now. I just can’t seem to want to do that. There are other guys interested in me and I only have eyes for him. Guys that I know would treat me better and offer me more. Anyways, just needed to vent. In general, I’m just happy to see I’m not the only Virgo girl struggeling with a Capricorn guy. I say after this, no more Capricorns in my love life please God!!!

  21. Virgo Gal says:

    I am a virgo and I am experiencing the same like you all….I have known this Capricorn guy for 4 months now and i regret the day I met him. I met him on Face book and our first few weeks of meeting was like a dream come true and suddenly he disappeared. I texted him so many times called him and he wud hang up saying his busy. After a while i stopped and then one day he calls me at work and then disappears again. If i ask him questions, he says I pressure him a lot. I don’t understand him at all and am starting to hate him.

  22. Hahaa omgawd this is so funny .. da 1st tym i saw my cap it wz lyk luv at 1st syt .. he didnt no me bt afta a year he gt 2no me .. i found out he has a girlfrend n cnfrntd him bt we stil spke den he stpd tlkin me .. nw nw afta 7months he calld me :l he is soo difficult 2 umdastnd n i dnt nw hw 2 pleasee,him n mke him mynn i dnt evn no if he likez me cz he nva sayss nythingg like dat .. im a virgo so i nva show hw mch im deeply in luv wd him,bt i tink e noezz..i wd neva go 2such xtreme wd a guy i wd jus 4gt n nt g8v a crap bt itz been 2years dt iv lykd him 4 sumtymz i jus dnt no!

  23. N sumtymz i wish it wud hv been better if i neva met himm! Evrytim i try 2 4gt he alwayz cmz bakk! So difficultt especially as he h!as a girlfrend but if he realy luvd her.. why wud he ov mde da effort. 2 cntct me afta sch a long tym.. :/ i think he wntz 2let go ov his gf bt cz he has nyc heart he dnt wna hurt her so he dnt

  24. why other people makes their language/words compilcated??i dnt get any point or sense of that…sorry to say this but cant help my self not to say it…

  25. my friend and i BOTH fell for Capricorns.
    i fell for mine first, so when she came to me later with the same problems…
    i knew it was all about his sign.

    the first Capricorn i met –
    i liked him for five years. FIVE YEARS!
    oh, my middle and high school days… years? haha
    it was off and on, and we would always go back and forth every year. i was young and awkward. he was older and experienced. we were attracted to each other, but he had A LOT of other girls. i definitely wanted him more than he wanted me. i asked him out (finally), and then he STOOD ME UP. he LIED to my face, as well, afterwards.
    then, he started to LIKE me when i finally let him go.
    needless to say, i learned A LOT from him…

    the second Capricorn i met -
    i like him for three years… THREE YEARS?
    i’m getting better!^^
    i saw him on Facebook, thought he was GORGEOUS. we met in person, but it didn’t work out.
    later, RANDOMLY, he asks for my number from a friend and called me. he wanted to go to SXSW (a concert) with me. it was AMAZING. we talked for hours about everything. i cried when i got home, knowing a day like that might never come again. and, he disappeared.
    then, i saw him again.
    i wanted to end things between us, but i couldn’t. (Virgo, NEED CONSISTENCY!)
    seeing him always made up for the times that he had been away. still, i put distance between us. he was annoyed when i finally came back… and then, things changed between us. he began to push for a relationship, even though i knew he didn’t love me.
    i really fell for him after he ended up with someone else (again).
    in the end, he really drove me crazy, because i knew i could never have all of him. i fought with him, especially after i began to realize that i LOVED him. (yes, my first love!^^).
    one day, this year, i yelled at him saying i don’t know who you are. he told me, yes you do. &he calmly, rationally, and logically explained why he had done what he had done.
    at that moment, he became someone precious to me, because he proved to me that he was worth loving. <3

    in the end, we have never been able to go our separate ways.
    most recently, he began to date someone else (secretly). then, he told me that i could never replace him. a week later, i drunk text-ed him, FINALLY DOING WHAT I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER DO EVEN THOUGH I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HONEST TO HIM! – i told him that he is my first love, and that i would never see him again… (in drunk text speak)
    he said, ill see you tomorrow.

    and like that, the Capricorn man can be devoted… and distant… everything… and nothing.
    i gave up my love for him so that i could keep him in my life, as well as be happy for him – as well as find my own happiness.
    it was a hard decision, one i will never regret~

  26. Virgo Gal says:

    hahaha…..I am trying to get over him and he calls me out of teh blue and says he wants to me and i was like “HELL NO” and he goes only for 5 min but I didnt meet him. and he keeps calling and i told him off and am sure he’ll definitely call again…..i tell u what Capricorn man r sick people. They not sure waht they want in life

  27. I just started dating a (24) Cap man (born year of Tiger) and I am a (28) Virgo female (born year of Dog). We worked together 2 years ago I always felt he was weird and didn’t know what he wanted. However, every once in a while he would throw me a pick-up lines but I never took him seriously. Now lets fast forward. For the past 6 months he has been leaving me flirty messages on facebook and I just rub them off by saying” You can’t be serious lol.” Till he sent me a private message saying he was totally interested in me and would like to take me out. I agreed to it since I have been casually dating a libra man but with my advice of my friends I haven’t called him in like 2 weeks because I don’t think he takes me seriously. So i’m trying to wait things out with my Libra guy to see if he notices i’m not attemping to call him anymore. So, with the advice of my Cap sis, I decided to give the Cap man a chance. However, I’m really not comfortable with the Cap guy because I have this image of him from when we worked together as this weird guy with horny pick up lines. Lol. On our date he was a bit shy and I started most of the conversation. When we got back to the car he talk about we should go somewhere and possibly talk one on one. Once we arrived at the park we talked but I just felt like we were old work buddies hangout for the night. Now I find myself thinking about my (24) libra man (born year of the Tiger) and waiting & wanting to call him but I promise I will wait to see if he calls me back first. What is a girl to do? Should I try to warm up to the Cap man since in the Astrology world we are a better match? Or just hang it all up and try dating another time?

  28. virgo in love says:

    I think I’m in love with a capricorn man and i’ll do everything i can to get him

  29. Dreamy virgo says:

    Hello ladies ! It amazes me that you all are going through the exact same things as I with my ex capricorn & current cap. I must say these men knows how to get what they want. They are such a challenge so you can’t fall for them emotionally. It’ll hurt like h*ll. I dated a cap for 3 years and his heart is huge but cold and extremely rough around the edges. Its like a what can you do for me to help me and my future thing with him. My ex was extremely dinstant and selfish. And I said I wouldn’t fall for another but I did…this new cap is distant too. He says he is so in love but I haven’t seen him in a week. He use to make time for me and now he doesn’t. Once I brought that to his attention he said that he has too much to worry about and deal with at work and I’m not making it better. So I changed the subject and gave him his space. I think I ruined us with my insecurties because he is still mia . I’m at the point where I’m trying to fall out of this deep feeling I wouldn’t call love and keep this fun,shallow and simple for us. Hopefully that’ll make me think clearly. I’m 21 he is 40. And my ex cap is 26. Don’t judge me. Good luck !

  30. Capricorns are Cold they have no Sense of Humour and they are very Complex.!!!

    Just give them a Miss unless you enjoy the Drama they create which is their idea of
    Fun because they have nothing better to do with their time which revolves around their
    personal needs which consist of such trivial pursuits that are not worth mentioning or
    bothering about.!!!

    Cheers and keep smiling. Taurus

  31. Haha… oh wow, here’s an obvious answer – just ASK for help if you want any. Capricorns are workers, too, so just ASK for help! And what is this Capricorns are cold and boring non-sense? They’re a modest sign, just like Virgo and Taurus, but they’re not dead on the inside. There’s a method to everyone’s madness, but if a Virgo wants them to do something…. ever think of asking? Ever think of selling your idea? It’s not that hard. I have a capricorn venus and a virgo moon. I’ve dated both Capricorns and Virgos… it’s seriously all about asking. Sheesh

  32. hi, I haven’t talked to my cap in 4 months. I have text him every now and again to just update him and just be silly or light hearted with him. we were intensely in love for 4 months. I am a Virgo, and have a hard time with commitment. no matter how bad I want it, I will somehow sabotage myself when I know commitment is real and serious, and I did it with my cap. He lives far away, but we talked and texted everyday and nite for 4 months. Anyway I just wanted to know if a cap would still read your text, if he is not talking to you. I text him maybe every couple weeks, and told him all he has to do is tell me to stop and I will, but he has never said stop. I amjust trying to keep him posted on what’s going on in life and send him quotes from time to time. trying to maybe rebuild his trust for me, and let him know I will always be here for him. any advice???

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