Cancer woman loves passive Pisces man: Should she continue pursuing him?

Pisces Mania provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

i met this pisces male who is eight years my junior and he is from another country to boot. love at first sight and despite our language difficulties we connected on a spiritual, emotional, physical and psychic level. never experienced this type of relationship before. but he confuses the heck out of me.
i could tell from his nervousness and sweaty hands that he was really into me but then he’d ignore my phone calls for several weeks only to call me out of the blue and ask why i didn’t call more? the last time there was two months in between our inneraction (because he stopped returning my calls, i refused to keep trying) but curiosity got the best of me and i called. he got in touch a week later and came over. greeted me with the most passionate kiss ever and asked again why i didn’t call more and that he was “waiting” for me. it’s like he doesn’t even realize he is the one being distant or perhaps he’s good at lying. so, it’s now been a month since we last saw one another and i left a message several weeks ago telling him i missed him and would like to spend more time together. of course, no response and i’m ready to walk away. is this typical pisces behavior? have read pisces are indecisive and live in their own world. how do i know to stick it out and fight the good fight or stop fooling myself? help! i’m hopelessly in love with this strange creature….

Stop fooling yourself. It sounds like this Pisces man wants you to be in the driver’s seat, yet he won’t even get in the car with you. You leave frequent messages, and he complains you don’t call more … plus he rarely responds. I don’t care how much you love him … he’s not living up to his part of the deal. However much his feelings for you are reciprocated, his near-total passivity — for which Pisces gets a bad rap — is a deal-breaker.

You have Venus in Taurus in your Seventh House. Stability and a feeling of being valued are necessary for you to have a satisfying relationship — neither of which this Pisces man is offering. You also have transiting Uranus — planet of awakening and sudden change — transiting your natal Jupiter in Pisces. This planet may signify your Pisces man, as Jupiter represents people from foreign lands, and it is in his sign. This transit — which ends February of next year — indicates a lack of any stability with regards to him. He may come in and out of your life with no predictable frequency. Do you want that?

You currently have the opportunity (Jupiter) to build a dream (Pisces) home or home life (Fourth House), which can help provide you a sense of security (Jupiter rules your Second House). I’d suggest you put your energies into bringing the best of Pisces into your life … not the worst.

Comment below: Share your experiences with passive Pisces men or women, or give Pisces Mania some feedback.

 

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Mr. Fishy says:

    Okay, okay, okay.

    Here I am shaking.

    Grrr, darn emotional problems!

    I had to send her an email because I just can’t take it anymore.

    Here is what I wrote:

    Dear XXXXX,

    Listen, I know that you are married and I probably should not be writing you.

    However, I am leaving for Afghanistan very soon and wanted to let you know that I do not have any ill feelings toward you or anyone for that matter. While I am healing from our relationship’s ending, I want you to know that I don’t blame you for anything.

    Evidently, we were not supposed to be together forever, and I accept that as it is.

    I honestly wish you happiness and success in your marriage and beyond, and will be praying for you in the coming years.

    Again, I don’t really know what else to say, other than goodbye and God Bless you.

    – XXXXX

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wftbahypdAA

  2. Mr. Fishy, i stopped talking to a pisces man for well over a year due to i felt he led me on by flirting and actually calling to see if he had a chance with me and when i ddn’t want to go out with him latter 3 conversations later he wanted to be friends. which set me off due to he seemed he wanted more than friends. however i no longer speak with him. But i still miss and think of him and hope he is ok. It’s interesting how pisces and cancers think so much alike. I’ve went thru a time i was reading about cancer pisces couples. James taylor did go to carly when she had breast cancer they were divorced but he took care of her. And i love the movie Walk the Line since johnny cash pisces and june carter cancer had such a strong love. Terry erwin and the crocodile guy pisces cancer also. I would love to see jessica simpson and julianna hough both cancer women with pisces males. LIZ taylor pisces was in love with MIKE TODD CANCER of course she loved burton the most i believe he was a scorpio. Also i read dianne carrolls book and she was in love with sidney poiter a pisces i know i spelled his name wrong. Interesting stories.

  3. mr. Fishy says:

    Trinity,

    stay up with me. i want to respond now.

  4. mr. Fishy says:

    trinity,

    okay. For the pisces boy who wanted you to be his girlfriend, why did you resist him? Did yu not love him or were you recovering from a broken heart?

  5. Cancer girl says:

    HI!
    Just want to share my story. Im a cancer, July 6, 1970 and the Piscis guy a March 15, 1970. I have never felt so close in mind and sould to a person before. We really hit it off from day 1. In almost 2 months e-correspondance, texting and phone calls several times a day, we only met once. We had a distance issue and a job with night shift and the fact that he had his music and the jobs this craved too. Still we kept in constant comunication. Then from one day to the other, as he explained he could not feel it anymore. It was like unplugging. We had a long talk regarding the issue on why and what then. I know he was being honest with me.It was not me or another girl but that because of the distance and his 2 jobs he could just not see any perspective in the relationship. We agreed to stay in touch and visit each other if we happened to be nearby.
    I just hope so much he can plug back his feelings. It really felt like this was meant to be as he expressed it himslef.
    Is there any chance it happens? This guy is grown inside me, just like his songs…
    Any hope? I will miss him and the connection we had. I felt so natural and effortless..

  6. leo female says:

    Mr. Fishy-

    I can’t transfer. I am the only person in my orgabization who does what I do and it is only done out of the corporate office. So I am stuck here. But thanks for the advice.

    Yes, it is very difficult trying to remove these people from our consciousness. I think I am there but I see him and it all floods back. Ugh…..

  7. leo female says:

    Mr. Fishy-

    Just saw your letter above. Did you send?

    What is your purpose in sending that? As someone who is in your shoes I have thought about writing a letter (I know, I see him at work but somehow a letter seems to make more of an impression) but have stopped myself because I don’t see the point. I guess what I am trying to say, is if it gives you closure then go for it. If you are expecting anything from your Cancer I wouldn’t hold your breath.

    Hugs…..

  8. Cancer girl says:

    DEAR MR.FISHY

    Please give me some of your words of wisdom!
    Is there any chance to light this fish spark?
    What can I do?
    We just became facebook friends, so he is interested in continuing a the communication open and as I metioned before he mede me promise to keep in touch and let him know if he was nearby which he will do as well.
    HELP A BROKEN HEARTED!
    Thanks!

  9. Mr. Fishy says:

    Lioness,

    I am terribly sorry that you cannot get away from him.

    If it gets to be too much, is there any way you could find a similar job and start over at another office?

    Did you try google with regard to search words: “Co-worker ex-boyfriend problems.”

    The web may offer advice and insight to this.

    Cancer Girl,

    I am going to answer you next, but I need some time to get an appropriate response.

  10. Mr. Fishy says:

    Cancer Girl,

    I am happy that the two of you are facebook friends.

    How far apart are you two.

    Since you are both in the 40 year old category, it is fair to say that you are both grown ups about life and relationships.

    I think you should send him a message asking him what he’s up to, and see if you can meet.

    If he doesn’t respond, put a photo up of you and one of your guy friends.

    That little bit of jealousy may trigger his interest in you.

    Good luck, and please keep in touch.

  11. Cancer girl says:

    Mr. Fishy,

    Thanks for the fast reply.
    We are about 1½ hour drive appart.
    I guess I’ll have to wait some time before I start the contact again. This happened just last week.
    Hmm experience in life yes but for questions of the hearts we are all new begginers every time, arent we? :o)
    I can take as I lost a guy but won a friend, not in the order i would have prefer but…
    Do you think a Pisces comes back to a cancer girl?
    I will just go on hoping… :o)
    Thanks again!

  12. Mr. Fishy says:

    Cancer Girl,

    It really depends on the mental and emotional maturity of the Pisces man.

    It also depends on if the separation between the Crab and the Fish was peaceful or hostile.

    If it was a peaceful separation, IE she goes her way and I go mine, then it will probably be alright if you start talking again.

    Try not to get your hopes too high, though. This will insulate you from heartbreak if something goes wrong. As I often say, you must expect the absolute worst while hoping for the best. Do you know what I mean?

    The photo of you and your friend might work, but you have to time it carefully.

    Oh, and appear to be busy. Don’t send him any messages on the weekend. Even if you don’t go out and about, don’t let him get the impression that you played on Facebook on the weekend.

    Make him think that you were out shopping or having fun with your friends or something.

  13. Cancer girl says:

    Dearest Mr.Fish,
    You have no idea how happy I am for your comments!
    Well it ended as too friends. We promised to keep in touch and text or call and update each other. It was very clear that the communicition didnt have to end.
    As for how emotioanlly mature he is, well enough to find out this was not working for him and to take the time to call me and speak for 1½ hour about why among other things.

    I will try to keep my hopes low as you wisely say and remeber the good tips!

    Now, because we are still “friends”, could it be a possibility that the spark lightens up in him again? Is it only me feeling the conection we had?

    I guess Im doing the crab thing, refusing to let go!

    Thanking you again!

  14. CrabsCareLoL says:

    Dear Mr. Fishy
    I have read all of these posts like yourself and at moments I thought I was listening to my own relationships. All of it seems so close to home. Not that I want all of you to be in the same mental agony I have been through, it’s just slightly relieving that I might not be alone in this struggle to let go. Don’t get me wrong in between the two Pisces men I had a few flings and none of them were Pisces…they didn’t do anything for me, meaning there just wasn’t any type of depth or understanding and I dropped one after the other, because the intimate connection I seek simple didn’t exist.
    So, lets see, after 5 1/2 years of my first Piscean love, who was Decan I, I broke up with him harshly. See we had crazy people issues- he cheated on me, and then I cheated on him. Both one time things, only he got possessive, controlling and mentally abusive with me. He always made me out to be the bad one and every argument led to my infidelity. He denied his own and acted as if it were “different”. I met a very independent girl who has become my soulmate as far as friendships go. She helped me to realize I had to leave, but it did take some time. I tried a few times, but each time I pitied him and felt for him, till I finally broke it off in 2008. He got with an obnoxious girl a few months later and I got confused haha so we ended up talking at the end of 2008 and his way of comforting me was to make me think it was okay to get intimate. It was all a huge mistake and there was just too much hurt for both of us to do it all over again, so it officially ended at the start of 2009. I don’t care about him anymore, because I don’t like most of who he is. I think what hurts me the most, is that he wanted to change me and he might never see how truly amazing I am. He sent me an email as well as a text last August and it just disgusted me-he has such a lack of respect and understanding for me. It was over, especially since I was sort of still with my new football pisces, a Decan III. I literally met him a couple months after the relapse with my ex. He was so fascinated with me, but I was still in shock. So, I wonder if he saw that I wasn’t as ready as he was to be together. I mean at one point he cried a bit when he was telling me how strong his feelings were for me, but I was slightly numbed from the previous trauma I had undergone and I was also in a protective mode. I felt his depth and it was more intense than my first connection with a pisces. He was a dreamer to the fullest and what I enjoyed most about him was how relaxed he made me feel. This was a soul that I had been seeking all of my life and I couldn’t fall as fast as he was falling for me. There are so many reasons to why things do not work, but my crushing question is do they feel the intense agony of separation that you or I do? Yes, when they are alone-I witnessed it in both of them, but once they move on to another, do they simple forget like James Taylor or does it take effort to ignore us?
    Being single has helped me to realize that I did not pursue either of these men, I only attracted them and therefore perhaps I never needed them. Yet, because I am so mysterious myself I can only become more curious with the male Pisces who has so many adventurous outlets and intelligent theories to explore. Up front they show you their laid back attitude, they’re eagerness to boldly jump into something new with you, their sensual capabilities and brightly flaming spirit, they’re even more astonishing interest in you, to their humble reggae music, their ability to enjoy so many types of people and interests, and playful flirtations and charming tantalizations. But as much of that good these two men had, they had bad and it has led me to an acute disappointment.
    It’s a bittersweet memory, and I too have those dreams, mostly nightmares, but once I ate some starburst candies before bed, which I never have, and I had the most magical dream about the last one. We were lost in each other’s embrace,dancing and dreaming about all the things we wanted to do and see together to the point of forgetting our surrounding and obligations to the world.
    Then there are the moments in which you feel as though someone is thinking very hard about you. There have been times where I have tried to block those instances, I may sound crazy but I’ve even said aloud “stop thinking about me” and to my surprise the feeling faded away. More often than not though, it is me that has to work to forcing thoughts of them away. When I read it over, it sounds so devastating, but is it better to pretend like James Taylor…not so much.

  15. Mr. Fishy says:

    Cancer Girl,

    The pleasure is mine. I really do hope that things work out for you, but let’s just keep the hopes low until an opportunity presents itself.

    Hopefully things will work out for you.

    I have actually been sleeping better lately, because I finally got closure from my ex-girlfriend (cancer).

    I emailed her to tell her about my upcoming deployment, and that I didn’t harbor any ill feelings toward her over our break-up. In her response, she subtly indicated that she is not happy in her marriage, nor is she happy where he has forced her to live. It’s a really sad state of affairs for her, and I wrote back to her that I sensed that she is miserable. I also wrote that I will be praying for her, and she has not since written back. My theory is that she is very upset not only in her marriage, but she is also probably upset that I am fully aware of her problem. Rather than be cruel or rude about all of this, I decided to have mercy on her and assure her that I hope things work out. I honestly do hope this, but I really doubt it’s going to work. Afterall, who in their right mind would want to remain married to a tyrant?

    Crabscare,

    The fact that he was controlling and emotionally absuive with you is terrible. It’s a good thing that you got out of that bad relationship.

    The Decan I (5.5 years) was really bad for you since he was cheating on you. Really sorry that he did this, but that was your chance to get away from him then and there. While I sense that you were not a fan of terminating the relationship, I tend to have the same problem as well. When mine was messing around with that capricorn in summer 2008, I should have cut all ties with her also. But, stupid me took her back in the fall of 2008 to try to save the relationship. She went back to him that December, and married him 10 months later. However, she is extremely miserable in her situation, and get this: Her family does NOT like him at all. There are some things in this world that are simply not pursuing, and a life with her is most certainly one of them.

    I see that you are attracted to the charm of Pisces, and that is a good thing so long as he is emotionally honest with you and not too ambiguous. Deception will end up hurting you, so please be careful whenever starting anew with one.

    The whole James Taylor-Carly Simon problem got out of control when he was doing heroin and heavy drugs while she was home with their children. I honestly don’t blame her for being upset with him for the drugs, as no mother in her right mind would tolerate that kind of thing around a family. But I have to wonder why in the heck they didn’t get back together again once he was off the drugs forever. Makes me wonder why he got into them in the first place, and now he is married to an ice-cold capricorn woman, I am certain he regrets just about everything he did to mess up the marriage with Carly.

    Oh well, what can we do, right?

    The crushing agony that you experienced at the end of the relationship with Pisces is because of the powerful psychological, emotional and mental connection being destroyed. It’s akin to having your right arm ripped off, and it’s just so brutally painful to deal with. It took me 18 months, but I am finally starting to have normal sleep again and have dreams that are pleasant.

    I am actually waking up with an erection again for the first time in forever, hahaha!! Okay, I shouldn’t have said that, sorry! 🙂

    Anyway, if the Decan III fish was a soul with depth, then what is the latest?

    When was the last time you talked to him, and do you two live near by each other?

  16. CrabsCareLoL says:

    Mr. Fishy,
    Thank you,
    No worries on the waking up happy haha-that signifies that you are ready to feel better!
    I find it interesting that your situation is very similar to mine in the fact that her family doesn’t want that guy around, probably because they saw that you were the best thing for her, and they must have truly enjoyed your presence. It is the same for me, in fact I had to ignore his family on many occasions because, it would bring me to think about him. His mother still calls me to talk every once in awhile, she always mentions how the family misses me and that they love me. I was practically living there for the last 2.5 years of our relationship. So, when I broke it off, he said I was betraying his family haha can you believe that! I had not done anything to them and I sent them a holiday card as they sent me a b-day card. His mother says that they never felt that way and completely agrees with the choice that she too knew I had to make. Besides his controlling issues, he was quitting job after job-he did electrical work, he started gambling when he turned 21-texas holdem’, and he smoked more marijuana each day… he was no longer a man I had once admired. I talked to his mother about three months ago and she said that there is not a week that goes by without my name being said in that family… and they want nothing to do with the new girl he is dating. She is a complete loser that snorts cocaine and works for a marijuana clinic (exactly what he needs right). She has called to harass me before and sounds completely trashy, unintelligent and obnoxious. Even his younger sister is on my side, she loves her brother, but she hates that girl and she respects me for how I always treated her. But, I personally hope that they stay together because they deserve one another. The best thing I can say that came out of that relationship is that he gave me the experience to realize what I don’t want.

    As for the other, most of my stories about him are included in my other posts above, but we are not talking. He was in California when we met and got together. He left to his home in the summer to Detroit, MI, came back for the season and then was released after an injury. His family lives in Detroit, but he now works in New Orleans. However, when we got together, we started having issues with his ex who did her best to sabotage our relationship, which definitely sent me running. She flew from the east side to California to tell him she would kill herself if he stayed with me. He tried to get her help, and when I said I could no longer talk to him, he was upset. Even so, we talked over the summer long distance a bit and when he got back we spent time together, but I didn’t fully trust him, so it was hard. He got injured and was sent back home where he called me and texted me nearly everyday, but I was not as smitten with him as I was before things got complicated. I last talked to him at the end of November 2009. It is weird because he said he had so many thoughts about me. He wanted me to come out to Detroit (of course he would pay for my trip and all), but I told him it would be better if he made a trip out here since he had friends out here that wanted to see him too. He was making plans to come out, but he was asked to join a new team. And we just ended all contact from there. However, he did add me to his facebook a couple months back, but he has not contacted me. He seems to have moved on to another woman, do you think he wanted to make me jealous or something? Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted his friend request. I don’t long for him the same way anymore, because he hasn’t done anything productive enough to keep me. I’m looking forward to summer though, and I’ve got some admirers, so well see if any new sparks fly (:

    I’m also glad to hear you getting better, because I am too especially, because I was on birth control pills for all of this time and I decided to stop taking them. I’ve been off of them for 2 weeks now and I feel great! I feel way less emotional and more like my true self. F birth control- never again.

    I believe people come into our lives for them to teach us something about ourselves and the same goes for them. So even if it doesn’t work out, you most likely still learned something, whether it was good or bad.

    I know that if I start any type of relationship in the future, I will try to enjoy it while making the best balanced decisions based on what happened in my past relationships.

  17. Mr. Fishy says:

    Dear Crabscare,

    “Mr. Fishy,
    Thank you,
    No worries on the waking up happy haha-that signifies that you are ready to feel better!”

    That’s right! No more psychological disturbances that prevent my happiness. It’s a very liberating experience!

    “I find it interesting that your situation is very similar to mine in the fact that her family doesn’t want that guy around, probably because they saw that you were the best thing for her, and they must have truly enjoyed your presence. It is the same for me, in fact I had to ignore his family on many occasions because, it would bring me to think about him. His mother still calls me to talk every once in awhile, she always mentions how the family misses me and that they love me. I was practically living there for the last 2.5 years of our relationship. So, when I broke it off, he said I was betraying his family haha can you believe that! I had not done anything to them and I sent them a holiday card as they sent me a b-day card.”

    Oh, I know. Her mother and I stayed in touch for a bit, but we are in the process of wind-down because we both probably agree that it’s not necessary since her daughter married the psychopath, and I am on my own again. It’s okay, as I am really feeling better. But I know what you mean about the family getting upset at them for not being with you instead of druggie girl. I will call her “Drugsie” for short.

    “His mother says that they never felt that way and completely agrees with the choice that she too knew I had to make. Besides his controlling issues, he was quitting job after job-he did electrical work, he started gambling when he turned 21-texas holdem’, and he smoked more marijuana each day… he was no longer a man I had once admired. I talked to his mother about three months ago and she said that there is not a week that goes by without my name being said in that family… and they want nothing to do with the new girl he is dating. She is a complete loser that snorts cocaine and works for a marijuana clinic (exactly what he needs right). She has called to harass me before and sounds completely trashy, unintelligent and obnoxious.”

    What is it with Pisces men and drugs and wild women? I feel like such an oddball sometimes because I don’t want drugs or crazy women!

    “Even his younger sister is on my side, she loves her brother, but she hates that girl and she respects me for how I always treated her.”

    While I haven’t heard anything from her brother, I can only imagine that he probably feels the same as your sister. But again, there is not much we can do if our ex’s have gone completely nuts.

    “But, I personally hope that they stay together because they deserve one another.”

    Strange enough, I feel the same for mine. See, she was really mean to me sometimes, and I know that Sleazardo is very cold and emotionless to her. So, two meanies in the same household? Yikes. Don’t want to be part of that, I promise you!

    “The best thing I can say that came out of that relationship is that he gave me the experience to realize what I don’t want.”

    Agree 100 percent!

    “As for the other, most of my stories about him are included in my other posts above, but we are not talking. He was in California when we met and got together. He left to his home in the summer to Detroit, MI, came back for the season and then was released after an injury. His family lives in Detroit, but he now works in New Orleans. However, when we got together, we started having issues with his ex who did her best to sabotage our relationship, which definitely sent me running. She flew from the east side to California to tell him she would kill herself if he stayed with me”

    Yeah, you definitely needed to get out of there. He sounds like he was crazy with the drugs and stuff, and that psychotic ex-girlfriend would have made your life hell on earth. Seriously, what kind of nut says “I am gonna kill myself if you don’t stay with me.” What a looney toon!

    “He tried to get her help, and when I said I could no longer talk to him, he was upset. Even so, we talked over the summer long distance a bit and when he got back we spent time together, but I didn’t fully trust him, so it was hard. He got injured and was sent back home where he called me and texted me nearly everyday, but I was not as smitten with him as I was before things got complicated. I last talked to him at the end of November 2009. It is weird because he said he had so many thoughts about me. He wanted me to come out to Detroit (of course he would pay for my trip and all), but I told him it would be better if he made a trip out here since he had friends out here that wanted to see him too. He was making plans to come out, but he was asked to join a new team.”

    Yeah, it sounds like you needed to get away from him because of the radical behavior.

    You made the right choice.

    “And we just ended all contact from there. However, he did add me to his facebook a couple months back, but he has not contacted me. He seems to have moved on to another woman, do you think he wanted to make me jealous or something?”

    Probably. I wouldn’t let it get you down, since she is probably crazy to be with him.

    “Maybe I shouldn’t have accepted his friend request.”

    It’s okay, you can break it off if you feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t blame you.

    “I don’t long for him the same way anymore, because he hasn’t done anything productive enough to keep me. I’m looking forward to summer though, and I’ve got some admirers, so well see if any new sparks fly”

    That’s a good idea, so long as your emotions and inner psyche are free and clear of baggage. I had some baggage that I was trying to sort out, and wasn’t ready for a relationship for about 18 months, so I know what you mean.

    “I’m also glad to hear you getting better, because I am too especially, because I was on birth control pills for all of this time and I decided to stop taking them. I’ve been off of them for 2 weeks now and I feel great! I feel way less emotional and more like my true self. F birth control- never again.”

    You are so funny. Want to hear a story? When my parents first got married, Mom started taking birth control pills because Dad didn’t have enough money to have a baby yet. But the pills were making my Mom very sick, so he told her to stop taking them! Soooo, they had me around 18 months into their marriage! Crab girls have sensitive stomachs, so I understand why ya’ll don’t want to take the pills!

    “I believe people come into our lives for them to teach us something about ourselves and the same goes for them. So even if it doesn’t work out, you most likely still learned something, whether it was good or bad.”

    A-freaking-men to that. Amen, amen, amen!

    “I know that if I start any type of relationship in the future, I will try to enjoy it while making the best balanced decisions based on what happened in my past relationships.”

    That’s right!!!!!

  18. CrabsCareLoL says:

    Mr. Fishy
    You are really so sweet (: Thank you for all of you replies, all of the comments on this page have really opened my eyes and I can see that from my very first comment to my last I have gotten through something. I like reading about astrology, so I felt lucky to come across this page because it was the exact problem that I was hurting from. Now, I am so far away from those sad heart wrenching feelings, it’s almost as if they didn’t exist. It’s no longer in the front of my mind, it’s sitting in the back waiting to be used as a resource for new problems to come haha.

    and yea..the birth control, that stuff changes your hormones. I am pretty much a naturalist when it comes to taking medications, but I never thought birth control could mess you up so bad until I was questioning my own sanity (of course privately hah). It’s as if I was going through the motions for a 7 year trip and now I can really be here the way I am supposed to be. It’s relieving!

  19. Snippity Snapperz says:

    Mr. Fishy/Fish,

    Good to hear that you are able to rise above and see how strong you really are.

    Do you think that your ex-gf will realize how much she hurt you and how her life has unraveled? I guess I just ask because there were a people I dated that hurt me and I wonder if they know the hurt they have caused? I mean I’m not perfect either, but I don’t purposely try to hurt others.

    I guess sometimes we just never know until we’re forced to face the issue at hand. I guess there’s a reason why people say to never run away from your problems because it will eventually catch up with you. Sometimes it takes awhile to have people see it.

    I’ve been getting close to my Pisces friend and I’ve learned a lot from him. He’s a caring and wonderful person. I really do think that Pisces and Cancers go together.. like bread and jam… it just takes time and patience. Don’t you think?

  20. For you pisces men, Find yourselves a nice scorpio woman. Perfect match.

  21. CrabsCareLoL says:

    True. Another beautiful match as is Scorpio and Cancer, but i believe these relationships still weigh on the value of trust and loyalty just like any other.

  22. Mr. Fishy says:

    Dear Snapperz,

    “Good to hear that you are able to rise above and see how strong you really are.”

    Thank you. Believe it or not, it actually takes a tour into a dangerous country to really put my life into total perspective. So far, it seems to be working out well for my ability to start the next chapter and get on with my life.

    “Do you think that your ex-gf will realize how much she hurt you and how her life has unraveled?”

    This is a difficult question. At least, the first part is, anyway. Okay, so it’s obvious that she did hurt me by jumping into this rebound marriage, and she has hurt hurself by marrying and having sex with someone that she doesn’t even love…. Yes, it is fair to say that she has really done some damage here to everyone, especially herself. Do I think she will ever realize how much pain she has brought to me? Yes, when she finally realizes that she cannot stay in this sham marriage anymore, and finally feels the anger, pain, depression, frustration and metaphysical sadness that I felt. She will eventually feel it, I am afraid, but I don’t know when. Her mother stated in her final letter to me that this sham of a marriage is supposedly the “will of God,” but how can something be the will of God if He wasn’t even consulted about it? That is akin to saying that I bought this brand new Porsche Roadster for myself, and it is the will of my wife to help me pay for it. How can I say that it was her will to buy the stupid car if I never even bothered to invite her into the discussion prior to purchase? I cannot show up with some intentionally decided life change on my hands and say that it is God’s will if I made forced and rash decisions without patience, consultation or advice.

    ” I guess I just ask because there were people I dated that hurt me and I wonder if they know the hurt they have caused? I mean I’m not perfect either, but I don’t purposely try to hurt others.”

    We both know that your ex-boyfriend is as miserable as my ex, and it is evidenced by the fact that he put up a very dated and even somewhat faded Facebook photo as his primary photo. He is clinging onto that one moment in his life that he was fooling himself into being happy, as that is the only moment of so-called happiness that he has with his rebound wife. Because he rebounded right into a marriage with a person he was never in love with or even close companions with, it is little wonder why he is most likely as miserable as my ex (or even more miserable).

    “I guess sometimes we just never know until we’re forced to face the issue at hand. I guess there’s a reason why people say to never run away from your problems because it will eventually catch up with you. Sometimes it takes awhile to have people see it.”

    Like you said, she is probably a late-reactor. She totally ran away from our problems while I was trying to solve them. Heck, I was so ready to salvage the relationship that at one point, I was even willing to change parts of my identity to make our lives easier, which I now realize was a foolish ploy. I have no doubt that ghosts from our relationship present themselves on a weekly basis to her, if not on a daily basis. There were a lot of things that she did not resolve like an adult before she ran away from our relationship.

    “I’ve been getting close to my Pisces friend and I’ve learned a lot from him. He’s a caring and wonderful person. I really do think that Pisces and Cancers go together.. like bread and jam… it just takes time and patience. Don’t you think?”

    Yes, I do. Such a nice thought, isn’t it? Not really a fan of Scorpios since they cannot cook and cannot take care of children better than a Crabby can.

  23. Mr. Fishy says:

    “Mr. Fishy,

    You are really so sweet (: Thank you for all of you replies, all of the comments on this page have really opened my eyes and I can see that from my very first comment to my last I have gotten through something.”

    Thank you. The feeling is mutual, I assure you.

    “I like reading about astrology, so I felt lucky to come across this page because it was the exact problem that I was hurting from. Now, I am so far away from those sad heart wrenching feelings, it’s almost as if they didn’t exist.”

    Well, it may go away for a while, but I think the memories will linger every now and again.

    “It’s no longer in the front of my mind, it’s sitting in the back waiting to be used as a resource for new problems to come haha.”

    Aw, I hope that you don’t have too many problems!

    “and yea..the birth control, that stuff changes your hormones. I am pretty much a naturalist when it comes to taking medications,”

    Me too, me too!

    “but I never thought birth control could mess you up so bad until I was questioning my own sanity (of course privately hah). It’s as if I was going through the motions for a 7 year trip and now I can really be here the way I am supposed to be. It’s relieving!”

    Oh really? Perhaps I should try some out then? Hehe!

  24. Mr. Fishy says:

    Wow, this thread died pretty fast.

    Ah, well.

  25. CrabsCareLOL says:

    A song comes to mind … Nirvana – Heart Shaped Box

    “She eyes me like a Pisces when I’m weak, I’ve been locked inside your Heart Shaped Box for weeks, I’ve been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap, I wish I could eat your Cancer when you turn black.”

    Kurt Cobain was born Feb. 20th 1967, Courtney Love born July 9th 1964

  26. @cancer I say if you felt a cosmic connection you should go with it.

  27. Snippity Snapperz says:

    Mr. Fishy,

    I didn’t realise you replied to my post. Thanks for the comment. 🙂

    I find it interesting that both of our ex’s have this similarity of trying to keep up an illusion of happiness. It seems so strange and disturbing at the same time. I also wonder if they have a fear of being alone.

    I don’t think Capricorn and Cancers go all that well together to be honest because we’re just too different. I’m not sure why your ex is still with him. I’m sure she isn’t stupid, but I guess that’s her prerogative. My experience with one hasn’t been extensive, but being cheated on by one hurt a lot. I don’t think I want to be with another.

    Since you seem to be in a better state of mind, do you think you can ever talk to your ex again? Or would it better to just leave things be?

    As far as the thread dying, I would take it as a good sign. Maybe fishy-crabby relationships have been successful! 🙂

  28. Mr. Fishy says:

    CrabsCare,

    It’s nice to see that you recognized Cobain’s inner Pisces. A lot of people probably missed that part in his music, but I see that your Crabar detected it.

    Snapperz,

    It most certainly is an illusion of happiness, but that is all it will ever be…. A grand image of something that never will be real. I have yet to meet someone who forced their happiness into reality. Love and tender emotional well-being are things that come with chemistry, companionship and time. There is no rushed or forceful will involved, and if there is, then it’s not genuine enjoyment, but a fake.

    It would be a waste of time to communicate with my ex ever again, and I say this because she has become a human wrecking-ball. No one in their right mind would be so ardently disrespectful to not only the one who loves her, but to her entire family as well. Heck, she was rude to my parents after my grandpa passed away. Not quite sure what I would say to her if our paths ever crossed again, but I would probably just keep on walking forward.

    Since when do rushed marriages blossom to the utter destruction of a woman’s entire family?

    I am also disinclined to believe that a marriage would work between emotionless Capricorn and tender Cancer. They are both carnal signs, which also leads me to believe that there will be some dynamite arguments in store.

  29. Snippity Snapperz says:

    Mr. Fishy,

    “It most certainly is an illusion of happiness, but that is all it will ever be…. A grand image of something that never will be real. I have yet to meet someone who forced their happiness into reality. Love and tender emotional well-being are things that come with chemistry, companionship and time.
    There is no rushed or forceful will involved, and if there is, then it’s not genuine enjoyment, but a fake.”

    I agree. It’s similar to an actor playing the same role for the rest of their life. The actor will just get tired of it and will not want to be typecast. They may live the illusion for a period of time, but it’s not a permanent thing.

    “It would be a waste of time to communicate with my ex ever again, and I say this because she has become a human wrecking-ball. No one in their right mind would be so ardently disrespectful to not only the one who loves her, but to her entire family as well. Heck, she was rude to my parents after my grandpa passed away. Not quite sure what I would say to her if our paths ever crossed again, but I would probably just keep on walking forward.”

    Yeah, you’re probably right. I guess there’s no reason to say anything when there isn’t anything to be said. It really doesn’t make sense for me to talk to the people I used to be with. There wouldn’t be anything to be talked about.

    “Since when do rushed marriages blossom to the utter destruction of a woman’s entire family?”

    I think rushed marriages don’t work. It won’t blossom, but slowly die. I just never know why people would tell themselves that it will get better. Marriages are suppose to be the culmination of getting to know each other and overall compatibility. Destruction can be fixed within family if all is put on the table, but I’m not sure if it could be fixed when it comes to the actual ex who got hurt by that person.

    “I am also disinclined to believe that a marriage would work between emotionless Capricorn and tender Cancer. They are both carnal signs, which also leads me to believe that there will be some dynamite arguments in store.”

    In my experience, it will be difficult to say the least. I do have to emphasize the cardinal quality that Cancers and Capricorns share. I presume it would be a continuous power struggle between the two. When I was with a Capricorn, it was tough to find common ground because we both had a “take charge” attitude. I would want to be with someone who can balance my personality. Someone too domineering would be a huge turn-off and difficult to maneuver to a compromise. Likewise, with someone who balances me, I can learn to not be so stressed and be more calm.

    In the end, when it comes to love and marriage, I would not rush into a rebound marriage. I say this because I’ve seen what it could lead to and it’s never ends well.

    But I guess it’s better to learn from pain so that you don’t make a mistake to others and especially yourself.

  30. CrabsCareLOL says:

    @ Mr Fishy

    Thank you!! (:

    How has your summer been going?

  31. Mr. Fish says:

    Hi Crabscare,

    I am fine. Am currently in Afghanistan on deployment.

    Everything is okay here.

    How are you?

  32. Sounds like he wants u in control and ur in the losing end of the deal

  33. @ Mr. Fish

    i haven’t been on this blog in so long! i remember you said you were going to be deployed…hope it’s okay out there and above all, stay safe…

    now did the crabby ex answer your e-mail? if she hasn’t…maybe her Cap knows the password. I wouldn’t imagine other reason for a crabby girl not to reply….especially since you were reaching for her, letting her know about something that important in your life. if she reply, what did she say? i’ve scrolled through the replies but i didn’t see it. anyways.

    what can i say…you’re the sweetest Pi guy we have all ‘met’- most of the ladies here agree with this, and it’s a shame you were left heartbroken. i don’t know what to say other than i feel so sorry whenever something like this happens…it happened to all of us so we know what it feels like 🙁 i was also very upset when my Pi and i ended it…but we’re good now. ofc it doesn’t compare to your relationship and the way she pulled that sort of MIA on you…

    anyways, this isn’t the time to get depressed. think positively, take care of yourself and as i said, stay safe. for how long are you going to be there? keep us updated!

    i’m not the best Cancer in the world but if there’s anything you wanna ask…i’m sure everybody who’s a crab will definitely jump in..at least i will! hugs!

  34. Dear Jolie,

    It’s really nice to hear back from you after all this time, and I certainly appreciate your time and consideration.

    I have since deployed to Afghanistan, and life here is okay so far. There have been a few close calls and near misses, but I am still around!

    As for my ex, she did write back almost instantly. It seems as though as soon as I sent her the email, she wrote back within 10-15 minutes. While I am inclined to believe that she still cares about me, it was the message itself that provided a lot of doubt.

    Basically, she said thanks for the memories, was slightly condescending toward me, and that was about it. The message was about 2-3 paragraphs in length, and she communicated ever so slightly that she wants to move closer to her family. Being isolated and alone some 1200 miles away from everyone she knows and cares about, I can see why that would be a problem for her. What still shocks me is this anger that still seems to be within her. I can see why she may be angry not only because of the guy who isolated her away from everyone, but the fact that the guy she married is a total psychopath.

    I mean, while she won’t admit to anything, I do have other sources of information that communicate a clear picture that things are really bad for her. Her mother has indicated that the guy goes into a violent rage if my name is mentioned. Now, let’s examine this for just a moment. If a person is reeling over the loss of a longterm relationship, it is normal for that person to vent a little of this frustration and sadness, right? Well, how can a person truly be happily married if their concerns and emotional feelings are met with open hostility? If I were married, I would allow my wife to vent her emotional problems to me because that is part of a husband’s job, is it not? To listen to his wife when she is upset about something? The world she is living in IS Bizarro World, where everything is backwards. Isolated away from everyone she knows in a strange place, married to a guy who angrily shouts at her if she mentions the things that bother her, and she is probably denied regular access to her family since they live so far away.

    Living in denial of this reality is only making things worse, as it delays the inevitable. She will eventually have to stand up for herself, and realize that this entire marriage is not only a sham, but it is an extraordinarily painful sham to deal with. The reason that it is painful?

    When she graduated from grad school, the only thing that she and her parents wanted was for her to move closer to them. Even when we were discussing our lives together as a couple, it was a constant talking point that we live close to her family. This is something that I believed in as well, since both of our families were only 6 hours apart for a road trip.

    Anyway, her mother and father’s health is not the best right now, and her minister and her dog are getting older. I sense that the health of these four will only get worse in the coming years, and she will find herself alienated from them as they age. She has also lost her relationship with her brother, as was indicated when she lashed out at him for asking that she take her time to carefully decide before marrying Mr. Psychopath.

    My current problem is that while it has been nearly 2 years since we were a couple, I am still experiencing a little of the huge mental-emotional hangover. I still have dreams about her, and I sometimes think about her while out here. However, I have also come to realize that this Don Quixote stuff is not healthy at all, and I have to stop caring about her. While easier said than done, I am making progress each day.

    It is true that I should find ways to stay focused, and I have done that with my daily responsibilities in addition to the fact that I have resumed teaching again.

    Oh well, I didn’t mean to ramble so much, but I guess that it really is true that the separation of a Cancer and Pisces is among the most painful break-ups.

    How do you feel about this?

  35. Mr. Fish says:

    Hello?

    Is anyone there?

  36. AmanConfused says:

    I am a pisces male born 03/09/1957, my now ex-wife is a cancer born 07/02/1962. We were married for 30 years, then a little les than 2 months after our 30th anneversary, she left me in the middle of the night. Durring the most emotionally trying time of my entire life. My mother was on death’s door step, I / we, had been taking care of my Father who was in fragile health for almost 9 years at that time. Three Days after she left, I received word my Mother had passed on and servered with a temporary restraining order issued at her request alledging she was afraid fir her life, and that I was emotionally, and verbally abussive to her. It’s been over 8 months now. So Mother pased, she got her restraining order hearing where the judge made it effective for a year (no contact by either party), where he told her as far as he was concered our marriage was irevocably broke, and that she should file for divorce. She did file, and got the divorce. my Dad passed 8 days later. Virtually no communication of any sort has passed between us, I am left without any explanation from her own lips after all that we’ve shared together. When she came with the Deputies to get her things, which I’d packed in detail with loving care for her, her few parting words to me were “You Need To move On.” Nothing so devastating has ever been said by anyone to me, for me it was her that was obviously “moving on”. I was left with little reason to live much less move on, and yet I still live, still try to make some sense of it all. Even though she confessed to cheating on me 10 years ago, I forgave her, then afterward she blamed me for her indiscretion. I never cheated on her, and alway’s believed she knew that, now I’m not so sure. I feel betrayed, abandoned, and yes, very alone.
    She was and is my true love, and I’ve always felt we were soulmates, ment to be together, I still love her, and can’t get her out of my mind. I know in my heart I will love her for the rest of my life. I know very little about Astrology. What do our charts say about us? Were we doomed to failure? Is there any chance tat her heart will soften, and at least allow for decent conversation to pass between us? it’s 5 more long months until the restraining order term has run. I can’t imagine she’d ever attempt to reach out to me, but know in my heart based on her acusations in applying for the order, that if I try she will reject me. I don’t think I could take that. I pray for her, I pray for a mediation, I hope for us, and I wait, trying not to loose my mind.
    There are others I know mostly Libras, all of them hold some attraction, one in particular, I’ve not been with any other woman sexually as of yet, even though I long for that intiment sharing. It’s still her voice I hear mostly in my head at night and when I wake up. It’s her face I see first in my mind’s eye, when I close my eyes trying to sleep. This would break any new woman’s heart to know.
    If it were possible, unreal as it may seem. I’d have them both, the libra that has captured my imagination, and the cancer who may not know nor care, that she still holds a huge peice of my heart. The Libra (just before we made contact again) has recently married, and states it was a mistake, and that she is unhappy. The Cancer has accused me, blamed me, run away (but not far), hid from me (but let others know exactly where she is, whom she knows will tell me), she truly abandoned me emotionally, and physically. At times I feel like such a fool.
    Can the charts possibly hold any answers for my delima?

  37. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    AmanConfused
    OMG, you’ve experienced some hell. So have I. My father died in 2008 and you never really feel better. Why did she take off like that? I guess she is crazy, it has nothing to do with her sign she is just nutts. Go find yourself a sane woman. Speaking of signs I think you need a Scorpio woman, your Cancer woman would’ve been okay too but she has something wrong with her head. Good luck to you

  38. @amen confused,

    I think all u pieces men fool of shit bull shit that is. I’m glad that ur cancers lady did what she did to u. Something that role like u pieces men deserve. Punishment for being such good liars and cheaters I bet you cheated on ur wife is to why u made her nuts. I believe there is always two sides to each story is to why u wanna keep both detached from reality u pieces men are, she the moon u will never forget her even if u try, and that’s part of the punishment. Such good liars but not good enough for a cancer to pass over. You see bc we are intuitive by nature. We are the mother of all the signs. We can sense when a person does wrong without it being played before our eyes, that’s how Physic we really are. We can see all the lies in the feeling and the eyes, as u tell us ur filthy lies stories we are just so passionate that we take all of it in until we snap and that what ur wife did. I hate to tell u this but ur moon crabbie woman went running to someone new time to move on u should have did a better job keeping her. Nurishment is what u should have done LOVE her to the fullest u failed in showing and cancer woman are all about actions. Sorry for u loss but when a cancer tells u to move on u probably should. I know I don’t gotta tell u im a cancer woman for u to know Ps. One Love…

    Signed ????????

  39. How interesting to find this article now.
    I am a Cancer woman – (7-4-80) – who has been involved with a Pisces man (3-3-74) for 4 years now.
    When we met, it felt like I was coming home. He was charming and sweet, funny and exciting. We had so much in common and I felt like….this was something really special.
    Then he lied and cheated…a lot… had relationships with other women in other cities. It has been utterly devastating. But it was always me who was there with and for him when things got bad. He has been in and out of jobs since I have known him, going from place to place…. I was there when he lost his parents. Hell, I took care of funeral arrangements and everything for one of them…I have taken care of him and been his rock. But….he seems to want to use and abuse…lie and play with other women. It really REALLY enrages me….

    Yes, it was my choice to stay, but I was just…so in love.

    He always tells me, he will always come home to me. He would call me his wife. I know his family and his kids from previous relationships.
    I would stupidly forgive, but what can I say? Love makes fools of us all…
    This Pisces moon and Venus retrograde has been extremely difficult…. I know I need to step back and away, and I am, but good Lord…. can it BE any more challenging right now? (And I REEEALLY shouldn’t ask that as that is when things go for the jugular…lol)

    I know this is my doing, having allowed it for this long. I really feel like he is in the middle of a big transition now, so I am giving space and time to both of us.
    But I love him. Have from the day we met.
    I have given everything to this man, and even more….
    Oh Piscean men…why must you be so damn difficult??????

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