Why Scorpio men won’t tell how they feel about you
May 18, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner
The initial stage of a relationship is harrowing, especially if you are with an uncommunicative man. You’re falling for him, but he just won’t come out and say how he feels. He’s sticking around, yes … but how do you know it’s not just for sex, or because being with you is better than being alone? You want clarity! And unfortunately, the Scorpio man is not the most divulging guy on the block.
Scorpio is the sign of secrets. This sign is not forthcoming, but for good reason. Scorpio is an emotional water sign, and feels pretty deeply. It may not be obvious, but there’s alot going on inside. The Scorpio man is keenly aware of people’s ability to harm, abuse and manipulate one another. His ruling planet Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, after all. Scary, dark things happen down there. Unspeakable things. It is better to just keep a lid on it, don’t you think? Otherwise, all the demons will be unleashed, and that’s not a pretty thing.
So, he keeps his feelings close to his chest. Although Scorpio has a rep for being mysterious, he’s only hiding from you because he’s afraid. After all, if he bares his soul to you, who knows how you can use that sensitive information to undermine him? He needs to trust you — implicitly — to give you the keys to his heart. He may indeed love you, but it’s not easy for him to utter the words. Not until he’s made sure they won’t come back and haunt him.
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all what you mentioned is true but the important question now is how to show to Scorpio man that i am loyal to him and make him trust me.
Aries
what you mentioned is true, but the important question is how to show to my Scorpio man that i am loyal to him and he can trust me?
Aries
hehe~~
how to let him know that you are loyal to him?
just text him or call him everyday
then, tell him where and with you going out with if it not with him
then don’t be shy…
best of luck roney!
(scorp girl that are currently dating a scorp male)
(and happy of it! haha~~)
this is soo true…im a scorpio chick dating a scorpio man…and its soo true i had to pry things like that out of him…becaus ei like to know and i will not let things goo sooo easily…im usually a tough shell to crack but seeing as how him adn i are very much alike…i have to dominate just a little to see a little movement from him…i have to crack his shell open…i just let him know i can be just as hard headed and stubborn as he is…and he loves his alone time he wont text or call for days or if i text him…and im soo into him…but i have to let him have his space becaue im the same way…even though i love that attention…my pint is we went over this subject just today..and he finally told me why hes so into me…very vague though..i still have to work a little more to get him open…
(I’m a Gemini Sun, Virgo Moon, Venus in Cancer, Sagittarius Rising)
All right, I know you’re going to judge me right off the bat ’cause I’m a Gemini. Well, that’s not fair–then it’s me stereotyping, too! x.x
Anyway… I’ve recently managed to get over this on-off Aries Sun relationship with someone(took five months to get over it), and suddenly found myself rather enamored with what we think is a Scorpio. From what I’ve seen he probably is one–and, damn.
It’s like a switch was flipped as soon as I wasn’t looking after (i.e. being protective of) my ex, since she’s moved on(the ex and I are very close and good friends, still). The past few days I’ve thought about him constantly–sort of unnerving–and just about waited with baited breath for him to be online(FYI: All my relationships have been online, and I was first caught by his writing ability before I even knew he was a Scorpio and I’ve never seen a picture of him so I think you can rule out shallow physical attraction, here. :3).
I mean, it’s sort of crazy. I feel really attached and all I can think about is that I want to be wanted, and all the horoscope stuff says Scorpios are in it for the long haul–and yet I’m really careful about being too forward (blame the Virgo Moon?) because I don’t want to come across as shallow (I don’t think I am, unlike how most people brand Geminis). Whenever I enter into a relationship I always think it’s going to last forever–a little naive, yeah, but I can’t help that that’s the way I feel. I just want a solid presence that I can always go back to, and damn! x.x The ‘zing’ of my latching onto him as a possible candidate was so fast it made my head spin (it’s still spinning, too!).
Ahha… I don’t know what to do, really. This morning we had a bit of (online, through IMs, yes–please don’t just write it off and take what I’m saying for what it is!) interaction that led me to believe he might be interested–he just kept watching me and sometimes smiling and even stated that he was sort of amused by my reactions…
Even though I feel like I’m already caught I feel like I can’t just give it up, yet. I don’t even know if he’s truly interested, or just playing with me because he finds me amusing. –;; I’ve read up on Scorpio a lot the past few days, and so tried not to be as belligerent as I usually am with people I don’t know well–which resulted in a weird sort of state of mind, for me. I kept blushing and glaring at the same time. We mostly communicated through body language (again, don’t write it off just ’cause this took place online without a webcam for either of us! Just take it as it is!). It was intensely humiliating that he called me ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’, too. But dammit if I didn’t have fun with the back-and-forth, as well!
It’s very strange. Usually I don’t like to give up my independence so quickly–really, it takes a long time for anyone to get under my skin. But I feel like he’s already there, so he’s already won in a sense… but I don’t think he knows that and I still need to feel him out to decide if I’ll ever tell him. Obviously, I don’t want to risk getting hurt no matter how much my intuition nudges me to believe it’s okay to let myself fall. But we’ll see what happens.
I’d like any feedback that could possibly be mustered from anyone… ? Just an idea to see how serious he is, at this point–? It makes me wonder when that Scorpio possessive streak is going to pop up… I see possessiveness as an insecurity, ’cause they don’t want to lose you, so… I’m sort of hoping for it to kick in, so I don’t have to worry about being left high and dry. x.x
there isnt a way to convince a scorpio that you are loyal or committed to him, except by being that way in every action, he will read your every thought and emotion, and he wont let you in until he knows you are genuinely there, you cant fake it with a scorpio he will know.
Be strong, yet vulnerable, cold yet passionate, fiercy loyal, and allow him to control the relationship without becoming a door mat.
Easiest way to find out how a scorpio feels about you is his actions, he will put you on a pedestall, protect you from the world, be very jealous, and show you off the the world as a perfect girl on his arm. if your sneaky … supply him with alcohol and the feelings will come flooding out of him.
hey im new on here n im a leo dating a male scorpio how do i know if he’s in love with me i can’t tell, n we have almost been together for a year n idk im still trying to figuer it out.. i can’t tell b/c he’s really secrative
so true. i’ve been dating my scorpio man for 8 moths; on and off. I just can’t seem to get anything from him. should i confront him about it?
should i ask ? i don’t wanna seem desperate or needy but i need to get things straight. I’m willing to wait because i am deeply interested in getting to know the real him. Our sex is great, we have great connection and we are strongly passionate but things really “flow” whenever he wants to… it’s as if he didn’t want me to know the real him. what should i do?
Hello cap/aqu girl,
How do you allow him to control the relationship without becoming a door mat? I’m sorry if this questions seems strange to you but I’m very inexperienced and would like to know how not to be treated like a doormat considering that I’m a very forgiving person.
@khameleonn – you let him have his way on most things but not all things. But you still put up a good fight either which way. And the only things you don’t let him have his way, are the things he really doesnt care about anyway. Trick is knowing the difference. Choose your battles wisely! Also hold them to their words. If they tell you something and try to back out of it and you let them, they will 1.) think you’re weak 2.) think YOU think that behavior is acceptable and will most likely end up doing it to THEM 3.) think integrity is not a huge deal to you, even if they’re the ones that are showing lack of it. BUT if he never promised something, or agreed to something, even if it’s something he SHOULD do, you don’t have a ground to stand on and will just come across dominating and controlling…and they don’t want that becuse THEY ant all the control. See what mad logic it is. After a while and youve stuck your hand in the fire a few too many times it will make sense. lol
So any advice on scorpio scorpio male and female im trying to crack scorpio womans shell. Both very secrative so far i think i gave more
Phenix/scorpio
You will never crack her shell, anymore then she can break yours LOL
BTW I know everyone thinks this is the sign of secrets but I’ve met quite a few Gemini’s and Aquiarians who were just as secretive… Only there secrets wern’t as interesting as a Scorpio’s LOL
What I’d like to know, if any Scorpio guys are willing to share, does it end? I mean if a Scorpio man is married for 20 years to a woman, and hopefully he finally feels like he can trust her (silly guys) does he ever take those cob webby walls down and let her know how he feels or is it a guessing game for life? I know Scorpio women are different, sharing everything with their husbands, but the men of this sign really puzzle me. THanks
Libra lady my scorpio woman is secretive either that or she really doesnt have much in terms of secrets. And besides us guys choose but i find it never stops it just dwindles with time. Like in the beginning the chase occupys our mind and then comes the thought of whats gonna take it. Like in my case i think one false move stays in a scorpio so dont mess up or it’ll bite you. I think evuantually we let go but its only with the right girl.
Sounds like things never get boring
Even to be bitten, would be better then being ignored, thats whats been lacking in my past relationships, passion….. You Scorpio guys are great at getting a girls knees weak 
LOL
this question is a difficult one because it has so many vague answers. i like secrets and don’t like to blurt everything out or make things too obvious. otherwise life becomes too stale. it also depends because sometimes i can tell a girl how i feel, other times it makes me feel a bit dumb. don’t know why.
the funny thing is that the more i like someone the more liberties i try to take and the more cheeky insults i seem to make at their expense. it can really annoy people who are sensitive and i do try to stop it but sometimes that can be difficult. so it is not unusual for a scorpio to make fun of the person they really like and play a funny game of never really telling them how they feel. scorpios like to let you know it in other ways rather than in words. but then sometimes they just like to tease people even if they don’t like them so it can get confusing. even in some cases scorpios appear to blank out the person that they love. again i am not sure why but i have done it on many occasions and expected the other person to be a mind reader.
Well thres that but in long story short at least were giving you attion. Our worst thing seems to be ignoring you completely you dont exist. Its a feeling akin to having an unwanted dog or unwelcomed guest but you barley even notice them at all. and thanksx i like to think making a girls knees weak as a specialty lol wanna go to colldge for it as well. Though there only weak somone slacked :\
Scorpio Male
Thanks, I think I understand…..It helped me understand my recent stupidity, LOL. The Aqua guy I thought I loved wasnt what he seemed and what I fell in love with wasnt him so much as his pretty words. as stupid as I feel about that, its good…Ive been crying over an illusion not a man…LOL
Its helpful, Its nice to hear that men think like that too, not just women. I dont know why someone like you would feel dumb? You probably know how to see the “real” stuff in a relationship. If anyone should feel dumb, it’s those that dont see it while they are just waiting to hear some pretty words…I think that having my heart broken has given me an edge Ive never had before, I fell for the wrong reasons and next time someone shows more friendship then words, if Im ever that lucky, I wont take him for granted. Im tired of words…thanks
I think that a person can tell you they love you a million times and never make you feel as happy as one tiny gesture would, just showing it…I always try to show the person I care for and when I dont get anything shown back, I pretend Im happy because they said this or that, talk really is cheap…. Im tired of it. If I had a dime for every guy that claimed he loved me…I think Ill be looking deeper next time, looking for some real proof.
THanks for making me think about that
Scorpio Male
You said you expected someone to be a mind reader, Ive done that too, makes me laugh now… Of course once you start telling too much, you leave yourself vulnerable too, the “talkers” and the “gamers” know what you like and will try to trick you now, so being too honest with a person can backfire…. Its hard to find that safe middle ground…
Phenix/scorpio
Thats it really, most of us idiots find the “potential” relationship LOL
I’m really happy for you and your Scorpio GF, it sounds like you’ve got a strong relationship, not just the potential of one
Libra lady- yes its going good. Latley only one things been hard not to do. Whew
Let us face it:
Scorpio male need a fine and a subtle level of self-awareness. When scorps are emotionally smitten which is pretty often for this being a very volatile sign with a primordial purpose of reproduction, they can be extremely vulnerable in which case they adopt the below pattern of behaviour.
1. Extreme shyness to talk to the person concerned
2. On the contrary extreme openness to everyone else concerned
3. Attention seeking behaviour and to some extent narcissm to get the beloved on the attention.
4. They prefer to be chased than to chase
5. They are more in love with a idolised projection than the real person of flesh and blood.
6. If consummated it takes a different turn of maybe disinterest else neutrality, rarely does it take on the long term for more than a couple of years. In which case it becomes just a fascination
7. If consummated the level of heartbreak can be too intense and coming out very difficult, it can lead to overacting, pretensions of not caring, overdoing everything all with the view to impress the beloved.
8. Reticence of scorpios is not just for rebuff or ridicule but more due to shyness.
sounds like my scorpio to the T. lol.
rgopi30
I never really thought about it like that…The spooky thing is as a Libra woman, I feel many these traits in myself, being shy around someone, yet open at the same time then brooding over things later….. Wanting to share everything then self loathing afterwards….Feeling ashamed for being vulnerable, this really puzzles me. As a Libra Im an extrovert, but only on the surface, its sort of like the same mask…
My Scorpio friends just happen to wear a better one
I am a taurus sun with a scorpio moon dating a scorpio sun. We have been dating a little over a month and it has been total bliss and the sex is mindblowing!!! While my practical side is saying slow down, I seem to not be able to do so. I am a very open and direct person. Although he has been open with me (we have discussed money and me handling the budget), I can tell that he’s holding back and/or leaving some things out. We have already discussed possible cohabitation. I guess I am just wondering like everyone else how to KNOW if I am truly what he desires and that he can trust me (he’s been married twice before and is a little commitment shy).
Yeah, really, how does one know? Men can be really hard to read sometimes, and then it’s tricky knowing when to be upfront by just asking them. I don’t have a whole lot of experience with my Scorp boyfriend, as we’ve only been together a short period . . . but he has already given me some pretty good insight into his world. I went in assuming I wasn’t going to get anything out of him, so I haven’t pried. What I have noticed in the past two weeks is that he tells me more about himself when he’s ready to. This does not come from me doing the asking. So I would definitely say, if you want to know how he feels – don’t pry!! Whatever you do, don’t drill him with questions because I think it might send him running.
I know that when my boyfriend is sharing something about his thoughts/feelings -it’s not a casual conversation that we’re having. Because this does not happen very often, I make sure that he has my undivided attention when I know he’s ready to spill. I’ve noticed that in order to get him to open up a bit, sometimes I’ve had to share something intimate with him first. The trick is not to expect a response in return though.
There was a comment made earlier about showing some vulnerability, yet being strong at the same time. It’s true. In my relationship, our most intimate conversations have developed out of showing some form of vulnerability with each other. One night after intimacy, I just started crying in his arms because I felt so content in being with him. I just broke down and I told him that he makes me very happy and why; he got it. In turn, he shared some of his secrets with me, and we really connected on a whole new level that night. For me that was extremely special, because he’s such a strong, confident individual. I know that he does not show that side of himself often, if at all. I think this stems from trust. So make sure that he can trust you fully. Be that girl whom he can feel safe opening his heart to, and he will not disappoint you. At the same time, show him that you trust him full heartedly too.
WHAT A STUPID ARTICLE !!
I AM A SCORPIO MALE LET ME POINT MY OPINION IN 4 SENTENCES
1) Some of you in here you do not know anything about us Scorpions.
You just make stupid assumptions and you spread your negative cr*p about us from your high horse…
2) Afraid ?????? Ahaha not at all it has nothing to do in reality with fear itself it has to do with TRUST. Scorpions are not naive persons if you want to win a Scorpio you have to win his trust !!
3) Do not make a Scorpio angry or hurt his feelings because he will reject you or he may even destroy you in one way or another…
4) Scorpions do not care in making serious relationships with “slutty” types and “social butterfly” types. A SCORPIO WANTS A STABLE AND ETHICAL SOULMATE (EXCEPT DURING SEX..) THAT HAS EYES ONLY FOR HIM !!!
Does that answer some of your questions in here ladies ??
Sotos the Scorpion
@ Sotos – the only here that appears stupid is that in four points, you haven’t said anything that hasn’t been mentioned in every single thread, article, book or description of scorpios through out the world.
Next time YOU want to come down off your high horse, trying saying something original and HELPFUL and maybe then you won’t be perpetuating your own negativity.
I have a serious thing for my Scorpio ex boyfriend. Sex is sizzling hot. I have never ever met such a man like him in real life. Okay, at first I wasn’t a big fan of horoscope until I met him. I’m always drawn to Scorpio. The attraction is instant and intense. Well they never cease to amaze me and triggers my curiosity. I would want to know and understand them more because I would want to make him MINE forever & ever.
I am a Cap woman and my very first crush was a Scorp guy. Guess how that went <_< We were very young then (high school age), but things were crazy. He was very popular and handsome — of course — but so secretive. I could never figure if he liked me, and I also figured he wanted his space, so I left him alone — as far as I could — with me getting bullied and him manipulating the whole class. Well, being a scorp he stopped the bullying, but it didn't make things less awkward between us. Eventually about 3 years later we had a talk, and it seems I hurt him by being 'unfriendly' and 'demanding' (he means he helped me, but how could I repay him? I did give him some nice presents…) — and he never ever wants to see me again. To be on the receiving side of the anger isn't nice, at all. My point was, how'd I know exactly how you were feeling ANYWAY? Secretiveness seriously pissed me off, but hey, I was young, and my secretiveness probably wasn't any help either.
Fast forward about 6 years, and last year I just met another scorp guy. This went better, we went out, and he was extremely sweet about everything. It's hard for me to be at ease with people but he put me at ease anyway. So after the first outing which neither of us wanted to really end, I had to leave the country (I was there for work; we're not of the same nationality), both sides promising that there will be another meeting. So I go back home somewhat dizzy and happy…
Of course, things would f*** up. And it's due to him being Mr Secretive. I'm neurotic, so I tried to flirt (and I think? it went wrong) — this resulted in a panicked apology from me and him saying that I was "funny" and "should relax". Ehh. Well, relaxing is no good for neurotics, so I simply told him outright I think he's attractive. Guess what he said? "Thanks, good luck with the work, remember! relax!"
Anyone with a modicum of sense can tell that he is not saying ANYTHING at all about me. Thanks?? Geez. He's continued on as though nothing has happened at all, but I'm tired of this ambivalent s***. I'm not a fan of uncertainty. I'm just sick of it; tell me whether you find me attractive or not, and we can begin taking practical steps to working the whatever-it-is-s***e out. For we get along well and I would want to be friends if nothing else is possible. What is up with these games? I've shown my hand, show me yours. It's only fair!
(Scorp males out there: wtf is going on, if you guys actually KNOW)
Anyway I've had enough and have silently hidden his fb posts etc from myself. Do not feel like talking to him anyway; imo if he was attracted etc he would do more and not play games or whatever. So I'm just going to pretend he doesn't exist from now on. I figure he won't notice anyway; if he does he can go and attempt to communicate — I'm sick of being the one always having to initiate communication all the time. Enough is enough.
One thing I DO know: he had better NOT come around after a few years raging with that dark scorpionic anger, accusing me of being cold and unsympathetic or whatever, or else. Scorpios have a bad rep for having terrible tempers (and from experience this is true) but we capris can pull quite a punch. If this one tries to sting me I will step on the tail and slam my goat-horns into his face.
Of course I've noticed a few trends with these:
1. Always handsome, with those eyes, those eyes, those eyes.
2. Outwardly calm and controlled, but inwardly seething and controlling.
3. Successful and manipulative
I have no idea why they always seem to try to pull me to them — and given that they do have magnetic power this seems to work. Then once having 'pulled' me to themselves, and I'm interested, they become Mr Secretive and begin going cool, whereupon I get fed up (are you serious or are you not? Because I am serious, and if you are not, then I'm not interested) and decide the wisest and most practical course of action would be to get on with my life and work. *facepalm*
Sotos
can you give me insights into the scorpio male? i was scared about all of the recent snow. didnt recieve calls or texts from him. we both live in different states. he texted me to say we were through and never to talk again. we had a misunderstanding before about an ecard i sent him and it ended up with a viagra link attatched to it. he was ticked! but forgave me. i left some texts for him that he took to mean i accused him of cheating and dumping me on the sly. i was joking, i do that when i try to deal with intense emotions. he knows this. i called for rest of whole day no answer. he was working and i didnt know. he was supposed to be on downtime for 3 months. he never said he drove 4hrs a day. or that he needed space. said he’s over it. don’t ever want to talk to me again. but he still loves me better to have love and lost thatn never at all. i’d find someone new. he knows i want no one but him. how do i get him to talk with me so i can get him back? do i date other guy? play hard to get? it seems so dishonest. we are really compatible in values, attractiveness, education, adventure, and highly sexual, i am aquarius to his scorpio. can you say if i never lied, cheated, been dishonest or anything would a scorpio take me back? he is inflexible about somethings, but really fair. bur the text dump was pure ice. how do i get him back? ignore him?
Ok Ladies…coming from a Scorpio Guy who has been with quite a few Damsels….The reason we Scorpio men dont like telling is simple….
Action Speaks louder than Words….Its not the “Quantity its the Quality”
I have:
Sun Scorpio
Moon Leo
Aries Asc……
Actions do speak louder than words. Scorpios are the kings/queens of this statement. If you’re dating one, you must learn to read his/her body language, because it will say a lot. Goodness Sir_Scorpio! That’s quite the power combo you have there, lol. You really do need a strong woman!
Wantsherscorpioback:
Leave! Just leave before he stings you bad. You do not want to be the recipient of a stinging lash out. I think he will respect you more as a woman if you set your eyes on a man more worthy of your attentions. It sounds like his actions are saying enough already. A man who’s really into you will respect and love you fully as you deserve. There’s none of this stupid back and forth business because he would not let you get away.
Well i dated a scorpio for 2 yrs n he was always telling me he love me like everyday….like to end a phone call….if i was mad at him n wont speak with him for days….he would text me “i love u” until we were bk together…..had no problems with him until i saw an email he wrote to an ex n then lied about it…..he was pretentious n lied to cover his ass tho….eventually i got tired of the lies n my feelings starting vanishing n then i ended it…but he was very expressive of his feelings…..even last week i got a text fr him saying he missed me n we have been over since last summer ….oh well….never cheat on a virgo.
Ohh yeah he was needy too….i hate that especially in men….i like my men responsible n in charge….huge turn on.
Sorry most of the scorpios are DOWN RIGHT liars and cheaters, we are better off with someone who is special and non-cheater or liar.
VirgoLovesTaurus
You are sooo right!!! I just recently found out that he cheated with his ex-girlfriend from an e-mail. He says he loves me constantly and wants us to make it but I am so leery now that my trust has been violated. I mean, it’s only been three months!!! He lied initially but when he saw that I didn’t believe him (HELLO…I had a printed copy of the email) and wasn’t hearing it, he confessed and told me EVERYTHING (maybe, who knows with Scorpio). He has offered to go to counseling and has read books on infidelity that I have bought so we can discuss. I want to believe him and my family adores him but I am trying to determine what should I do. I am a stick and stay girl (Taurus sun with a Scorpio moon) but my flight defenses have been activated.
Jadedcap you are hysterical!! Seriously laughed until I cried! Dear God thanks for that. I’m seeing a wonderful (I think?) Scorpio man. Very deep, reassuring and caring. He can get a little distant but he always reassures me. It really hasn’t been more than I need on occasion. After reading some of these comments I think I’m freaking a bit. Now I’m all paranoid. Has he cheated? Will he cheat? Is he sending out hundreds of texts and emails a day professing his love to countless unsuspecting women? Maybe those of us involved with these scorps should start posting photos. How horrifying would THAT be to see the same face on a few different posts. Kidding. Life’s short, I’m having the time of my life with the guy and until something presents itself I’ll just enjoy the ride. Okay, so I’ll keep my eyes open a little wider now.
As a Scorpio male I can only reiterate some of the things that have been said.
We may not be quick to say how we feel but Scorpios believe that actions speak louder than words. So, if you want to know how he feels about you watch his actions. If he’s really into you he will be attentive, caring and will set you on a pedestal and will do all he can to make you feel like a princess.
Likewise, although he will want to hear how you feel about him he will judge you by your actions more than your words. As for trust, yes we are slow to trust and it has to be earned rather than given automatically. We are very intuitive and can very quickly sense if something is not right. I would also say that we are very sensitive and can be hurt sometimes by something rather small that others might consider insignificant.
Lastly, as for the comments about cheating it surprises me. Scorpios in general are known to be very loyal and faithful to the one they love. I’m 50 and have never been unfaithful to a woman and any other Scorps I’ve known feel the same way.