Seducing a Capricorn at the office

LeeLee writes,

I am a Gemini lady who has the hots for a Cap guy. Problem is I am a few years older than him–but still attractive and very “lively”. This man has shown some interest in me and I catch him watching me a lot at work, but we have never made any outright moves on each other. I try to show him I care by being interested in his well-being and generally showing concern for him but I think my master plan has backfired. He has started calling me MAMMA! I’m not sure if he means “hot mamma” or that I’m acting like I’m his MOTHER! I’d like to laugh but I’m not really sure this is funny… Any ideas?

Work-places romances come with a stigma. They are frowned upon in some company policies, and it sucks having to see your ex everyday at the office. But there’s more to it. The office is kind of like a family. We bring our old issues to this adult environment, where we often spend more waking hours than we do with our roommates or loved ones. It is natural to project our childhood stuff onto our colleagues. Hence, sleeping with a co-worker can have incestuous overtones. If your colleagues find out, it’s like your siblings have learned your secret. Do they tell the Boss (Mom/Dad)?

For a Capricorn, work is sacrosanct. It is nearly his identity. So, he may be even more loathe than others to sleep with a co-worker. This conservative sign doesn’t want to risk the security of his career.

Are you being maternal? Words like concern and well-being have a care-taking flavor to them. Using solar houses, nurturing Cancer is on Capricorn’s seventh house of partnership. He does look for the mothering type to balance his more dry orientation, someone who can bring the feeling element into his life. But Taurus sits on his fifth house of lovers. If you want a fling, it is better to be sensual than doting. If you have the hots for him, why are you not being flirtatious, instead?

It should be easy to tell the difference between “mother” and “hot mamma” when he calls you Mamma. Tone of voice, the look in his eye — these are cues to which you can pay attention. He may be using the mother sense of “Mamma” to put up a safe wall, stating (unconsciously) that work-place relationships are a no-no. Or, he may be teasing, calling you on your Cancer moves, when he wants something more earthy. Only observation — or a direct question — will give you that answer.

Related:

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. proserpine says:

    Leelee, –Capricorns are certain to take root and become trees anyway–are you sure he’s for you?

    (just kidding)
    I like Capricorns–be lsying sexy–sensual like Jeff said.Capricorns are undercover perverts.(not kidding)

  2. Blah Blah says:

    She sure doesn’t sound like a Gemini to me with all this “care-taking” in order to seduce a guy. She probably has Venus or Mars in Cancer….

    Cappy wants to be looked after once they’re in a relationship, but not before.

  3. Blah Blah, I was actually born on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini (May 21). I have Venus in Taurus and Mars in Gemini, but no Cancer in my chart at all. I guess Taurus keeps me “earthy” when it comes to relationships.

  4. Blah Blah says:

    Ahhh, Lee Lee…maybe it’s your Taurus venus then that wants to take care of Mr. Cappy. Jeffrey’s right. Have you ever noticed how he looks at you when he calls you “mamma?” It’s all in the way he says it. If he’s doing this 😉 when he says “mamma”, then he’s ready for you to take care of him! 🙂

  5. What’s your ascendandt, LeeLee?

  6. Marley, my Ascendant is Leo. Aries Moon. I do have Cancer in my 12th house but I am not sure what the 12th house rules.

  7. Sistah!Ditch the mummy persona – so not sexy! Show him you’re interested by flirting in a classy and subtle way. Just enough to get the pupils dilating and that cheeky cappy grin. And he’ll be like a moth to a flame. All yours for the taking.

  8. Hmmm . . . I suppose the best way to pursue this is after office hours

    if he ever leaves the office that is

    Capricorn is ever-so-sexy in a uptight sort of way, just needs someone to loosen that tie

    The thing with these guys is you have to pretend you’re rich

  9. Anonymous says:

    I am a 41 year old gemini woman and I have been married to a capricorn man for 5 years dated him since he was 21. because i was older and not immature like girls his age he was attracted. He becane a father instantly with two step kids and after we married had one of our own. give your cap freedom and he always comes home to you. they are the only sign who is solid enough to tolerate a gemini. but the point is the gemini woman this one in particular did not mature until she was 30 ! I was just like all the young ditzy girls my husband hates. we would not have dated if we were the same age! hope that help. ps. my husband calls me MILF!

  10. Anonymous says:

    one thing that i noticed bout cappys is that they are extremely desired by everyone else and they love to own geminis i also noticed they like to chase the prize but if they acquire the prize they no longer want it , if they do that is becuz there are emotions involved so let him chase u

  11. We are very discreet, and private, and hate for other people to be in our business, so we try to keep a very low profile. We are not much into PDA and we don’t feel a need to put on a show or heirs for anyone. We are not concerned about public opinion and try to keep business and pleasure seperate. If you want to give him/her your number do it discreetly they will greatly appreciate you for that. If we even think you are a crowd pleaser or into everyone else’s business, we won’t even engage we will only admire from a far and you better believe we have studied you like a book before we proceed with caution.

  12. Capricorns give high priority to work, so to seduce a capricorn you have to praise his/her work ethics, ask for their advice about the work they will surely feel attracted towards you, But one thing for sure, capricorns are reserved and like some secrecy in affairs especially at the office.

  13. Capricious and proud says:

    “HEAR HEAR” Jane lol – You KNOW we studied him like prey before even thinking about approaching! lol LOVE how you summed up the interpersonal attraction game for us caps

  14. Lil Miss Virgo says:

    I am seeing someone I met at work, he is 33 and a capricorn. I am 25 and a virgo. He noticed me months ago, and didnt introduce himself till about 3 weeks ago. We have been on a few dates and I (surprisingly) opened up to him quite a bit. Now he seems to think I am lying about every other word out of my mouth. Is it in the capricorn nature to be so distrusting? Do you think I am just worrying too much (like us virgos often do)? Do capricorns look for bad things so they dont fall in love? I just dont get it….

  15. Lil Miss Virgo says:

    Oh, we had a slight argument last week about this (aparently I told him too much info about me to process) and so I promised to slow it down and so we went out saturday and had a WONDERFUL date. He introduced me to a bunch of his friends and people from his church and they all liked me a lot. Then sunday, he was in a bad mood and I kept cheering him up, then I said something which was a little different then something I said on saturday (really it was a misunderstanding, and not about anything important) and he got really upset and said he thinks I keep telling him lies. Is that just his way of trying to back off (maybe he likes me too much too quickly?) I wish I understood capricorns better.

  16. Beautibull says:

    *****To All Capricorn Men*****
    ****Please Help Me!!!*******
    I am a Taurus woman and I have a question… I want to know what to do to with this Capricorn male’s attention. I have definitely got it, I just have no idea what to do with it.

    The reason I am pleading for help is because it is such a sensitive situation. I met him in his office about a year ago. I was a low level employee(I only work part-time because I am a full-time student)and he was a higher up. So, we were both employed by the same large company but in two different places. Anyway, every time I had to go see him for something completely outside of work he would flirt with me.

    It started out as innocent as you could imagine. For example he would say, “Oh! We have to stop seeing each other under these circumstances.” He was always looking at me so intently and I would always have to stop and explain myself. Anytime I made so little comment he had to know the reason why I said what I said. I have felt for a long time that he really just wants to get inside my head. Just like it says in the articles here his eyes are so intense. He looks at me as if he is trying to see right through me to my core. It is exciting and unnerving all at the same time. Anyway, he makes me incredibly nervous but everyone says I hide it well.

    He actually came to my office once and he ended up staying there for a little while. I was busy working but my coworkers said that he was watching everything I was doing. I did happen to look up once and he was watching me, but I had no idea what to say. I wanted so much to say something to him but I didnt know how. Not only is higher up than me, but he is older and has a mouth on him. He does not hold back and I am afraid that if I speak up about how much I like him, then he will crush me with his words. There is no telling what would happen in this instance.

    Well, I no longer work there anymore and I spoke to him recently. He has given me a way to keep in touch with him, but I have no idea how or what to say. I really need to express this to him, but I just dont want to create an awkward situation. Does anybody have any advice about how a bull can catch a mountain goat? Why isn’t he chasing me anyway? Does any woman interested in a male Capricorn have to do all of the work initially?

  17. Beautibull says:

    Also when we do flirt it is not hard just intense… we tend to make other people in the room feel uncomfortable. It is like we are speaking another language and we are the only two who understand.

    The other thing that my friend noticed was that when he speaks to me it is softer than how he speaks to others. I had already noticed that when he says my name he almost purrrs it. You have no idea how incredibly sexy it is. I just don’t know why he never asked me out or said anything yet. There are all of the signals… but nobody is making a move. I am taking any suggestions… Thanks

  18. im a cap man, i know when i want something i get intense,then people start saying ur too serious, and im like what ever.
    that may be the look in eyes. but from reading what you said i get the feelin it is a physical attraction. they say we older caps (30 something) tend to be some hory goats. i can attest to that, even into our late years.
    if it is physical, treat him like sh*t, walk over him. watch what happens.
    if its emotional u might have to take the lead in the relationship and be sensitive
    BUT, what ever you do, dont throw ur self all over him. that’s a turn off.

  19. leo female says:

    the goat:

    does any of this apply to moon in capricorn? i work with a guy who is sun in pisces but moon in cap and he seems to be more cap than pisces. anyway, we have been having an office fling for almost two years but lately he is quite distant. he pursued me in the beginning which i gather is quite unusual for pisces or cap. i’m interested in what you said above about if it’s physical do this but if it’s emotional do something else. i’ve tried everything but he just seems unable to compromise so i have stopped doing anything. so how do i rwll if he us still interested? i can’t ask him, he won’t answer cause he can’t open up. i hate to just walk away if there is still something but it’s really affecting me and i don’t know how much more i can take.

    any thoughts?

  20. LibraLady says:

    leo female
    why walk away? You can still tease him 🙂 Try to get under his skin 🙂 Be sexy around him and let him drool over you, then just give him a tiny smile once in a while, Leo Women are very hard for most men to forget, Ive heard stories from guys, If I were you I would turn into something fun, if nothing else happens, at least you get the sattisfaction of knowing that you tortured him 🙂 Which he deserves anyways.

  21. @leo female
    cant really say. i have a couple of pisces friends, they are good people, easy to talk w/ but get passive sometimes. i have to be like “toughen up man”
    got to be honest, if he has capricorn mentality then you lost some respect w/ the office fling thing. that’s going to be hard to overcome.
    if u come as meaning business and sexy that would be a “turn on”, it least it would for me.
    if ur shallow, then u get’s the cold shoulder

  22. Beautibull says:

    @ the goat:

    For Caps can just physical lead to emotional? From as far as I can tell the answer is, no. What do you think?

    I was unsure if it was physical or not because we usually have more substantive conversation. So, I am glad you think there is a physical attraction.

    I want to treat it like there is definitely more there than just the physical. I am hoping that this is the case. What is the best step to take? I mean serious how slow and sensitive do I need to be here? This has been going on for way too long as it is…

    Thanks for your earlier responses!!!

  23. leo female says:

    The Goat-

    Oh I mean business!! And according to him I am drop dead sexy. Not sure what you mean by lost respect office fling; it was his idea!!

    I wouldn’t say I am shallow; he and I actually have alot in common as far as our seriousness at work but not with that damn passive pisces thing!!! drives me nuts!! I wouldn’t say toughen up, just get off the pot already!!!!

  24. leo female says:

    Libra Lady-

    good advice. i just don’t have it in my to do that. too shy. not typical leo that way. and when i get the brush off from him i become a shrinking violet!!
    came over to me at happy hour last night, which was a huge shock since he hasn’t done that for months, and i couldn’t really even talk to him since i have neither heard from him or seen hi at work for over a week. i mean that’s just rude and cold. he thought i was down about work. WRONG!!! it’s all him….

    i’ll try your advice, though, if i ever see him!! ough to be sexy around him when he seems to hide out at work…

    he does deserve torture but being a pisces he won’t even get it….

  25. Beautibull says:

    I just thought about this last part. He had not been returning my messages so I just asked him straight-up if he had received them. He said yes and apologized. He also said that he would call me later. My response was don’t worry about it because I will see you in the office about this later. He called me on my cell much later that night from his personal number.

    I know he called me for business purposes but, would it be appropriate for me to text or call him back on that same number for pleasure?

    This whole serious attitude and overachieving workaholic thing is just mind-boggling to me. I respect it completely I just don’t really understand it. I mean I am a bull so I know how to work to, but indulging in something absolutely sinful is so much more fun than work.

  26. leo female says:

    Beautibull-

    I agree…all work and no play is not even healthy. I am totally serious about my work but I can work AND play at the same time!! My moon in cap guy used to be able to do both but now he’s so uptight and it is such a downer. These guys need to loosen up!!!!

  27. Gemini gal says:

    Man, as a Gemini in love with a Cap since I was 21 (now 45), reading these boards has been SUCH a relief. I’ve never known a man like him and even after all the years of our acquaintance have wondered often if I was crazy or just plain thick as a brick for not being able to figure out what was going on with him most of the time. It’s enormously reassuring to know there are other people who have the same confusions with the Capricorns in their lives.

    I have no idea if, after a hiatus of a decade and a lot of life experiences on both our parts, we can rebuild a relationship or not, nor (even after all these years) can I tell if that’s in fact what he wants or if he is simply being his surprisingly generous, gentle, supportive self. Either way, it doesn’t much matter — I’ve long ago come to terms with the fact that this simply is how I feel about this man, and after a quarter of a century I know it’s not changing.

  28. @Beautibull
    can it lead to emotional?
    that’s a tough one, we caps can be lustful creatures.
    we can hold back a lot feelings. sometimes a cap man seeks a woman that can help him unleash that. if the conversation is good then u got something going. as a man, lot of times i can tell a woman what she wants to hear, but may feel totally different about it on the inside. understand his “feelings” when he is talking about things.
    then use that wild feminine mystique thing that drives us crazy.
    oh another thing, don’t talk about ur self too much during convo.

  29. @Beautibull
    the whole straight up attitude,…….definite yes. we like a woman who can hold her own.

  30. @leo female
    “Oh I mean business!! And according to him I am drop dead sexy. Not sure what you mean by lost respect office fling; it was his idea!!”

    of course it was his idea, the man wants something. i beleieve ur a attractive woman , so no real man is going to turn that down.
    libralady gave u good advice.

  31. leo female says:

    The Goat-

    I am sure it is good advice, just not me. Feels too much like game playing. I am way to straightforward and honest for that. To my detriment I guess.

    I don’t agree with you about the respect thing. There is a reason he became distant that I can’t talk about here and it had nothing to do with me. Then I think he used that as an excuse to back off when it finally hit him. He has absolutely no qualms whatsoever about an office romance.

    Why would he email from his office on a holiday weekend when no one in their right mind is working so he could tell me i need to start meeting him at the office on weekends? This is what I don’t get most. That is so confusing to me. I don’t hear from him for weeks then that email. Are we on or off??

    Hey, thanks though. Good to hear from the male perspective and from a cap since that’s his moon. Women can only surmise about what men think, how they react, but we will never really know.

  32. Ok, I wanna help beautibull out a lil. He is obviously attracted to you, and if he is giving penetrating eyes then he either likes you or he likes to mess with your head. I tend do that with a taurus girl, and she gets that same feeling and I ended up dating her, but she ended to be too crazy for me (going across the street and down the road). Anyways, I just wanna tell you this small tip, do not chase him or be persistent with him. Let him be the chaser, we love that it is very exciting. Flirt with him, mesmorize him…don’t be afraid to express feelings for him, because if you open up then he will open up. Personally I show respect toward that.

  33. Cap guy, I need an advice too!

    Im attracted to a work colleague too, I know that he is a cap, but he works for a different department, so our paths cross rarely (the organization we work for is huge, we are hundreds in the same building….), mainly in the canteen and cafeteria. 2 months ago he started to give me these penetrating eyes every time we cross, he eats in the same corner as me, he stops eating at the same time and comes into the cafeteria, but we never talked… he seems so shy. Maybe these crossings are purely casual and he doesnt feel a thing (my female intuition tells me something IS going on), but 2 weeks ago he told me “hello” for the first time (he doesnt know me, but I know his name, did a lil investigation:))).
    Im turning crazy, Id like to approach him! Im wondering if it is my fantasy….
    Should I have patience and wait him to approach me (if he really is interested…)? He seems very serious and workaholic and not playboy. Thanks!

  34. To Isadora <– Nice name lol.

    Ok, well your right he seems that he his shy. Ok, if he said "hello" then great.

    What you need to do is approach him,and talk to him. Get to know him a lil, but not too much. Be yourself, and throw a little humor in there.
    If he is as shy as I think he is, then he is not going to approach. Capricorns rarely do that. Just make sure you have a good bit to talk about, because we don't tend to say much. And definitly do not talk about work. lol. Good luck : ).

  35. R9, thanks for your advice!

    It seems that if I decide to wait for him to approach, I will be waiting forever. Yesterday we were at the cafeteria at the same time and I said hello to him (oh boy, his face lit up, he was so happy!). He is sooo cute…. mmmm… Then we exchanged 2 sentences, but as I was with someone else, he left with his cup of coffee. He seems so reserved and shy and serious…
    Im cap too, but with 4 scoprio placements, so Im pretty impatient. Today I wrote him an email (an hour ago, after work…), I couldnt wait longer… 3 lines “Id like to get to know you, wishing you happy xmas…. bla bla”. Waiting for the answer…. normally people dont check their work mail during the holidays, but he works in IT, so I hope he does… Im turning crazyyyy.

  36. libralady101 says:

    I’ve known this Capi for over 2.5 years I see him about every week, for a clinical massage if not, twice a month. The relationship had been strictly platonic until this summer. He’s a guy with few words. I always tell him what’s been going on with me, and he doesn’t say a heck of a lot. Since I see him so often, he asks me to do more with him erotic stuff, but not kinky as I’m not into it. He “just” started to touch me a little. I would see his hands move up, clench them, and put them down. He has incredible will power. A big rule was he wasn’t supposed to touch in anyway.. I did the dominating.

    I am in another relationship with my BF, and he just asked me if I were interested in casual sex… ya know, NSA. I can do that, no problem. I told him he had “free reign” on me now since we were already on the edge of sex. I e-mailed him the end of the week and mentioned something general to him, and said: “I admit, you got me curious” he said “LOL how so?” I said: “If you are sure, and the thought of you having control over me” I didn’t get a response. It’s only a few days.

    I could only imagine that he could be nervous or “thinking about it?” This all has been his idea, and I’ve been giving what he wants in my pace.

  37. Haha! I rather think he’s referring to you as a Hot Momma, rather than being a copy of his mother. That would be super awkward. I suggest you follow the suggestion given to you honey and see where it lead you! You go HOT MOMMA! 😉

  38. My best friend (a 24 yr old leo) had an affair with her manager (a 36 yr old cap). Not that I approve of it but as a friend I offered her my listening ear and advice which she never listens :p

    Here’s the thing, this cap dude is 36, married, with no children~ he is average looking but like most cappy guys, they have this irresistible charm to most women. And they take work so seriously, always so ambitious, and climbing up the leader…. which many colleagues or female co-workers find attractive. My leo friend and her cap manager were working for a project together… and then he started bbm-ing her… first, it just started with very casual topic… and few weeks later became quite inappropriate… They have been having this virtual affair for 8 months, nothing happened. So I thought this cappy guy takes work too seriously to want to mix it with pleasure…. And for some reason, on the 9th month, they actually decided to make out in the office after office hours!!! It was a one time thing… but yea, later my leo friend realized he has been bbm-ing 4 of her other colleagues too! Imagine how many other girls outside his office he has been holding this virtual affairs/ make-out sessions with. Hence, I think all those stuffs about Capricorn men being disciplined and taking work very seriously is bull :p Though it amazes me how this 36 cappy guy can perform at work, makes his wife at home relatively happy, and have numerous affairs with women who also seem happy?

    In fact, it’s kinda scarry that some cappy men can just “SHUT DOWN their CONSCIENCE”, commit adultery/ have affairs, and then convince themselves that there is nothing wrong *gasp*

  39. Cap men are so full of shyt, that they actually believe their own hype

    I swear the only positive Cap man I knew was my dad

    The other one, I could kill, honestly

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