How to get your Scorpio man to propose

  1. Come from a wealthy family. Scorpio has an incentive to marry into money, because then he gets half. Don’t ask him to sign a pre-nup — he will feel you don’t trust him (which you don’t), and he won’t get his share of the booty after the divorce.
  2. Withhold sex. Not entirely, because you want to give him a taste of what’s to come. But hold back on the dirty stuff, and promise him you’ll fulfill his kinky fantasies on the honeymoon.
  3. Blackmail him. Dig up some dirt, and let him know you’ll only keep his secrets if you two tie the knot.
  4. Tell him that only through marriage can he truly control you. (The “c” word is Scorpio’s favorite!) This institution, after all, was created to legitimize the sexual ownership of women.
  5. While you’re at it, give him carte blanche to screw around behind your back. He’s going to do it, anyway. (This one is courtesy of a Scorpio female!)

Comment below: How did you get your Scorpio man to the church on time?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. ROFL! This was hysterical!

    I know my girlfriends were a bit on the mysterious side for their husbands. Not secrets, but they were all just a bit interesting for the scorpio male to figure out. They also were not at his beck and call.
    Scorpio likes a challenge. Anything too easy and he is bored.
    And a little bit of kink went a long way.

  2. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    What came over me? It must be Mars conjunct Uranus.

  3. lol! whenever my scorpio man and i have a fight, i used to chase and coax him until he mellows down but then only to make things worse.now whenever we fight, i turned into a passive mood and says good night before he beats me to that.that would send him to chasing

  4. LOL!! TO funny u must b married to a Scorpio woman?? HA..yes, do come from a rich family, and witholding sex a little bit is a must..we luv challenges:) We thrive off of our catch, definitely be mysterious and don’t be afraid to be sensitive..O and almost forgot a must…(luv the ocean & food, we take those two things very seriously) and we will luv u!!!!!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I am a cap girl and I have been proposed by my scorpio (the most secretive man ever) after he realised that I have cheated on him. I guess it was some sophisticated vengeance from him:)But probably his craving to control me was stronger than his pride. After a year he still insist on the proposal and I am going to say yes eventualy…

  6. Virgo woman been friends w Scorpio guy 5 yrs. Both Christians. I never saw him other than friends but 6 mths ago he wanted to cross over line of friends date/sex. He’ says we are dating but wont tell anyone. Likes me allot and wants something ‘special’ with me but says he does not want to get married again. (divorce & child out of wedlock). He says he can only go so far in his heart than it stops. I’ve laid my feelings on the table. We get alot very well but at times he’ll pull away emotionally & visa-versa. But he keeps coming back to me. I’m I just being played a fool or is there a way in the far future I can get him into marriage with me? If so, how?

  7. hahaha i know who anonymous is…shes my scorpios psycho ex gf we went deleted and threw away all her pictures and we got rid of her cuz shes a cheating skank..we are going to get married either at the end of this month or next. Why would he want that hamburger meat back when he can have this filet minon?

  8. Phenix/scorpio says:

    I dont like caps that much either but thats pretty mean. Whats your sign?

  9. Alister Crowley says:

    I have fallin head over heels for a scorpio man. I am a pisces. We met when we were 16 and have been friends in and out of each others lives ever since. But now that we are both single, the heat has been turned wayyyy up..and I cant say I am looking to get married to him but I would like to keep him around… any suggestions? He seems to fit everything I have read about Scorpios….

  10. I say just let him know how you feel and how important it is to you if he loves you he will begin to proccess the equation and try to become your ideal and maybe not so ideal husband

  11. alister

    the best way to keep a scorpio is to stimulate his mind and explore sex like an adventure most of all just tell the truth we hate hate hate liars and manipulators.

  12. i am an aries girl and am compleatly in love with a scorpio guy…its funny bc the things it says on this site is EXACTLY what i do & he seems to like it…just wondering if theres any other important info out there i should know…? (he told me he wants to marry me btw! yaaay!)

  13. just be open we love to know our partners in and out we can even except short comings pretty well… but only when you bring it to us just dont hide things let your scorp choose for his self how to handle things more then likely he will never leave you if you do this

  14. Leo lady 8888 says:

    Myscorpio man and I have Broke up but just got back together.I’m moving away for college for a couple of years and he says he wants to put a ring on my finger while I’m gone and be together when I get back.
    There are no actions to back up these words..he says he loves me but its hard to tell. Is it possible he’s bullshitting?

  15. phenix scorpio says:

    leo lady if he says youll marry say yes and do it while were thinking that way we’ll mate for life when we choose to if not then :P sounds familiar in a way

  16. I’m a huge fan of scorpio men. it’s always a pleasure to be pursued by them. They don’t put on an act like cancers or gemini’s. They are very straightforward and don’t like to waste time in making you theirs. Their sense of urgency ends up getting the best of me (which means, they end up getting everything they want from me) :)
    Once you’re in the relationship, the key is to never overlook the subtlety and to never take them for granted. It goes sour with me and scorpios cuz i think I either get bored or I just don’t appreciate the too-subtle attention since I get a lot of attention and grander gestures from other men/society in general. I’m a sagittarius, fyi – the most extroverted act you’ll ever see come from an introvert – hahah!! So basically, sometimes, my need for introspection (my introvertedness) makes me flee for freedom/time to reflect and I consequently pretend to be annoyed or understimulated by the scorpio in contrast to how his competition pursues me, when, in reality, these other guys probably only see the outgoing side of my personality and don’t show any interest or understanding that I have other preferred methods of being (e.g. reading vs. doing keg stands at a party). Thankfully, scorpio can sense my true nature – even if he WERE to find me doing a kegstand. (personally I think scorpios are the best of the water signs because their interest in personality is genuine: pisces will only pretend to like you because they are people pleasers and cancers don’t have any interest in their girl’s personality at all – they just want them to ditch their careers, stay at home, and replace their mothers, which never works out, unless of course you’ve heard of a brain and body transplant service somewhere…?)
    Sooo, i I trust/like/want the scorpio enough to avoid fighting with him, then I can choose to not act on my craving for big-gesture attention (or use it as an excuse to satiate my commitmentphobia – or whatever it is). but, I think having this sense of personal action and the consequences thereof are for the more evolved sagittarius because most sags don’t really look at our actions/reactions in the world if we’re just looking for stimulation. Once a sag has grown-up a bit, however, and has found herself a scorpio who can swoop her off her feet for all the world to see, and then maintain that without getting lazy or comfortable, then sagittarius will make a great lover/friend/cheerleader/whatever he wants if scorpio can be both a star for himself (preferably a funny one) and also a BIG fan of hers, in public AND in private. If both know their game, and stay on top of it, I’m sure sag and scorpio will “make out” just fine (meaning, ‘stay on top of each other’ hahahaha!)

  17. confused Leo says:

    Am in love with a scorpio man and now we r expecting. Iunderstand how he works and feels about things.(Ithink) When together we have a good time and both voice that we don’t have 2 try hard when together, it’s natural. However every since the prenancy he has been holding back. When he did voice some of how he feels states he loves me but he is not in love with me. Not saying I can’t fall in love in future but am not right now. Am so hurt more so because we r expecting. I was a single mother for many yrs, my last child I want to have a family, with him. But I don’t wanna force anyone to be in love with me.I wanna ensure he is in love with. What do I do?

  18. I love this article. hahah! So funny. Keep it up!

  19. it’s so true they like the money. My scorpio was all about it. I could tell there was a heart in there somewhere but money was a huge distraction. He had so many irons in the fire. I am a scorpio too and we were a great match financially, and we are still in business together, but we had such a volatile, scary, controlling, game-playing relationship that neither of us bring it up or talk about it in any way. Marriage was on the table, but he didn’t want to be married to anyone, which broke my heart and I started secretly hating him. Crazy I know but that’s scorpio love ;) We were living as married for 3 years, and the deal breaker was when I bought a house and wanted to move the kids into the new school district he made sure I knew that he wasn’t coming with me :…( when I drew the last card, it was for good and I left. Best and Worst move of my life. Blackmailing doesn’t work, they’ll nail you every time and they have a straight up poker face. Also if you withhold sex, be ready to get cheated on. Sex is like religion, they don’t care what church they go to on Sunday.

  20. Sweetsugar says:

    I met this Scorpio man on a dating site and have been talking for only 1 mo and a half.. He lives 10hrs away from me and he said he wants to be with me and get me when he comes here.. I told my family about him except the being with him thing but they really don’t like him and makes him kinda upset.. Soo now I decided to be with him if he comes that made him happy as he said but I still feel nervous and scared.. I can’t understand why. He even said that he will not ask me to be with him if he doesn’t really love me.. You think this is true from a Scorpio guy.. And ohh bdw, I’m a Scorpio too. :)

  21. curious757 says:

    this article is funny. Good thing it’s not always true. Money is definitely IMPORTANT but some scorpio men are not gold diggers. They have their own ambition and money. If they’re lucky they find a woman from a good family, plus the ones i know personally (several of them) come from excellent families.

  22. curious757 says:

    *when i say from a good family i actually mean some good VALUES and it has nothing to do with status of wealth or station. Good family can be poor, middle class, ect but have strong values and won’t take advantage of someone’s wealth. that’s what i mean.

  23. Undrstnd I lv u…. plz… u mean d whole world 2 me… I cnt let u go…… I cnt sty wdout u….

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