Why does Pisces lie?
March 9, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner
Pisces has two planetary rulers: Jupiter (exaggeration and idealism) and Neptune (fantasy and imagination). So, whether you’re a traditionalist (those astrologers who think the solar system stops at Saturn) or a modernist, there’s a good explanation for Pisces’ deceptive nature.
Neptune governs illusions and delusions. Sometimes fantasy is preferable to reality, don’t you think? Can you blame Pisces the Daydreamer for spending more time in escapist thought than in the daily grind? And if he’s lying to you, how do you know he’s not lying to himself as well?
Jupiter (and this also goes for you Sagittarians!) doesn’t so much lie as expand on the truth, and overlook details. Signs ruled by this planet will ignore facts that don’t fit into their Grand Theory.
Tall tales, utter falsehoods. A lying Pisces is not likely to have malicious intent — he just doesn’t want to embrace reality as everyone else perceives it. That, or he doesn’t want to get caught!
Comment below: Have you caught your Pisces in a lie?
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"Oh, they're only interested in weed. I told them I would cut them a deal" Yeah, right a******. A) I buy the weed so I should know who you sell it to! B) Why are they in your phone? C) Weed, huh? That's why there's a weeks worth of missed, dialed, received phone calls. Last being 15 minutes at 12:30am after I was already asleep!!! I sniffed his underwear for a period of time and even recorded the days we had sex and days we didn't. Addressed him with that and he swears up and down he didn’t do anything…actually told me he wasn’t cheating in a very calm, adult manner. Now, this all happened in the past – this is the present – his phone has a lock on it…I know I know…BUT he comes home right after work, I know his schedule, etc. He never goes out either, never. He's asked me not to call him at work (which I hate) because he doesn't want attention from management. He "wants managerial opportunities and other opportunities" and I'm “ruining it” for him because everytime I call his coworkers are like "ohh, there's your girlfriend calling to check up on you again".
It's not even like that! I call to discuss who's going to get dinner, this or that bill that needs to be paid, etc. Never to be like "Hi, just thinking about you. Wondering what you're up to". So….I’m consciously telling myself NOT TO THINK something's up. And this is ON TOP OF ALL PISCES TRAITS. Our relationship has consisted of me "not getting it" and him being an a******. I do a lot…I mean A LOT in this relationship. He even said I was the only girl he's ever been with who he knows can be compatible with him on all levels of intimacy: emotional, spiritual, physical.
But…judging by what I’ve been through I don’t see that happening. Oh, did I mention I’m an Aquarius? Is it all clicking yet? Anyway, he’s spent the last 2 years trying to mold me, in my opinion, but he’ll deny that. He usually can tell what I’m thinking and he’ll be like “I’m not saying this to come off as me being emotionally or verbally abusive to you, but……” Two years of nonsense – ups and downs… right now I'm so fed up that I've chosen to not care about him anymore. This is very recent, but finally I've been the one to deny sex. I've been the one who doesn't say "I love you" back. Yes, he's noticed. Yes, he has tried to make me feel better… but just two days ago he said he was "numb" to our relationship.
He’ll say that he's thankful for his pets, the apartment, the tv and cable, his bike (all of which I’ve helped provide mind you)… "having all the luxuries I've never had before…and I don't have anything else going on right now so…" Ok, you don't have anything else going on right now? What does THAT mean?! No girl you're pursuing? About two weeks ago…we had *you guessed it* a bulls*** fight over petty stuff. I leave and go cool off and come back and I’m sitting there telling him “No matter what happens with us all that I ask is that you be with me and this relationship 100% till the very last day. Please don’t build a relationship with someone else and leave me for them”. He said nothing in return. Ugh. I guess my question is…when does the Pisces cheat? He’s definitely the Pisces that’s waiting for me to end it. He won’t. He’s even expressed that if I ever cheated he’d respect me on so many levels if I told him I did. I’m like “No, I’ve never cheated! I thought you were because of all the signs…”
Whats ur sign?
Aquarius
AquaTrainer, Why do you put up with it? GET SOME SELF ESTEEM GIRL.
Trinity – I know, I actually have. I guess I just had to have my last straw to finally quit caring about him. I’ve put myself first and, believe it or not, he wants me to put myself first. He’s been wanting me to call him on his bulls***, he’s been wanting me to not get over his immature behavior. I just quit caring about him and putting him first. And, I don’t know if there’s something in the air, but every man I see stares and smiles at me as of lately – so I know I got suitors if ever needed haha. That’s a self-esteem booster in itself.
I just separated the “us” factor during the day. He’s independent and I’m independent and, at least for him, that’s such a turn on. So, thank you Trinity – you’re right I was losing my self-esteem over the past 2 years. Often times I think I deserve a gold watch for the agony I’ve gone through in this relationship. But, no – all is not lost. I’m me. He’s him. That’s that.
@aqua trainer:
with all due respect, this guy here clearly treated you like shiz…you HELPED provide for his material possessions? when you are just friends, it’s one thing, but when you’re in a relationship, it’s a different story. and then you basically beg him to say ‘yes’ to you, to the relationship, to approve everything between you, and he can’t even say ANYHTING??this dude has been using you! i am so sorry to tell you, maybe Trinity here has already made her point, maybe not, but as a fellow ex-’piscean admirer’, you’ve made a huge mistake…
when you lose your self esteem like THAT for a man, it’s bad. when you LET HIM KNOW IT, it’s tragic. not only he will never consider you a girlfriend AGAIN, but odds are he’s pretty much i don’t know…don’t wanna be harsh, but one can dare saying ‘ashamed’ or even ‘irritated’ that you’re not disappearing faster from his life. sad but true.
i’ve gotten over my pisces man a couple of weeks ago, i’m currently seeing a taurus. i don’t want a relationship right now, would be too complicated. i love being a free rider:)
getting back at you, girl, srsly now….wtf is wrong with all these women PAYING for everything a man needs??? and they’re the first ones to jump at a bimbo’s throat when she’s married to a rich guy….WAKE UP, LADIES!!! cut the feminist crap and smell the coffee…HE’S USING YOU.
i’m sorry but it’s true.
True Jolie, once you give too mucH material possessions for a pisces tHey will milk you dry. If sometHing goes wrong tHey will try to do reverse psycHology or to make it seem you Had some blame. I am witH a pisces for a year and a Half and Have a daugtHer togetHer. I Never let Him run on me, I give Him THings but not mucH for Him to use me… He dont use me cause He know I would not be a dingy ones ‘tHat be like ok Honey wHatever you say Honey,’ THat is not me. Pisces are very funny tHougH. He would tell me His past stories witH women, and He will prey tHe Vulnerable ones. He will befriend or lust for tHe I need to be rescued women because He feels needed. He told me He would use a woman for tHeir possessions because THats all is offered so tHat is wHat He takes, not His fault ( He will say). He always say He can see someones spiritual make up, and He can tell tHru Bulls***. Pisces are very intuitive indeed. If my boyfriend said dont do tHis for a reason, I take Heed because it comes true 95% of tHe time!
Dominicana_Libra – can you fix the uppercase H problem on your computer? My spam filter always queues your comments for moderation.
Jolie – Yes, I know when I’m being used. I’ve helped provide for things… it’s been 50/50 really. Haha, I know if I leave the relationship I’m taking the tv and the furniture and maybe even one of his precious dogs. Why? Because those items will equivilate to my retired cops gold watch. I’ve paid my dues. But, as of right now – I don’t feed into his bullcrap and he’s actually thinking of stuff to throw at me to see how I’d react. It’s not working neener neener neener haha. I finally am on the same playing field (or so I think) with his mentally and I’m saying “I’m not playing the game you said I made up”.
@ AquaTrainer:
I did not mean to be hurtful in any way and please excuse the ‘acidity’ in my tone. I was in a very bad mood because of this Pisces man i was dating. I did not mean to offend you nor to make any innuendos that you might be weak or naive to let the guy use you.
i am sorry to hear this guy is such a scumbag. i don’t know you or the other girls here on the forum, who’re going through the same experiences (being used by Pisces men, for one purpose or another or in one way or another), but i am sure everyone acted in their own way well, out of feelings, love, attraction, trust, whatever those might be, which means that cool and nice people like us (i dare to include myself in the same category, women on whom Pisces men have basically spitted, can’t find other words) shouldn’t waste their potential on them.
I assume you are very hurt now that you assess the relationship in material terms and realize this dude hasn’t been what you expected. I am so sorry because i know what it feels like…
I know that some people, no matter their signs, are a-holes. But i also know that Pisces are particularly material, selfish and manipulative. No offense to all the pisceans but every sign has its own flaws- i am a cancer and i can be moody, hysteric, negatively imaginative, controlling, talkative, etc.
I think the best way to deal with this guy is to take your things, literally leave him with what he had when you entered his life (be ruthless. take EVERYTHING except for less expensive things, such as a birthday card or something). i know this is not a polite manner to deal with a break up (in case you’re breaking up, lol, sorry to be presumptuous but i’m just saying..) but remember that pisces are VERY material especially when love has worn off and they’ve remained in the relationship (as i understood from your comments). by showing him you can be MORE material than him and taxing him down to absolutely everything you’re going to hurt him big time. he’s going to start wondering why are you acting like that and showing him your ‘uglier’ side when he knew you were ‘naive’, generous and he never imagined you’d end up doing this.
then his own paranoia will start. is she REALLY out of love, THAT much? hmmm i thought the opposite…is she just hurt? but if she takes everything and becomes a calculated material ‘accountant’ then there are no feelings left for me…is she seeing someone else? (always be dolled up and perfumed, pisces are extremely sensitive to women’s appearance) why is she LIKE THAT? and he will start thinking, and thinking, and thinking…and going back and forth until he’s going to start feeling sorry. and if my calculations are right (i am a water sign as well so i kinda know what we water signs do under such circumstances) he will start feeling overwhelmed with uncertainty, decreasing self-confidence, and most important of all, he will feel powerless, when he knew he had a great deal of power over you.
maybe i’m overreacting here, like giving you advice in case of a potential breakup, but this guy sounds like an idiot and a worthless person. nobody has the right to treat someone like i understood he treated you (abused you, materially, then throwing things at you????!!!!), and if you’ve put up with this shiz it means you’re a good person who wanted to see the goodness in him as well. well….if you ever need this advice, my take is you should take it. i tried it when i ended my story with my Piscean guy and it worked. still calls and texts…SILENCIO COMPLETO! nada! i’m not going back there. don’t want to.
and remember this cliche, which is incredibly true- the one who will come after a guy will always be better…
good luck!
Jolie – I didn’t mean “throwing stuff at me” in a literal, physical form. I meant words. He throws me words to intentionally test my reactions. As far as furniture, it’s my furniture and so far, I’ve been the only one making payments on the tv and the cable. But, no, where our relationship is right now he’s too lazy for change i.e. to break-up with me. He’d rather spend his breath and his mind on changing me piece by piece molding me into his perfect woman. He’s said I’m a great girlfriend BUT I just have this or that quality that throws a bad apple into the batch making the whole batch bad. I don’t know – I listen to what he says, but I know my mind works differently than his. My opinion, on ANYTHING, is considered “arguing” if it’s different than his – all the time actually. We both have one foot out the door as far as our relationship is concerned, but I don’t think anyone will be leaving the other until the holidays are over. All gifts are bought and paid for. Yeah, when and if I leave this Pisces I’m gonna find myself a Libra (supposed to be very compatible). I was not offended by anything you said at all, so please don’t worry yourself over that. I’m very hippy-ish haha
Oh sorry, i thought he was throwing stuff at you grrrrr!
anyway, i really hope you will solve your problems with your boyfriend. life’s too short to get upset that often…generally speaking. i’ve come to terms with many ugly things in my life by understanding this….
i wish you all the luck in the world and merry holidays (that’s such a cliche hehe, but still..)
Okay, well this is sort of an update. Our attitudes towards each other actually changed when the other day I was trying to be cute about him five-finger-discounting chapstick from his work. I thought he was playing around then I noticed he was seriously taking my cuteness as accusing. I playfully said “don’t get so defensive” then he was like “quit accusing me of being a chapstick thief!” I was like “ok ok time out! I was just messing with you and trying to be cute about it” and he was like “well, you didn’t come off that way.” I preceded to explain that everyone else knows when I’m joking – especially me! Was like “I love you! I’d never do anything of malicious intent or animosity to hurt you and your feelings”. He actually believed me (which he should)…. and since then life has been GREAT!! Not to mention something good came out of something very bad i.e. I fell asleep at the wheel a week ago and totalled my car. I’m OKAY!..But, with the insurance companies, claims, lawyers, officers, etc. I’ve found myself calling a lot of people finding a lot of answers! Within less than a week I bought a car in cash and got a replacement cellphone….oh did I mention my new car is the first manual I’ve ever owned?! Anyway, this has really pleased my Pisces that I’m being so mature about all of this that he is literally cooking every night, buying the groceries, and doing whatever it is I ask him… and my legs are getting weak from all the sex lol. But, as of RIGHT NOW I’m counting my blessings in disguise and doing everything I can to keep it this way. So, everything is looking on the ups! ^_^
Heya everyone. . .So I just came across this site while I was thinking about this Pisces man I like. He’s totally nice at the moment, I love the way he talks to me, he tells me about his family (my astrologer friend told me Pisces love their families) and he loves his guitar, listening to songs, watching movies. . .All the things associated with the Arts, he just loves. So far what I’ve read of this star sign has all turned out to be true. I mean there was a time when he lied to me. Actually, I’ve only known this guy through the ‘net. I’ve been talking to him for seven months now. He showed me images of this actor at first, saying it was him. When I found out the truth about that, he told me that actually he wanted to show me real images of him, then he showed me a whole album but that was of another actor. Slowly I figured he was lying. . .We’ve been through a lot, we’ve argued a lot but in the end we’ve always made up. A lot of people tried causing arguments between us, our friendship has been good throughout. Only recently did I try thinking about how things could be like if we were to be more than friends. . .After finding out that Pisces are total dreamers, I thought all what he says to me is part of his dreamworld. Like he had a dream that we got married and he came to my city just to meet me and he said when he turns 20, he’ll come here and take me away with him. . .As much as I want to believe that, I know it’s not true. I don’t think he’d do that, he’s shy to talk on the phone. He won’t let me take his number and call him, let alone meeting up! I’m totally addicted to him, I can’t stop talking to him thought I tried staying away for a few days but I just ended up crying my eyes out and being a depresso! Then I just went back to talking to him. He was totally not happy with me leaving him for those couple of days and even now when I talk to him, he thinks that I’ll leave him again. He loves my jealousy when he talks to other girls, my mad possessiveness (which all comes naturally, I actually didn’t know I was acting jealous or being possessive) and he tells me he loves the way I care and shout at him when he does something careless. I love him. . .Like seriously, a lot. He’s always on my mind but I’m scared that if he’s not serious, I should stop before I lose myself! What to do?!
If he’s ugly, you have nothing to worry about and he most likely will move up there. If he’s hot…forget it.
I don’t think a hot Pisces would stay online all day talking to some girl, lol. He most likely doesn’t have the best looks but that’s not what I care about, I just wish he would tell me the truth ’cause he does tend to put up a fake face sometimes saying he has lots of friends (who all, apparently so, are girls) and he talks of a really high profile life. . .What I don’t understand, is if you have a high profile life and lots of friends, why would you stay online all day? Most of his lies are just to impress and I don’t think he actually realises he hurts me at times. He doesn’t mean to. Thanks for your help AquaTrainer! =]
Starless: Be careful, he may be a serial killer or some old pervert preying on you. I’m not trying to discourage you, but you sound like you may be young & there are a lot of wierdos out there especially on the internet. So just be very wise about it & if you do meet him ever make sure it’s in a public place with a strong guy friend. Never go alone or in private to meet him if you ever do.
I understand what you’re trying to say ScorpioGirl. I’ll keep it in my mind, thanks! =]
By the way, have any of you been on The Pisces Man Socyberty, that’s quite an intriguing blog too?
The Sting-
I cheked it out. Very insightful but nothing we didn’t already know!!!
Thanks for the site info…
Jolie glad to see you are no longer with that creep. You deserve better. Maybe a more mature Pisces man if there is such a thing.
i cant believe how all pisces men are liars,
Welp….some see that they’re manipulators and some don’t. The ones who do are able to stop it. I think it varies from individual to individual.
Pisces men are good for awhile.
Scout-
Concise and too the point…”nuff said….
How can I( pisces) make my boyfriend(saggitarus) stay commited? I do everything for him so I wonder whats wrong?
@ DandM-
stop doing everything for him…..THAT’S what’s wrong. relationships are a TWO way street…..
Well, I’ve dated 2 pisces men and both relationships ended badly. They are not very strong individuals and LIE alot. My last relatiohnship ending a couple of months back. I don’t miss him as much, time heal all wounds, however, I gave to him and was there for him better than he was there for himself, do I want him back, no, he’s not a good provider, a matter of fact, it was hard for me to get ahead with him, he was always broke or messed his paycheck up every pay period there were issues, he was nickel and diming me until I closed my purse and stop feeding him. I started uncovering alot of lies regarding this finances and I’m so grateful that GOD saved me from marrying this guy. At first yes it hurt, however, now I can truly say that ending the relationship was the best thing for me and my daughter. I gave alot however, when we ended the relationship he lost alot of the things that I gave him. I do not want to date another pisces man, because they just don’t add up nor strong enough mentally to handle a leo woman. It was a good experience, however, I have learned from this costly mistake that if the man does not have his own, especially at the age of 40 something, don’t even waste your time, there is a story there. Pisces men love playing the victim. I’m just thankful that I’m out of the relationship. He was never satisifed with what he had, he always wanted more and never respected the value of a dollar. I pity the next woman that comes across him.
The thing about pisces men, we don’t like to hurt women’s feeling just like every other considerate man out there. There are some of us who are good men you know. We don’t lie we tell the partial truth, you women just gotta know how to ask the questions to get the responses you want. AND DON’T come at us with answers to YOUR ASSUMPTIONS or CRAZY THOUGHTS that is ANNOYING. When a woman approaches me like that I really don’t care about my answers because she thinks she knows already, so it’s whatever to me and be on your way. While I’m on to the next one, she is left standing wondering WTF happened.
Wow I feel much better reading all your posts! Me and my pisces of 3 yrs just broke up for good! It was def a turbulent relationship and towards the end I was just feeling used cause he didnt have a lot of money and I would feed him, makes sure he had smokes, pay when we went out etc. Then he finally got a paycheck and I didnt hear from him for a few days, I was pissed! He was also still seeing his ex wife saying that they were just friends but she would always call him, and the straw that broke it was her calling on a friday night at 2am! I couldnt take it anymore,knew he was not being honest about something. Then two days later I tried to talk to him about it and he stopped responding to my texts and didnt answer when I called! So I drove over to his house to hash it out once and for all. The ex wife was there!!! H
Wow I feel much better reading all your posts! Me and my pisces of 3 yrs just broke up for good! It was def a turbulent relationship and towards the end I was just feeling used cause he didnt have a lot of money and I would feed him, makes sure he had smokes, pay when we went out etc. Then he finally got a paycheck and I didnt hear from him for a few days, I was pissed! He was also still seeing his ex wife saying that they were just friends but she would always call him, and the straw that broke it was her calling on a friday night at 2am! I couldnt take it anymore,knew he was not being honest about something. Then two days later I tried to talk to him about it and he stopped responding to my texts and didnt answer when I called! So I drove over to his house to hash it out once and for all. The ex wife was there!!! He said ” shes feeding me, there is nothing going on!” I was done! I didnt talk to him for 2 days and so he calls her so he can eat?! My eyes are truly open now to his ways. He was just using me, maybe there were some actuall human feelings for me in him somewhere but it doesnt matter anymore. He was a scumbag! And he had the audacity to suggest that we be friends after that. I would like to be just friends with him but he would attempt to take advantage of me and the whole mess would start again, blah! Leaves a sour taste in my mouth!
Sounds to me like every one of you are too much into drama and need to clear up a lot of baggage. You can’t blame all your pain on other people… you play a big part in it just by giving it more life and putting it out there for the world to see. Stereotyping is just plain wrong… When you act clingy and needy you turn your significant other off. Plain and simple. Doing too much for someone else invites being used and abused. Martyrdom is outdated… it went away long ago. You women need to GROW UP! This is coming from a woman.
@JF_1961 Well, woman. . .We girls do have hearts and it is hard to move on, it’s hard to stop loving someone. How an so easily tell us to grow up?! If you’re so grown up and you think we’re all drama etc. why even drop a comment here?! GOD!
Well i’m back here to make a little comment, like a small update of what’s been going on with me and my ex pisces.
first of all-
@ JF_1961- you’re right with the clinginess and helplessness and everything. it’s true that ALL men get tired and bored and everything by this kind of women, i mean even i would, if my female friends would be like that! but in this case is different. the people writing on this blog are just normal folks whose hearts have been broken, or whose dignity has been shredded…and they just want to understand why. i used to think i knew it all but it’s not like that-an outsider might be objective and unbiased, but for sure we don’t know what happens behind closed doors and how things evolve that so many girls/guys feel the need to write about their torments. hope you understand what i mean-don’t generalize.
sooooo after a while of not writing anything here i decided to get back for a little update. i haven’t met my ex pisces guy for a while, and i haven’t been ‘cleaner’.
what happened is that we had a little/big argument in which i snapped at him and basically told him, without making a scene and being completely respectful and all, everything that bothered me. and i just ranted and ranted for a while…then i started saying things i wish i didn’t, meaning i said things i thought he wanted to say to me. like he doesn’t matter at all to me, he’s just a sex partner, etc. exactly all sorts of things i thought HE thinks about me. i was inclined to suspect he’d laugh or downplay it, make a little joke and then jump in the sack (as usual, water signs tend to change the subject whenever it gets uncomfortable) but he got all upset and offended over it. WTF? since when have men become sensitive to being objectified??? and in the GOOD way!!! anyways. i wanted to believe him but something was telling me he wasn’t honest. words say one thing, actions another, you know how they say.
so yeah. we slept together afterwards (makeup sex or something like that…) and then i haven’t heard from him anymore. just nothing. then little messages, nothing particular, nothing extremely personal…and we used to have phone sex and hot text each-other. dayum! i didn’t miss him or anything but i needed that degree of intimacy…and missed the sex as well. and was still upset over the nasty a$$hole thing i previously debated here.
in any case. i am truly over this guy (i’m lying) and i never wanna hear from him again (i’m lying again, i would love to see him rolling on the floor in pain and being tormented by jealousy like i was). seriously now. he was a positive presence in my life (up to a point, as someone here said earlier), and i started thinking about getting more of it, since he seemed inclined as well. but then he seemed too eclectic to be read and i just got beaten down on the way. meaning i just got tired and too hurt and too whatever to continue. i’m a Cancer and i’m sensitive and paranoid and need a lot of attention. this guy was just acting all weird and making all these wrong steps i just couldn’t take it anymore. it’s a weird thing with us, Cancerians. we have an excellent intuition but sometimes, when we like someone, we unconsciously project these expectations that totally cloud our better judgment and we hope like crazy, and when these things turn out to be a big huge pile of bull$hit, we STILL don’t wanna believe it, we keep making excuses for the guy and trying to find the good side in everything. at least that’s what i did. and i can never forget about my ’serious’ side either- what if burning all the bridges with this guy will later mean something? what if he’s an idiot now, but in two years i’m gonna meet him again i don’t know, like in a work situation (virtually impossible but i’m paranoid, as i said), and need him, or just need that little spark so the situation won’t get uncomfortable?’. you get it. with Cancerians, it’s ALWAYS ups and downs.
anyway, i am finally getting to the point. after not having heard from him in a while, he slowly started to ‘talk’ again. ofc he doesn’t call, he hasn’t yet met the telephone, but he facebook-messages, invites me to all sorts of events and stuff like that. i just get angry, really angry. do you like me, or not? why do you want my company? what do you want to be friends for? what have i done to deserve being treated like that (he told me some very upsetting things and i felt offended)? and if i’m such a big pain in the ass for you, why do you still want me around?
now that i’m calm and clear, i can see IT’S FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL BENEFIT. this is how pisces are, a$$holes. i’m sorry to generalize but this guy has been the weirdest idiot ever. i mean i used to go like this- my mother once told me that no matter what culture, age, race, background and so forth a man and a woman are, if he REALLY likes/is interested in her, he will make it visible. simple as that and i must say i 99% of the time believe this. if you want something, really want it, then you do things to have it. cut and dry. if he wants, he calls. he’s not in junior high, he can afford it, we have a past together, so i don’t know where the problem is. i was usually afraid that, by going with this ‘if he likes me, i’ll know’ thing i’m actually going to miss things, or i’m actually wrong, or i actually have to put more effort into it…into WHAT? there’s nothing that motivates me to go back and if i do it, it will be like tying myself to the chair and giving him the whip. it’s again, the eternal hoper Cancerians have inside- ‘what if he’ll change?’. and the other person inside says ‘he never did, he never will’, and so on and so forth…
it’s hard. like quitting smoking. you feel the need for it although you’ve told yourself a thousand times it’s wrong and unhealthy.
the worst thing is i don’t feel for him. my feeling is one of failure, of self-depreciation. he just didn’t show me what i wanted him to, so i’m being vain and selfish myself. sigh. everybody is. whatever.
so yes. i just keep saying no to him though it’s tantalizing. i am not going back, our story is over, but he keeps teasing me just to see if he can still have me, and i must say it’s tempting. but i’m holding on and remind myself he’s a douche, and i could have 1000 like him in a minute. i don’t know what’s going on or what’s gonna happen. i have very mixed feelings about this man, i actually can’t even tell what the eff i’m feeling anymore. it’s VERY weird- i don’t feel sentimentally tied to him yet every time i see a message from him my heart starts beating faster. if i see him with some girl in a pic on facebook i get jealous even if they’re just friends. i want him and i don’t.
all in all, i think this is the Pisces effect. maybe that was his purpose, to make me feel dizzy and not knowing anything anymore. flooring me for good, right. well..i’m hanging on. it’s not about him insisting and me being tempted, but it still is something. that just isn’t enough for me, but the thought of leaving the last cookie on the plate kills me.
if anyone has a piece of advice, please help.
to jolie:
here’s my advice, by a pisces man:
1) don’t take it too serious. be patient, be kind, make up your mind to “experience _good_ ‘times’”. now, it’s saturn retrograde in libra – we all are challenged to asses our close relationships. it’s easy to find faults.
2) also, it’s mars retrograde in leo. that makes for bold moves – due to frustrated desires & anger.
3) there’s venus-conjunct-uranus, upcoming venus/pluto, upcoming venus-opposition-saturn next week: that is “disruption”, it’ll come to inhibition, frustration, separation.
-> _if_ your “love” is strong & real & rooted in mutual benefit, it’ll grow. if it’s just individual craving… – it’ll end. there’s simply too much energies building up in the skies to continue unhealthy relations.
-
if i may say so: cultivate & nourish your heart enjoying being with him. & use that kind of heart/energy/love… to move on
btw, pisces don’t “lie”, the way a scorpio or capricorn would judge it. a lot of pisces are simply “lost” in realms of mind, no-one ever taught them to master
thanks a lot for the advice. last night i was just crazy ranting.
wow. less than 24 hours later haha!
i realize(d) i was employing way too much energy and thought into something too unripe…it wasn’t a normal relationship. but i’m done now with the thinking of it, rummaging in it, trying to dissect and everything else. it’s just what it is, no use being upset over it. i know there are 1000 men out there better than him as there are 1000 women better than me/the ones he prefers. it’s like we’re ‘both’ inadequate for each other. it was just a craving. i’m moving on now
thank you for your time anyways. it’s so cool to have someone, especially a Piscean, helping out! I’m a Cancer and always go around the Cancerian questions, hoping to help out.
My last post may have seemed a bit short and cold to some of you. I’m sorry for that impression.
I have actually been going through a major heartbreak in the last year myself and I know what it feels like. I’ve been twisted up inside and crying for months.
The lesson I’ve learned is that we are responsible for so much more in our lives than we take credit for. We put too much onto others to make or break our happiness. If you are not happy within yourself, no one else can make you happy. They can do things that feel good, they can say things that make you feel good, but THEY can’t make you happy. You give others too much power over you if you get caught up in their drama. It’s not easy to see at first, and when you do catch on, it’s really tough to walk away from. But, you have to be stronger than that.
Every challenge we face is a growing experience and should give us more insight in the future to warn us if we see the same behavior coming up in future relationships. Try changing the type of guys/women you date. If you keep going for the same type all the time, you’ll keep getting the same results.
If there is too much conflict between you, then it is NOT the right relationship. If there are too many differences in outlook, values, lifestyle, spiritual beliefs, etc. then your journey together will be a very, very rocky road. That is NOT what healthy love is.
I’ve seen enough truly “in love” and loving couples to know that when the love is right, there are 95% good days and rarely a bad day. They weather the storms with love instead of conflict.
Every man, woman and child of every sign has their character traits that are good, bad and ugly. Stop focusing on the bad that only gives you more bad. Look for the good, you will start to see the good. It’s one of the many laws of nature.
Set boundaries for what is acceptable to you and stick to them. If anyone attempts to tread over them and you allow it, then you can only blame yourself for the damage to your heart and spirit. Love yourself more, that’s all I’m really trying to say here. You need to love YOU first, then you can love someone else in a healthy way not a codependent way.
@ JF_1961:
that’s true, but the thing is, i’ve tried many many times to get over this ‘don’t make yourself his/her doormat’, ’set boundaries’, ‘communicate’ etc, and it never works.
i mean…it does in theory. it’s always SOMETHING in the middle, you know. it starts lovely and then things appear. whether it’s about the major ones, like having a child together, splitting bills, getting married, etc, or the little details like who calls who, flirting with other people in public, the voice tone or stuff like that, every story has its own side. and mine is definitely not different. as much as i want it to be, it isn’t, because many things have happened and left me feeling very bad. in many cases i made the wrong choice. maybe i was too demanding, but on the way of being too demanding i ended up letting myself for too little…i hope that makes sense.
a small example: in the beginning of my ‘thing’ with the pisces guy i used to respect myself, be friendly but decent, never show too much desperation, like being all over him, i was just nice and a perfectly cute girl. well..nothing happened. i wasn’t thinking of him at that time because i was in the breakups with a Leo (and that was really tough..) so this Pisces didn’t take over me at all in the beginning. i was exactly how you say- not thinking about it at all, and things just weren’t moving. he wasn’t calling, he wasn’t doing anything (i mean he was, but sparsely, once every three weeks, or so). so he was interested but busy at work. what’s in this for me? nothing. what does one get from this? nothing. i mean you have to throw yourself in to realize you’re’ in. otherwise it’s like it hasn’t even been in the first place. (it= relationship, fling, thing, whatever you want).
so yeah. i also said i will make myself respected. monday morning i was definitely up to it. tuesday i missed him. on wednesday i went back to being respected. thursday i was still sad, feeling almost sore. where is he? why isn’t he calling, so i’d give him a piece of cold shoulder and a taste of his own medicine, i. e. tell him i’m too busy? nada. just me and my thoughts. by friday i was all sad and depressed because i still missed him (the worst is, you can’t control feelings) and when he called, saturday night, a booty call, ofc, i’d be on top of the world- i’d finally meet him! i can’t be all mean and ‘cold’ now, i thought, since we haven’t talked in so long..so screw it now, i’ll do it after a while of him ‘getting used with me’. guess what, the same scenario repeated. it’s like being someone’s doll on a shelf- waiting for that person to pick u up, play with you, then abandon you and take you back after a while during which you’ve been uber ranting and depressed….
that’s why my boundaries cracked. im that kind of person who really puts everything in, and i couldn’t tell him anything because he never gave a sign he’d really like me as well in the first place. then if he didnt say anything, why should i, to humiliate myself? and then i just kept my mouth shut when things accumulated, while everything affected me and while i missed him so much. he didn’t say or do anything. i didn’t either. to f*** with it, if i’m getting nothing out of him, at least i won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing i had some feelings for him. (getting smth out of it= having my emotions reciprocated).
so that’s the thing that breaks that respectful boundaries story. i’m one of the idiots who did it, and i guess everybody here did it as well (they’re not ‘idiots’, im just being hyperbolic for the sake of it)….
@ JF_1961:
“Love yourself more, that’s all I’m really trying to say here. You need to love YOU first, then you can love someone else in a healthy way not a codependent way.”
that’s what i say too, woman. i’ve heard your voice — now, what are ways to implement it? what are ways & techniques to share with loved ones — that are going to break down these days? what are ways to engage freedom of individual growth… while same time encourage commitment, nourishment, growth between sexes/partners?