Scorpio and Cancer break the ice

Scorpio: So, you seen any good movies lately?

Cancer: Oh, I watched ‘Terms of Endearment’ last night, for like, the hundredth time.

Scorpio: ‘Terms of Endearment’? How sappy! I wanna see ‘Zodiac.’ Now that’s a movie I can get into. Murder, creepiness …

Cancer: Gross! How can you even watch that stuff? I’d be rolled up in a ball the entire movie.

Scorpio: [Grins.] I’ll protect you!

Cancer: Please, let’s change the subject. So, what do you do for a living?

Scorpio: [Pause.] If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

Cancer: Ha ha! No, really.

Scorpio: I’m not kidding.

Cancer: [Long pause.] OK, um … I’m gonna get another drink.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    ROFL! That was funny and true!
    I was engaged to a cancer once.. He was such a sap. I am sure he is great for someone else, just not me. The flowers, sappy movies and other overly romantic gestures were too much.
    The kicker for me was when he bought a house without asking me and then announced I wouldnt have to work once we got married so I’d have time for the 8 kids he wanted. HAH!
    Romantic for some.. Creepy to me.

  2. Goddess says:

    Wow. I recently started dating a Cancer and I am wondering where it will go. I am a Virgo. He cant be any more controlling than my ex-Capricorn. What signs should I be looking for in this future Cancer Virgo relationship?

  3. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    goddess,

    The answer to that is best addressed in a future post. But for now, you can read What a Virgo man finds sexy about a Cancer woman

  4. Sagilarious says:

    You are very accurate with these dialogs Jeffrey. Me and a Scorp are similar, but with a Sag twist:

    Sag: Ah, you’re gonna kill me? Hehe, weirdo. That’s not so scary! You’re intriguing.

    Two weeks later, Sag is alone in her room:

    Sag: My God, he wasn’t kidding. I’m never doing that again!!!……..Well, maybe, for like….a week.

  5. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    Sag,

    My talent for fiction stops at short dialogues. I tried short stories years ago, and quickly cut my losses.

  6. Sagilarious says:

    I think short stories would be a blast! They couldn’t have been that bad! I could tell you some real life ones to get em’ going. I have dated most of the zodiac, unfortunately. Some were traumatizing, some boring. But, not everyone wants to hear a Sag combo. I have definately started to notice consistencies with certain signs as “boyfriends” though. Taurus only calls to see where you are and possibly who you are with, Libra calls to talk your ear off, Pisces calls because he sensed you were thinking about him, haha, Scorpio calls because it is your lucky day, and you better not take it for granted. Sag calls cause he will be in town again for a week before he heads out of the country (you haven’t heard from him since he VANISHED off the radar randomly months ago). Capricorn calls because it is the logical next step to building a relationship (how BORING).

  7. Christy Zutautas says:

    Oh, that’s funny…we scorpio’s aren’t really all that creepy…okay actually we are…I would definitely rather watch CSI than a romantic movie…but I’ll take the flowers if they come with chocolates too….lol.

  8. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    Christy,

    Thanks for the link! Judging from your list of recent publications, I would not be surprised if you had some strong Cancer in your chart:

    * True Real Estate Stories

    * Create Your Own Personalized Framed Picture

    You may be more of a romantic than the typical Scorpio!

  9. mawgawrita says:

    male cancer: I recently realized/decided were sexually compatible
    female scorpio: we have been seeing each other for four years!

    I am the female scorpio in this and it is a good thing I am very patient-I just love him so much! 🙂

  10. Anonymous says:

    does this combination generally work well? any thoughts on the female cancer, male scorpio match? his ex was a scorpio and my ex was a pisces, aren’t both supposed to be compatible? so, i’m not sure about this one.

  11. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    Overall, Scorpio and Cancer are a good match. They are both water signs, so they express themselves emotionally. However, any number of other chart factors contribute to compatibility.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I’m a Cancer female and love to read true crime novels and watch crime shows! Scorpios are mysterious 🙂

  13. Blah Blah says:

    I’m a Cancer with a Scorpio moon and I would’ve jumped all over seeing “Zodiac!” BOTH versions 🙂

  14. Blah Blah says:

    By the way, love the name Sagilarious. Good play on words combining your zodiac sign with what Sags are most famous for – your sense of humor!

  15. I just recently started seeing a Cancerian man, I have never dated one before, I am a Scorpio, I really like him already and want this to work, how can I be assured of a great match?
    How do I know if he is into me?
    He is born July 1st, me on November 21st, any tips or knowledge anyone??
    Pam Z

  16. Anonymous says:

    LOL! I had almost that exact conversation with my best friend! (im a scorpio shes a cancer)
    This is how it went:

    scorpio: So, you seen any good movies lately?

    Cancer: Oh yah. I just got finished watching Life as a house…I cried.

    Scorpio: “Life As a house”? again?! CHEESEY! Oh dude you have got to go see silent hill with me.

    Cancer: There is NO way your EVER going to make me see thaT!

    Scorpio: Pansy

    Cancer: So?! I dont care..NEXT SUBJECT. What did you do this weekend?

    Scorpio: [Pause.] If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

    Cancer: Ha ha! No, seriously

    Scorpio: I’m not kidding.

    Cancer: [Long pause.] umm Nini your creepy

    (Nini is my nickname)

  17. Anonymous says:

    Im a scorpio and Cancers are by far my favs. Even though they are all Pansys when it comes to gore movies. I’ve been Best friends with a cancer for almost 10 years. I remember growing…she could never stand up for herself.. and I was lets say..not a very good kid. I remember giving at least 8 little boys bloody noises for pickin on her…And since we are both girls I never minded her clingyness.. I would lead she would fallow…. My fav movies where the matrix, Xmen, hocus pocus. While she liked The lion king, and sleeping beauty. I was a tomboy, and she was the girly girl who liked to where pig tails and dresses.. We were like exact oppisites, but clicked so well. Damn I miss her (havent seen her in 2 weeks)

  18. Haha, this is uncanny. I have had a very similar conversation to this with a Scorpio man before.

    Emphasis on the ‘I’ll protect you’ part. Hee!

  19. Anonymous says:

    Well, I’m a Cancer and I’d definatley go for Gore over sap, so that’s strange. Haha, but golly, my Scorpio and I can go on for hours off on that stuff…a nice repartee full of inuendos.

  20. Executive Crass says:

    I’d go for Gore too. He’s soooo sexy 😉

  21. Anonymous says:

    lol… omgosh it’s pretty true over all… as in the general jest. the scorpio man offering protection and wanting that control… the appeal in the “danger” written all over is face… something about him tho… jus can’t say no

  22. I am a 5x scorpio and I can say this monologue is pretty funny, but accurate. I love that whole scarring the Cancer off and wanting to watch the scary movie part soooo…true! I love my scary movies anything having to do with the paranormal is exciting. I would so much rather go to a haunted hotel in England than to go on a carribbean cruise and that says alot considering i just love the ocean..

  23. Cancer Cutie says:

    I have been reading all the comments and some are true about cancers and some are kind of pushing it. I’m a Cancer and I LOVE CSI and SVU and X-Men and Iron Man and such. I love all the movies that my Scorpio friend likes. I also like P.S I Love You and Little Women. I love to give my friend presents when he is in a bad mood and I like to cook too. I think some of you that put a person down for doing something nice for you may have some issues. Someone said that most cancers don’t stick up for them selves. I remember in high school giving some people bloody noses for assuming I was a pushover. I remeber being the one stickng up for those that no one else would stick up for. Cancers are probably the best people to have on your side if you are in conflict with someone for they will be loyal (when no one else is) and will stand with you to the bitter end. Don’t mistake sappieness for weakness. Cancers are very strong, very loyal, very true and protective to those they Love and care about. We wear our heart on our sleeve and that is why we can get hurt more easey that others.

  24. 5xscorpio says:

    This is funny!

    Here’s a real conversation between me (Scorpio) and someone I met this Saturday who is a Cancer:

    him: meeting time
    me: You said that awhile back, have fun at the meeting
    (30 minutes later)
    him: That’s because I had a meeting at 11 that ended at 11:30, and an 11:30 that began at 11:40.
    me: I’m just teasing.
    me: I need a full accounting of your schedule for today!
    (pause of few minutes w/ no response)
    me: damn Cancers!
    him: Why am I damned to heck?
    me: I’m kidding. It’s because I jokingly asked for an accounting of your schedule and you didn’t respond, but it was all in jest.
    him: Hah, well
    me: I’m not *that* creepy
    him: heh
    me: I mean I’m kind of creepy…
    him: in a good way of course
    me: an adorable sort of creepy
    me: a creepy you can cuddle with him: when the time is right

    In a weird way, I really like his answer in the last line. My previous line wasn’t necessarily meant to be literal, but general. However, I think his response is more on the level of “I want to take the time to get to know you before getting to that next step.”

  25. Hahaha. I love that!

  26. I am a female Scorpio (10/30) and I prefer Cancerians as friends; they are usually there for me emotionally than any of the other signs. The men are too sappy and clingy for anything more serious. BTW, I like mystery movies (whodunnits) rather than horror flicks. Love the comments!

  27. canceranian says:

    OMG this conversation nailed it –,) I’m a Canceranian so in love with a Scorpio man.

  28. Cancer Sun Aries Rising says:

    Man. I love EVERYTHING about the paranormal and go for horror movies (whore movies too- heehee). Some of the above comments are such an overgeneralization of sun sign descriptions only. There are some Scorpios who are total wusses who won’t stand up for themselves. Some also don’t get what/who they want, even if they try. Some are homebodies with no goals. Wait..didn’t I just give the typical Cancer stereotype? They are VERY similar and they both have claws!

  29. I don’t think this conversation nailed anything. I really have watched “Terms of Endearment”, with my best friend, a cancer. It is a truly emotional movie. The differance between her and I is at the end she sobbed giant buckets of crockodile tears and I fumed at the callousness of the husband character….she was sad while I was mad.

    Now scary movies are fine, but a better exchange between cancers and scorpios would be….

    Cancer: Hey look whats on! Its “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!!!!”

    Scorpio: Hmmmm. (eyebrow lift)

    Cancer: I know you hate slap-stick and you think its stupid, but its soooo funny! (turns it to said channel). Want a cookie, I just made your favorite!?!

    Scorpio: Have fun. I’ll call ya. (goes home, eats a tylenol and some cookies from her friend. Orders “Three Stooges” on Amazon to be delivered to cancer friend. 🙂

  30. Ok now not ALL Cancers like romance movies!! I like them, but not the extremely sickening sweet ones! ICK! I LOVE a good thriller not some hack n slash, even though I would prefer the Health Channel over a hack n slash anyday…more real…heh heh… Cartoons are a must as well as comedy (not stupid comedy either). Now Ive dated 2 Scorpios and EACH one was different. I am currently dating Scorpio #3 and he is by far the MOST difficult Ive had to come to understand! I am a Cancer with a Sag/Moon and a Scorpio/Rising…an oxymoron into my own self…want to roam but stay at home! He is a Scorpio with a Virgo/Moon and Capricorn/Rising…and if there ever was someone cold and calculating its him! Now, the conversation at the beginning where the Scorpio says “I’ll protect you.” I would have come back with a “Oh really!? Just how do you proposed to do that sugar?” all the while evily grinning back! Dunno maybe its cause I have Scorpio in me as well but then again if you really want to add wrenches into the works I am a Fire Snake in Chinese Astrology, Anubis in Egyptian Astrology, and shock shock horror, yet again! a Scorpio in Vedic Astrology. Try all those on for size! HA! 😀

  31. I just started dating my first Cancer ever! I am a Scorpio who’s dated a lot of fire signs who are always mean and yelling (Saggitarius) or laughing in my face for my jealousy. (Leo) So this is our actual conversation with my new Cancer when I asked him about a girl and he said he’d be on messanger later to talk about it. You can see why Scorpios love how nuturing Cancers are. Best ever! Scorpio (me) is a girl.

    Scorpio: hi
    Cancer: hello
    Cancer: Ok…so you have a lot of reason to doubt and second guess me
    Cancer: youve had horrible experiences in the past
    Cancer: with guys
    Cancer: they have done some really bad things to you
    Cancer: so im not shocked when you asked about that girl
    Cancer: so heres the story with her
    Cancer: Her name is Jessica (name changed)
    Scorpio: ur not mad at me?
    Cancer: No
    Cancer: Im not at all
    Cancer: cause i know why you ask
    Cancer: i know the history
    Scorpio: i almost didnt ask…
    Cancer: please dont be afraid to ask me anything
    Scorpio: i hate being like that
    Scorpio: it makes me feel bad
    Cancer: you have good reason to be like that
    Scorpio: i worry u should be with someone less jealous than I
    Cancer: im with the person i want to be with
    Cancer: i accept you in all your glory!
    Scorpio: mmm!
    Cancer: so heres the thing
    Scorpio: i try so hard not to be like that
    Scorpio: and worry
    Cancer: i understand
    Scorpio: i dont want to upset u or hurt u
    Scorpio: or be annoying
    Scorpio: or act insecure
    Scorpio: its how i feel i cant control it
    Cancer: i know
    Cancer: shes not what you think though
    Cancer: SHes my sisters best friend
    Cancer: theyve been best friends since they were kids
    Cancer: they play softball together
    Cancer: shes married and has kids
    Scorpio: oh!
    Cancer: she comes over every monnday night and goes with my sister in the hot tub
    Scorpio: cool,
    Scorpio: thank u for being so understanding
    Scorpio: it means a lot to me
    Cancer: no worries!
    Cancer: if i went through what you went through i would be that way to
    Scorpio: really im touched that u can understand
    Cancer: Its all good Sandy *hugs*
    Scorpio: thank you sweetheart

    Isn’t that sweet? I love me some Cancers!!! Well, one especially, hehe. They’re sweet and nuturing enough to understand Scorpio. xoxo

  32. Very, very funny, but more stereotyped than true.

    Firstly, not all Cancers are sappy, sweet romantics! I’m a Cancer girl (cancer sun and mercury), and I only like romantic movies when they’re meaningful, original and intelligent. PLUS I love mysteries, detective dramas, anything strange and twisted and dark. I adored Zodiac! My boyfriend (Scorpio) is the same. He likes some romantic movies (we both love Beauty and the Beast. Yes we do), but usually focuses on the intelligent, cerebral kind of movie. And he’s a Scorpio sun, moon and mercury.

    And he’s not that creepy either. He’s enormously sexy, confident and even a little scary at times (he joked about kidnapping me on our first date), and I’m not that easily creeped out either (I was terribly intrigued at the idea of being kidnapped by him. I almost wish he did 😀 ).

    I think people really exaggerate these characteristics in Scorpios and Cancers. Cancers are not all mothering, baby-loving, home-obsessed pie-eaters with hyper-emotional inclinations (although all of these DO apply to me. But I’m a lot more than just that). And Scorpios are seldom deliberately creepy like in the aforementioned conversation. Only when the mood strikes. Usually they are intelligent conversationalists, jovial, interesting and kind.

    And Sandy: My boyfriend and I have similar conversations, except he (the Scorpio) is the one who patiently and lovingly deals with my (the cancer) paranoia. He’s seldom paranoid or openly jealous. He’s totally in control of his craziness. Me, not so much. 🙂

  33. Phenix/scorpio says:

    It need scorpio males and cancer wemon and then scorpio males and scorpio wemon. More abot the wemon.

  34. Anonymous says:

    lol this is so not true, in fact it’s the opposite for me. i’m a cancer female and my boyfriend is a scorpio. i love gore/ dark films, and he doesn’t.

  35. kristen says:

    no no no no no .. im cancer.. my bf is scorpio .. and its the TOTAL opposite… he is a chinese pilot here for college and he asks me a question and im the one anwering “its a matter of national security.. if i told you i’d have to kill you” and he also is the one listening to sappy love music… although i made fun of the fact that they all had to learn kung-fu in school and he replied “you’ll regret that later.. you see .. i’m bad” lmao!!!

  36. kristen says:

    and as a cancer for the record i am not a pansy when it comes to horror movies … as a matter of fact .. i’ve watched sooooooo many i’ve burned myself out on them … i dont watch chick flicks i like action movies … i dont listen to sappy music .. i dont cry when something doesnt go my way .. and if my bf was to walk away today .. it’ll hurt but i know eventually ill get over it … i work 2 jobs, and am a single parent… trust me 😉 i think i handle it better than most i have to say though .being cancer stays true to one thing .. im independent to the hilt.. im stubborn and if you piss me off you’d better be ready .. BUT! something happens to my daughter and im on my knees begging..maybe give cancers a little more credit .. we’re not super emotional people with no back bones if we’re open to showing our emotions be happy we let you that close….

  37. Phenix/scorpio says:

    oddly enough aint got alot on the scorpio man and the cancer woman

  38. LibraLady says:

    Yeah Phenix, I’ve noticed more Cancer Men with Scorpio Women, like my parents. I’m sure there are some Cancer Women with Scorpio Men too, I know a few Cap girls with Scorp guys.

  39. Jessica says:

    I must be a very strange cancer, than. I love gory films and ghost stories and other things of the sort. However I will get scared sometimes.

  40. I ‘m Cancer woman my bithday is July 22 and I have been in at least 30 fist fights. My niece is a Cancer also and fights all of the time. My mom is a Cancer and she ran my dad over in him Benz.

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