How to seduce a married Cancer man
February 7, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner
What are you thinking?
Cancer rules the family, old-fashioned values, and the home. Unless this Cancer man has restless Uranus compelling one of his love planets to break the rules of matrimony, you are as likely to break up his marriage as the Moon is likely to stop in her tracks.
And what is this whole seduction-of-married-men thing about, anyway? The planets may be far away, but they are not impartial. OK, Uranus may say, “Go for it!” but Saturn … oh Saturn … the god who keeps tabs on your karma — he doesn’t forget. Like Santa Claus, who makes a list of who’s naughty and who’s nice, Saturn will give you back whatever you put out. The witches say that it’ll come back three-fold! And if not in this life, well … in your next life you’ll be born a leper or an orphan or one of those poor saps who’s constantly cuckolded.
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Does this also apply to people with Pluto aspecting their personal planets?
Are you asking if someone with a Pluto-Venus or Pluto-Mars aspect is prone to cheating? Pluto is attracted to taboos, and Pluto in relation to Venus or Mars can relate to sexual compulsivity. Someone like this can feel that they can’t control their impulses to explore the dark side of sex and relationships.
But they’re not bent on breaking the rules for the sake of it. Let’s say it’s a Cancer man with Venus in Gemini square Pluto in Virgo. He’ll have a sexy, flirtatious manner, but will he stay committed to his wife? Maybe he’ll call phone sex lines, but keep it at that. He could just as easily explore the depths of sexuality and relationship in the confines of his marriage.
Oh, Jeffrey, I meant to post this under the Scorpio break-up item. Duh. That’s what I meant. Excuse me. Transiting Neptune is affecting my natal Mercury, plus TSaturn is right on top of the latter and is also squaring my natal Neptune. So, it’s all confusion all the time. Sorry.
You mean I did all that work for nothing?
In that case, the answer to your question in relation to Scorpio coping with breakup is Yes.
Well, I did learn something that I… uh, already knew given that I have a Venus/Pluto aspect myself.
That makes sense, btw. I only have Neptune in Scorpio but with Pluto/Moon opposition squaring Venus, I’d say that that sounds on target. I don’t know if I’m vindictive so much as definitely someone who stews in misery. Thankee!! You’re the tops!
i can’t say i agree a cancer won’t “cheat”, but then again they were seperated when we met and their compatibility is really crappy. Her bday 4-11-80 and his 7-9-74. have some fun with that one and you’ll see what i mean. my bday is 7-29-67, not perfect for him either but you’d have to agree it’s better than theirs! He is deluding himself into thinking they can give it one last chance before they divorce and i am saying go right ahead and try, see you back in a couple months (not that we even broke up in the first place….) P.S. we were going to have a baby but i got hit by a car and she died on us so there’s a lot of heightened emotions right now.
I am a pisces woman who’s in love with a cancer man. He says he loves me already and its been less than a month. It’s weird because I feel the same way but I didnt want to tell him yet because its so soon. He’s telling me things like “I’m getting older and I am ready to settle down”, and “I think you’re the one”, etc. I am very sensitive and I don’t want to be hurt, so my question to you is could he be trying to play games with me or is he serious? Also, how do I keep him in love with me if he really is, or how do I get him to fall in love with me if he really isn’t?? PLEASE HELP!!
Cancerians don’t usually joke about marriage and settling down. They’re homebodies, by and large, and they take family and marriage seriously. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take your time getting to know this guy until YOU’RE sure of what you want. As a Pisces, you probably tend to focus on others’ needs and feelings. The important thing is how do YOU feel? What do YOU want? When will YOU be ready to commit? Don’t worry about him just yet. Get to know him. You will know when you know and until then you have all the time in the world. He should respect that and if he doesn’t, then you know, dontcha?
my secret lover is a cancer an he is i hot lover, hope my bf does not find out, i know he is married but that makes it better
Cook better than his wife can. And get a good boob job if yours leave a little to be desired.
Hi Jeff…
i’m Aries, Aries moon,Pises rising.
he is Cancer, Sag moon, Gem rising.
we have been dating 9 months and we get along great! communication is great! We have had only 2 little biffs, and both times we communicated and ended it quickly with mutual respect fot the others feelings. He seems to good to be true. Is he? He is a great father as I am a great mommy, i love to cook for him and love him up, and he does all the right honey do love things for me too (and we are not even living together.) Iam worried that this will not last. I’m crazy for him and he says he is for me.. he spends all free time with me. me:Venus-Aqu, Plu-Vir,Mars-Leo; Him:Vemis-Vir, Plu-Vir, Mars-Gem
Whatcha think?
@slm, I think you should go to “ask jeff a question” as I don’t like to answer advice-seeking questions in the comments section.
I think everyone has to remember that we all fall under the “what goes around comes around” karmic Saturn influence. BUT my view is that we are here to learn…we are human.
I’m an Aquarius/Cap Rising, Cancer Moon/Venus in Aquarius/Mars in Cap, married and for the lack of something missing (go figure), fell for a very exciting married Cancer man, Leo Rising, Aries Moon, Venus in Leo.
As it all depends on your composite chart, I’ll give you an idea of the type of Cancer man I deal with and the responses and reactions brought on by him in myself.
1. Sex- Very hot impulsive ‘let me throw you around’ sex, (probably that Aries moon here in this case)and then can be very sweet also
(the variety was like an addiction)
2. Vices~
Mind Games-From passive aggressive to reverse psychology, to the silent treatment…never underestimate a Cancer and the silent treatment…this can go on forever
(This was a challenge, so kept me holding on for awhile, especially with the Aqua in my blood…we love intellectual stimulation!)
3. Personality~Abrasive,Protective, Endearing, Cold/Hot (Gotta love the moon!)
4.Negativity~Always remember even if the wife is crazy, and I mean really mental, if Cancer has kids, he is going to feel guilt, and then no matter how much fun, earthshaking, soul enrapturing sex and time spent together,pychic bonding, pilfering through each other’s minds, he will transfer that guilt into being all your fault, because YOU tore him away from his psychotic bundle of happiness, his nest if you will in this life time. It is just simply his instinct as a Cancer.
Of course when he feels better and lets go of some of that guilt, (for us it was when the moon hit Leo, I could mark it on the calendar) then he will come back full force begging for more. Ah, but then the moon changes…and there he goes again.
Again, it is all about the experience, right? I have to tell ya, for all the heartbreak and guilt it inflicted on me, my lesson was this: Intimacy now has a whole new meaning which is very improtant to me as an Aqua, I have learned to restrain from giving TOO much (there is such a thing), learned how to administer the silent treatment if neccessary, and also learned to love someone unconditionally just because of who they are and enjoy an experience here on earth that helped me to grow in more ways then I could ever list here.
Good luck with the Cancer men…let the journey begin…lol!
HIM: Sun: Cancer —Mercury: Cancer —Venus Leo —Mars Sagittarius
ME: Sun: Scorpio —Mercury: Libra
—Venus Scorpio (oh Ya) —Mars: Libra
My kids are grown, he has none. Two months in, tells me he never wants to get married again. Has not even said he cares. We see e/o every day and talk 2-3 times a day. He cooks, waxes my car, takes my dog to the vet?
What is up with this guy? Does he care?
I was dating a married cancerian man for 1 month who just became a father. Then he started feeling wrong and guilty. Trouble is I want him back in my life. Is it possible???
is he still married? if yes, then you said you want a married man back into your life – in what capacity? If he is married, he is already in someone else’s life. I think you both can decide. But why would you want to share a man with another woman who has his child and now his life will be in his child’s eyes. it was a fling.
this is really a screwed up topic… why don’t you go for a man that is AVAILABLE?! Why would you want to tear a family apart just for sex..
I am pisces and have a cancer husband and agree with the others, they don’t take marriage lightly and he talked marriage on the first date. It freaked me out but he begged me not to freak out, I think pisces and cancers understand each other’s sensitive natures very much.
hi,my story is strange,had love at 16 years w/cancerian male,now iam 40 yrs found him again almost 22years later,my first love and all emotions splurged out,
he says love me too,but couldn’t meet me since 4 months,
talk very nicely, never share email,loves his wife and family too much,
i have very good family too, i just want to meet him once again,since 4 months he has changed his mind several times,
what should i do to controle myself
damn…ive been going out with a cancer for almost a year..weve known eachother for 3 years now…but when started dating I got this feeling he is the one!!
Though it is maybe just my impression….coz when he talks of future he thinks of what we will do when we are 50….telling me he wants to be sure i love him and wont leave him….I do and I think I am showing him everyday. I dont see him saving money for our common future or wedding. Seems parties and friends are very important and places where he cant be missed. Its true he is saying he is ready to go with me wherever I want…but I dont see him taking any of that seriously by actually moving towards it besides talking. I have no clue where he is heading…im 27 he is 28 and I feel he is the one so what should we wait 5 more years for? I dont understand these signals of his…
btw: I am taurus he is cancer
meet him to do what? maybe he feels the same way and it would be better for both of you to stay apart since you are now both married?!
I’m a Sagittarius female, 12/06/79. He’s a married Cancer, 07/19/69. I’ve always looked down on women that were involved with married men. I’m now dealing with the heartbreak of him pulling away from me, to work things out with his wife. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anybody.
Why would anyone want to seduce someone that is already married? I don’t think cheating is right, I saw what it did to my parents and I would never want to put someone I love through that and I wouldn’t want them to put me through that either. If any guy Cheats on me again, (and I’ve only been cheated on once) and I swear to God he’ll wake up without his c*&k
Interesting thread. I’m a pisces female with a cancer male partner. He was in a LTR (with children) when we met, hooked up, and he left her. Before I get the whole OMGCHEATING is so rong! his relationship was “open” and his wife knew where he was when he was with me. He just liked me better, and left. Didn’t ask him to, that was not my goal, but he was the one. We fell hard, deep, and fast.
It’s been 7.5 years now, we’re still together and still happy. Cancer men do leave, when they’ve had enough, and they don’t want to be in their relationship anymore. He may be a family type person, but he preferred the stable family to the one he had. So, just because Cancer comes with the label “family” it does not imply loyalty. In fact, if the family unit is failing, the Cancer man will eventually choose himself over the hell that he’s living in, and go.
It’s hard not to fall for the caring, giving, loving Cancer. For those that find ones that are not available, they also make excellent friends, I have several not counting the one I kept.
how to control emotions ,we had sex twice when i was 17 yeras old, and then he left me, now after 20 years i found him, iwant to see him, meet him,
i am dying of emotional trauma, but he seems hardly bothered about it,plz tell me what to do,
Wow Valkyri, That’s big stuff you’re talking there. He was in a long term relationship with kids and liked you better so he “left”? What happened to the kids?
And if the Family unit is failing, it’s alright that he’ll choose “himself” over the hell he’s in? What about the poor innocent kids that have no choice? They stay in the hell? What about the fact that most of the time, he is the direct cause of the hell?
The Cancer man is NO prize. He has some of the best PR in the zodiac but the fact is that these men feed on attention. Every married Cancer man I know is hypercritical of his wife, restless at home and always convinced there is another woman out there who will love him more and understand him more and take better care of him than his mother, err, his wife does. They compete with their own children for attention even. And I guarantee you that just as his relationship with his wife was “open”, his relationship with you is as well, lol. He’s always going to be looking for a woman to shore up his fragile ego and to tell him how desirable and manly he is and to be willing to be with him even though he’s married because he’s just THAT special. And if you try and stop him, your home will suddenly become a hell he’ll have to free himself from.
I don’t mean to be such an old school fuddy duddy scold but dang that post grated my last nerve.
No matter how strong your connection with a married Cancer is, he won’t leave – especially if there are children involved. He may love you with all of his heart and want to be with you, but he knows his responsibilities.
If you believe in your love then you have to walk away, and if you’re prepared to wait, then do it. If he’s in a rocky relationship, then he needs time to sort it out. If he comes to you when all is said and done, then lucky you. I guess the question is – how long are you prepared to wait?
Ah, I’ve never cheated on anyone, but my last Fall Hard Love was a Cancer who was “truely in love” with me. His words. We got along like butter and I was soooo happy. Then I found out he was a cheat. I broke it off, lost a lot of weight from shock and grief and became a hermit.
He immmediately went on a zilion dates from the internet. Mind you , he still emailed and called and sometimes we even saw each other- but so sex. Then he jumped into co-habitation with a Pisces. He didnt tell but he did send me notes telling me his exact moves and addresses minus the news about the new girlfriend. Of course I found out. Then when move in time came , he wrote a series of desparate notes telling me how his soul was so connected to me. I know – cause I remember past lives, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to play his game so I told him off in blazing Aires fashion that he made his bed — now go lie in it.
During the past two years of his cohabitation and he’s still working on the divorce from the ex wife — then he sends me note saying he’s not sure she’s the one and signs “love”
Yet- the next thing I know he’s sending me another note that he is moving on the 1st of Nov. and here’s his address. The address is one block from my office. No mention of a girlfriend at all. Several notes and he’s hurt his knee. I’m a healer type and said it would be interesting to see the xrays- just to test to see where he was coming from .. he said sure- he’d show me the xrays. Then I bait him about meeting him somewhere really public in the neighborhood and he admit he’s living with a woman. The same Pisces.
The divorce from the ex is still dragging on ( 4 years) and he co-bought this house with the new girlfriend and he’s still trying to go after me. I know the honeymoon with the live in woman is long over and I’m tempted to seduce him.
But I know what I really need is a new love interest who is true blue.
I know that Mr Cancer is going to flip out once the official wife gets the divorce and the girfriend with whom he bought the house is expecting Marriage. He’s barely tolerating his choice as it stands now. Working late, etc.
I have a strong feeling that if he somehow got free from both ex and live -in girlfriend and we started being together, he woud soon start to be critical of me. As the unattainable woman, I have his heart and imagination. I think I’ll leave it that way.
WOW! is all i can say…..I know how u all feel….I had a relationship with a cancer guy….he is 51, I am 37….he was married….I had NEVER had a relationship like that in my life….and did not plan on it….he just constantly pursued until I gave in….I will say I dont regret the passion, communication, caring, protectivness, etc….He made me feel really loved when he wanted it all….but about a yr and a half ago he decided he wanted to try to make his marriage work due to his first grandbaby being born…..I am still to get over all the games, lies, SILENCE, betrayal..and do u know, he NEVER told me it was over never to this day…he still calls from time to time, to tell me he still loves me and to THINK about us……(GO FIGURE) I get sooo excited when I hear from him and all the feelings come rushing back..and then bam, I dont hear from him until another wk or so…..I would NEVER date him again if I could go back….IT has been the most hurtful/wonderful relationship. I still do not know him…..
Trying to move on,
Aymee~
Married cancer woman meets married cancer man. We both have strong partners and good relationships, but seduce each other – no problem. Cant say who started it, just snowballed. Not looking to leave our partners, but loving the Cancer/Cancer thing!