How to break up with a Capricorn

February 6, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner  



  • Open PowerPoint.
  • Clearly type out the reasons why this arrangement does not suit your mutual interests.
  • A graph would help. X axis = months from past to present. Y axis = the amount of satisfaction you have derived from the partnership.
    • Define “satisfaction” as Return on Investment (ROI) of emotional resources.
    • Quantify it, using a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being ” extremely dissatisfied” and 5 being “extremely satifisfied.”
    • Visually, there should be a clear decrease in satisfaction over time.
  • Save presentation. Shut down laptop.
  • Bring laptop and projector to Capricorn’s office. Although you do not have an appointment, do not let Cap’s secretary prevent you from interrupting Cap’s quarterly meeting with the Board.
  • In a calm and collected manner, run through your slides, clearly explicating the rational reasons for your need to dissolve the partnership.
  • Open discussion for questions and answers.
  • Closing words.
  • Goodbye.

Comment below: How have you ended it with a Capricorn?

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Comments

16 Responses to “How to break up with a Capricorn”
  1. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    A reader emailed the following to me regarding this post:

    “lmao. this is some sarcasm, im a cap, i would never expect a PowerPoint presentation in my life for something of worth. All Cap’s want is to know, not because they need a reason to let you go, but to know of their own shortcomings. We thrive on reason, afterall reason is what keeps all things in the universe together, from the reason to get up in the morning, to the reason why we’re here. if we lack enough of it in our lives, we deteriorate, and we wither away. at least we’ll never be seen as completely mad..even the crazy ones can stay out of the ward. we’re that good.”

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’m an Aries woman, whose spirit was drained by my 8 1/2 year off & on relationship with my Cap ex. We have 2 children, we had an argument the day before we broke in where I told him anyone woman that wanted this could have it, he didn’t come home until 5 am, after i called him repeated about taking my daughter to the urgent care center, because she had strep throat, so when he came home I told hm too go back where he came from packed up his things for him, and he’s spiteful, vendictive, jealous, somewhat crazy every since that was 5 1/2 months ago, I begged him repeatly to go to counseling for all his anger, because it’s all been directed me and our children. I wish we would have all got counseling before breaking it off, we we’re supposed to get married this year so he constantly ask me why didn’t we, why didn’t it work out, but yet he’ll turn around and do spiteful things to me and our children, so I guess I wish I handled it better, because he’s been sending us through hell every since and now I have too move away because he refuses to get counseling.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I’m a Capricorn woman that was dating a Capricorn man. I broke up with him via email after I had seen in his email that he was also involved with 3 other women. I was very direct in telling him that I wanted nothing to do with him and his lies. I also emailed the other ladies and introduced myself to them and informed them of the others. Should be interesting for him to be dealing with the fallout.

  4. cappylady says:

    ^^you’re my idol=]…I am starting to believe that taking the high road is over rated. But every time I have these thoughts [somebody whispers TAKE THE HIGH ROAD in my ear] so I do what’s right.

    *ignore what I just said [except the idol part]you should of changed his password*

    And the way to break up w/a Cap tell the truth, as a reader already said give a reason-hopefully that is all that is needed.

  5. Jane says:

    To break up with a Capricorn you should be perfectly honest. We never want anyone to try to decide for us what we can or cannot handle. One thing we won’t appreciate is someone playing games or lying to us. Just be direct and to the point and be gentle. If we really care for you, we will try to talk you out of it and try to convince you that you are making a big mistake, but if we don’t care, we will just walk off into the sunset with no regrets whatsoever.

  6. Debra says:

    I know the female Capricorns are completely different. The male counterpoints are not as balanced as the females. Regarding breakups with Capricorn men, they will analyze my words, instead of “hearing” what the actual words are! Sure, honesty, but ends up in some mental power play. Although, I’ve know some mixed, bipolar souls. I’m sure that is a thread somewhere else! SAg vs Cappy

  7. ililixriot says:

    okay well first of all no that is not the way
    a capricorn can also be very sensible mostly when in love
    so the best way 2 break up with a cap
    will be
    1st) talk to them about your feelings
    2nd) some capricorns are cold-hearted that is whenn it doesnt really matter
    because a cap woman can get over ppl fast
    a capricorn man takes a bit more but he’ll be okay after a while
    3rd)just give them some time when theyre in love they’ll show you
    when they are not eek

    i mean i am a capricorn woman well a teenager
    and i am super sensative when i am in love
    which is the first time
    i have been with many guys and i have brken up with most
    now i am sure dat i am in love i need him i want him and i love him
    but a capricorn woman is also very very greedy they want attention and love and they are sexual in bottom of that cold hearted apperience

  8. CAPRICORN GIRL says:

    I AM A 32 Year old CAP WOMAN… ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS… IF YOU DONT WANT A CAP WOMAN… JUST BE HONEST… THEY WILL UNDERSTAND AND MOVE ON… IT MAY EVEN HURT BUT TRUST ME THEY WILL BE WELL ON THEIR WAY… SHE WONT KEEP WHAT DOES NOT WANT HER… SHE HAS NO TIME FOR FOOLISHNESS OR GAMES EITHER YOU WANT HER OR YOU DONT… BUT DONT EXPECT HER TO COME RUNNING BACK IF YOU LEAVE HER… SHE NEVER MAKES THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE… WHEN ITS OVER ITS OVER… ONCE YOU LOSE A CAPS TRUST IT IS GONE…

  9. capchick says:

    We really don’t need all that, just honesty and a very good reason (if we really like the person)…

    It’s easy for me to move on after a relationship, usually just cut the person off, but with the last person I dated (a Scorpio) it has been extremely difficult to let go. because I feel extremely connected to him..

  10. Capri_Girl says:

    Capricorn Girl I agree with you 1000000 %. Just say it as it is…all I need is your complete and utter honesty, don’t bother with the bull or “trying to protect my feelings.”

    I’M NOT INTO GAMES, SO I WILL ASK HIM WHAT HE WANTS, I’LL SAY “TELL ME IF YOU DONT WANT ME, DONT NEED ME AND DONT LOVE ME,” IF HE DOSENT, I’LL WALK, BUT IF HE IS FOOL ENOUGH TO LET ME GO, DON’T EXPECT ME TO BE FOOL ENOUGH TO RETURN. I’LL MAKE HIM SORRY & WISH HE HAD NEVER GIVEN ME UP, AND THAT IS A PROMISE.

  11. mistechal says:

    I think that the above goes for any sign, it’ s called ” being a decent human being” Just be honest. Don’t lead someone on. Don’t start a new relationship before ending the one you are currently in. Don’t get involved with someone unless you are emotionally available. And for heaven sakes, don’ t behave like a jerk hoping that your soon to be ex partner will do the deed for you, and break up you, because of your callous actions, and save you the bother of ‘having the talk’.

  12. The Effeminate Cancer says:

    I think ALL OF YA’LL are crazy.

    I’ve dated three Capricorn men consecutively, and the M.O. was identical for all three:

    They would dive in head first.. Withdraw.. Beat down my door.. Withdraw.. I’d break up with them.. They would come looking for me.. But all the while, they would neither deny, or confirm, their feelings for me. Ridiculous!

    I say cut your ties with them, and keep it moving. Who has time for the games?

  13. Kisher says:

    Jeffrey,

    Thanks for posting this, I had a good laugh!

    I have to say that if someone broke it off with me with a powerpoint presentation, I would be in hysterics! I would remember them fondly for the rest of my life!

    ililixriot said,

    “1st) talk to them about your feelings” – I’m a Cap Sun with a Sagittarius Moon & Venus…I hate it when I have to talk about feelings. Just be blunt and get it over and done with. I don’t have time for sentimental BS.

  14. Cap woman says:

    I am a 29 yr. old Cap. I was w/ a Taurus for 8 yrs. & had to kids by him. I have now been w/ a Gemini for 6 yrs. These 2 men signs should really be switched. The guy who I was w/ (Taurus) he is the epitome of a Gemini. Always on the go, very permiscuous, & played games all the time. I put my heart & soul into the relationship, & it was very hard (emotionally) to break it off w/ him. I wasn’t able to leave him until I realized one day, I have no control over the way he treats me, the only one I have control over is myself. When I broke our relationship down, it all made since, I left him & never looked back. It was very difficult for him to except the fact that I would NEVER b w/ him again, because he knew I was totally dedicated to him & only him! (Funny thing is, astrology says this is my PERFECT match, couldn’t b further from the truth in my case!)

    My Gemini,(who I’m currently w/) came right after me & the Taurus broke up. He was very caring, romantic, & sweet! He is not permiscuous, he’s had the same good job for over 10yrs. We now have a child together, & he takes care of all 3 of the kids after they’re his own. He’s the best man I’ve ever been w/, & in bed, he truly blew my mind. To know him, u would never think he would b great in bed! But he has a whole different game plan in the bedroom, than what I was ever use to.(Totally blew my mind!) Now astrology says, if I meet a Gemini, I shhould run as fast as I can away from him! Couldn’t b further from the truth in my case!

    Can someone please explain how my Gemini(June12,’77),& I(Jan.15′80) go so well together, & my ex Taurus(May16′79) & I could’nt make it work to save our lives!

    Thanks,
    a confused Capricorn woman

  15. dominored says:

    Um, LMFAO

  16. Sage says:

    ha, i shall try it out on my bf and i ll let u guys know how it goes huh? maybe i ll do it in a doc instead of ppt so he can sit right nx to me! :D

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