How Scorpios get over breakups

You know that deep, dark hole you dig after you’ve been dumped? Where you stew in the juices of your resentment and despair for months and months? Well, the first hole of despondency was dug by a Scorpio.

In a relationship, Scorpio explores every nook and cranny of the intimate space shared by two people — sometimes even looking into recesses for which her partner has not granted her access.

As a result, Scorpio knows her partner really well, and if she’s gotten to the point where she trusts him, Scorpio is not willing to let him go. So when the day comes that she gets dumped, Scorpio goes into one of two modes. She withdraws into her own private hell, or she gets even.

You know that saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?” That surely must be about a Scorpio. Because she has all the dirt on her ex, she is willing to bring it to the light of day, or at least manipulate him into staying so that she will keep his secrets safe.

And Scorpio’s private hell … she can live there a while, commingling with her demons, brooding over past wrongs. However, Scorpio is the sign of transformation — after she has burned through her resentments, she will be a new person. She may tread lightly the next time a man shows interest in her, but she will bring a deeper insight into her own process. This latter option is preferable; revenge may be sweet, but it leaves a bitter aftertaste.

Comment below: How have our Scorpio readers coped with past breakups?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. ughleee breakup says:

    @Candyz8 Ha, you are so right. I’d stay away from both Taurus and Aquarius. My ex Taurus cheated on me like crazy and 18 years later, he’s still chasing me and asking me back (no thanks). And my ex-husband was an Aquarius, we were completely incompatible and he couldn’t handle my strong personality, he was way too sensitive. But overall, he was a pretty good guy and I think he stayed pretty faithful until we started to split up. Then he got really sneaky and really betrayed me.

    I think at this point I should stay away from all signs, haha, because Pisces is supposed to be our perfect match–and this one is in a lot of ways, we have this instant connection and I have this unconditional (ie very self-destructive) love for him–but yeah, hasn’t quite gone my way. :( In fact, our main fight is over him making me second fiddle, and it’s just not working for me and this is usually something that will make me make a very quick exit, but with him, for some reason, I tolerate it b/c I don’t want to lose him. It sucks!

  2. @ughleee breakup

    What is your sign?

  3. ughleee breakup says:

    Scorpio, with Scorpio ascendant and Gemini moon

  4. @ughlee breakup
    I am a Scorpio with a Gemini moon, too! I was just writing in the “How to get a Pisces to chase you” forum how I don’t understand how Scorpios/Pisces are supposed to be a match made in Heaven. I am struggling to understand.

    Come join that forum if you feel like sharing your Pisces tales!

  5. ughleee breakup says:

    @NovLady, that’s cool, we probably have very similar personalities. And I have lots of advice on pisces to share lol

  6. hurt my scorp and I need advise. I said somethings out of anger not just him but the whole word(very rough time in my life) and I really hurt him. I apologized. While he said he accepted my apology he also said the damage is done. Since then communication has been scarce. He textes me i believe because we just had a daughter together to know what is going on with her. After this I did said i loved him and missed him and he replied he mises me too and loves us both but was wondering if that was a fluke or did he mean it and slip. I dont know if there is a chance of making it worst. I know scrops are very stubborn and hold on to things. I am nothing like that, which is probably why i fly off the handle when really stressed because I know i wont be mad long and get over it quickly. I dont know what to do to fix it. Right now i am giving him his space and not hitting him up. I changed my number because I got a new phone and didnt give him the number. They say absense makes the heart grow fonder. Is this true, I have no clue of what to do anymore with him. I truly love him and Im hurting right now. Worrying we wont fix this and/ if he has already moved on. Any advise would be appreciate. Does him saying he loves me and misses me mean that he really does and is just still hurt or is he just being nice for the sake of our child?

    Thanks.

  7. Being a Scorpio female I can not speak for Scorpio males but to be honest, don’t play games with him. If you love him let him know. Don’t smother him with affectionate because if he’s reluctant or indecisive that may scare him off. I just mean let him know you still care. Give him your new number. If you don’t he’ll be wondering why you say you love him yet disconnect him from your life which will only confuse him and make him pull away. Scorpios never forget things said or done but it can be repaired it just requires effort, a lot of effort from you. If he is not in love with you he wouldn’t say it. Scorpios are passionate people and hurt easily so make sure you keep sending your affirmations of how you feel. All I can say is don’t play games or be dishonest, we’ll see right through it and move on. Once we have moved on, that’s it. Good luck! Like I said I can’t speak for Scorpio males but we aren’t all that different when it comes to love :)

  8. @ugleee breakup your experience with Pisces mirrors mine and I too am confused with how they are meant to be our best match yet it only gets so emotionally horrible and confusing! I have this theory, and other scorps add to it if you have picked this up or experienced something different. I have this theory that maybe Pisces born in march are a poor match and instead Feb Pisces are the ones we would be better suited to? All my Pisces experiences have been with ones in march and I have never been so connected to and felt so attracted to anyone before! I have never met a Feb Pisces though. Would love to compare! Any thoughts? Previous experiences?

  9. @Betty Boop says:

    “January 26, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Well isn’t this very interesting.

    Fortunately or Unfortunately, I have been heavily involved with a Scorpio man going on two years now.

    I have NEVER met anyone on this planet that could make me FEEL in the various ways – the way he makes me feel.

    Sadly, it is on all levels. The good the bad and the UGLY.

    It would be fair to say that this is the first time in my life that I have experienced such a bond with another human being and it has truly taken a toll on me.

    Three weeks after we met on a job, working together, I felt this overpowering desire to be with him out of the blue and that passion is still there, just on a much deeper level, which is wonderful.

    It is confusing at best. The intensity of the passion is akin only to sever addiction and they are terribly ungrateful. No matter how much loyalty, love, money, you shower them with, it is never enough for them to trust you.

    This man has told me several times that he has never been loved by anyone the way I have loved him. He has told me several times that he has waited his entire life and prayed to meet someone like me. Yet for the past 9 months (we moved in together 9 months ago), he has turned into a jealous, spiteful, individual. I can’t even go to work anymore without being accused of f(*king my boss all day long and this hurts to the bone. Because I adore my Scorpio.

    There has been a price that has to be paid being involved with Scorpio and it is a bitter one indeed. In exchange for this “love” they expect complete control of your body, your mind, your soul and your freedom.

    They intend to change you, which is completely contradictory, as how could they truly love you if they wish to change you.

    When we met, it was such an overpowering connection, like nothing I had ever experienced before. This is someone that I would never cheat on, I can’t look at anyone else, I don’t ever want to be with anyone else, and no matter how much I love this person, with everything I’ve ever had and more, he doesn’t believe any of it. The jealousy and hurtful remarks are unbearable, especially since my devotion and adoration abound..I don’t know how to get out, I don’t want to get out. I just wonder where the man I fell in love with has gone.”

    Hi Betty Boop, pardon i am like digging your old post, but it truly touched my soul for your story and feelings is exactely what i been through.

    Together for about two years plus, met through work.
    Strong intensity between that never so sure and certain i wan to be with that person.
    Everything was perfect when it’s really good. But when things got nasty like any other relationships, you will realised you have lost him forever.
    I read before, once they change they would never be like before, and be assured that was what i am being told by EX scorpio.
    They will never be the same, everytime they transformed.
    Just like we, i am also made to wonder where has the first known scorpio went.

    We will think and think and will never figured out.
    Try and wish you could crack this mystery pluto case, wait till you’re dead in their underworld.
    After reading enough i have get to accept the truth.
    So hard yet it seems to be, and i read many many scorpios man say this themsleves-
    Forget about trying to understand or even figure them out, cos if you ask them if they know themsleves, the true fact is they also dont know.

    Being a typical SUN aquarius, it’s my habit and favourite past time trying to play the puzzle and think the logic out of it.
    I cant stop thinking, i would never stop thinking.
    I fight through battles and tremedous long struggles just to satisfy my personality desire of figuring them out, but cry out loud, after the breakup he turn ice cold stone, this is when i feel the coldness and the inner side of him is so dark and deep.
    As warned, forget about understanding.
    Well after this relation i realise and truly hate myself for being so stubbon, i never knew i was.
    Stubbon that i am trying to fight the puzzle to satisfy my natureto think and analyze, stupid enough to forget what creature i was dealing with.
    What a joke, sure scorpios who read this will laugh out loud for me being a fool.

    But know i gave up persuding him.
    I hack if he’s not gona feel my strong desire and loyalty by not begging and pestering.
    If he wants to leave for that whole list of ridiculous reasons, by all means, perhaps just like him, i am worn out.

    Oh ya the turning tables and projections just to make it it was him breaking up with me although i wanted it, wateva, i know it’s all about ego and pride, well as long he feel good and great, i give it to him.

    Betty Boop, i read that you been through alot with your EX scorpio too, and have a list of how and what horrible thigns he is capable of.
    I am very interested to know if ya dont mind sharing.
    I am as curious and willing to learn as usual like a typical aquarius.

    I want to be awared, perhaps served as a reminder and knowledge for more ladies too, also aid in faster moving on from them.

    I’ll be waiting if ya ever read this, looking forward to read ya stories.

    Regards.

  10. Ladies i have a strong urge and wish this, relatively applicable i feel…

    [REMOVED BY ADMIN: please do not copy and paste more than a few sentences from another website as this can be construed as a copyright violation.]

    Source:
    http://www.lisaescott.com/welcome

  11. @Aquagal, you truly describe the unevolved scorpio to a “T”. So be grateful that you got out before you really got hurt……..I acually feel sorry for the woman my guy is with now. When he gets tired of her or she asks for too much she will be gone……I think I was able to survive because my ex-husband was a Narc and I learned alot about what not to take from a man……. I also know some very wonderful scorpio men, they are not all bad boys……..You will heal…….. All my best to you.

  12. @Aquagal

    Good to hear you on your way to recovery. ladydb is right.. “So be grateful that you got out”

    sounds as though you are getting a handle on things :)

    take care of you.. remember your no.1.. you come first before others..
    now that your taking ownership of yourself.. you will start to feel better within, empowered!
    lifes a journey.. have fun, and remeber to smile :)

  13. @Aquagal

    Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

    and remember what peace there may be in silence.

    As far as possible, without surrender,

    be on good terms with all persons.

    Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

    and listen to others,

    even to the dull and the ignorant;

    they too have their story.

    Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

    they are vexatious to the spirit.

    If you compare yourself with others,

    you may become vain or bitter,

    for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

    Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

    it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

    Exercise caution in your business affairs,

    for the world is full of trickery.

    But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

    many persons strive for high ideals,

    and everywhere life is full of heroism.

    Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

    Neither be cynical about love,

    for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

    it is as perennial as the grass.

    Take kindly the counsel of the years,

    gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

    But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

    Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline,

    be gentle with yourself.

    You are a child of the universe

    no less than the trees and the stars;

    you have a right to be here.

    And whether or not it is clear to you,

    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

    Therefore be at peace with God,

    whatever you conceive Him to be.

    And whatever your labors and aspirations,

    in the noisy confusion of life,

    keep peace in your soul.

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

    it is still a beautiful world.

    Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

  14. Hi Bionda and Betty Boop, I don’t know if both of you still visit this thread, but I am deeply touched by your comments here, I’m a Libra too, went through very similar experience but with a fortunate turn of event: self-awareness, I don’t know if it’s the transformation needed for death and rebirth as I am currently going through the process, but to see kinder spirits in the both of you is deeply touching. I would like to share with you a site where I found most of my enlightenment :

    http://chasingthecool.wordpress.com/2007/09/18/scorpio-man/

    I hope it would be of help to your spiritual growth as it did mine, the comments are long, but within it, you will find knowledge with love. Good luck and best wishes to the both of you. *hugs*

  15. i have had two serious relationships with a LEO and a GEMINI. And one somwhat serious, but really just dating with a VIRGO. All three attempted to comeback.

    The Leo left me to frolic with the bimbos. I was bummed and was my first love. He was the hardest to get over; but I did and it made it easier for me the next few relationships.

    The gemini was the longest. cheated and went back was not the same afterwards. had a child with the gemini.

    The virgo the same as the gemini but was not as serious with the gemini. now virgo is in love, supposedly.

    I like being single. Not all scorpios need a relationship to feel compelete.

  16. Young Scorpiogirl says:

    My very first relationship was with another Scorpio. He’d been in a few other relationships but he was my first love. We dated for almost half a year when all of a sudden I realized he had been lying to me. I questioned him about it and he got mad at me and made me cry. I ignored him for a day and instead of coming to me to fix things he broke it off that night. That night I tried to be the mature one and stayed calm. I asked him if we could go back to being friends and he blew up and told me never to talk to him at school or text him. I was in shock with this whole new person.. The day we broke up I learned he had been planning on cheating on me. The day after he started to text and talk with one of my friends. Them being childhood friends, she thought he just needed someone to talk to. Turns out he was trying to get with her. She turned him down big time. He then went to my other friend. He talked to her about how much he missed me then asked her out and was calling her beautiful. She was disgusted with his behavior and got mad, turning him down big time. After that he went to another of my friends, she was unsure of his intentions until she asked my why he was contacting her. That’s when my friend he had asked out told me of what he’s been up to lately. Turns out he’s been drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. I find myself completely disgusted with him now. He is in no way the boy I knew and fell in love with. I was completely deceived. It took me a while to open myself to him and after that I spent most of the relationship if tears because of the insensitive things he would say to me. From time to time I spend thinking of what to do to get back at him for destroying me but then I realized he was his own demise. From time to time I see him looking at me, waiting for a reaction. Maybe he wants to see what he’s done to me? I know better than to ever cry because of him ever again. It simply means I still care but honestly I gave up on ever loving him a long time ago. The only thing that worries me is that if in the next relationship I’ll ever be able to open myself so fully without being scared that I’ll be hurt again.

  17. I am a Scorpio woman, and the way in which I usually get over a break-up is by getting rid of anything I can. I’ll step back; ponder, and contemplate on what went wrong and why. After doing this (it’ll take me a while), I notice that I’ll come to a point where I’m content and okay with what has happened, and I’ll just move on as though nothing happened. Every one in a while, I’ll think about the guy, or smile to myself about something that happened a while back (day-dreaming), but just for a slight moment. Depending on how good/bad the break-up was, I’ll reflexively frown afterwards, or come back to my senses and return to what I was previously doing. For the record, I was still talking to all of my exes; close friends and everything. However…recently, I’ve been getting close to a Taurean man whom I’d like to be with in the long run (because I’ve been getting approached mainly for one-nighters and sex when I want something deeper. -_-) so, I’ve cut all contact with my exes–something I’m more than happy to do for this future Taurean of mine. Surprisingly, I don’t mind changing for him slightly. And I’ve never been more happy. :)

  18. Scorpio here, previously dated a Sagittarius for a year and seven mouths. I have moaned about ‘why did I ever let him do that?’ or ‘how stupid was I?’ but now I am a much better person. I am stronger, and still trying to stop regretting it. But I am less self-concious, I am flirting – never would’ve done that before – and overall I have had the time to focus on my future – and I am dead excited for it. Unfortunately I don’t trust people like I did once before, but I am, overall, very glad to be out of that relationship.

  19. Hello, I am a Scorpio male looking for advice on how to get back my Capricorn women. I’m typing on my phone so this will be short. We met 5yrs ago she had a BF then and I had a GF. Her relationship didnt work out so she is back in my city. We pretty much started dating after a couple of dates because we had a crush on each other then. After 2 1/2 months she broke it off. She is a typical Cap. Super busy all the time works a lot. She has a lot of bad things going on in her life now. She has told me she doesn’t know what she wants and wants to figure stuff out but isn’t opposed to starting over. She also has told me her feelings for me change every day. No one cheated or lied or anything like that when we were dating. It was perfect we think we movef too fast without getting to know each other me being a Scorpio, I stress, worry and want her in my life. She has told me she also still has feelings for me but, its tough to go from not thinking about what to do and say to, can I touch you or should I etc..any advice from a cap women on how I can let her know. Pretty much when she’s ready for a relationship I wanna be the first one she thinks of.please feel free to email me. I can explain more details if needed!

  20. I’m a Scorpio, and my first long-term relationship was with a Pisces. We dated for 4 years. Broke up twice..but couldn’t handle being away from each other. I would have to say that he truly understood me in ways that noone else could and he accepted me. We connected on many levels, especially during sex.
    What I had trouble with in this relationship was being satisfied though..Even though we connected during sex, he didn’t really cater to my needs and wasn’t very affectionate with me. He also tended to keep everything inside and silences were not comfortable with him.
    It took me a couple of years to realize that this wasn’t right for me and that it was time to end it. He was deeply hurt. I ended it kind of abruptly, but was very honest with him.

    My Breakup: The above is definitely true. For me, my strategy was trying everything I could to get over him the “right” way. I cried for about 2 weeks, then started hanging out with a girlfriend more, finally getting to laugh, breakup worksheets were helpful, journaling has been helpful, reminding myself of why I left, removing anything/everything that reminded me of him.
    Thanks for the article!

  21. ATypeScorpio says:

    I think I might be deadly. I am 100% Scorpio; Scorpio ascendant and moon. The astrologer was blown away when she did my chart. I dated a Scorpio male for 5 years. The first 2 years were awesome. He picked out my wedding ring and we talked about our retirement like we were planning our future together. At the 2 year mark he went what seemed like a midlife crisis and did a 180 personality change. He became condescending, controlling, extremely selfish and toward the end it got really bad with his lies and deceit. The frightening thing is it’s been 2 ½ years since we broke up and I am still love the man; that is the man I knew those first two years. One side of me wants him back as he was and the other side wants nothing to do with him. How do I fight this??? Help.

  22. Hi A Type Scorpio

    You are clinging to the memory of a Man during a time when things were good
    between you and he was a different person back then although he changed
    afterward and I assume this is the reason which you broke up and you also have
    this two year gap where you are broken up and there has been no contact if I am
    correct.???

    So what is it that you aim to accomplish at this point in time and where is all of this
    reminiscing coming from.???

    Think about it and let me know.? Taurus

  23. Caecus Scorpio says:

    Hello. I’m a male Scorpio (sun) with Virgo moon and Gemini rising. For about two years I became friend with this one Virgo girl. Our relationship escalated, we became close friend, and then both of us realized our true feelings. For about one year after that we became lover. Then something when wrong (probably because of something I said to her), she became really cold to me. I hold on for a few months, trying to repair things up, but it didn’t work. Finally she asked for breakup, but she still want to be my friend. I was furious and hurt really bad. The famous Scorpio trait of jealousy came out, as I suspected that she has someone else. I told her how come we could still be friend, at the same time she knew I love her very much. I told her that I can’t bear watching her with other guy but still keep a straight face while my heart burned inside. After that she left me and cut all connections with me, without even telling me what I do wrong. I felt devastated, but I won’t dare to do anything anymore that would hurt her or make her hates me more. I know that I’ve already obsessed with her, but that’s because we’ve shared many beautiful memories together. Several months after breakup, she got engaged to someone else, and a few months later she got married. I still feel devastated, been crying every single night since the breakup.

    When a Scorpio “trully” loves someone, he/she will loves will all their hearts even to the point of obsession, that’s just how we are. I don’t hate her, darn I still love her, and I know I will love her forever. I’ve already accepted all her strength and weaknesses. Forgetting her is nearly impossible as a Scorpio, so we need to learn to accept and move on. It will take a while, it may take years, but I really hope for the light at the end of the tunnel. Scorpio are known for their rebirth and transformation, and I’m still working for that.

    I hope this story can help out other fellow Scorpios out there, at the same time helps me in the healing process. Thanks for reading.

  24. Haley the scorp says:

    I’m a Scorpio girl and I was in relationship with a Sagittarius guy for a month and a half, in that period of time I started letting my walls down but not completely, I trusted him and loved him deeply because he said he felt the same way. But the thing with Sagittarius guys is that you can’t tie them down and mine was a complete child in retrospective, we had a big fight and he asked for space and later wanted to fix things but I wanted to be treated with respect so we fighted and broke up. He instantly wanted me back but then he apparently forgot and a week goes by and he’s now attempting a relationship with another girl. I pretty much felt so much fury, before finding out about that I didn’t want to give up on him and wasn’t going to let him go. The pain he put me through was so much I could hardly bear it, so naturally I just went and burned everything that ever reminded me of him, deleted his messages, his presents, etc. I’m hurt and I won’t let him take my pride away anymore, I was thinking of getting revenge the moment I was told about his true feelings and now I’m not sure I’ll do it, but I’m not going to forgive him.

  25. It’s been two years since I broke up with my libra, when he first came to me pertaining to the breakup, it was with the reasoning that “he didn’t know how to be him without me”. I was supportive at first, until I figured out the lying began several months earlier. Even though I suspected things had been “off”, we were both in school full time and lead very busy lives. We still made time together everyday, I know I can be neurotic to a point, and convinced myself “everything was ok”! I shouldve listened to my neurosis!

    I walked away from our home, he had become violent (way out of character for him), belting things out like “I never loved you” (that one cut the deepest), his family made excuses for him, and actually blamed me. Thus starts the boiling, and the festering, and the silent rage…

    My family said “just let it go and move on”, he USED me, he lied to me, he stole from me (a lifestyle, stability, love, etc.) no, I will not be letting this go, thank you.

    the straw that broke the camels back? he moved in his new love interest. INTO MY HOUSE…

    surely, you must know that will cost you…

    Needless to say, it was a very cold winter in that home with all the holes in the glass!

    Don’t judge me, I paid for them.

  26. loyallibra says:

    In need of some advice, I am a Libra Woman who met my Scorpio Man 10 years ago. It began like most magical, intense, and a connection like no other. At the time I was very indecisive and did not understand a scorp as I now do, I was a flirt and at the tome still in love with my ex who was an Aquarius. I hurt my scorp badly I didn’t cheat but told him that I still had feelings for the Aquarius. We stayed together but now realized the damage was done. 3 years later I became pregnant with our son and the day I gave birth he told me he cheated on me with a pisces woman, I was devastated but didn’t think it would turn into anything (wasn’t the first time he cheated) He left me 2 days after our son was born and moved in with her. 2 years later they had a daughter, did I mention during this time he was back and forth between both of us, he would break up with me and go to her, break up with her and come back to me and to be honest this has been our relationship for the last 7 years. We have since had another baby who is 2 years old. He says he loves me and I am the first woman he ever fell in love with and that he doesn’t love her(I know that’s not true) he says he wants to marry me. My question is should I move on? He just went back to her and frankly I am tired of this triangle, I have been faithful, and loyal to my Scorpio I know he loves me and will always be there when I need him, what I don’t know if he is in love with me. I would love to be with him and don’t mind waiting if I knew I was the one who truly has his heart. On another note I have met another Scorpio born 2 days after my scorp Nov. 11th and want to know if I should just cut my loses with my scorp cause he may never give me his heart again and start on a roller coaster ride? I learned my lesson that’s why I need to know what to do, Please Help!!!!

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