A cheating Pisces

A sad Sagittarius writes:
He cheated– my sweet, innocent, “fallen angel” as he likes me to refer. Why? Now what? Does that mean he is over me? As he put it “she literally broke into his house in the middle of the night, and she is an ex ex ex girlfriend, the type he wishes he had spent more time with.” Isn’t that just about every ex for a Pisces? He did tell me that he loves me, before this obviously, and he said it often. This seems out of nowhere. I haven’t cried yet, and I told him I didn’t want to speak with him anymore. Now, I want to speak with him and find out the golden question: why?

Is there hope? I still love him too much.

Sad Sag,

It sounds like your Pisces is embodying the very worst qualities of his sign: passivity and martyrdom. Pisces is the archetype of the crucified Jesus — no wonder he likes you to refer to him as your “fallen angel.”

Your Pisces’ ex may very well have broken into his house, and I’m sure he wishes he had spent more time with her, but he’s with you now. He could have said, “No, I have a girlfriend.” Pisces can act as if they are helpless victims, but there are Pisces who have grown up. “Help, I’m a fallen angel, and I can’t get up” is no excuse, especially since he can get it up with someone else.

I’m not sure trying to get a reasonable explanation out of him is worth your time. He went with the flow of the moment, as Pisces are prone to do. If you’re a guy, and an ex you’re still hot for breaks into your house and seduces you, it does take some backbone to save your bone for your girlfriend. I’d actually be more worried about this ex who broke into his house — is she stable?

There may be hope for the relationship if your Pisces can take responsibility for his part, as well as make a commitment to grow up. That’s not something you can measure, but you’re a Sag … either you have faith, or you don’t.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. this is what i love about these blogs….you can go IN on someones comments and give it too them straight without buttering it up…some of us need that

  2. i do have to say that a fish man will tell a story or three, but then again the pot cant call the kettle black…

  3. I need advice. I have been seeing a pisces man for 3 years now. Its been hot then cold for the past 3 years. The sex is great and keeps getting better the more time we spend together. About a year ago he said he wanted to start seeing me more. At that time I was dating someone else but we were not serious and we didnt get to see each other ofter. So we started to see each other more, then once i told him i cared for him he all of the sudden was not ready for a relationship. So we stopped talking for 3 months or so then started back up aging but i was mostly sex. All this time im still dating and not puting my life on hold but have not had a sexual relationship with anyone else. He gets very jealous if he thinks im seeing someone or even if I wear a low cut shirt. I reassure him im not and that i have been loyal to him for the past 3 years. He keeps his life very personal, I have never met any of his family or friends, yet he has told me very personal things aobut himself and he says he trust me more than most people. I just dont understand what he is thinking about us. Last month he told me he wanted to start seeing me more again. So like the fool I am i agreed, now i see him 2 to 3 times weekly and we have great sex, he takes me for a ride on his harley, he also has started talking about the future. small comments that make me believe he sees a future with me. This week he is on vacation, and a coworker of mine told me her husband knows him and he though he had a girlfriend, but was not sure. Now Im so confused. I have gained weight the last 2 years and wonder if that is something that keeps him holding back, even though he tells me all the time im beautiful. I feel like im in a part time relationship but I like every leo woman wants a real one.

  4. Ipaidattention says:

    Pisces men are VERY difficult to deal with. I am a Cancer woman with a Taurus Rising. I thought I had my Pisces man right on the same level with me, then he got wishy washy REAL quick. He asked me to be somewhat aggressive with him, and I said OK.. I can do that. When I did, thats when he decided to retreat and back off completely. I have been open and I have tried and tried with these “P” guys, but this is just not working out. They all seem to have some sort of baggage from the past that is totally beyond changing. I gave up on Pisces man years ago. I thought for sure I met one that was SO different. HAHA… How WRONG I was. They want SO much and they give SO little.

  5. I m a Sagittarius and my Pisces boyfriend just cheat on me

  6. AquaTrainer says:

    Valeria,

    Don’t take it out on yourself. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and his insecurities. I’m telling you right now…do not cry. Be strong and let him know how he hurt you and his punishment is a breakup. Don’t take him back, at least not yet. You have to punish that behavior so he won’t walk all over you, ok? It’ll be really crappy for awhile but remember…it’s not you, it’s him! Some people are just messed up and don’t think before leaping.

  7. Thank you AquaTrainer

  8. sex appeal says:

    sweet hard u are a sag with a pisces. Run far awy from him as possible he will always wnt u because u are easy to get over on and most of the time u cater to him I am a pisces female that had a baby by a pisces man diastet because he was hiding a girl friend and a baby on a way real sexy guy very trifling and sneaky always making up stories that I will believe knowing they was lies and his girl friend that became his wife and he was playing both of us like big chess game I got pregnant and he got married to her she also a sag I left him a lone because I discover so many lies that u wouldn’t imagine I was left confuse and. Furious I disappeared for a long time and he stalk me but since I am a pisces I saw right threw him but pressure bust pipes and he would talk about his wife like a dog to me tell me all her business but but that’s just to make me feel comfortable they tend to wnt what they cnt have and he will do more stuff to u if u stay trust me never wnt to see u happy I think the men love y’all sag people because y’all will alwys take them back play him first before he play dnt trust nothing come out his mouth its lies trust me I know never will mess wit no more of them never

  9. So true. Pisces often times tend to be martyrs even if its not healthy anymore. But there are few exceptions when they tend to “grow up” in deed. Just be careful and try investigate further if your partner is cheating on you or your just being paranoid.

  10. learnasugo says:

    Okay, a so-called Piscean here. Male at that. Let me tell you, I have been a troubled soul all my life, and I will be turning 35 in a month, March 4. Again, this will sound like a martyr-mentality type of complaint, but bear with me. And yes, this involves unresolved inner conflicts stemming from childhood experiences…
    Before I was 7 years of age I did more than just play doctor with a few girls. I actually tried to have sex with them in various locations and in various positions. I don’t know how I could have thought this up by myself at that tender age, but my older Sag sister gave me a clue when she said that our parents sometimes allowed us children to climb on dad’s back while they were having sex. I have no conscious recollection of this.
    Anyhow, I was caught with a dirty magazine that I and a few friends had found in the woods, and my parents confronted me about this. Not very sternly, just revealing that they knew about it. At about the same time I hit my girl because she had stopped being intimate with me, and I got a mild but frightening beating from her dad.
    All this contributed to my being hesitant to deal with girls intimately. So I admired them from afar. Made out with a few at 12, but nothing naked. A girl in my class had a crush on me from 4th grade to 9th grade, but since I wasn’t attracted to her nothing happened between us. Instead I had crushes on other girls, from a distance. I was flattered by her lusting after me, having my Ascendant and Moon in Leo, but it turned me off when she alluded to her sexual experience with an older guy that looked like a rodent. Literally, he did.
    Can you tell by now that I’m self-centered…?

    I always longed for a girlfriend, but my insecurities grew. I wasn’t really into graphic pornography until I was 15, and that clashed with the mushy romantic movies I saw on TV, and so I became confused about the do’s and don’ts. I gave in to perverted fantasies over time. I had my few chances with girls but I was afraid of them, because I didn’t know what to do with them any longer, and doing what I saw in pornography didn’t feel right. I didn’t know the boundaries.

    There was a girl I was sort of together with for 7 months, when I was 21, but I didn’t know which ones of my passions and desires I could allow to come into practice, so we never got to sex, and time went by and I suppose she got bored with me, because I was boring, still insecure, not knowing which impulses to embrace. What was normal, and accepted.

    In my mid-20′s I realized I couldn’t get an erection from one-night-stands. I tried a few, and failed. To me, it felt pointless to have sex if it wouldn’t lead to more. And since I didn’t know the girls, how could I have known if I wanted it to lead to more? Plus, I don’t like condoms, and these days, post-30, I’m pretty much against contraceptives as a whole, so I think thrice before I approach a girl. But due to not knowing if I will be able to perform (because I am hesitant) I postpone getting intimate until I am doomed. I’m an open-minded guy (although I am against tattoos and piercings and promiscuity) and like kinky stuff, albeit combined with times of tenderness. I like admiring a girl’s face sometimes, to the point of exaggeration maybe. But that’s just the initial falling-in-love stage. I’m not all that romantic and lovey-dovey. I’m practical but I am lost.

    Seeing how everyone around me sleep around from left to right, without any thought of long-term commitment, I get bitter and resentful, knowing that I’m not that one-night-stand type of guy, yet I need sex and much of it. I don’t want to be like everyone else, but I wished things would run more smoothly for this Pisces. This involuntary absense, and other people’s promiscuous lives, have taught me to justify a few cheatings on my part, in a stable relationship. Because most girls have slept around, and I have a right to my share when I’m finally with my future love, who I then intend to marry and have lots of children with. I have been denying myself sexual outlet for so long, involuntarily so when I’m secure with sex, I will get my share for a little time and then drop it.

    Now, I have been a Christian for 6 years or so. I am against adultery and fornication. But I’m gonna take my share of the cake before it’s too late, but stop before the first child comes. I’m good with children and other people recognize this. Come to think of it, if I didn’t have my few hang-ups I would be a perfect husband and father, and maybe even a pillar of society. The sexual bit, together with an insecure vanity, has cause me most heartache in this life. As of now, I’m not insecure about anything but the sex, and most girls seem to want to go to bed pretty much immediately, and that’s when I lose my cool. Yeah yeah, I’m the archetype for a martyr, right?

    Anyway, time’s running out on me. What I’m not sure about is: Should I go for that mushy, almost platonic love for a girl, or for that kinky and passionate desire for a girl? I could start out all innocent with the first and “progress” sexually (yet not reaching my desires), or I could go for the kinky woman and hope I can conjure up affection for her down the line. I sort of want to have both: The cuddly, and the raunchy.

    This is not a forum for these issues, but do give advice if you got ‘em!

    Swedish “pisces” (Asc Leo, Moon Leo, Venus Aries, Mars Aqua, Jupiter Taurus, Saturn Leo. And a detrimental Leo in first house opposing my Asc and Moon..)

  11. I’m a Pisces and have never cheated ever. Cheating isn’t one of those things that has to do with someone’s sign. That’s a value issue.

  12. March15 says:

    hello

    i am a Pisces male, Scorpio moon, Gemini rising. Well i am going to offer my perspective on this issue.but first i just want to say that Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to another person. its the ultimate rejection of their contribution towards your journey and the goals you both worked on.

    with that being said, lemme state a few facts about Pisces males…well i’m one i should know.

    1, not all Pisces are the same… assuming that everyone who has the fishes as their sun sign are all the same is kind of…..well screw that……is, biased.

    2, this is a tough one to say, You are not the person that your Pisces man fell in love with… if astrology is true, which i believe somewhat, then you gotta realize that as a Pisces, we tend to see everything in rose colored spectacles. i am 22, and i have a dreadful job, but i kinda make it easier on myself by imagining little adventures while doing the work that i am supposed to. i think it goes the same for relationships. First we are attracted by your body and attitude. we tend to drape you with rich red silk scarves and gold ornaments in our mind. then when we get into a relationship with you, slowly and slowly that image gets carved out and disfigured until we fail to recognize what we fell in love with you for in the first place.

    3, pisces hate criticism. no matter how much we try to hide it, we hate it. for example, i detest criticism. i may not do a job as perfectly as a Virgo but i give it all my emotion and do it with feeling. its just that i am not as practical. hell, we can criticize the hell out of any sign if we want to and mostly we want to. but there is this little voice at the back of our minds that shows us all our flaws and hence we back off. we can criticize a Leo for being too demanding, a Scorpio for being too controlling, a Virgo for being to critical, a Sagittarius for being too loud-mouthed, an Aries for being a hot head, a Taurus for being stubborn, a Gemini for being duplicitous, an Aquarius for being detached, a Capricorn for being dull, and a Libra for being indecisive( Sorry! most Libras i met, i do not get). the difference is all these signs will be outwardly aggressive. they let it out. we do not. i don’t get why people criticize Pisces people so much when we are the very reflections of the people we interact with and the environment we live in. you can’t be mad at your own self but you’ll be mad at a Pisces because he embodies you… he shows you the exact way that you are behaving. Plus who do you go to when you have emotional troubles????

    3) Pisces need sometime alone…this is mostly what my parents did not get when i was a teenager, I NEED SOME TIME ALONE. it does not always have to be you or about you. its me. i need to recharge. just like food and water. it is important to me. just because i do not call you in a week, does not mean i hate you. it is just that i need sometime before i face you again.

    4) Pisces have no egos. Remember that we are the “self-undoing” sign. and to say that a pisces does not give anything in a relationship is quite a statement. if we do not have any egos, then what have we that we need to feed and nurture? nothing. then we go and nurture those whom we love. Many Leos do not accept that because they feel like we should place all our attention on them. ladies, OK fine let that be the case. If you knew this, why were you attracted to Pisces man in the first place. Because you know he is capable of giving you attention and nurturing. knowing women, that is exactly what they want in men, Security( emotional and financial…i know most Pisces, including myself, are addicts of some sort but Pisces also have the most millionaires in the whole zodiac…Virgo the most billionaires)…i digress…

    5) NEVER EVER UNDERESTIMATE PISCES OR ANY OTHER PERSON FOR THAT MATTER. remember that a spider, as small as it is, can kill a human being many times its size. Read more about Pisces Shadow personality online. you may be probably thinking, ” i can mistreat this guy and he will come back to me many times over.” you’re probably right. when pisces fall in love they fall hard. But anybody can take in so much BS until it get to your nerves. I have a Taurus Sister-in-law. i figure if all Taurus are like her, i’d likely bow out of the relationship. too much BS, you turn the fist into a cold ,emotionless Stoic Statue…and i beg you, never ever wait for him to be warm towards you again.

    So basically here are the things that change a pisces into a cheat.

    1, Your Image in his mind is too distorted. You are unattractive anymore( Leos watch out)
    2, Your constant criticism and determination to change him( Libras and Virgos watch out)
    3, Your controlling behavior( Again Leos, Scorpios and Aquarians watch out)
    4, Your Blunt and Domineering manners( Leos, Aries, Sagittarians watch out)
    5 your difference in opinion( Gemini and Virgos watch out)
    6, Your Pride and unwillingness to understand ( Leos and other fire and air signs)
    7, maybe he just wants to experiment, Remember Jupiter is our Ruler and that god was a freaking cheat. you can ask Juno if you want to…haha.

    But yeah, Cheating is bad…i have yet to experience being cuckolded and until i do, i will never feel how you feel right now. the only thing i could say is, Astrology being true or untrue, i hope you make it to the other side of this dilemma content and expectant. i don’t know what the fuss is about us Pisces anyway…we seem to attract even those people who think we suck… Well so long as we’ve got Neptune to comfort us, it is all okay….till next time

  13. In highschool, I was dating a Gemini guy (I’m a Virgo Sun, Moon and Scorpio Rising by the way) until this Pisces (14/3) showed up.

    He was in college (20), but I knew he was in my school for years, we were never friends, but he always said “Hi” everyday for 4 years and I knew nothing about him. He did that weird “stare” thing to me, sometimes, without talking. Well he was cute.

    Well when I was with the Gemini, the pisces went to my highschool visiting friends. He always touched my shoulders and said “Hi” or “How are you?” and then ran away like in the past. One day I broke up with my Gemini and the next day, the Pisces was there again. I decided to give him a chance, so, when he was about to left I asked him his name. He just turned around and stare at me, he said *his name* and smiled, then we spent the break talking about his life, he told me a lot of sweet things and that.

    He disappeared for 3 months then we met in the streets, the bus, and everywhere by any chance, he was just staring at me and didn’t say anything! Even we could be face to face accidentaly and was, like fate. I was pretty dreamy and naive, I was 17, yes but I never had a real boyfriend.

    In christmas time, he added me to facebook and msn. We started to chat everyday and asked me to go to the beach and a trip with his parents, I refused both. Next week asked me to take a walk and eat icecream, so finally, we had a date, then were 3 dates and he never asked me to be his girlfriend just kissed me, and then we were going out for 9 months, before I could realize I was stayin the nights in his flat.

    Then the thuth came out, by one of his friends I knew he had a girlfriend, a 4 years relationship! she was in college miles away. I just went mad ok, went MENTAL and he said a lot of crap (he didn’t knew he was in a relationship with her (?), he wasn’t even talking with her since 1 year ago, I didn’t knew about her co’s he just forgot that subject).

    I realized many things, like when I was logging in msn he changed his avatar picture (first was a picture of him and a girl smiling) and when the “Hii <3" thing came on the screen the photo was switched to a picture of him alone. Yes, it was the SAME girl. The same girl I saw once walking with him while he stopped and turned around to stare at me in the middle of the street. I found his paralel facebook profile "in a relationship" with this girl, with a lot of pictures of them kissing, and partying with their friends on holidays! when we just started to date and recent pictures too.

    So I took all my stuff and I got my ass out of that flat. He was calling me, texting me, and playing the "victim" after that, staring at me with watery-teary eyes in the street, yelling that I was never in love with him, that I used him from the start, that his heart was broken, that he would never love me again cos' I was cruel and mean, and all that crap. Like I was the one trying to win him back again!

    Short story, a few weeks later, the same friend told me that now he was dating a 14 years old girl and that his old girlfriend left him.
    At the end, it was a HORROR experience, so I don't trust in them anymore, in men in general, but even less in Pisces men. So, that was all.

  14. how did you find out that this girl broke into your angel’s home? It sounds kind of stupid that she randomly breaks into his house from hella days ago…it just sounds like a classic pisces lie.

  15. I’ve been with a pisces for a long time…my mother is a pisces too. I’ve also been in a short term relationship with a pisces. They are great seducers, and always seem to remember tiny things you liked or are into to make you feel special. But when it comes to arguing they are the worst person to pick a battle with. Having a mother as a pisces can be golden and numbing. She is a beautiful person and a very happy mom, but so sensitive and defensive that any argument you encounter hits you right back in the face- like hitting a wall. The long term boyfriend pisces loves you more than you will ever know, but he thinks if people should have a problem with him, then it’s their own problem. Compromising can be tough to get out of a pisces since he seems to enjoy being in an unbalanced relationship. He likes variety and can dig your earthy side. You shouldn’t play hard to get because he actually wont have time for that. He will see a beautiful woman, but think you only want him for lusty sex. If you are in love with him, then you should devote yourself to him, unconditionally. This does not mean to forget about your own life – make sure you still do the things you need to accomplish and get through. He will most likely respect that you have a life of your own and this will keep him interested. (hopefully those last two sentences go for all relationships and people) :)

  16. Im part of a community where I interact with various people, single and married, all ages. We do activities together. I always had nice conversations with a married Pisces man (I didnt know then that he was PIsces) in our group… I felt that he liked me, but he is very devoted to his family and a great guy in general. Im divorced.
    This summer somehow he started to display some possessiveness combined with care towards me. I didnt pay any attention, but we saw each other at some events. Then suddenly he started to avoid me and changed his behavior… he became kind of sad and thoughtful. Before he was always very cheerful and social.
    Suddenly I developed feelings for him, out of blue. These strong feelings just were there one day, I cant remember when they appeared. I have 5 planets in Scorpio in my chart, probably I picked up some undercurrent.
    Then there was a group trip where we both participated, it was scheduled a long time before. It was pure torture for both of us. He avoided me and at the same time wanted to be close, it was obvious that he struggled inside. I felt all these vibrations. He confessed me his feelings twice in a subtle way, but we never talked about it. Only casual interaction.
    Now months have passed. He doesnt come to the group activities any more (I think I know the reason….), but we see each other sometimes due to other circumstances (work).
    I have feelings strong for him and I can see that he has feelings for me too.
    I think such neptunian things can occur only with Pisces men (and Scorpio women probably). I know that the situation is difficult, so I just pray. I do nothing to meet him, but we meet nevertheless.
    ps Im in my forties, he is older.

  17. I’m a scorpian women I was with my Pisces guy for 3yrs……everything was so wonderful with this guy I introduced him to my children and he introduced me to his too…..he always would tell me how much he loved me and how blessed he was me being in his life….he had friends that were females but when a scorpian women gives you her trust

  18. RizaCake says:

    I just started dating Pisces, and he is very compassionate, loving, and tender. However, there are times he has a dark, seedy side where he thinks devious things about me. He is very lustful, and very good in sex. He is mindful of money. Overall, he has both good and bad, like me, and we have a good relationship, though I think for an Aquarius and Pisces male, they may start looking other places despite such a loving and compatible due to some mutual feeling of unfulfillment on both their parts.

  19. Alecia Chrin says:

    Hello all! A little perspective from a Pisces woman! To the woman who is a Cancer… yeah, best you stay away from us! We cant stand how easily your feelings get hurt.. We love those Scorps and Leos! Leos, we love the way you treat us, but well, you dont make us feel secure! Leos are sexy, but not that raw sexy. I used to have a thing for Sagittarius, but once I got older, I moved more to the Scorpio side. Need more stability. Scorpios, once you get in, you are in! But we will lie, lie, lie, lie and lie some more to a Scorpio… you are bit shady, like thats an understatement, so no need to tell the true tale to you. Yet, when you find out, the punishment we endure, well, we do the marytr thing very well, so the sadist meeting the masochist is cool.. to a point. But it gets boring. Im not paying for an eternity. Especially not when I am constantly sought after. But this is so cool to read about the other perspective… I know they say the Pisces/Pisces is the strongest union, I personally dont see what you ladies see in a Pisces man. To me, its like dating a girl. He got Harlequin romance novels, mood swings, way too much going on. But he is brilliant and very high thinking, so for me, some of the best friends I’ll ever have! But no dates! Yuck! LOL Thank you though, I wish there were more Scorpio women on here. Yep, those are the ones I want to hear from. Because I must say Scorpio stole my heart. Like no other. Even when Im burned out from the punishment, in the end, I will always see him. It almost seems like they burrow a path to your soul. So please continue to share! This is great stuff! FYI, we know who we are leaving you for once we leave. We dont even tell the person, but we just know. But it isnt who you might think it is. And for the one with the guy who cheated with the ex, yeah, he is trlling the truth, and she means nothing to him. Hes just as mad about being played as you are about the situation happening. Its happened to me to. I know this sounds strange, but punish him. Not forever, but he needs to be punished for it, from you. We need to feel like we paid our dues for any wrongs we cause. Its our way. :)

  20. Alecia Chrin says:

    Hey Ides of March, great post!!! Thank you, thank you for that part about we are only a mirror of our environment! Im so using that with my Scorp! Im going to watch with enjoyment as he completely loses his shit! It will be hysterical! :) Love it!

  21. My boyfreind dosent cheat ..remember every guy is diffrent and every sign cheats

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