It’s cruel, cold, and worst of all I think he knows it. He has been distant in the past, has come back to tell me he was sorry about it and that he was weighing his “options” … whatever that meant? Could have been work-related, relationship-related, money-related, ex-related, etc. No idea.

All I know is whenever I try and pursue, he runs further away and becomes colder. If I distance myself then he lays on the sweets. This time is quite different for me. I am pretty sure he is upset that I called him out on driving drunk, maybe he is re-evaluating whether he wants someone to “care” about him in that regard. He states over and over again he likes to do what he wants to do.

I also opened up and told him what I appreciated about him, as a friend, told him I don’t judge him and that I believe he is a rare bird and admire his pure approach to life (the earth in him I guess), and no response. Who knew? lol.

I’m not going to reach out, I might just wait and see what happens and if it is different from the other “distancing” scenarios to occur.

Yet, I was wrong.

After some time passed and we’d hung out several times, he started to “drift away”. At first, I thought it was only in my mind, although I had to ask him about it. It wasn’t such a good idea, since he kept telling me “everything’s fine” and I just had to shrug it off. As time went on, things got even colder. He stopped saying nice things, he stopped having time for me (although that was subjective, as he always had time for other non work-related things) and I almost felt as if I’d made all the previous parts up in my head. I’ve asked him about the coldness and not wanting to spend time together, but he’s under the impression that everything’s exactly the same as it was when we first met. He also told me that he never wanted to get into a relationship, yet believed I was a great person to be with and everything should be “laid back”, as he put it.

A couple of days ago I sent him a letter, as I had too much in my mind that I wanted to get out, undisturbed by virgo’s “I’m right and you’re wrong” attitude. I poured my heart out and remained calm throughout the whole writing, so he couldn’t make me feel as the bad person, as he had previously done. In the end we couldn’t agree on what we both had initially wanted. I told him I was sorry to hear, that he’d lost all interest (which he didn’t admit, but it does show) and that I could not be the person waiting and running after him until he felt like meeting up with me. My invitations were, in most cases, dismissed. The “relationship” was on his terms. Now I cannot help but feel angered, that the even charmed me in the first place. Could have saved my sanity. Oh yeah, I haven’t talked to him since, yet we go to the same school and technically see each other every day. It’s devastating.