What makes an Aries woman nervous around a man?

If an Aries woman senses that a man will get in the way of her independence, or try to stifle her will in any way, she will feel like a caged animal. When you box in a mammal whose nature it is to thrust ahead, you elicit anger. When she realizes that she has no power to transcend this imposed limit, she feels anxious. Keep her locked in long enough, and she gets depressed.

This is no way to treat an Aries, man! If an Aries woman gets antsy around you, it’s a sign that you need to back off, give her some space. You cannot control the burst of new life that is Spring, so what makes you think you can control an Aries woman? It’s like trying to prevent a bud from blooming. The force of nature cannot be contained.

Comment below: Are you an Aries woman? What makes you nervous?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

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Comments

  1. Bliss says:

    Hmmm, I don’t get locked in unless I want to. The cage has to be pretty. ;) That doesn’t make me nervous. What gets me nervous is meeting someone who has a profound effect on me. Someone who can cut me to the core. Someone who will have a deep impact on my life and make me question my motives.

    I don’t agree with the other Arian women who mention a competitive feeling with successful men. I love successful people (as I feel we have something in common) and will be their biggest cheerleader as I feel success breeds more success and being in their midst will teach me something. Perhaps being in the Sag decan makes me more open-minded and optimistic.

  2. Maggie says:

    Yup, I second Bliss’ comment completely. I can be competitive within myself, but not really with others – more the enthusiastic cheerleader for those I care about and am close to. Maybe it’s the Sag moon :-)

    Like most Aries, I want to be showered with complimentary attention but not in a co-dependent or insecure kind of way. Let me know if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty confident speaking for most Aries (sun) women when I say that one of the surest ways for a partner to kill the love spark is to require constant reassurance and validation of our interest in them.

  3. Jill says:

    I agree with Maggie. I am competitive, however, but only with those who I know can beat me, and usually its only when they are competitive with me as well. I hate losing.
    But I’m not a Sag Moon like the other two. :P
    What bothers me in a man is when he is–as Maggie put it–co-dependent on me and gives me complimentary attention in an insecure kind of way. I like it when compliments are sincere and confidently handed out. ;D Not from a guy who views me to be higher on the food chain than him.
    That might be just me, though. :)

  4. adriana says:

    gemini boy,an aries lady when in love is too possesive but when they are out of love,they just dont care anymore.i have similar experience,i like this guy,and i do everything to show him i care,and he of course dated so many girls at the same time and i made it clear i want loyalty,but when i realised that staying with him will hurt me(i love myself so much),i just go away.no warning,no sign.thats how he said i had left.no warning,no sign.and now he is going nuts trying to get together with me again,when asked why other girls he dated cant fill his lost,he said im the best.well of course we are the best,we made u feel like a king,well aries women out there,sorry if i say this but we aries gave ourselves completely and be a slave if we really like someone.but if we r unappreaciated,then to hell,we’ll move on in no time.

  5. Bliss says:

    No, I’m an Aries moon. And Adriana is right: “we aries gave ourselves completely and be a slave if we really like someone.but if we r unappreaciated,then to hell,we’ll move on in no time.”

  6. lol just curious, how many guys you left that come chasing after you? most of my exes have feelings of regret after i leave them without warning. then they become bitter when they find that i am moving on.

  7. Jill says:

    @anotherariesgirl Most of my exes regret it yeah…mostly coz I just suddenly got bored, or I lost interest, and like all of you say, when we do that, the flames are just completely gone. :/ we’re either all in, or all out. And I think that’s why guys usually feel bitter. I had to recently tell off my ex because he was constantly nagging me about how I should feel guilty about leaving him. But instead of feeling guilty it made me really po’ed. :/

  8. Nathan says:

    Scorpio boy here.
    Not many people can make an aires girl nervous, she is too confident and headstrong. I’ve succeeded though, with one look of direct eye contact, I can make an aries girl quiver. How do I know? I’m dating an aries and what can I say oppisites attract.

    Aries are loyal once I they haven chosen their partner but there’s no denying their nature and that is to run free and wild. I’ve caged my aries girl and yes, the cage is awfully pretty. Call it love, call it selfish, call it anything you want but given my nature, and that is to be jelous and controlling, I’ve manipulated the aires needs to run free and wild into something that will help the realtionship and because we are so different, the fire that brings us together, never ever dies.

  9. Bliss says:

    @Nathan, That’s the good kind of nervous us Aries girls dream about. Wish you guys the best! :)

  10. kurt says:

    Honestly, the posts I read from other Aries women seem to resonate with my my experience that they tend to be heavily self-absorbed, and lightly self-aware.

    For this Scorpio, it’s “game over”.

  11. ramariel says:

    As an Aries there’s a few things that make me nervous around a man but only if I care for him. They are: Controlling and demanding words, hard body language, emotional outbusts, rejection to my affection and thoughts, lack of or overly affectionate, invading my space and privacy, and refusing to share information. We are naturally open, giving and compassionate people right away but we want to have it in return. If these things are not given as freely as we give or want it to come to us, then we become nervous cause we know that these are the things that will make us do a 90* turn on you because we feel we have given you every opporunity to do the same. You can win an Aries back to you if you just be patient and do the things she loves like being: open, kind, faithful, truthful, considerate, affectionate and informative. These things will keep her from being nervous around you by reassure her that you are interested in having her.

  12. Ari3sfire says:

    @Nathan I’m curious. How do you disguise said glided cage? it’s not hard to capture an Aries if she’s into you; it’s much harder to keep her & keep her amused.

  13. SeduceMySpirit says:

    @Nathan

    I am curious about this cage. Care to share what it looks like? :)

  14. angela says:

    as a typical Aries girl i will tell u one thing.. u wont have an hard time amusing an Aries girl if u love adventure and new things.. lol.. plus sex..lol.. and if you are faithful and honest .it is a pluss .. and But always be yourself

  15. nikki says:

    as far as romantically, the kinda guy who makes me nervous is super intimidating, likely very, very successful and someone I look up to, like an older Leo man. ;)

  16. @Nikki,

    …me too. A man who is intelligent, powerful and success will make my knees shack and as I try to hide the anxiety, I get accident -prone (falling all over myself). Yeeees, an older Leo. I almost married one last year but, that damned Scorpio Moon messes it up for me everytime. But, the Mars in Taurus kept me tempted. My ex-husband of 14 years is a Leo. That was love at first sight for both of us.

    I’m not the kind to be too descriminating with Sun signs but, the track record for success with me seems to be Leos and Cancers. Most of my relationships have been with Leos. And these relationsips have been the longest and the easiest… when the lion meets the lamb.

  17. Aries man says:

    This is soo true. I am dating a scorpio man and his jealous streak makes me want to stay couped up all the time, and I’m depressed. i want to make him happy all the tiem I guess cuz it botts my ego, but i feel like im choosing his happiness over mine too much. I need a life!

  18. fire_n_desire says:

    heavily self-absorbed, lightly self-aware…

    true, yet this is something that can be worked on.

    scorpios make me nervous as hell as an aries, but in a good way. i believe our opposites attract, and there is much to be learned from scorpio.

    and yes, we HATE HATE HATE it when dudes become puppy dogs, catering to our every whim

    …ignore us, but only to make us come closer.
    …neglect us, but only to return to us with passion.

    “open books” have secrets too.

  19. @fire_n_desire

    What do you think you need to learn from Scorpio?

    “‘open books’ have secrets too”. Love it!

  20. K-rock says:

    Wow…I am a Leo and I just met a female aries. She tells me all of the time that she is nervous when speaking to me or singing a song she wrote. She never explains why she is nervous, but I do seem to amuse her.

  21. Mark says:

    sorry to bump this one up
    I’m a scorpio male and I’m dating an Aries woman, gahhhhhttttt she is the opposite I am.
    I don’t know if she is jealous or what but it makes me feel comfortable with her. No woman has ever done what she has done so far.
    Today is our 1st month together and I love how things are going, yes, I am posssessive and jealous and she loves to get me jealous and I do the same just to spark our fire and then head to bed all pissed off and destroy each other.
    I know it sounds really crazy but I love this woman.
    Something that I don’t get.. is that… she doesn’t look for me, but she wants me to be posssessive and be all in her business, I don’t know if any aries woman is like that but she likes me to be on top of her and since I’m a scorpio that’s what I do but at the same time I don’t want to cus my last relationships I was just like that and I tend to suffocate woman.
    But she wants it that way, I dont know if I should keep doing or stop, I dont wanna lose her.

    Any thought about this?

  22. NovLady says:

    @Mark
    What are your planets? Rising, moon, and venus? And hers?

  23. Bliss says:

    @Mark, Aries women want a strong man. If you have proven yourself by your love for her, she’ll trust you to dominate the relationship. Secretly, she wants that.

    Aries can be quite possessive & jealous so she needs that from you to make her feel secure. It sounds like she really likes you (or more) enough to want that from you. If we find a mate that we can trust & most of all, respect, she will have no problem with your desire to get closer.

  24. AquaTrainer says:

    um….I’m only saying this from three Aries girls I’ve known…..not very jealous types. Possessive? Nah, just if you’re gonna be late, let them know. You usually have to give these strong proud be-otches a reason to be jealous.

  25. Bliss says:

    @Aqua: Were these love relationships? Yes, we don’t get jealous if we are not in love or if the guy/girl doesn’t give us a reason.

    Once in love, any hint from a the object of our affections not totally into it as we are will raise the hackles of jealousy and that hidden possessiveness will come out.

    How can you tell when we are in love? We become unselfish and possessive.

  26. Chloe says:

    Aries woman with sag moon, I usually become nervous when I find someone who I am actually interested in. I stumble a little on my words and I can’t help but smile. Usually Aries, Geminis and Libra men do this to me. Leo men just make me mad. They are too aggressive and want to prove they are superior.

  27. Roxy68 says:

    Hi Everyone , Bliss also who just stands out because your profile picture is unique. Ok this is my issue , I am a Woman in-fact always normally on the scorpio blog talking about my relationship which just recently ended after 11 years , because he just kept beating me down, as a cancer we are already hard on our selves so the last thing I needed was a scorpio , who was always negative ……and blaming me, for is bills etc. Any how I have had three relationships with three girls as a result , first two just flings , and the last one was a 6 month build up that actually ended up with us becoming almost like wives, she was with her scorpio for 16 years , but finally broke free a year ago.well she helped me get through so much crap , being kicked out etc, but it was also fun hysterical also,, we giggle about every thing, so as she put it were were stuck like glue, only problem was , we are both not working, she because she had a child and me because I resigned due to bullying from work as well as home, I was at my lowest.as all relationships go we couldn’t keep our hands off each other , although I torn because of the nature of the relationship, she on the other hand seems happy and proud to say shes into women , but also seems to like to say she is bisexual.
    Ok she is a typical aries beautiful eyes and charming smile, but also she can be the most miserable dump in the world , and I noticed this more and more as time went on , she has a 4 year old boy , but even he was a tie in her eyes , but then he wasn’t,it was a case of when it suited it was fine , then it was never her fault if things got boring or regular. ok also she is a stoner ( smoker weed) now I dont do it my self , or think its write , but i loved her company and her. but again she would talk big dreams etc , I even wanted do a company concept with her , but then she would go off track and change her mind. I never wanted anything or demanded anything she always wanted to know everything about me or wanting to do everything for me ,Now I am the most independent woman ever , but if you persist hard enough I will eventually let you in and trust you.

  28. Roxy68 says:

    ok Part two , on sunday last week she picked me up from the station , and that aries criticism thing came out straight away how I am rude some times etc because I spoke my mind to the mcdonalds guy, but if she does it its her just specking her mind.well it burst my childish bubble , and I just went quiet couldn’t speck nothing I dont know why just clamped up. that went on for 4 hours , just couldn’t lift out of it , we eventually through it and hugged ,but we felt out of sync, she had been out on the friday with old friends, so maybe that was it , but as a cancer , we can tell when somethings wrong….. anyway we went to the park sunday , and we were chill-in in the sun then we had a spat about nothing , i cannot even remember what it-was it was so fickle… but she just came out with I dont want this anymore roxy…. I was like what , although she had said this at the start before when I was still with my guy, then she said i CANT DO IT ! and went into I know its selfish , but I just want to be alone, not thinking about anyone etc, Well I was fuming, not only was she the deciding factor for me leaving my relationship , she was the reason Ii moved 45 miles to be near her in a village were i dont know one soul , although its the most exclusive in the country. I was at the flat with her and her son a few days before that before the friday , and she wanted to stay over but I only had a single temporary blow up bed , as I have only just moved in.-she seemed disappointed, but she never pushed me to stay , so I assumed she was ok ,also as she is always going on about independence , and not getting to clingy.so to come out with I want to be single and then say I want to be free to sleep about when I choose , was so Hurtful but I swallowed it and didn’t make s scene. I dated my first who was a aries guy-for 8 years m and if you box them in they run… which I am like too when first bounding. I miss her so much , but I know begging will not change anything, or sympathy, so I have let her be although she says nothings changed just she loves me differently now , but wants us to be close for life , etc. we were meant to go to a 70s party today were her ex and all her mates are , but I have not called or texted her as I am staying a 100 miles away at my other home , near my father and brother, I was meant to be out last nite which she knew and text me to say have a lovely nite roxy x .. but I never responded to say thanks although I did text her with a message that was a reply to another friend and she text me again and said are you in town, i Said no , and she said no worries left it at that , so currently my phone as been quiet no messages to say are you coming back for the party , or anything.and I haven’t text her because I here aries will not change there mind once made up , although she did the first time when we were getting to know each other, but we were not intimate then. as such,.

  29. Roxy68 says:

    I know what happened she got bored , but she expects fun to be in her life daily , plus she doesn’t work , and when not smoking her moods are awful.ok why do you wanna be with her roxy ~? well its not so much the sex, its just that she as retracted from me so much , and I feel like she is just talking , about friendship but doesn’t mean it. I had bull s…… but I will not question it either ! why should I .I am suffering I have deleted all the photos text messages were for the last three days she text saying nite x. but its not good for my soul if my feelings are strong, and Im not going to make my self look like a quivering wreck , as she always seems to have a tale about her previous quest.

    So my question is can some one from the female species, help me out, I still want to be close as were were and if its friendship time will tell. but what happened,its so clod , and yes I know that about aries too, and if she has found a new conquest fine, I know aries flip quickly , she was crying all the way in the car to drop me to the station, but I felt like saying what you crying for , its me who is dying here , I lost you and all because I was made homeless by my man and-had no were to go , and as a result ended up in your space everyday for 4 weeks…….. we need to miss each other , she craved me when i was away. but I think the silence killed it when we were together. im hurting , I dreamt about her so much last nite , and didn’t want to .I want her out my heart , but also want her not to be as she is so lovely and loyal …. i know cutting my nose will do me no good , but the ache , it hurts , and I am lost as to what she is after as she doesn’t know her self , but its not a relationship right now, but neither was I … so why push me away so hard.???????? any angle will be good I just want to discuss with like mined Aries girls …. guys are ok but the girls will understand better. please no sarcasm , not yet anyway , as I couldn’t deal with it , this is a serious discussion Im trying to raise ok ……much love Roxy.x

  30. Bliss says:

    Roxy,

    This Aries girl may not be comfortable having a serious relationship with another woman. Is she totally out about being gay or is she just enjoying an occasional relationship with the same sex? I think that’s the real issue here. Was her previous long term relationships with men?

    How long have you known her and have you talked about being ‘out’ in your lives. She has children and that may be a reason why she has a problem committing to a woman. Aries can be quite traditional. By what you have written about her crying, she obviously cares very deeply about you. We don’t get bored by people we love because in reality, we’re not the exciting anyway. It’s only those who refuse the reality that long term relationships will have it’s ups and downs that act that way. After 29 years of age pretty much we know that.

    I sympathize with you because from what I know as a straight person from gay and bi friends, it’s much easier for strict gay or straights to form relationships. I don’t mean to be offensive but bi’s seem to be more influenced from societal norms and won’t form strong bonds with the same sex. Bottom line, if she really loved you, she would toss those cares away and be with you. There is something holding her back but I hate to have you suffer in the process. Move on as soon as you can because Aries will make up their minds fairly quickly so if she’s doing anything to lead you on, take care of yourself and protect your heart.

  31. Roxy68 says:

    Hi Bliss

    Thank you for graceing me with your pressence, I have been getting some awesome advice via anothrr Aries female, so she as seen how this as progressed since this last message I left here thank god as I was so upset at the thought me and this Aries friend of mine , or shall I say lover as been going, she was my rock , but it seems Im slowly getting the Aries womans needs and wants,,, passions , and pervestions lol……

    Ok my responses are gonna be to thois , but A lot as happend since I wrote here and we split so hope we can catch uop after this post today.but first my responses to your questions. Im a crap cancer by the way , I understand Aries is attrated to Scorpios and Cancers excluding the fire signs, but in the chineise zodiac aries is a Sheep , and they are attracted to the western Cancer also.

    Bliss :
    This Aries girl may not be comfortable having a serious relationship with another woman.

    Roxy :
    she is this becasue you are tradional ?

    Bliss:
    Is she totally out about being gay or is she just enjoying an occasional relationship with the same sex?

    Roxy :
    No I was looking on a gay web site out of curiosity and also would you believe , I felt as I was in a relastionship with a male at the time he was a scorpio… long story I blogged on the scorpio site, I thought well let me see whats up why I feel this strong pull to women, thats were I meet her on there ,m we had a blind date , we instantly felt attracted and were at each other for months , but we were both going through a split with our partners ,who would you beleive are both Scorpios men, she was with hers since she was 16yrs for 16 years , and i was with my most recent who was my fiance for 11 years, untill I meet her , and i Knew marrying him was wrong , so it made my deciesion easier to leave him , although it was he who kicked me out , for the third time, and right after a major operation, so she took care of me for 8 weeks on her boat, she became like a mother , gf , wife all wrapped in one, neither of us wanted it to move so fast but circumstances threw us togeather , causing frustration. it happend to fast and we were enjoing each other , so to be in each others space for 247 … with out warning was a killer and we knew it.

    Bliss :
    Was her previous long term relationships with men?

    Roxy :
    Yes as you have read prior , we both were , but she as been seeking women since she had her baby which she said she never wanted , but did it becasue her boyfriend wanted a kid. she she sort of knew she was bi, Gay even , and more into women than men. she is stunning , actually we are both as you can see my image were both very female looking , hate that bloke looking thing.

    Bliss:
    How long have you known her and have you talked about being ‘out’ in your lives.

    Roxy:
    we meet last Nov on a gay cht site for me it was a fun ad bordom thing as my guy was away alot , blaming me for hios debts etc etc. .. so things were looking bad, then bing she relped to my message I want you! lol ,and we just talked and talked ,,, then it went to emails, fo rhours and days, then text messages, then i called her , at first I thought she was rude, and didnt like her accent , and omg she disliked mine too. but then after many times of trying to meet , we finally did , and neither of us were disappointed. we were totally obssesed , she was everything I liked and me or her too.

    She told me about her kid, and he is so cute ,skate boards and he was only 3 at the time, can ride a bite and is such a drama queen …. love him to bits. she we have known each other and were intimate for 7 months untill the day I messaged here.

  32. Roxy68 says:

    Bliss , she found me a new home in the most stunning and expensive village in England, and i struggled to settle , I was never there ,Long story , but I do own my own house else were too, but I had all sorts going on suing previous company etc, I am an actress by trade , sort of famous lol. and also famous from sports, etc , so that kinda gets her she loves it always ranting on about how she feels special .

    But since this blog we have been getting on again she started texting me all the time saying how we are friends and she thanks me for that, but then she asked to come and see me after 4 weeks , as I seemed to not be chasing, done that been there, so I said ok , we had been flirting etc, and she stayed the week/end and made love the whole , time, althou ,we did go and see stomp and had dinner etc, it was great truly was. so were friends right? lOL

    i Don’t know are we , i mean we are doing everything we did when we were dating,i.e.. making love talking , but the only difference is now, I am not at hers every night and not feeling crap any more, because of my split with my fiance. hell were talking every night on text nearly., I try and go absent , but then she still texts me, we even went shopping the other weekend , after a night long love making session, and she said we done the reason, season thing now were are doing the life thing, confused me, she old me she loved me in the morning , and I smiled , what can I say, we are meant to be acting like friends ,, but bliss do you text your friends all the time , and then meet to have sex, watch movies holding and kissing, not me, until now Lol.

    she was the one who went out her way at the start to let everyone know even her friends, As were I am the one who wants to stay in the closet, she is controlling of course ,but I let her have that …its easier.. and I also don’t do the famous Cancer thing now … as being down made me go back to that when I ha my problems inJan to June, with my ex boyfriend, when she meet me I was star , and distant but the reality of my problems seemed to become to much to demanding, but I told her i could cope , but she wanted to be involved , and got upset , when ever I said I could do it alone.

    So bliss as it stands she seems crazy for us again, although she doesn’t like the term gf,,,, yet she wants a gf.. mad I know I stopped trying to work it out ,i don’t now what we are, I guess I will let her work that out for now I am going with the flow , trying to get my company up and running, and focus on me and giving her attention when she asks for it, etc etc… no more no less, and it seems to have her dancing, selfish on her part , but one thing with Cancers, we will love you for ages and through thick and thin, but take the piss for to long and our love dies, never comes back , but we will always be your friend just not in love.

    If as an Aries woman you can figure that out as a Aries Woman bliss we got something to chat about Lol.

  33. Roxy68 says:

    Sorry about the typos , its on here I type it correctly, but it appears wrong in parts , so sorry bliss, if it seems out in places… Lol :0) rox

  34. Bliss says:

    Hi Roxy,

    Thanks for the info, I think I can break it down fairly easily. She is either not sure about committing to you fully, as in she wants to be free to date men or woman and doesn’t want to commit or that she can’t bring herself to be officially in a relationship with another woman.

    This is something you need to talk to her about. What you said about how you can only take so much but will go cold eventually if it isn’t reciprocated, I’m like that too. Aries want to know where they stand once they care deeply so find out what is stopping her. Don’t go with the flow, confront her, she won’t mind. She’ll appreciate your honesty but you will have to know what you really want which may mean not allowing an ambiguous ‘friend with benefits’ type of relationship and be willing to reject being intimate with her until she comes to a decision.

    DO NOT put your needs aside EVER! Be who you are and expect your needs to be met. Get this out in the open and be very direct in your language. State what you want and let her answer. You are not to be messed with (Aries understand that lol!). She needs to respect your needs and feelings too and the only way it will happen is by an honest discussion.

    I wish you well, hun.

  35. Roxy68 says:

    Hi bliss reciprocated that seems to be word Aries women use a lot , she did say also to me , that she wanted her feelings reciprocated otherwise it would work ! But bliss I have no trouble understanding what she wants she said she found it weird calling me her gf…… And she said she wanted to be free to sleep with someone it the occasion presented it self , but also she’s not looking, so bliss all I’m trying to ask nit that you will know all the answes but , as a Aries is she being shallow or is this normal.
    I personally don’t know truly she is doing everything that says she loves me but why bother if she wants freedom I though Aries were done once done, she text me again late last night , just saying how was I feeling this was 23.40 pm , again no real reson just to me it seems to let me know she was thinking about me is more the feeling I got. But it’s like she wants me but feels to scared to really say more , it’s this thing of were best friends then loads of kisses I know it’s sincere. But I will not poor more feelings totally as nit to look stupid . She’s gone done to the coast for two days , but I
    Cool with that , because were friends right! So I don’t know what to do stop the sex etc when we are close we unable to keep hands off but till when shemay turn round one day and say u know what I meet someone else so no more intimacy, so for that reason I want us to not be intimate… Oooooohhhhh bliss bloody Aries women hey lol.

  36. Roxy68 says:

    Sorry bliss it comes out diffent and bad spelling no matter how corret I type so hope you can make sense. Bliss she tells me she loves me ,, but then I’m her so soother , what the hell . She says we had a reason , season, and nows it’s for life ….. Bliss Aries a clear and she was clear on the 25th of july she couldn’t do serious , and static, but she seems to be the one who wants it her actions say a whole diffent thing ! Bliss in her she’s what is going on she says it’s not just sex she loves being with me .evens tells me when she misses me ….

  37. Bliss says:

    @Roxy,

    You said, “And she said she wanted to be free to sleep with someone it the occasion presented it self , but also she’s not looking, ”

    That pretty much says it all, don’t you think? No doubt she cares about you but not enough. So protect your heart and don’t give your all until she can. Sometimes you have to focus on one true statement and ignore all the other stuff (like how she loves being with you, blah,blah.)  Aries will take advantage of what they can get if they know it will always be there for them. Roxy, darlin, you deserve better. If I were you, I’d say let’s really just be friends (no sex) and say you’re willing to take things slow until she can commit fully to you.

  38. Roxy68 says:

    Ok Bliss … Morning from the uk, OK Bliss I know what your saying and I more than anyone know youre right! I also know Aries and cancers are the most amazing match when cancers put aside their insecurity, and just move forwards not side ways , and also let go of the insecuritires we suffer from time to time which make us sulk, which aries hate. these are traits I no longer suffer thanks to growing up with a aries father and three aries brothers and a sag , all of whom hate weakness……..

    I also know they are extreamly selfesh, somthing I hate but they balance it out with the smooth talking and generoisity, so I am well aware of what you said , and also beleive she is taking advantage of a situation that suits her both ways, but I also want you to know I am partly lettiing it happen because i want her , And I do love her. this ,morning at 4 am I couldnt sleep because there was a accident outside my fathers apartment where im staying for a week , while he rest in hospital, so I messaged her and said i am awake and missing your cute ass, so I hope i wake you with this lol. take care etc, well she messaged back flirting like crazy at 10.am this morning and we went on like that for 3 hours off and on till she invited her self other tomorrow sunday , for what is quite clear a invataion for love making.

    well I agreed etc etc, but then read your reply. i messaged back and said look I love our friendship etc etc, but you gotta be up to take your kid to school and you live 35 k away, i have to be up early Monday too for a interview, so I need to be fresh! so if you come sunday it needs to be early as I want to be fresh for the interviewetc etc…… plus its important right `I said 100% all or nothing, so if you come its coffee as agree a chat and thats it not joking lol…..

    well bliss as yet no relpy as earlier where she replied immediately, now Im not gonna second guess if i can help it, but I am assuming that might of made a a bit peved ,has I got her all worked up then cooled it down. your right i need to lay boundries, bcause the pull between us is immense, god knows why she just wont simplify things with just saying I love you and the truth is rox, your all I want but it scares me, simples dont you think Bliss…. Lol

    anyway weather i killed it I dont know but i do need to keep the focus on me , as I am single we are best friends , so it should not be a issue , ans if it is then shes lying to herself and me, yes it would hurt if we never have sex again , but I would rather that than her dropping it on me one day that she wants to stop making love with me because its wrong,! its a tough one, but truthful …. she does need to make it clear what it is we are doing, I mean she has even now decieded she wants me to go to her coast house appartment on the beach again with her some time soon , before her ex sells it next season.

    Bliss search me Im lost on this…. but your a star anyways …. im quite mature as you can tell , so I have learnt many hurts. I know aries can sometimes have foot in mouth disease and make deicions and regreat later , but she has to man up and tell me what really is going on in her heart tight?

    big love Rox.

  39. Bliss says:

    Roxy,

    Ask her out to lunch or dinner and really talk face to face about these issues. Get it all out in the open which means you will have to know yourself what you want and what you’re willing to settle for. No one can complain if their partner just wants a casual relationship and you go along with it even though you want more. It’s important to see the other person clearly because no matter how great those moments of great sex and companionship are, if you want something real, it eventually leaves you feeling empty and taken advantage of at some point.

    Love yourself first and hold out for what you want ultimately or adjust your emotions to allow yourself to enjoy whatever she is willing to give at this time. Think about what is important to you and act on it.
    Your last exchange probably just slapped her back into reality. In a way it was your fault for tempting her and you have to look at why you did that and is that what you want; a no strings attached relationship. Hey, maybe that will work for you since you might not be sure yourself, which is fine. Just get it straight in your own head so you won’t get upset for wanting more.

  40. Roxy68 says:

    Morning bliss …she got back to me Lol ..She got back to me 2 hours later , after I told her come round but only for coffee etc if thats what you really want.

    she – said baby your right we both need to be in good stead for Monday morning …it will probably be too late anyway, depends what time i leave the coast, so we can rain check xx .

    Rox – i replied with thanks I know u prefer honesty,although I crave you and miss u its important for me to be focused.,

    She – got back and said Baby…its all good this is how it should be….Say exactly what u like ….Put me in my place …I like it. Lol x

    We exchanged a chat last nite etc , nothing heavy just what she was watching etc, then she started on about how she wished she was in my bed etc,

    Roxy – look are you not in your friends bed chatting etc,, pointing out the fact that we are friends so surely you can be in her bed talking also ,

    She – replied with Oh god No! …..

    Roxy – I said why?

    She – replied with she’s cool But I have no need to talk in bed with her Lol….

    Roxy – I pointed out again but she’s Ur buddy , u have known her longer than me, excluding the fact we had sex and a relationship…..

    She-replied with , Roxy ! I cannot define what we are.

    Roxy – fair enough keep it light.

    she – said night

    Roxy-ok miss u.

    she-not for log x ,

    Roxy-why?

    She – well you told me you don’t miss me for long lol. …

    Roxy-how would you know ?

    She-I think u told me once that u miss me, then it goes away.

    She – do u know what

    Roxy – what?

    she – I have realised that u are the only person that really has got drive and thinks outside the box roxy most people are just stupid.. lol

    Roxy – you only just figured that out , theres more sides to me than you realise.

    she – do tell

    Roxy – I think Ur stunning, most times and the most beautiful being that hasn’t a clue , sometimes but I like to forget u at times too stop my dreaming.

    She – thanks although u know I hate Compliments.! lol

    Roxy – Yes! But mine are sincere! Not designed to manipulate, so except it, and shut up lol.
    i too use to hate them also , but a very famous Woman once told me, ( lady Diana) it is very lady like and shows class , to just politely say thank you ,when one receives a compliment , at a event i meet her at,

    there was a pause …………

    She – Baby!

    Roxy – Ok I will let you sleep now sorry ranting crap again lol.

    She – Roxy Im glad we met. x
    night,

    Roxy – Me too x

    And as you can see bliss there is a lot a love , but I don’t need to go to dinner with her, as I know she is caught in this phase of I don’t know what I want, I have other important matters to see to , like work , finishing my house to rent out , as well and pay my rent on another apartment Im living in. she is in some ways on the back burner, but I still have a great passion for her, and yes I would marry her …. easy I think and thats a big thing , for a black girl form Christian values to say.

    Bliss she has only one issue , were to live has her ex is selling their boat she currently lives on ,and the apartment on the coast she and he currently let out, but everything is in his name, but they have trust so that isn’t the issue here, and thats it,. she currently knows he has now moved on, with a girl who actually was a family friend, and at the start I don’t think she thought it would last , but she was adamant that she didn’t care , as she no longer loved him after 16 years ,because he suffocated her and constantly told her what to do..

    So now she has her freedom , no man telling her what to do , no commitment to anyone, not really any friends that are close so to speck , she is just sort of lost. She and I have made a strong bond, that is not only friendship , but also a very intense sexual , attraction , but with love and affection , she is very proud of me, and knows how successful I was and may be again , and I mean very successful. but she wants to make sure I make it, again I think , before she gives 100%…… so yes she is holding back. but we both know we also like our space. and freedom.

    so the bottom problem here is not that we don’t love each other, but how the end product will turn out ,and i think it’s her wanting to see where I end up more than me wondering where she will , she will just be a mum , working in odd jobs with lots of dreams of success but never quite finishing them off, so her goal is finding a successful partner, and she is into women more….. but I think ,she also knows that a man is most likely to have what she wants, unless I become massively over successful and blow her out the water, as thats the only thing missing from me right now.

    Long one so hope this is clearer. Aries women are very hard to please , they want freedom but also want fully committed lovers, with undivided attention. without too much obvious public display, they want the intensity of passion , control ,and power… plus constant excitement of something new each day , and all for just their love and loyalty, Lol…. Yes I have done my home work. and even i woulds say , that its a tall order, but Cancers are very versatile., so it does not worry me , as all that comes natural to me , bar the constant looking for venture and being out trying to create a challenge… on a daily basis…. thats were we seem to have a problem and she told me that , she says she needs mental stimulation other wise it cant work.

    Now for me,i feel for her to pre- warn me , tells me she wants us to work and she’s willing to offer the chance but she needs to see action . Very selfish , but I will do things at my speed, and not for her, if she’s there at the end fine. if not , she never loved me enough any how to get serious right. ?

    x

  41. Roxy68 says:

    Well its 22.oopm here in the Uk bliss and she she came round , on her way through to her home, for coffee and a chat, aS i invited her. it was ok actually , because it wasnt a rip your closthes off situation, we talked , then kissed a little, then we added in to the mix, a chat ,about us but in a suttle way , sort of giggles, kisses , then comments about how we are, I said I understood her need for space to be who she was , she agreed and said things like , but Im glad we are together and she missed me . I told her you know I love you but theres no rush ,unless a bus runs me over etc, then Im fucked lol…… she laughed and agreed.

    it was like hey lets discuss the progress here , but not to much emphasis on it as its to much .to soon after my 16 yr relation and my 11 yr.. relationship…… she said im not ready for a relationship as she was going down stairs, and then quickly folled it with not yet anyway… the vibe feels steady , we both seem to understand each other,the other thing I have noticed bliss is her reaction when i talk about my ambitons goals etc, she seems so comtivated… and passionate about my drive, that i see as her keeness to see me excel. for me bout also for her too.

    so as it stands she is coming over friday , were going out shopping site seeing etc, then a Japaness… so im taking it as a friendship with or without possibilties …. and taking it as no more , unless she says look I want us to be together offically as a couple I think Aries, like things to hang in the balance never knowing if they have u or not.

  42. Roxy68 says:

    feel free to knock some sense into me if you think Im way off course…… its funny becasue I have moments were I think Roxy do you really love her? or was it just a case of she was there for me when I needed someone, and now I just feel a need to love her, Cancers sometimes kid them selves into thinking there in love , almost forcing it, then we go all distant , when we realise we are , not , and that is when you will here on here lots of people saying Im confused my cancer was all close but as now gone all distant.

    if that happens its becasue we at a cross roads and not sure of were we want it to go, we are pretty much on the money when our instincts kick in , well mine are any how. so I hope that doesnt happen , but alos I will not ignore it if that little voice does come calling.

  43. Bliss says:

    QUOTE: “Aries women are very hard to please , they want freedom but also want fully committed lovers, with undivided attention. without too much obvious public display, they want the intensity of passion , control ,and power… plus constant excitement of something new each day , and all for just their love and loyalty, Lol….”

    HA, ha, that’s not too much to ask ;)

    “its funny becasue I have moments were I think Roxy do you really love her? or was it just a case of she was there for me when I needed someone, and now I just feel a need to love her, Cancers sometimes kid them selves into thinking there in love , almost forcing it, then we go all distant , when we realise we are , not , and that is when you will here on here lots of people saying Im confused my cancer was all close but as now gone all distant.”

    Priceless information. Thanks.

    My oldest brother is a Cancer with a Pisces moon. We get along so well. I always know how to bring him out of his shell and get him to talk about anything. Plus, he has the best sense of humor of anyone I know. I also had a Cancer roommate and the same was true. There is a great connection I think between all cardinal signs.

    Roxy, darlin, I think you worked it out now and the issue was needing a sense of security. As long as she reassures you, you’ll be fine. You both seem to be on the same page since you’re coming out of long term relationships and establishing yourselves as individuals. You could really help each other in the process. She respects you and cares deeply, no doubt. Know it, feel it and let it support you in all you do. I wouldn’t worry about what happens in the end because really, what determines a great relationship? Isn’t it the journey and how it positively affects you?

    Have you done a compatibility report? I’d love to know your natal charts. The aspects between you can tell a lot about what is really going on. I’m sending you a friend request so we can do this in private message so we don’t keep hijacking this thread.

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