A Scorpio can be cruel to those he loves, so how do you know when he doesn’t love you?
Scorpios can be secretive and manipulative, but they can also be intensely intimate and devoted. Why would they bother hurting someone they didn’t care about? If a Scorpio is seething in resentment, he is still attached to the target of his anger. You can still be emotionally connected to someone without loving them, but if a Scorpio is going to let you in, he’s likely to “love” you in some way; he trusts you enough, after all, to give you access to his inner sanctum. Perhaps Scorpio is confusing “love” with “trust,” but any Water sign feels loving in a safe relationship.
Scorpio is the sign of sexual and financial intimacy. If he trusts you enough with his money, you best not betray him, or he will burn you to the ground. The same with sex — sleep around, and you might as well hire an emotional bodyguard.
So if a Scorpio doesn’t love you, does that mean that he won’t bother destroying you? If you’re in a relationship with a Scorpio man and he has fallen out of love, he may not try to actively hurt you. He may just put up a wall. It hurts when he’s taken away your key, but be grateful that all you’re getting is shut out. It could be much, much worse.
Comment below: How have you known when a Scorpio was no longer (or never) in love with you?
About Jeffrey Kishner
Thank you so much Tora for taking the time to both read my story and give me your advice.
He actually answered my football text…we both stuck to that topic, nothing else…but at least he answered and kind of teased each other…actually, i do think he’s smart enough to read between the lines…but i was sort of referring to his statement that he thought the team that lost was going to win the superbowl….my indirect reference was to the fact that his reason before, was that “he “knew” me and understood me…i just did not understand him”…and based upon that, he realized that I was not the one for him….
I tried to explain to him that I fully believe that you can just “know” pretty soon….but I did not think that one overnighter was hardly going to be the telltale…especially when there are 2 scorpios like the two of us involved….each very good at revealing very little.
The physical chemistry has always been there….that we always talked about..and these past two months, we were focused on our intellectual and personal connection…which I thought was ok and by the time we actually were together…we still needed at least a weekend to spend time together…
Sometimes, I’m not exactly the most “evolved Scorpio” relationship wise…hence probably the divorce….other levels, absolutely…lol….and actually, he really is a neat..wonderful person….with the intensity of a Scorpio…and yet, a little arrogance because he is pretty mature, very intelligent and intuitive not to mention handsome…lol…BUT…I definitely think the control issue and attitude stems alot from me because I truly do not think he has encountered anyone like me….which on superficial levels made me question a few things…but we definitely are equals and eventhough our beginnings were pretty instantaneous and definitely fireworks….like I told him, EXACTLY what you said, how we handle things/process things….this can sometimes lead to the reverse, instead of fireworks you get a bomb effect…not funny though…
….and the stubborness makes it difficult to back down….from both of us….on stupid little things, I really wanted to…only I couldn’t….it was like I needed to prove to him that I didn’t need him…that I didn’t need anyone really…:( but I did explain/apologize for all that in the emails that he never answered.
Thank you for reaffirming the “great physical and nothing else” excuse….I mean, I know in my heart it’s not true…or at least I’d like to think so…I know I didn’t show him my “real” me in a relationship….more like my little napoleon…but I told him that in the email that he never answered….and you’re right….when he first left for his trip that morning I went to his place, he just seemed unhappy…not like he had decided…in fact that was why he said we would talk about it when he came back…my natural reaction was, “i don’t know if i will be here”…..and you’re right…when I said either way it goes, i”m good….i was protecting myself…because truly at that point, i knew i cared about him much more than I thought…and that if i had to walk away the least scathed it would have to be then…any more and I know myself, I would be completely into this relationship.
But even from the beginning, we both agreed, we both did not do light and we did not have time for anything that was not there for us emotionally, physically and mentally….eventhough we talked about this alot, based on our stops and starts, when I finally was there….I still had a tough time with my things…which I explained in the emails…only he was so set in his idea that he just “understood me and already knew me”….which at that point, before my self-reflective, explanatory emails he could not have known that, because I did give off the, “either way, I’m good”…he said I didin’t understand him….I actually think I understand him far more because he was much more open book about his feelings and past than I was….(he kept insisting that he made a promise to himself a long time ago…this had to do with the bad breakup)….he is maturer than me on many levels eventhough he is younger…but the big difference which you were so right about is the WAY we look at things….he is more pragmatic and maybe even realistic…i am much more optimistic and idealistic…so even if my much longer relationship/marriage also ended badly…i still know that that i can have an even better, more positive relationship ahead of me and i won’t hesitate to give it my all….once i am in it….the problem is getting me to that point….
but with him….it was the first time that i really tried….not super successfully…but tried more than i ever have and explained more than i ever have….sure i’ve had little mini relationships, extreme like…but i know that he and i can reach each other emotionally, mentally and not just physically. He has that intensity that I do….just quieter, but he does…I told him this in the email.
Thank you for the insight into how he “processes” things…..the first two emails that I sent him (while he was out of town and I decided to stay in town) he didn’t answer….he was processing his emotions as you said….i just pushed him then, because you’re soo right…I needed to know where he stood…something concrete…not a label…more just ok, are you in this or not? do you want to try or not?…then when i went off about not being me and that i only stayed in town just so we could at least spend another day together and he didn’t even come back before the holidays….i guess i didn’t handle that too well….first blew up at him, even told him maybe he deserved the kinds of girls he is normally used to…i don’t make the effort for anyone…lol….etc….then i switched gears and said that I really wanted to try with us…then he came back with the “great physical chemistry nowhere else….and the whole nine yards”….
Sorry….so long winded…you are absolutely right….i told him all this other stuff…but still never have told him, that i miss him, that it is him i want to be with, that it is him that i want to kiss, that it is him that I want in my life….i’ve realized that i missed him over these past 3 weeks…only it was also making me second guess whether the superficial things maybe were important…but not really, but more importantly, i guess i felt that because he was the one who said it went nowhere else for him, that I could not possibly ask him to try again….eventhough he did that to me…but before it was different….we really were just more on the physical chemistry, fate, who are we to each other thing….this time had so much more behind it…so I didn’t want to tell him I missed him…then there was the minor question of my life abroad….what if because i ran away from things there too…maybe that was better for me….but the bottom line is that I never made choices to MAKE an effort with the other guys….he’s really been the only one…i’ve made not even 1/10th of an effort for anyone else….:(
so today when he did answer my football texts and my indirect way of telling him that what he THOUGHT/whom he THOUGHT was going to win the superbowl was knocked out by my hometown team….in typical
Scorp way of read between the lines I am saying something else too…but I kept it all light and sporty and very football….and even there we misunderstand each other a bit, i made a comment about winners always coming back when they’re down….he said, they were not winners because they kept coming back, that means they’re resilient and were lucky and that the other team beat themselves….i said, I was referring to the other team (since they were in fact champions) and THEY kept coming back….eventhough they still lost…but the my team was younger and hungry and you have to favor the underdogs…. no answer after that….then i proceeded to send him a short text with a pic of my fabulous new year’s eve…no answer, then an literary post because it was a topic i knew he would be interested in….no more answers….
i wanted him to be able to admit that he is capable of making mistakes and being wrong…i told him before and in my email that I do not have a problem admitting i am wrong if am wrong…that i’m rarely wrong…but if i am…i can admit it….though i did tell him that i was sad that i was wrong this time about my gut feeling\….i’m rarely wrong…but basically, i was just trying to be the tough guy and say, “no biggie…i was wrong about us…you’re right”….eventhough it did hurt me…maybe we won’t be able to go the distance together….but i really did think we needed more than one overnighter to decide from that…:(
sigh….sorry for going on and on…..it’s almost that even the one person closest to me, who knows me more than anyone….cannot understand how I am in relationships…and I really truly believe a large part of it is the Scorpio way….our intensity, hidden or not is really really difficult to understand….but thank you….
I still don’t know if I have the courage to tell him that i miss him…..so many times like tonight…I almost did….and then it passed…oh…then I had to send just one more message. instead tonight saying…sorry, it’s just my nature but “the other team didn’t just beat themselves, there was the x TD, x technical brilliance etc….all these football statistics….and that the game was simply insane….”…..it’s like I had to rub it in that I was right…. ::(…..and that he was wrong….:(
so if you have any other tips for handling someone with all of his characteristics…please pass them along….as I do need all the help I can get!
thank you for your kindness and warm wishes….:)
one more footnote….so though he did respond to the football text…i do think i got my point about him being wrong about this choice winning the superbowl, which was an indirect way of reminding him that he can sometimes be “wrong” about things…. no response to when I corrected him that he misunderstood which team i was talking about that kept coming back and coming back (his answer was not that they were winners but just resilient and the other team beat themselves….i was talking about the other team).
then no response to my happy, cool new year’s eve pic (which was like, ahhaah…what a great view, evening…an artist that he liked)…which was not of me, but the cool show/party that i was at, no answer to the literary article that i know he would be interested in reading…then, after writing all of the of the above….no answer to of course my having to have the last word about saying that the other team did not beat themselves, but rather reminding him of the great game’s breakdown….
then i sent a one liner, totally off key and just wrote…”forgot to ask you something”.
now that…was a totally on a whole different tangent not to mention 3am in the morning (but I’m a late bird)…..no answer yet today……i know he’s super busy….but couldn’t he have written back a “what did you forget?” or something…or did he think i was getting back into the way things were and too much communication now and he just wanted to keep a distance? i really almost just sent him a simple text. i miss you…..i’ve almost sent it so many times but never have.
then i think that maybe the universe has something else planned for me…as in i meet so many people and case in point, today, i had emails and little “thumbs up” from guy friends and some acquaintances, whom on paper and in theory would be better suited for me….but I don’t “feel” anything like I do with him….actually, even a kind of ex whom i actually was physiclally attracted to be he is hands down absolutely ridiculous gorgeous…he actually for the first time since we stopped seeing each other thumbed up a picture of mine….that made me smile…Alot.
..but the only thing i wanted was to hear from my Scorp and that he liked the picture and that I could see him again and not just talk to him about football….but kiss him and just be next to him. Then I read an email from a guy I don’t know too too well, but have stayed on more superficial contact with over the years because of common friends, circles, goals, etc….and he is a person no sane woman would turn down….that intrigued me, but again, I just wished that I had heard back from my stubborn Scorpio.
I realized that even when I was with him last month, I never “realeased” if you will, my real energy, passion for him that I had…I was more reserved, self-contained, guarded….than the previous two times I was with him….because I went into my other mode….actually…that was the one thing he did mention before, that things were different….except he could not pinpoint it….i acted as though I didn’t know what he was talking about….I was still caring, but keeping that vulnerable me away and hidden.
I guess I’m scared that if I come out right and tell him that I miss him and that it’s him I want to be with and even if I’m great right now at putting everything on the friend level, which I can, it’s not what I want….because of what he said before… and his non responses to my self reflective emails…maybe he really doesn’t feel anything more?
or is it just his way, with a large responsibility due to his planets and all these other contributing factors…not to mention my brilliant, classic scorpio way of keeping things hidden? 
I don’t think i should change my core self or way…but opening up is not a bad thing….the only thing is maybe i’m reading everything wrong with him?? your advice?
update…so i tried again (since he was always saying i was so so selfish and it was all about me, i live in my own little world etc….this time i invited him to come to a really cool trip/ major event with a bunch of friends…he answered…”normally i would be totally there and say hell ya…but i have a friend coming from out of town this weekend that i promised to show around and i’m totally sick and on antibiotics…so i’m not fun at all or feeling well at all. sorry will have to pass. next year?
so i answer with a sarcastic….sorry you’re sick. but that’s what you get from kissing all those little nasty hoes…hahahah….and you are going to show someone around and cannot hang out with me?!
…..i wrote in a funny joking way….
(if there is one thing that i know about him…eventhough he is a very handsome and hot scorp with lots of girls running around, he’s actually not a hookup quick kind of person….eventhough, we….ummmmm, had a very out of our hands start…i’ve known him 2 years now….and we both understand that.)…but if in these past 3 weeks he has hooked up with someone and got sic k as a result…good for him…hahaha..
then about 15 min later said , “jokes aside…hope you feel better…ironically, i’ve been totally sick too (i’ve actually been in bed for the past few days…hence my online fanaticism at the moment)…..totally sick too….i mentioned that, told him that of course he can come next year…it will prob be even better since other friends will also come and i think he’ll really like them….
he didn’t answer these texts…though I suspect because he only saw the first one and couldn’t quite place my mood with it…lol….
so many an hour later, i sent him a cutesy get well e-card, with big hugs and a little tiny kiss… and though it was midnight…he opened within 10 min of sending it….he promptly replied with a thank you and smiley face….”it has been a tough long week but said he was feeling much better that night vs. earlier that morning…must be the antibiotics….”
i then replied and asked him if he got my other texts earlier…the nicer ones…told him glad he was better, that little by little and tomorrow would be a new day….send him big hugs.
no answer to that…maybe he went to sleep, but…..at least he was more the old him, i knew…or rather could “feel”….and his reference to coming to this festival next year….i was keeping everything light, friendly but there…..you mentioned his “moodiness” or rather uncomprehensible/elusive….that is totally him….before…sometimes he would be so in my face (though he has a really hectic work schedule and i sometimes do too), sometimes more “suggestive” because of our pretty insane physical chemistry and sometimes just mellow, daily stuff….then sometimes, he would just disappear for a couple of days…but i do understand his crazy work schedule….but definitely he is much more “moody” that I am….i’m actually quite neutral….i do get pissed off easily (he actually doesn’t really get angry), but then i get over it quickly….so do our planets Him sun, moon, venus, mercury in Scorpio, mars in Capricorn…and me sun, venus, mercury in Scorpio, moon in capricorn, mars in aquarius…
i feel like we are at least being much “comfortable” with each other….he still has not referred nor answered my self-reflective emails….but at least he’s receptive….though before HE was the chaser…now, i am the one initiating contact….i really do miss him…alot….but sometimes, like my reminders today, of how “big” you could say my life is and the people i know and meet….i wonder if they are better choices for me….because on paper they are….don’t get me wrong…my Scorp is pretty amazing and brilliant….his world is just not as big as mine is…BUT…..i really do have this bonding/connection with him….i do this in my relationships…only i don’t do the whole bare my soul thing (though it did it indirectly with him via the self-reflective emails)….i only know that it’s him i want to have next to me….:( but i also realized because i have lots of guy friends….having him in my life, because i do care about him is important to me….now if it were to stay as just friends…and he say had another girl….i don’t know how i would take that….i guess just see how we move on with this…but somehow, I seem to also “mess” things up because of my “wall” and vulnerability issues….i’m trying…but if you have any other suggestions about how to handle/deal with someone like him better it would be super helpful!!! thank you soo much!
ok….last last update to this….so yesterday, maybe because he was feeling really really sick….he was his usual chipper self with me again…but today, when i sent a msg just checking in to see how he was doing..hope you’re feeling well….drink lots of teas…etc…no answer….so i thought, ok, busy busy work sched…catching up with everything after a tough week…etc….i then actually left a voicemail to just see how he was, short, casual, hope you’re well….no reply to email or voicemail…..so I’m thinking….he’s not ok again with us being in contact…eventhough yesterday, i think even on the friends level and looking forward to this festival next year…with a group of my friends….maybe he was under meds yesterday and today is like, “woah….no, too close again”…..or is he thinking…”wait, she might misunderstand and think i want to get start seeing her again, so i need to not mislead her and she should get the picture or is he confused…”…..i’m lost again now…..i thought we were at least ok yesterday with even just being comfortable with each other again…i’ve totally been sick too….he didn’t tell me to get well soon…but that doesn’t matter, because i wasn’t paying attention to him because I wanted the same. I was just happy that we could talk again, like normal people……maybe i don’t understand his “wiring” or “processing”….is this consistent with what to expect??…
Hi all-
In need of some scorpio advice. I’m a cancer woman and he’s scorpio male. To make a long story short, my ex scorpio and I have not been together for a year now; however he was vindictive after our break up and got himself a new lady and still continued to be rediculously mean to me. He esentially caused the tornado that demolished our relationship. Lived together for a year as well. I moved out temporarily, or so I thought. We loved eachother to the moon and back; had that passionate and emotional connection. We were inseperable even living together; it’s almost sickening when I look back on it. Anyway, the last time we spoke was about 7 months ago around my birthday. He blocked me on facebook and it upset me, and I contacted him asking why we just couldn’t be civil since we had a history together. and the convo did not end nicely. He made it clear by screaming at me on the phone that he wanted nothing to do with me because i was his “ex” and we could not even be civil and it’s “out of respect for his girlfriend” as well as he “doesn’t care whats going on in my life or anything that has to do with me” . Keep in mind even after our break up it dragged out for almost 8 months and that one incident was nothing. We haven’t spoken since then. I’ve been silent and did not contact him at all. About a month ago after all these months I noticed he unblocked me on fbook. Then to make it worse; At my work the other night (which he knows where I work) he showed up randomly with his friend. I was bartending, and then saw him. He was almost hiding behind his friend apprehensive to approach me. Everytime I looked in his direction he was staring right into my eyes. This continued for the next hour or so. Staring hard into my eyes. I broke the ice by making his friend and him a drink and made it strong. A little later after I guess he had “liquid courage” he asked me for a drink and was trying to joke around with me. I felt so uncomfortable because there was so much unresolved issues between us. I laughed it off and made him his new drink; And he starts asking me how my family is; going down the list of my relatives. I was giving one word answers because I’m still confused as to why he was at my job. (He never goes there) I decided to be nice and ask how his girlfriend was; and he laughed and said “be nice; she’s good.” I replied; haha I don’t give a sh*t I’m seeing someone else.” Then he says “Ok, then why are you over here talking to me?” And I said right back; “Um, what the hell are you doing at my job?” ( he was practically up my butt the whole night; you would of thought we were best friends. But I was sweet and sour with him. FInally I just got so agitated that he was there acting like everything was fine and I went to the bathroom. Ironically he was walking into the mens bathroom. He stops me, and says “Come on, I want to be civil; I want to be friends”. I got angry and said “Why are you here? And thats not going to happen because the guy I’m dating wouldn’t appreciate that.” We went back and forth saying things like “go be with your girl” and him saying “go be with your man” etc. For a minute I thought it was about to blow up..but then He tried to keep it cool infront of me when I told him my new man wouldn’t appreciate us being civil but he got so mad he told his friend he wanted to leave; but then his friend convinced him to stay and just relax. Then I felt bad and didn’t want to leave it off like that, so I told him to meet me outside to smoke a ciggarette out back. We walked outside and he lights my ciggarette for me and started talking. I told him that I appreciated him attempting to be civil or friends or whatever, but it’s not going to happen and I didn’t know what to think of it. He goes on about how happy he is now in his relationship and how he never thought he would of met her after me and how shes a sweet girl. (April 2011 by the way when we talked on the phone he told me he had a hard time accepting that his new lady wasn’t me for a while”.) Then he says “You and I were together did our thing and we’re not 2gether anymore so it is what it is.” I just said ok, and told him I just wanted him to be happy and I hoped he wished the same for me. He said he did, and said “you’ll eventually find somebody, you’re a good girl”. I reminded him (it was like he was in denial) that I was seeing someone that treats me really well. He then says “Better than I treated you? That must be pretty damn good”. I said “Yep, better than you”. He just laughed and said “Ok, go be with your man”. He then wanted to go back inside to meet back up with his friend; more like a quick exit. I told him to wait, and said whats the real reason you’re here. He said he was just “out” which was bs. Then he goes on about how apparently his girlfriend’s “ex” is still around her family and he said it’s “akward”. So i said, so thats what this is about; you’re here out of spite? He replied “no not at all.” I felt like he was just trying to justify why he was at my job. Anyway, if he wanted to spite her I would be the wrong person to do it because she hates my guts and wants him nowhere near me and would not be happy if it got back to her that he was sitting at the bar I worked at acting like we’re best friends. Then somehow we started making our old “inside jokes” when we were together and made eachother laugh a little bit. He told me to “come here” and called me his pet name for me when we were together and hugged me. Not just a “hi how are you doing hug, more like a let me hold you hug. I felt weird because I knew he was drunk and I was still in disbelief and couldn’t figure out his real intentions, so it was more him hugging me. I kept my head into his chest as he squeezed me glanced up real quick and it felt like we were about to kiss or something but we both quickly pulled away. We went back inside. Later he was out on the dance floor dancing with girls and occassionally peeped over at the bar I swear to try to see if I was seeing it. It was like he wanted me to see it. His friend and him ended up leaving quickly because there was some arguement outside and the cops came. We were closing down the bar and the DJ asked me if I was ok, because I seemed like I had a lot on my mind that night. I told him I was just stressed because my ex did a surprise appearance on me. He then says, “I know who you’re talking about, he was the dude outside earlier smoking a cig asking me if I knew the bartender with a flower in her hair and talkin about u.” (the girl with the flower in her hair was me. I don’t understand what all of this means; Now he wants to be “civil”? I feel like if he was truly happy with his girlfriend why would he be seeking me out like this. I don’t understand. What do I do??! Please help!
Please help! I have people telling me it means nothing it’s just an ego boost, idk what to think
@Kristin,
What I get from your posts is that you are way more into him than he is into you. He’s politely responding but letting you know he isn’t that interested and I’ll tell you why. Ok, my guess at least
You challenge him to the point of making him emotionally uncomfortable. A Scorpio male with moon & so many other planets really likes to be the teacher in a relationship. He needs to feel safe to share and that is someone who is open to his ideas, thoughts or just a look. When you challenge him, you are not just being a sexy, sassy woman that on some level he enjoys, you’re also showing him that you will question his deepest, darkest beliefs that he immediately clams up and isn’t willing to share for fear of being scrutinized by a fellow scrutinizer. Scorp/scorp relationships don’t seem to work so well, at least the ones I’ve seen. Scorp females seem to be more interested and gung-ho but the men get uncomfortable for this very reason.
I have a lot of Pisces in my chart. The male Scorpio’s I’ve known have always felt comfortable with me in sharing their thoughts probably because I give off a non-judgmental vibe. It’s like something they see and they love it even more if you need their help. Yet, at the same time, they like strong women too but not ones that will criticize their ideas about things since what they believe has taken much time and research.
And when you said something about him liking his hoes, AWWWWWW killer! I know you said that somewhat out of spite because you weren’t getting the reaction you wanted but to him it said what you thought of him. Of course that was a very low opinion and extremely insulting. That kind of thing really grates on a male scorpio because surprisingly enough, they can be quite picky and moralistic (like my dad who is a Scorp sun/moon). He prides himself on the quality of people he surrounds himself with and hates anything that would be debasing.
There just seems to be something that happens when you’re with him that changes you into someone who acts more masculine and competitive to the point where you aren’t able to show your true love nature. That is exactly the problem. He doesn’t want to fight about who he is with a woman. He wants stimulation but not someone who threatens his sense of peace. He needs that to be loving. He can’t be that with you. I know you really care about him but think about the fact you don’t seem to be acting out your true loving nature while with him and is that what YOU want?
@Kim,
What we have here is an emotional vampire. He comes back to feed on your emotions. That can be for several reasons. Maybe he’s hitting a boring patch in his relationship and starts to think what he had with you (because guys tend to feel the hurt way later than girls do). So maybe he just wants to know if you still have feelings for him that feeds his ego and a sense that he can get you back possibly because Scorpios do love drama. They say they don’t but they do when their lives are boring or too peaceful. I’m sure his girlfriend is having a fit too.
I don’t know how you could have been so nice to someone who treated you so badly. If he encountered me it would have been like walking in a freezer, lol! I was accused of that when an ex come over to pick up some of his things after a break up. I was cordial and spoke minimally.
What do you do? Absolutely nothing. And if/when you see him again, be cordial. Do not follow him anywhere to talk if he comes to your work again. Just be professional and do your job. Even if you want him back, do the same. Your heart is not to be trifled with and if you are with someone else, love him or leave if you can’t get this guy out of your mind. But if you love the guy you’re with now, keep that in mind and keep this emotional vampire out of your life. Because if he gets back and things are sweet, he’ll find another excuse to rock the boat and leave. That’s what they do to see how much you’re willing to put with to test you and to get their rocks off. No woman should have to put up with a guy who mistreats them like the bad boy type. Appreciate the good guys and you’ll have a happy life.
@Kristin
He’s clearly made up his mind about you. For whatever reason (I think you already know because you’ve mentioned it plenty of times) he doesn’t feel that you’re a good fit. It’s actually a testament to his kindness and patience that’s he’s still responding to you civily. But soon enough he will stop answering. Just let it go; chalk it up to another experience and move on to the next one.
Hello scorp world…in need of advice…update…agreed to see me, has been flirting back over the past few weeks…made a comment about, i can’t always take you (on certain trips we talked about)…have to have boys trips too…my answer…when did i ever say i would always go? you really think that’s what i want? changed the mood quickly. i suggested lunch, to keep things light, he said drinks so we can have a few hours to catch up (btw, i saw that the place he originally suggested was very private, described as romantic…but it was closed when we got there!) but still went to a nice place…anyway….well….i pulled me stupid, “we’re totally friends’ charade with him. he would mention things about our past, like the first time we met, the first time we got together… etc…i would answer with, “oh my god, i’m so embarrassed, why are you talking about those things”….i didn’t want to go there. even though this entire time since i have not seen him, i have only missed him…but my pride would not let me show otherwise. we talked about my business project…he said, i know how you don’t like to need anyone (which is 100% true) i said, “yes, but I’m trying to work on that and be ok with that”. anyway….didn’t flirt, nothing..but made sure i looked good hahaahha….anyway…as we’re about to leave he says all of a sudden, “not a +1 to anyone, but she can work if she wants or she can not work if she wants”….i was lost, because it was like “where the hell did that come from ?” i said, who is “she”…he said, the person that I will be with….woah…that was totally left field. then in the car he starts talking about lying…(another seemingly left field…but obviously with a base to it)…i said, not disclosing information( since i have a very difficult time talking about or showing my true feelings) is not lying. not saying something is not lying..he said, but by not saying something a person is lying….i said, no, lying is if you purposely tell someone something and you know it is not the truth. the whole time, i’m looking out the window because i can’t look at him…i then change the subject, then back again and directly ask him, “so you think i lie?”…he said, ‘i’m just talking about people in general”…..wth??? we both know he is talking about me and my inability to disclose myself true self….we part, i tell him, let’s hang out again, you know how to find me, he just looked at me with this strange look on his face.
Then, 30 min later, i send him a text, thank him for meeting me, happy to see him, glad things are going well (he’s starting his own new company with friends) etc….no answer…then, i said since he’s talking to one of his ex’s , maybe this time it will work out, you know that all i want for you is to be happy…. he answered, with, “i don’t do exes”. then, because i was slightly buzzed from the drink (not drunk…only had 1 drink)…i wrote another msg…partially funny referring to how i was a lightweight and needed a nap before dinner, then wrote…do you want to hear the truth?i miss you. no answer.
so 2 days later, because of my back and forth, friend, non admittance of feelings etc…friend, swing…i try to stick to one thing, i said, great to see you and catch up, have a great trip, would love to see you next week when you’re back. he answers quickly, great to catch up with you too, gave me his schedule for the next 2 1/2 weeks…he’s travelling both business and fun…i then send reference msg to his comments the night before about when we first met (remember i didn’t want to talk about it and said i was embarrassed about the whole thing)..so i said, and about “x trip”….everytime you re-tell that story (which he loves to do and the other night i totally shot him down) it reminds me how much fun we had. if i had to do it again, i would do the exact same thing. it was awesome (i’m trying to be supportive and positive versus the other night when i was basically saying it was a mistake)….. then, i make a reference to his 2 trip in the upcoming weeks, i said…oh…and “destination x”…do try to have fun without me (since we actually ran into each other in this place and that ignited things kind of again) think you can top your last visit/trip there? (referring of course to us both being there last time)….
so this is totally opposite from the other night where i didn’t want to go down memory lane, dismissed it and just stuck to the friend plan….
then i say…ok…well then have double good trips, get some good work done and enjoy your trip with the boys….
no answers to these messages now…then, i say, if you don’t have any dinner plans tonight we can go to dinner or just stay in and i can cook something and we can watch the games (we both really love sports…he answers back with, sorry k, i don’t think so.
that’s it….
so what do you think he’s thinking?/// i know my actions/ words over the past few weeks have been very confusing…me and my stupid pride.
he was trying to connect and reach out again the other night and my stubborn pride got the best of me…and his comments about one day having a +1 that can do whatever she wants and the lying stuff??
should i just go over to his place tonight and say i need to talk to you a few minutes…and then be totally honest with him? or wait til he’s back…but that’s not for 2 1/2 weeks….i’d like to just have it out once and for all…
he’s Scorpio Sun, Moon, Venus, Mercury….all in Scorpio (and he told me I am the intenser Scorpio of the two of us!!!)
I am Scorpio Sun, Venus, Mercury, but Moon in Capricorn
ADVICE PLEASEEEE>>>>>>
:*(
post script…two days later…looks i burned it to the ground….i decided i wanted to “talk”…no go…then i pushed it….(apparently proof to him and reinforcement that I am too stubborn and set in my ways for us to be compatible)….which actually…i really was trying to compromise….only did not go down well….even to the point of arguing on what form of communication we should use….went tooo south…..he said goodbye 3 times….i stopped trying to tell him that i did indeed really want to be with him and only him…..he doesn’t want that….he said goodbye again…and i answered with a goodbye too….so sad…
i really thought he was the one that i would go to the nines for…apparently too late and my personality, according to him was just not compatible….i would have compromised more if we were really together….but….i suppose it had to happen this way….could have been the most amazing one…the one for the books….ever….instead….gone…well….life goes on….i am sad…but at least i tried to reach out…..proof that scorpio females when with a scorpio male…can and will try….but maybe just a little too late….
he won’t even be my friend….
the good thing…at least is my life is filled with so many other possibilities…only i was really ready to give up all of that because i realized that he really really mattered to me..nothing and no one else…..apparently he doesn’t think so…..life is funny……well, not really…:( this is the only first time that i really reached out to someone….and it didn’t work…..
i guess things happen the way they need to happen….but i really didn’t mean for it to blow out of proportion and be so dramatic…we weren’t even going out…he kept saying this is why we would never be compatible – that i was too stubborn and set in my ways…not listening…but i was listening…i just wanted him to hear my rationale too…..i did compormise…but it was too late….do you think he’ll come back??? or has it just been one too many times….for some reason, we someone have found each other of come back to each other a few times over the past 2 years (even if we never really went out as a couple)….only this time….it was not a good parting…..more like he, who is usually so organized, calm, neutral even …..was writing pissed off, non punctuated, some typos in his texts…besides saying good bye a few times…actually…he said goodbye one night, but was willing to hear be out the next day…then it went way southhhhh…….and the “see this is a why>..”….etc etc…after something like this, would someone with his personality change his mind ???he’s going on a boys trip to somewhere that we had a nice memory of….so altho he will be super sour with me still….maybe this positive memory will help? part of me thinks its for the best since if it blew up like this now….imagine how we would deal with things….if we were really a couple….definitely the chemistry good and bad between us is extremely extremely charged….that can be awesome….and then awful when it goes wrong and the slightest thing can become a question of control, stubbornness….with each one thinking that of the other person….
would he ever reach out again?…not even a a friend (which i offered…no response of course)….guess for the best…..probably the only way i could let this be….
Hi Diana,
Seems you been here a month…sorry for that. Just busy.
Wanna Ask you, Is he your lover? and what is your problem with him?
Kristin,
Seems you been here a month…sorry for that. Just busy.
Wanna Ask you, Is he your lover? and what is your problem with him?
sorry I mentioned Diana. I was reading…hahaha
Marie, yes, he was….though we didn’t really spend much time together since we lived in different cities, yet kept trying to come back to each other. Problem? ok…so i had “issues” with committments and vulnerability etc…., it went down bad….the fact that he cannot seem to even be civil to me, especially since we now live in the same city (just told him that I didn’t leave afterall)….Fine…he had enough, he doesn’t believe me, or maybe even the intensity and depth of how i am (since we are both scorpios) how we are together scares him or he doesn’t want to go there again. Fine…I can accept that he doesn’t want an “us”. Frankly, I’ve gone between the hurt and thinking he’ll come back like he always has (though we never reached a point like this before) to the belief that he really just isn’t the person for me and that maybe he is NOT the person that I thought he was….he always said we were equals…somehow then, if we’re not together, maybe we really never were…and because maybe I thought he was someone else, maybe he isn’t that person of substance and deep intensity like I believed he was….I don’t know anymore….all i know is that the past few months although I have missed him quite a bit actually, i love my life and it doesn’t include him….sorry…the problem? i hate when people are unhappy…especially with me and especially if i cared about someone….i understand we will not be friends…there’s too much chemistry there and now…i don’t what….but definitely not positive. i have tried to reach out to him, apologizing, even just to be at the point where if we saw each other on by chance, that it would not be awkward…that things would be “cool”…i asked him if we could have coffee…just to air things, not to re-hash things…no answer….then, i thought be being light and positive, that maybe after these months have passed, we could at least talk to each other once in a while…this time i got an answer….he asked me to stop contacting him. i
guess it’s not a problem anymore because i feel like i’ve been trying to been on the good side of all of this and if he can be so mean to me like that, he is not worth my time. i sometimes worry about him…i do believe there is that little boy in there who is so afraid to trust (just as much as i was)…and because of my past, and his question to me of “are you ever going to settle down??” i wanted to prove to him that i would just disappear and i would be here, whether together or even just as a person that even if we weren’t friends or stayed in touch, i would be there….he wants absolutely nothing to do with me….and you know what….at this point, if he believes that all the other girls that he surrounds himself with are better for him or what he needs…then my life is just fine….i don’t need that bs….so at the end of the day…contrary to his belief, i did grow up after all….it just bummed me that someone that i thought i really would want to have in my life, wants nothing to do with me now, what i did to deserve that, i have no idea……but at the end of the day…it’s his loss….
what bothers me too about all this….is that it’s almost like we had all the break-up drama without even having had the chance to actually have a real relationship…meaning having more of the the just day to day good times, we were so focused on “is this the One”…we didn’t get to enjoy just the now…and then it blew up like that….i don’t know…typically, i don’t “waste”or spend my time…especially emotional and physical self with guys….i think what stumps me most is wondering if the person that i believed him to be, this person of depth, understanding, maturity and intuition…someone whom although he didn’t really know about my life (nor me his i guess, but i think his life is easier to understand) in the big picture….that we “got”each other on then most basic, personal, intimate leve….the one you don’t share with people and the one you keep from people….i’m begining to think i just “imagined” that he was that person…because if he was, then he would not be so cold and mean like he is now….especially since we didn’t have a real, full fledged relationship, i never “cheated” on him, in fact, i could and didn’t even want to kiss anyone….so maybe i didn’t give him more credit or underestimated him for superficial things, and i couldn’t deal with my emotions at first , I did step up and grow up…only he could care less…and this No contact bs…that happens when you’ve had a relationship (maybe) or if you had a one-night stand….we had neither….anyway….i have to stop spending my energy and brain space on this…my life has far too many things going on and i need to get past all this….especially when he can’t even be decnt or civil to me on the most basic level!….life moves on…
Kristin,
I am scorpio too. wayback 2008. My ex fiance scorpio act the same as yours.
Whatever the reason is…Drag him off. As long as you kept chasing the air trying
to get the answers you needed you will just to fail to hear it from him.That means
He needs space…It hurts but before he can run into miles away…try to make the first move.
You have to behave in your mysterious way…it works… and hey…I know you try to work it out.
Just don’t force the issue. Move on first. enjoy and be happy. stop contacting him…that is
order from him..then Do! it piss him off.
thank you marie…..well…i actually did contact him one more time…lol…only this time i basically told him to f off…..and if he needs to have the cheesy girls that he seems to have had in his past and present….then i certainly do not need to stay in contact with him…..i mean really….whatever it is…ego, run away, just not there…whatever….if he is being so immature to be decent to me on the most basic level of courtesy…then he really doesn’t deserve to be in my life. whatever his issues are (his childhood, famility, abandonment issues…who knows….)…and my own issues too…committment fears, vulnerability…if the two of us cannot even pull that together on any level….and he actually thinks these other people- whether as his friends or lovers can be in his life…and he can’t even be decent to me….i do not need that type of absolute disrespect or bs….i feel i’ve done everything i can on any level….with the exception of just going over to see him in person and physically kissing him…i tried to be understanding..i tried to not disappear, i tried to be a friend..i even just tried to be an “acquaintance” that if we saw each other things would just be “cool” and chill….but he can’t even do that and makes it seem like i’m stalking him because i’ve written him a few texts and emails over the past 2 months??…whatever…i’ve reached that point and to say something to mean to someone…like the F you word…i’ve only ever exploded like that to my ex-husband…..who won’t talk to me either lol….anyway…at this point….it’s sad that we are like this…but i reallyi don’t care…..if he thinks he didn’t need my “drama” and stubborness etc in his life…i certainly don’t need someone who behaves like this in mine!
so i’m glad…drunk or sober that i told him the f word…ahhaha… 
oh…and he can certainly “dish it out” and be the cold upset one…but he cannot take it when it comes right back to him….i know that message must have hurt him….but really…after i’ve tried on so many different levels to show him that i was honest in my feelings and sincerity whether together or not….i don’t need that….nor will i put up with that….he’ll probably be secretly happy that i did that…..but frankly..i’m tired and not going to go in circles…life is too short….and maybe next time…i’ll just be better about admitting my true feelngs….:)
…and i’ve been dating other guys…great guys…no one physical moves me….only he and my ex-husband have ever affected me “physically” that way, and truthfully, i live in the one of the biggest cities in the world and meet so many people all the time….yet no one has managed to even make me remotely interested……but you know what…i deserve to have the man in my life who is just at my side, that i have that amazing physically chemistry with, stands by me, adores me, loves me and is there for me….and if i don’t have that…i won’t settle…