How to get a Scorpio man to change his mind

Let’s face it, Scorpios are stubborn. Scorpio is a fixed sign, resistant to change. The strength of this “modality” is that Scorpios will stick with a project or relationship until the bitter end, until either it dies from natural causes or he kills it.

The difficulty with fixed signs is that they don’t let go easily. The “element” of the sign will tell you how they are intractable. Scorpio will hold on to his feelings for dear life, wringing every last drop out of the rag of resentment, the towel of tears, the cloth of … well, you get it.

Not that Scorpio won’t be rigid in his beliefs. In fact, he is likely to be somewhat conservative with his opinions. His thoughts about the world are heavily influenced by his family, and he feels threatened when a philosophy of life goes against what’s familiar.*

So here’s how you go about changing your Scorpio man’s mind: First, understand that Scorpio’s old belief system has to die — just because that’s the way he functions. There’s no middle-ground with him. Next … he needs to embrace a world-view in which caring and security are paramount. He believes in a nurturing Mother Goddess, or he’s a “family values” type of guy. So, if you present an alternative, it should “fit in” with this general paradigm. He’ll push back at first, then let the idea mull around in his unconscious. It’s best to step back, and be patient. If his mindshift happens, it will occur after a violent death of his belief system — but it will happen underground, so you may not notice. Afterwards, he will not mourn his old self — it will already have burned away.

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

*Cancer is in Scorpio’s solar ninth house.

Comment below: How have you changed a Scorpio man’s mind?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Wow. Seems to me a lot has to be done to change his perceptions. True enough that Scorpios are fixed signs therefore hard to convince them otherwise. I think I must take notes and check if I’m doing things right.

  2. please give me some advice on my scorpio bf he always changes his mind and seem not to be sure abt our relationship. What do i do? We met online 8 month ago and at first it ws a flirt than we fell in love. We met once . We are in long distance relationship. So now im planing to ask him to come study nearer to me but he has this double mind for one sec he wl say yes ok and the next sec he wl say no i think i should go to another country for studies.

  3. Hi Lizza,

    I hate to tell you that making a Scorpio to “CHANGE THEIR MIND” would be similar to
    making a mountain move unless you are in luck and there is an earthquaqe which even
    then is no guarantee.!!!

    The worst thing you can do to a scorpio is to opose them or tell them what to do which is
    a waste of time and only causes havoc in the relationship which leads to “COMMUNICATION
    BREAKDOWN”.!!!

    The best thing you can do is to tell him that you would preffer or be really happy with the idea
    of him attending the same school as yourself but at the end of the day it is :HIS CHOICE”. and
    it will not change the way you feel about him eventhough it would make things impractical and
    more difficault to be together as much as you would prefer since long distance relationships
    can be strenuous at best especially for younger people who need more togetherness time in
    order to enjoy themselves since they do not have the added responsibility of family and children.

    Let me know what you decide or what happens.???

    Cheers and keep smiling. Taurus.

  4. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    I have known a lot of Scorpios both men and women and I know that they are stubborn but when you explain a reason or a new idea to them they really listen and analyze things through. I’ve noticed a lot of times a sense of fairness and thoughtfullness when it comes to conversation. If they don’t agree they at least think about it first. I enjoy a lot of intelligent conversations with these folks. My neice is only 9 and wow, she already holds her own in a good deep talk. Their mind is set and they rarley change their minds but I have seen it, I’ve seen my Mom change her mind and explain why, even when I was very young she would always explain everything, it was great. As long as you are fair when you talk with them and listen to their side they are very down to earth people and display fairness. Its not unlike a scorpio to say, I know you have a good point but I still think this or that, and thats nice, I respect that in a perrson. My Aqua man is stubborn too, I love stubborn peiople, they will stick to a side when they know its right. Too many wishy washy people in the world that leave you high and dry.

  5. Hi, please advise. My Scorpio man just disappeared after a night of passion. at least that’s what I thought.
    Before he walked out of my door 6 weeks ago he said he loved me. after he complimented my cooking and my beauty on and on. We have been dating for 5 months now. We didn’t fight or anything like that the night was amazing. Best S.. ever. He just cut all contact his phone is off. I know he is ok coz my friend has seen him. I am not sure if I should go look for him or should I just let go. The problem is I cant forget him. If I move on what if he comes back and he will think I cheated on him. Also I cant put my life on hold for him, Please help I want this man and I love this man. He did say that he was scared but of what I still don’t know.

  6. Hi Angel,

    What a beautiful name which clearly defines your personality.!!!

    Unless this Scorpio was suddenly struck by “AMNESIA” it is a real “MYSTERY” as to why
    he disapeared out of the blue without an expanation and has obviously left you in a real
    quandary as to what his motives were and what has caused his unpredictable and sudden
    departure.???

    There could be a number of reasons but just to narrow them down it is either another Girl/Woman
    or he changed his mind about the relationship or commitment but is too much of a “COWARD” to
    inform you of his reasons which he owes you and is the decent and honourable thing to do but he
    has chosen not to. (typical Scorpio behaviour of crawling under a rock and going into hidding).
    instead of facing and confronting the issue or problem head on.

    No you cannot put your life on hold and no one expects you to but for the reasons which you mentioned
    you need to clarify the situation and set the record straight just so you are able to feel that you did the
    right thing for yourself and for him which he doen’t deserve but being the decent human being which you
    are you need a clear concience before you put his mess behind you, move forward and lay claim on
    a new relationship.

    There is only one choice my Girl and that is to “LOCATE HIM” and “CONFRONT HIM” otherwise you
    are left in the “DARK” and living with uncertainty as to what to do or where to go from here.???

    I realise you love and still want this Man but after the “STUNT” he has pulled do you really think and
    believe that he is worth your love, devotion and trust that he will not do it again.???

    Cheers and be “BRAVE” my thoughts are with you. Taurus.

  7. Angelica says:

    Me and my scorpio guy constantly had issues. He was never willing to communicate with me about particular issues and would never bring them up despite how major they were…Whenever I would ask do you just want to be done with this relationship, he’d simply say yes and retreat. He’d never come back for me and he would let days and weeks go by without even contacting me. He was also very wishy washy. One minute he was sure he wanted to be with me and loved me then the next moment he would take back everything he said and claim his declaration of love was simply a joke. It was not until we got back together recently that he started trying to by me small things here and there but then we got into a major fight and he is officially not talking to me. Through out the 5 years we’ve been together on and off he still continued to remain friends with an ex whom he stuck up for fiercely…

    My question is (Did he ever love me?)

  8. Angelica says:

    Me and my scorpio guy constantly had issues. He was never willing to communicate with me about particular issues and would never bring them up despite how major they were…Whenever I would ask do you just want to be done with this relationship, he’d simply say yes and retreat. He’d never come back for me and he would let days and weeks go by without even contacting me. He was also very wishy washy. One minute he was sure he wanted to be with me and loved me then the next moment he would take back everything he said and claim his declaration of love was simply a joke. It was not until we got back together recently that he started trying to by me small things here and there but then we got into a major fight and he is officially not talking to me. Through out the 5 years we’ve been together on and off he still continued to remain friends with an ex whom he stuck up for fiercely…

    My question is (Did he ever love me?) Im an Aquarius

  9. Hi Angelica

    What difference does it make whether or not he loved you it is past tense and
    irrelevant so move on put it behind you where it belongs and let sleeping dogs
    lie for it is not a good idea to keep disturbing them otherwise they will wake up
    start barking and maybe even bite you.

    Find someone whom will treat you with integrity, love and respect not someone
    whom does not know whether he is coming or going and gives you mixed signals
    which are only confusing you and make you question his love and devotion toward
    you which after “FIVE YEARS IT SHOULD BE ABUNDENTLY CLEAR”.!!!

    If he contacts you tell him you are no longer available and if he needs someone to
    play mind games with he should contact his EX because you are no longer in the
    mood or interested in his joke of a relationship which is completely unacceptable
    to your new relationship standards.

    Cheers be smart and always keep smiling. Taurus

  10. Guidingfate says:

    Angelica,

    That describes my last relationship with a Scorpio to a T. I too am an Aquarius. Scorpios shut down and when they do they don’t care who they shut out. They inflict the no contact punishment on everyone in their life. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you they just feel so deeply that they can’t even handle it. Aquarius and Scorpio is like oil and water. Move on you deserve to be Number 1. If he is defending his ex he probably still cares for her in some way and you will never trust him. Most Scorpio’s are secretive and Aquarius needs trust , friendship and honesty- Go find a Sagittarius and be happy! Unless he learns to communicate and stop shutting you out than it may become an unhealthy relationship. Life is short- Scorpios seethe. Aquarius is too optimistic to truly enjoy a relationship with the mostly pessimistic Scorpio personalities. That has been my experience and I am sure there are many exceptions to the rules. I got out when I was not happy- best thing I ever did!

  11. I’m another woman with a goofy scorpio lol…..I met him last July where we hit it off QUICK and INTENSELY. Met him on a Thursday and by Monday we were dating. Well…it fizzled rather quickly as well. We had a few fights and we eventually ceased contact. He got really angry with me for telling him my period was late………I understand that NO one agrees that I should’ve done that, but I have my reasons for doing so and it can not be undone. We started speaking again and he started withdrawing. I knew something was up but he kept insisting that he’s busy and tired…..come to find out he was dating a woman. I flipped out and said he was a liar and what have you.

    A few months later and agreed to be FWB….but had so many stipulations that it was honestly like we were dating again….no sex with other people, rotate who’s house, and if we find someone else let the other know. Well, he withdrew again after one sexual encounter and had the same excuses- he’s busy, he’s tired, etc. Now here is some background on him really quickly—- he has two jobs that requires staffing 24/7, so he’s typically working 48-56 hours a week including long and ODD hours. He has a child from a marriage that he adores and has as much as he can with scheduled custody. So he is legit busy…..I work in a similar field so I can confirm he is in fact, working, but what he does when he’s there is out of my hands.

    Ok, so after a series of failed relationships the last few months I’ve come to realize that I miss him, and I think I love him. I contacted him over the weekend and he said that he’s pretty miserable, preparing to move and that increases his stress load for financial reasons. He said he will never find a woman that can tolerate his schedule and he’s destined to die alone. I went to visit him and he was kind of grouchy, but he was tired, and gave me a beautiful hug upon leaving.

    Here’s what I need to know- how to handle this guy. I never had a major issue with his schedule and since I do similar work I was able to understand. He doesn’t feel anyone cares about him so I’m trying to be his friend, but keep it laid back. I’ve texted him once an evening asking If he’s ok today and if he needs me to bring him dinner. I don’t want to overwhelm him, so I don’t know how much is acceptable to text.

    thanks

  12. Scorpio men are fools! Im a scorp woman and met a scorp man when we were 16 both our brothers died and we bonded on that. We ran in2 each other doing a course when we were 19 and both had partners mine there with us his kept a secret, anyway my man left me and scorp found out and was quick to come get me, we slept together I went home, my partner came back and I had him, in the meantime mr scorp had told his gf n broke up with her for me! I chose to stay with my man for 11 years and had 2 beautiful babys with him all this time scorp popped over we stayed friends. Ill tryn make it short but in that 17 years theres been no one else for him so eventually he broke my barriers down and it seemed to b our time…….NO I know the connection we had and that he loves me but he just keeps going and coming and so on. Last time he put false charges on me let it go to court came to court and threatened me also stalked me like seriously I went out alot and had to change my numbers to get away over the 2 month period then after threatning to kill me he shows up 3 days later at the door absolutely beside himself proffessing love, so I let him back in only for him to continue to battle against it and go again. This time ive sent a goodbye message and thats it im dun. Trying to lift him out his depression and break bad habits has exhausted me totally. If he doesnt come back Itl b a blessing itl hurt so much but you no what staying hurts even more because scorps love to mindfuck people im a scorp I know this but I also know where to draw boundarys scorpio men dont if they think they have your heart theyl continously test that and itl b continous drama! I love mine but its time to move on its spiritually and mentally killing and what makes it harder is that he wasnt my 1st but 3rd love ill heal but he will dwell on this forever. He has no job no kids no ex love and lives with his mum he dad and brother both died and no family, I tried to give him everything and he threw it back at me? Really? Cool dude sorry but not bringing me down with you! Scorp men are manipulators, childish, selfish and so conflicted its a joke SO RUN A MILE b4 you r 2 attached free yaself the bullshit of a scorp man and his over the top pointless bullshit dramas πŸ™‚

  13. Cancergirl says:

    My scorpio man heard a rumor about me from a so called friend of his. When he told me he told me the next day the situation had accrued. I told him that the rumor wasn’t true. He replies well why did he say that about you anyway if it wasn’t true. So I asked do you still want to talk to me he says idk all the questions that I asked him he replied idk. So idk what he is thinking right now. As far as me I’m just falling back and hopefully he will want to talk about sooner or later!!! he has his sun and moon in scorpio as I know so I guess that they take a while to process things. When I talk to him he seems distant and not wanting to talk to me. I’m a cancer girl by the way. We’re supposed to be soul mates lol

  14. cancergirl,

    The answer lies…He doesn’t want to talk because scorpio has a trust issues.

    I am scorpio and have a sun and moon sign in my chart.

    If he will talk to you be grateful… but scorpio are fixed sign.

    we have a hard time processing others mistakes and we feel really hurt.

  15. Cancergirl says:

    Thanks Maria
    We have talked since and now he is saying I don’t sound convincing. He said that I was supposed to get ghetto and started cursing and stuff. But I feel as a lady I shouldn’t have to do it if it isn’t true. He also has a moon and sun in scorp. What should I do??? Do I have to let him be and just wait and see??

  16. Help!!!!!!!!
    My name is Mayra (taurus) and he of course scorpio. We met and he found me on fb we started msging texting how beautiful blah blah. We met and the connection was amazing. We have veeb going strong but these past few days hes been distant (which i found off) . I texted hem no reply i got fed up and told hem if he didnt wanna talk to say so. He replys what the fuck? He says im mad over him not texting me? I told hem hes just been off he hasnt even complimented me like he used to. He gets mad and tells me im upset for a stupid reason, i say not mad just wondrering . He proceeds yo ignoring me. few days later i tell hem i cant deal with this, he tells me im acting off. I tell hem to understand and he said he doesnt wanna talk. Its been days and no msgs :/ . I want to fix things i might have overreacted, but what do i do? Do i say sorry ignore him?? I want to fix things ASAP

  17. Hi,

    I’m a scorpio male and everyone’s comments were an eye opener for me. I’m very similar to most of the scorpio men that’s being described here.
    Because of the way I am, I am breaking up with my gf. I can’t put her through the misery of being with me. I was married once and I didnt really realize that most scorpios have similar issues until recently as I’ve been doing a lot of research. I on the other hand am fully aware of my disliked behaviors and will face my gf and tell her in person how sorry i am and let her go. I will try my damn hardest to never speak to her again. I really feel terrible about the way i treated my ex wife too. Scorpios do have some major issues, some worse than others.
    For all you women out there, you have to do whats right for you. Dont give into the BS that a scorpio can dish out.

    P.s. Cancers and Scorpios are not soul mates. Cancers are too needy for scorpios at least based on my experience.

  18. I was seeing a scorpio male he and I were together almost three months. But shortly after we started seeing each other he was telling me he just got a divorce not looking for a relationship wants to keep his options open. He was talking to several women at the same time come to find out. I continued seeing him I left his house on a Tuesday morning. I talked to him that day but then after that didn’t hear anything from him. When I called him he didn’t answer and I texted asked why he wasn’t talking to me. He said if he wanted to talk he would have called. Then later on he said he was with someone else wanted me to not contact him and that he had no feelings for me and that we had nothing in common. He hoped I find someone to care for me like they should.

  19. Leah (strongpisces) says:

    @scorp since you are a very intelligent scorpio with a good head on your shoulders…let me give you my scenario.

    After my Scorpio ex and I broke up a little over a year ago I promised that I would never associate myself with another Scorpio man again but saying that is easier than actually doing it.

    I met another Scorpio last year through my best female friend (a Pisces like me) because she knew him for a long time and thought that we would make a great match because he seemed like a nice guy for me and both of us were single. She wasn’t lying about that at all, because when I met him for the first time I felt the connection right away and there was no denying what we both felt. I wanted a serious relationship and he said he wasn’t ready for one yet, but he flirts, asks to come over to my place, kisses me, hugs me, plays with me, and watches movies with me. Does that sound like someone who doesn’t want to be close to anyone? I think he wants a woman to be close to him, because he is lonely, but he just doesn’t want to deal with the responsibility of a relationship due to his past hurts, but how much could this woman really take?

    We met in August of last year, saw each other a couple of times and I felt myself getting stronger feelings for him but he refused to admit to his because of his past and I didn’t admit to my feelings yet because I was truly unsure of how he really felt. He was in two prior relationships. First one was 8 years and the other was 9 years. He has one child from each relationship. I have one daughter myself from a previous relationship so we both had something in common. We were getting along ok but as time went by he kept withdrawing and coming back. My girlfriend told me of the issues he was having with his last ex and she was horrible to him and still is to this day.

    It appears that she is also using their son as a way to get to him when she can’t emotionally affect him. I mean the situation is an entire mess. I am trying to be patient and understanding of his situation because I love and care about him a lot, but at some point he has to get a grip of his life and his situations. I am 29 and he is about to be 39. He said that he has moved on from her but if you’ve moved on from someone then they don’t still affect you like that! Or maybe I am an illogical person I don’t know. I have tried talking to him but he just shuts down in typical Scorpio fashion.

    It has been almost a year since I have known him and recently I’ve told him that I am going to give him some space because it’s clear that he needs it to sort himself out. I am going to leave him alone and whether he comes around or not is up to him at this point. If by now he doesn’t realize how much I truly care about him then I don’t think he ever will and I can’t sit around and wait until he figures himself out or what he really wants.

  20. Hello.
    I met this guy ” scorpion ” we spend 5 beautiful days together and he was txt me everyday. Saying beautiful sweet things to me. Like I need man like him in my life etc etc.
    10 days ago we had a big fall out, just because I asked a question when I was gone to see him again and he start to be cold and start to ask that he scare etc etc.i left him while he was sleeping in the middle of the night.
    He was very mad at my behaviour and reaction.
    We spoke since then and he keeping saying the he was shocking about my behaviour and just want be friends.
    I really don’t know what to do. It’s really over??
    Help

  21. Hi Been in a live in relationship with a Scorpio man for two years now I am 5month pregnate with his child we really don’t fight but a few days ago we got into it he told me he was happy in life in general that it wasn’t me it was him that he can’t seem to feel more then he should in life he told me cared for me more then he has for any other person two days later he made up his mind to leave me because it was unfair to me I love this man dearly and have child on the way from him I don’t know what to do at this time because I don’t want to let go due to my child and all That we have shared but I honestly don’t know what to do I don’t know what is going on in his head or what he wants because getting that out of him is like pulling teeth but I am a stop loss of pain because I did nothing wrong n he walked out on me

  22. A scorpio is different because they know so much, they are looking for true love to last forever. So when they are in a relationship that does not work, they hang on hoping it will change. So when they start to transition away out of the relationship they are in, its when another person catches their attraction, and the attraction is so strong they may start a new relationship with this new person without really letting go of the other, because they want security to have a love. That we call cheating, to him is a way to fin out if new person really is willing to theirs for ever.
    So if the person A, does not let go and they are working it, scorpio will try everything to save the person he trusted to be there for life, but when you are together you really see if are meant or not to scorpio te person they chose is the perfect person then that person may have bot been totally real, some people do not behave and show their true personality when dating and the it back fires, or the person thought they could commit to someone like a scorpio personality that is a secretive because they want you to know them deep so knowing how they feel would be noticeable by their body language or look, if you cant do that then its hard to deal with a scorpio.
    So the scorpio knows this relationship is not meant they are incompatible but the insecurity, or not wanting to be without true love, so they see this person that fits the personality traits the scorpio seeks, they become interested and start a new relationship without having had an real end to the ex-to-be..

    1-If you come into a union with this scorpio there is a chance scorpio will go back to ex just because so much was spent on trying to work it, that they feel maybe this is my true love forever and I messed itp by seeking a new love, so they go back.
    2-if you both are meant to be only You know because you will react in a way that will be compatible as to what scorpio needs to see as a true love, and will return to you when scorpio all has bee tried to save the relationship with ex, and will value your patience of not going out with the first other person that you meet.

    Scorpio shoes you as a mate, loyalty is expected, understanding, knowing their deep feelings.
    3- loving scorpio unconditionally is what they want and it will be returned once in a Union

    4-if the scorpio has broken up before he met new person and its over because they discovered a cheater the only way scorpio may go back to ex would be to get revenge!!!then dump that person

    5-if scorpio broke it off and its completely done with ex scorpio will not return to ex

    6-if your scorpio met you while in a union with another, you can tell if it was just lust because you flited back to scorpio, made it easy to just have sex, then it will be just that

    7-if you met a scorpio because he watched you for a while and started to make small talk, started to seek you, you made love not sex, you connected as one in making love, connected as if one in all like if he is you, if you received his love through actions and body language, if you looked at scorpio in the eyes when making love and you saw each other as one, if you can see he is confused without talking, give him room, don’t fight, state you are a woman or loyalty, not a regular woman, you can put up with his confution, you can handle the wait, you love him without conditions, and you feel a union even when apart then you are scorpios truelove, and scorpio will return to you unconditionally loving you as they do love.

    8- If you cannot wait then don’t, move on, accept it was not a match, don’t let your ego get to you.
    Listen to your inner voice it is a true message.

    think how many persons are attracted to you and you are not attracted to them, so its not you its just not meant, sex was great, learn from the experience you will find a scorpio or other sign that will be same or similar sign that can bring the right amount of sex, care, communication

  23. Maica, your comment is beautiful. Thank you for taking your time to write it. It shows you really know scorpio men. I don’t know if I can be so patient with their fussiness about small things, their domineering nature and mood changes. Don’t they ever mellow a bit when time passes and they are sure about you? Or does routine make them stir things up so that you don’t get toΓ³ comfy?

  24. Thank you Anne, as with any relationship the reason we seek to find out about their personality traits is to know that we can either say yes we can handle this relationship or no I will not be able to at all to compromise in anyway the way I am and really we are not compromising we are just loving unconditionally when you really love someone and you are going to spend the rest your life with them the little things they do should not bother you or him in if somethings to go there either one of you you can look the other way because the moments together or apart are heaven sent when you’re at work and you’re dying to get home so that you can be together by either joining in the meal or just hanging around the house together doing each other your own things are together and waiting for that night time when both of you get together and it’s like magic to buy two bodies into one then that’s love love is not minding his fussiness not minding anything just like we don’t mind where we are to mothers we don’t mind our babies fussing . The problem nowadays is that women and men are wanting like the perfect person in the recent one that’s why unconditional love is so important because you’re going to love the person the matter how they are if you really do love them of course they should not miss treat you or Buse you mentally or physically but if you’re with someone and you know that you are his woman and he’s your man in there is no doubt between the two of you that you A couple than a sept it be happy with it and don’t look for anything else if you are his girlfriend and he’s your boyfriend and he knows it and you know it if you’re engaged or if you’re married don’t look for the bad things stride to look for the good things in the other person always no matter who it is and then are the woman always look for the good parts of that person if he did something wrong that offended you though that it offend you if you know that’s a personality trait overlook it and think about how he smiles when he sees you or how affectionate he is when he make love to you look for the good things to remember the good things that’s fairly important the fussiness will go away but if that’s the way he is and you know his character and you know if he’s fussy because he didn’t like the way you did something try to find a way to grow up to him like a little girl and see Honey I’m sorry and I don’t know tickling him look at it and give you soft kisses on his phase there is no man that will resist a woman that comes softly up to him and get some soft kisses on this face until we can kill give up he will give up because he is with you so he’s loving you he’s not going anywhere unless you become so bad so so bad that all he’s adding is the badness constantly and then some other woman will come that will attract him and eventually he will go be with that woman but as a Scorpio he will not leave you for that woman unless you continue to be so bad by not finding out why he’s behaving like that like he wants you to know him when he’s fussy leave me alone or if he had a bad day at work leave him alone men do not talk there problems men like to just be left alone to resolve them in their mind it’s not that they’re cheating you women think that men are constantly cheating because they want to be alone are thinking men are like that there’s supposed to be like that so that they are the breadwinner the hunter but the one that brings food to the table the women didn’t do that with and where the gathers that means that they stood close by the house and the gardens and that’s how they provide it and tended the house and all the sudden society change that soon man is confused man doesn’t know what to expect sometimes so be his woman be a strong rock that loves him no matter what don’t be Nit picking his brain if he’s with you and he brings out the best in you and you bring out the best in him when he smiles as you enter the room or he’s happy that you’re there sometimes were happy just to know that person as they are in another room or somewhere in the house or fixing his car but he’s there and you’re there and that makes him happy as long as you’re bonding in bed you are OK as long as you are his woman and his friends know it his family know that you’re OK just be happy that’s what he wants from you be happy take care of the house take care of his loving give him lots of affection when you’re together and close quarters touch a kiss a blown kiss making sandwiches with a little love note though hover over him constantly let you be free and you be free that’s unconditional love he’s doing his thing you’re doing your thing at the end of the night you bond scorpios show their love through sex is not that there sexaholics like everyone thanks it’s that that’s how they show love by eating you alive sort of the way they go on your body all over it they have no words to express they prove they think their secretive because they’re afraid they’re afraid to lose the one they love so their way of showing love is when they’re kissing you when they’re making Love to you that’s how they show love and be happy look the other way at the fuzziness just keep loving him you are lucky to have him he’s one of the signs that stays with his woman forever long as she can put up with all these little quirks let it roll off your back if he looks at another woman he’s just looking if it bothers you remember everything else that’s good about him make believe you didn’t see that and give him a hug or a kiss or just touches hand as you’re walking best wishes in all you do

  25. Dejar Maica, thank you so much for your reply. We don’t have any problem with jealousy. We don’t live together, but have been in a very close relationship for almost a year and a half. He has told me many times that he loves me and so have I. But every few weeks we get into a crisis. It is always him complaining or being sad/angry about the way I do things, about what to me seem small things. He says he feels loved and appreciated, but not valued the way he would like to. He sometimes feels that I am not his priority, whereas he has always made me his priority. We never had any bad argument, and we have always treated each other with respect. But when those small issues begin to accumulate, he withdraws and we spend a few days without talking or seeing each other, until I take the first step to talk. He speaks about taking time to think things over. It makes me sad. He is a wonderful person, very loving and always doing things for me, showing me his love through actions, but is quite inflexible and fixed in his opinions. I am in love with him and have told him many times that I love him the way he is, and have tried to change the things that bother him, working on myself to become a better person, but it doesn’t seem to work. There is always a comment, or some missunderstanding, or something I forgot, that triggers his pain. He gets hurt and distant. He admits that I don’t do those things that bother him on purpose and that I am a good person. But it seems sometimes like I can’t get it right. It is, as you said, like if he was looking for perfection. The perfect relationship, without any disagreements. I tell him that all relationships have some problems, that it is normal for people to have different opinions sometimes. Otherwise, we get on really well. We share many things, have similar views on life and really bond. And our intimate moments are perfect. We are both very emocional and sensitive. I am sad these days because I feel insecure about our relationship. As I said, we are again going through a crisis. He has distanced himself again, and this time it is being longer than usual. I am letting him have his time to think and reflect. He even spoke about breaking up. I am sad but not a wreck. I am being fine, doing my own things, but feel sad. I miss him. Is it going to continue always like this? Don’t know what else to do. One of the things he complaints about is that he thinks I am a bit argumentative and opinionated. I am a strong woman, passionate and have many interests, but I don’t pretend to be in control of the relationship. I am quite happy to let him lead. But I think he feels he is not the complete centre of my life. He has made me the focus of his life whereas I have more obligations and cannot put all my attention on him as much as he does on me. Don’t know if there is any solution to this. By the way, I don’t have any problem with waiting and have no interest in any other man. I am continuing my normal life, taking care of myself, my work, daughter, going out occasionally with friends and working on myself to keep myself emotionally balanced. But it hurts. I thought I had met my soulmate, but right now I don’t know if we will be able to work out all these issues. I don’t know if I can handle this insecurity forever. You said that we should focus on the positive things we have, which are many. And this is what I try to do, and tell him about this. But he seems to focus on the negative. One day he even told me that love is not enough. Sorry for the long message and thank you again for your reply. I send you my very best wishes.

  26. I see a lot of people on here have problem with their Scorpio lovers and geez that’s horrible. I’m a Scorpio and my best relationship was with a Scorpio. Of course we were young and naive at the age of 17 but he spent every waking minute texting me because we didn’t attend school together. We worked together and he always walked me to my car like the true gentleman he was. When we broke up (I was going thru family medical issues and couldn’t handle everything) he quit the job without telling me and when I asked why he said it was because he hated the job. Which is a lie but that’s besides the point. He was an awesome guy and I’d date him again but it has been several years and we follow different paths now. Occasionally we cross paths at the grocery store and I find him staring at me with a blank face (I’m not sure what that’s all about. Feel free to give your input.) so I stare back like the Scorpio I am lol and I go on my merry way. Oddly I still feel a small connection. Who knows but these scorpio men aren’t bad guys! Some are very kind. His birthday was 10.31 and mine was 11.13 :).

  27. I did not say he was bad, i wanted input from a scorpio male, we separated on friendly terms, we see each other sometimes at gym, but last time he came in and saw me and left and did nit stay. Why would he do that.

  28. So he just came in and left and didn’t even work out? That’s strange as hell lol. It’s like he’s just avoiding the situation. Do you ever catch him staring though? I’ve read up alot being a scorpio myself. If i avoid someone it’s to avoid conversation. Atleast he acknowledges that you are there. He does see you! Honestly his emotions are probably stirring within when he sees you. Its hard for Scorpios in general to control everything inside.

  29. Yes i have caught him staring, its weird i know he was into me because for months he watched me i did no know then he let me know then finally he asked me to wait for him after gym to meet at pool it was so wonderful he told me his future plans showed me the inside of his house talked about his family his daughter son etc then suddenly the daughter mom back then i noticed although he texted me am craving you and i want you all over me he then did not keep date and i asked if he wanted to stop seeing each other he said no twice i asked 3 different occasions if he had someone he said no then 1 day his daughter mom text me and i showed him he said they are not married but i guess they decided to try again he had said she had started to talk to him again but i never thought it was that way but his body language is of a confused person torned

  30. I trulybelieve if we r meant i will b there when he and if he returns if i find another then he is not the one so far not interested in anyone i feel fullfilled even if i never have a man again because i truly felt myself with him and he was from with in my mind not even i had realized i had wanted what he said and did and reacted till it happened

  31. okay!
    I met by this Scorpio guy on facebook he claims to have met me before, we’ve been chatting and it’s been great, he wanted to meet up but I refused then things got heated, but we solved it and obviously I had to agree with him. I compromised, when the time came for us to meet he made some excuses and apologised and claimed not to be ready.. I understood we got along for some time but now he seems rather distant and seldom texts me…
    I’m getting confused and scared cause I think I love him .he’s six years older.
    should I be getting ready to leave or what cause I feel like I won’t be able to stand him
    I’m an Aries

  32. I don’t understand your dilemma you say should I leave are you living with him or you met and now you’re you’re you’re thinking of moving with him I don’t understand

  33. CancerChick says:

    My story seems to be similar to many of the ones on here-in regards to dealing with a scorpio man. Me and my scorpio man (now ex of 1 month) went to same high school & hung in same crowds, actually hooked up one night at a party back then & that was it, nothing ever came from it, but always remained friendly. We graduated in 1998. I didn’t see him again until 2003 when I was at my close girlfriends block party & he comes walking up. I find out him & my friend started seeing each other. I was engaged at the time to someone else anyway, & i never had feelings for him anyway back then, so it was just cool to get to hang with him as a friend again since it was 5 yrs since graduation. My friend & him wind up having a kid (both their first) together, but broke up shortly after. 6 months after they break up, he was contacting me periodically & would flirt with me, and try to get me to go over his place (during this time I called off wedding to guy I was engaged to, for other reasons, nothing to do with scorpio guy). I always declined his invitations & would play things he would say off as a joke bc I was still friends with his now baby mama. I wouldn’t do that to her and thought of him as a brother by that point anyway. Fast forward to Sept 2015, I find myself in middle of a divorce (got married in 2011 to someone I met at work & dated for 4 yrs). I found my then husband cheating so filed for divorce. Also, the summer of 2015, scorpios baby mama (“my close friend”) & I had a huge falling out that can never be fixed (her fault) so I cut ties with her. Side note-Scorpio has always worked on all my cars (he was my mechanic). So in Sept I met him for oil change, long story that night we spent together & slept together. Neither one of us were looking for a serious thing & made that known to each other. Months went by and I tried cutting him off, knowing that I was falling for him & he wasn’t looking for that so he said. But when I’d break it off, he would suck me back in. We became official in Dec 2015. We both talked bout the connection we shared. This connection as much as I want to block it out & hate him now, I can’t deny it and can’t hate him. And it was both physical & mental. I never experienced anything like it. April 2016 everything was great. Until our big fight. He began saying he heard things about me from his ex (my ex friend) and at first he didn’t believe em but began to think I was the liar. I cared so much for him, and wanted to prove myself so badly, I thought about allowing him to give me a lie detector! Mind u I would never do that for anyone it’s rediculous. Anyway, long story short, we tried working it out but he was stuck in his beliefs and eventually cut all ties with me. I’m still hurt by it all bc I know he’s making a mistake and it is not fair that I feel & i am being treated as if I am wrong, but I did nothing wrong! He blocked me on fb, phone, etc (like I would stalk lol and he knows I would never so that made me mad too). My friend saw him 3 was after we broke up he said to her he thinks about me everyday and wanted to marry me, but he just can’t be with a liar. It’s sad bc I never lied. And he never even allowed me to prove that , and was so quick to walk away, but says to my friend, he never felt like this about anyone. It makes no sense. If it were vise versa I would have given him a chance. Then if something happened again, OK bye, but to do this is a mess. Now I’m stuck no closure, I have this gut feeling it’s not over, but then I feel it is. And normally if anyone else did this to me I would never want them back, but him, I think of at least 20x a day and would most likely jump at the opportunity if he came back in my life. I would love some comments on this in regards to the scorpio aspect. Like what is he doing? Lol what r his issues and problems and thoughts. Will he ever contact me again in an attempt to work it out or is he done bc he thinks I lied?

  34. i am just want some clear explanation why this ex scorpio man is not answering my question if he is in relationship right now which I knew he is (he doesn’t know I knew) …we are just got back on talking after 3 years of no communication due to some reasons and I found out before that he is with someone else and the girl called me that she is the girlfriend of my boyfriend….

  35. I’m looking for advice from a Scorpio male or female.
    I’ve been with my Scorpio for 7 months in a committed forever relationship – his words. I am madly in love with him. Everything was perfect until I found him active on an online dating site. I took that as a bad sign, called him on it, told him goodbye which he refused to accept and then he told me he loved me for the first time and said he did nothing on the website. *At that point I wasn’t sure about his motives so I went online and started talking with guys but didn’t date anyone and he found me online and said he was very hurt. Ever since he has been cold (non communicative) – he only sees me once every 2-3 weeks and only texts me once a day..every morning. He still says he loves me. He also says that he originally said we would be together forever and he meant it (and that I must not ever be online or talk with another guy – I agreed. I don’t want to. I only want him) and he said that he was working to open up. I asked him if he will ever get past the fact that I spoke with other guys and he says he is working on it. It’s been months. Will he ever get over it?
    He also has never (not once) allowed me to come to his house. This is a huge concern for me, but he says only when he trusts does he let someone come over b/c he know how emotionally invested he gets. We had become very very close and I let him into every aspect of my life…home work etc. He has been so quiet and silent. Is he phasing me out? Am I a side chick b/c I haven’t been to his home? What should I do?

    Thoughts would be greatly appreciated. πŸ™‚

  36. @Scorp – Would value your input.

    Thank you.

  37. Hey, I read your comment. I know it must be hard, I’m a scorpio myself. I don’t want to say your a side chick because I dont really know considering i can be very distant myself when someone hurts me. Why he hasn’t brought you to his house.. I have no idea but he definitely wants to know everything about before he ever tells you anything about himself. I know because that’s how I am. Maybe you should do some research (because a scorpio would), kind of like some digging on him. Are you on his Facebook? Is there anywhere he could be hiding something? Usually scorpios don’t just throw the word love around but we are very secretive and once we catch you in something (even if we did it ourselves) like talking to other people.. That’s betrayal even if you aren’t together at the time. One of the worst things you can do is betray a scorpio because they may not be able to trust you anymore and no trust = no relationship. But i hope this gave you some insight πŸ™‚ do some digging around yourself.

  38. Kathryn,

    Thank you very much. He has a fb with only his company profile, no comments, a handful of guy friends, and no other social media whatsoever.
    Re: Feeling betrayed: Would you be able to turn it around? He has been so silent, but still calls me his love. I really love him and will do and take whatever time he needs to regain his trust.
    Thanks again for taking the time to share and comment back. I greatly appreciate it. πŸ™‚

  39. Hello dear I need an urgent advice I am a Libra 27 years old with a Scorpio man 32 years old for 1 year and 8 months. We are long distnace and he visited me 3 times. We lived the best time and I was falling deeply in love with him, he told me he love me and he start to dig in my past, he wanted to know everything and I decided to be honest with him. Afterword he start acting distance and he told me that he is hurt and he wished if he was the 1st and the last one. I got him so close to me my work my family I tell him about everything in my life and I decied to open up the married topic to him since its the only way to be close to him, his reaction was that hes not sure becouse of my past and becouse of my family problems he cant make up his mind. I felt so bad becouse I love him so much things start going up and down and I start getting sick of the long distance btween us. I decided to reduce the contact and I stop calling him unless he does. He told me that he start talking to someone else in the time I wasnt that close to him. I was so suprised that he find a replacement that fast and I told him I dont feel save around you anymore and leave this realshinship to the distany. Since then we stop talking he didnt reach me at all its been days now. We still have each other on socail media and he post sometimes stuff like “I was your dream and you got confi” ” you wasted time playing games and I found someone worth it” I dont know what to do I love him I want to make him happy I want to be close to him its been 3 months now we didnt see each other. please advice me?

  40. unpleasantly_unsurprised says:

    So here’s one for you guys. I have to put it in the universe because I’m lost right now.

    So he’s 30 scorp I’m a 25yo leo and we’ve been together for almost a year and a half. He’s my first love and when we started it was super casual. In fact he said he wanted a pseudo relationship as in all the perks no commitment. I knew immediately there was a love connection so I couldnt say no even though I wanted more. We had amazing chemistry but I was always very reserved and to make up for it he shared his life with me told me his troubles and slowly I began to give input and share too. I tried to enter the relationship knowing it wasn’t serious so I was like I’ll leave in three months when school starts. but that never happened. after six months I saw him on tinder. let him go. but he told me that it was ok that it was more than casual. Of course I stayed. skip a few months ahead and we are in the Ozarks with his friends and I find he’s been talking to other women. doesn’t seem to be meeting up with them but still fuck. I ask him to leave and end it if a monogamy wasn’t his thing. but he says I want this now my feelings changed. we still hadn’t admitted we loved each other because he wont say it and I wont be that girl. but despite all my doubts i suspected he loved me. our chemistry, sex, spiritually all were signs of true love and even though i have my doubts of love and fears of heartbreak I go with it 100%.

    Throughout this whole ordeal he is just getting hardship after hardship works shitty he works long hours his family has drama his friends drama (he is drama) but stuffs going well for me so I support him, not living together or anything, but i cook clean do laundry and give him love and support to try to ease the load I spend the night maybe 2-4 nights a week. He was meeting my family and I had the opportunity to meet his (but passed). and I was content and happy to be with him but still holding my reservations because before I tried to break it off he was sleeping with multiple other women along with me once or twice a week! so i dont believe I can trust him.

    SO he gets distant a month after we go on vacation alone I had some family drama and back to school so I was quiet and distant and not as able to respond positively to his life drama and moodiness, but that seems temporary to me. ANYWAY. Late in September he gets distant. I got irritated because hes ignoring me and hanging out with his couple friends and im like but why cant I join you? and hes like I need my space I shouldnt feel guilty for hanging out with friends and I agreed but still felt shitty. but for good reason because a week later hes still distant and I ask if he wants a break because he seems to want a lot of space but he says he misses me and wants to see me.

    When we meet I eventually break down say I dont understand, he tells me not to take it personally, hes older and he hates his job and needs to fix his life start a new career and he needs space. so i leave feeling no better. The next day I call to try to elaborate I left quickly because I felt unwelcomed but I finally admit I love him and he says he loves me and has for a while but he doesnt know if he can give me what I need or if Im willing to support him. a month goes by where I’m text him 2-3 times and he gets back if he feels like it but I cant live like that so I drop off his keys and he reminds me I didnt do anything wrong. I remind him that this feels like goodbye. happy early birthday… I ask if its over still no answer.

    couple more weeks i spot him on tinder and im pissed because i had asked if we should see other people and got a bs answer that hes too busy for that right now and he cant control what i do (scorpio mind games) So I call him out and get a response after so much silence he is super defense. ‘i guess your spies saw me out at a bar. i wasnt even talking to other girls. doesnt sound like someone playing the field. I was thinking about deleting my tinder account’ So I called and ask if he just wants to end it because we arent in the right place and he literally says yes…. and no… so i go over there and we have this hours long discussion where I keep asking him if we should just end it.

    I tell him hes just trying to make me take the burden of breaking up. hes messed up in the head. at one point I was like I dont think you want to break up… and he was like no I feel like I would have said by now if i did ( id asked sooo many times) WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT its so passive and hes so dominate it makes no sense. At one point he pulled out a letter i gave him when I dropped off his keys which was all about my love and support and fear and he actually read it in front of me. the worst i mean the most vulnerable thing to do. he says he wished he knew this early and I say what difference does it make! So he says he needs more time. A few more weeks. he said he was glad I came over, which I find hard to believe. I grab some belongings have average sex and leave. I text him on his birthday apologizing for saying how messed up he was over and over, that its ok to be messed up. he replies ‘i guess that doesnt make it any less true…’ and so i say happy birthday i hope i didnt make him feel bad. and now its been 11 days since hes had any contact with me. and i dont think theres anything I can say. so i say nothing too. Im so scared I’ll never have him again and it’s so hard to move on when he refused to just end it. so here I am wallowing in severe heartache with really awful things happening elsewhere that I cant control contributing to this inability to do anything productive. I understand that I manifested it in some way because I always imagined us ending. but why wont he let me go? Im sorry for this long rant but I have to get it out. Its been 6 weeks since things were normal and I still go to sleep and wake up with him on my mind and I just dont know what to do with myself anymore.

Feel free to leave a comment below, or scroll down a bit to comment using your Facebook identity. If you want to avoid having to enter your name and email every time you post, create an account. If you already have an account, login and you will be redirected back to this page.

*