A reader asks:
I recently had my heart broken by a Scorpio male who claimed he is better “on his own” yet ended it with “I may come back around.”How do you win a Scorpio male’s affections for good?
You’re being led on. Are you going to wait around while your Scorpio ex plays his power trip? If he claimed he was better on his own, why would you want him back? I know you love him, but you also have to (1) respect yourself and (2) be realistic.
Scorpios don’t turn around when they’ve left. This fixed sign sticks around and doesn’t budge, but once a relationship has died, he moves on. If you’re a snake who has just shed, are you going to try to fit back in to your old skin?
Which leads to the question, “How do you win his affections for good?” I hate to bust your delusions, but nothing is permanent. You cannot make anyone love you forever. If you initially win a Scorpio’s affections, probably the best way to maximize the chances he’ll stick around is if you keep changing. Scorpios undergo major transformations at the frequency that the rest of us tie our shoelaces, and if you remain static, he’s going to get bored by you. Regardless of your sign, you ought to occasionally dig up your skeletons to see if anything is ready to be exhumed. Your psychological growth should at least keep him interested.
Comment below: How do you keep a Scorpio interested over the long haul?
About Jeffrey Kishner
@scorp
Thanks Scorp. It’s always good to hear it from a guy! (I get on better with guys in general).
Sorry to be a pain, but I don’t understand what you mean by saying: “why didnt it boost you too.” Why didn’t what boost me? (sorry, i’m living in overseas so am not sure what u r trying to say….) :s
I think that HE is hiding something. I have nothing to hide and I have never kept anything from him. I don’t play games & am up-front about things all the time. I cannot see the point in bullshitting someone; if we BOTH like each other, I believe in cutting the crap and getting onto with the fun stuff!! (less headache and confusion).
I’ve never had a guy give so many mixed signals before. I know for a fact that he is shy ans a bit of a geek (which I quite like) but he seems repressed! – Either that or he finds me scary ‘cos i’m direct (yes – I can be girly & sweet, too).
Hmmm… I think that you are very right in saying that I should move on!! I have been trying to for the past 6 months but cannot stop thinking abt him…it is annoying me now!! I get a lot of attention from guys in general (am a good looking girl) but As much as i’m fighting against it, there’s something about him that is pulling me to him like a magnet… I cannot explain… It feels as though he is supressing his feelings or in denial…. OR maybe he doesn’t like that i’m a couple of yrs older than him & is prob scared that i’m after marriage? God knows…but one thing is for sure is that my capricorn patience has worn thin and i’m BORED of bullshit!
To ANY Scorpio males out there – Pls do NOT “play” a Capricorn female ‘cos we have very long & unforgiving memories!!! We don’t like game play and we are direct & honest people. There’s no need for bullsh** as it only creates animosity and insults our intelligence. We are sensitive and we have feelings. If you want to play games, go hire a hooker for a few hours!!!!
To all the NICE Scorp males out there…. don’t ever change!
xx
Hello Kitty! I’m a Cap as well, but I have no experience dating a Scorpio, unfortunately.
However, sun signs aside, I think he enjoyed chasing you, but as soon as you gave in he began to back away because he now feels your more serious about him than he is about you. I won’t say it’s all fun and games for him, but you see it happen all the time with how males pursue. A girl is bad@#$ and the guys wants her, will do anything to get her, and once she lets her guards down he realizes that she has her insecurities, vulnerabilities, weaknesses…she wants love, a relationship, family etc. and she began to fall while he realizes he’s way in over his head, and starts to back away. There’s always a softie that longs underneath that tough exterior, but thing is, he’s probably attracted to that exterior.This is why I don’t take guys that chase seriously. We Cappies have high standards and are serious about relationships, and our day-to-day faces and charm(lol) has nothing to do with how we operate within a relationship. Maybe he picked up a bit on the seriousness? Either way, I also think you should move on to someone that is sure about what he wants and can handle the whole package.
kitty,
scorpio are worst people to handle your mistakes.lol
cappy..hmmm not at all.
My scorpion chased me for 4 months. Knew that he was interested but waited for him to make the first move and ask me out. Had to give him my # as an invitation. 3 days later, he called. 15 minutes into the conversation, which was more like an intetview, he asked me out. 3 amazing dates, lots of flirting at work (had already worked in the same place for just over a year at the time and at first openly hated each other- how bout’ that?!?), and only one month’s time, he confessed that he liked me- really liked me, he was taken by me, and asked what I was looking for. I told him that I was looking to date and meet people (I had just got out of a 14 yr relationship 6 mos prior). He told me that he was suprised that a girl would want to date a guy who was dating others rather than commit. Just before parting, he finally kissed me for the first time (3rd date!). A week later (and no contact from him, although I tried to get ahold of him to tell him that we shared mutual feelings), he called, told me that he didn’t like that we worked together, was seeing someone else, and didn’t want to see me anymore. It was two months before I ever saw him again (even at work). He ran!
We began to communicate, but very little- basically me chasing, him running- yet still the stares, flirting, …just over a year now with this lovely madness.
3 months back I told him that I was still into him. He told me that he had a girlfriend and also stated “My situation has not changed.” Pissed me off! First, it implies that he is somewhat of a player. Second, I still have an undeniable attraction and strong feelings for him regardless. He will not see me outside of work, as I have asked him out for casual invites to casual outings, etc., with no luck, but he always wants to stop and talk and stare when we see each other about around job.
Damn it! I want him! Should I become passive and not give him my attention any longer in hopes of changing the vibe, or continue to be attentive and giddy when we see each other- open for possibilities, maybe? I can tell/ see that he still has feelings for me, but how can I convey my feelings without coming across like I’m oblivious to the fact that there is an underlying issue that keeps him cautious (it is not just a girlfriend- honestly I respect the relationship and his space but his flirting is so overwhelming)? Can I get him to open up again? Something tells me I shut him down on that 3rd date and hurt him- failed the test. I am an aries woman by the way. It would be so yummy and insatiable if we could get back togehter and try again. I sooo want another chance.
@tamika
I agree with you! We DO have high standards and we cut to the chase (and the fun things that come with it!
)
My Scorp doesn’t seem to realise that HIS actions caused me to become “pushy” about meeting up. I am never like that usually and had never in 5-6 months displayed that behaviour. It was beacause i started losing trust in him & feeling as though he was playing games with me and leading me on…
Lesson for the future: IF a guy turns hot and cold like that again – DELETE him from my life.
Capricorns are far too good for time-wasters. What a joke! Worst thing is tht my friend introduced us and she knew that i utterly hate “games” and “bullshit”!!!!
@marie
I didn’t understand what you meant by:
‘”scorpio are worst people to handle your mistakes.lol
cappy..hmmm not at all.”
what does “cappy…hmmm not at all” mean? it didn’t make sense, sorry.
@romina
God, I sooo know how u feel!!!
It is frustrating and upsetting. He’s a jerk! He chased you and made moves on you but then flip-turned and started dating someone else?!! WTF???!!!!!! What kind of a guy does that?!! He sounds insecure.
He hurt you before you could hurt him, it seems.
He is fucking with your head, your heart and your emotions!
WHY do guys play games? There is no need for it.
I wasted over 1 yr wracking my brains as to what I did wrong (I know that i am not blameless and must’ve acted in a way tht freaked him out), but still… IF people stoped playing games and were a bit more direct & open/honest about how they felt, then they’d be having great relationships without the drama and confusion. I really don’t understand people sometimes!
My advice is RUN!
Move on, get on with your life and let HIM feel the pain of watching you create a wonderful future without him in it!
Ladies, we are ALL far too good for these guys!
There are some amazing guys out there who would treat us with love and respect….we need to stop focusing on these emotionally inhibited losers and make room for the good guys!!!!!!
(I am trying to listen to my own advice here, too! ;p)
K
So what is it about them that has the pull? I am a gemini just head over heels for a Scorp. We’re just friends as he’s got so much going on at the moment, there really isn’t time to invest into anything close to a relationship.
He tells me he’s not ready, but when I flirt with him…he’s very reseptive which keeps me interested. It’s more or less just fun right now, and I’m not sure he even knows how attracted to him I am…it’s all I think about some times!
I won’t make the first move if/when the time comes…when/if he actually does, will tell me he’s got feelings for me. But the waiting is so hard it almost hurts!
I’ll continue to be his friend and it’s great that he and I can talk about just about anything really…just wishing he was ready to take it up a level.