What does a Scorpio girl got to do to get Cancer back?

So the Scorpion hurt the Crab, and she wants to lure the Crab back so that she can hurt him again?

I know, I know, you didn’t mean to (or you couldn’t help yourself). But remember that Cancer is even more vulnerable than you. You both can hide it well — Cancer withdraws into his shell to protect himself, and you are master of keeping your private life secret — but poor Cancer is just so sensitive. Ruled by the emotional Moon, he doesn’t live by Scorpio’s “I don’t get mad, I get even” M.O. Rather, his is, “I get hurt, I curl up on my couch with my dog and a bag of chips and watch football.” (A female Cancer may do the same, but with a pint of ice cream and the Lifetime Channel.)

So, how is he going to trust you again? Security and safety are important to Cancer, so he’s not gonna open himself up to you unless he knows you won’t bite. He can forgive — he’s aware that moods fluctuate, and that people do regretful things when under the spell of their emotions.

Can you be a safe harbor to him, equal to his dog, remote and chips? That’s questionable. You can be consistent — that is, until the Plutonic force of change irrevocably alters your course, compelling you to burn all your bridges on the way to your new destination. That sounds a little too intense for Cancer — he doesn’t even want to cross the bridge.

So what does a Scorpio girl got to do?

Listen, you should be able to work this out. You’re both Water signs — you “get” each other when it comes to brewing in your feeling-worlds. You can be incredibly persistent when you’re driven to accomplish something. If you can convince him — as well as yourself — that no matter how turbulent your inner life becomes, you’ll still apply your Martian will towards stabilizing the home front, then he might let you back in. But, hey — there are no guarantees. You’re a Scorpio, after all.

Comment below: Are you a Scorpio? How have you gotten your Cancer back?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    additional footnote:

    husband and I, I think….are finally going to end this once and for all..

  2. I see.. when you asked around the first time, what kind of answers did you get? If the friends had his back, you probably wouldn’t get a better response the second time ’round anyway. Although if you’re goig to ask, you should assert your right to know what the deal is! If he disappeared on you as a lover (even in the emotional sense), okay, that’s understandable.. but to disappear on you as a friend?? That at the very least deserves some kind of explanation.

  3. I see.. when you asked around the first time, what kind of answers did you get? If the friends had his back, you probably wouldn’t get a better response the second time ’round anyway. Although if you’re goig to ask, you should assert your right to know what the deal is! If he disappeared on you as a lover (even in the emotional sense), okay, that’s understandable.. but to disappear on you as a friend?? That at the very least deserves some kind of explanation.

    Sorry to hear about you marriage, but if it’s for the best..

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for your kind words. It seems I know what the never ending question of is it over (with my husband). Everytime I think (and it has been time after time, year after year) that this is the last straw…this it finally it..my husband then promises to be better (not party so much), be a good husband, etc….He is an very loving and extremely loyal person, but this headache has been ongoing for the past 10 years….so much that everyone else wonders why I still deal with this….alot of it is love and the belief that people work things out, that people grow together and support each other….the other part is well…if after so many years, the partying issues and selfishness are still there, maybe they will never go away…

    That is how my non speaking Cancer friend was the absolute opposite – he totally understood me and was able to make me not constantly stand on edge. Sure during the short two weeks, I was very emotional when I said goodbye to my favorite horse (I know I sound like I am 13 years old), he totally understood it…, I got mad at him and said my opinion about some females at a particular party who were absolute witches to me (but they were really inconsequential since no one else knows them!), I was nice, I was also a pain at times…and through all of this…he totally understood me. I could be myself. The last words we said to each other before I left was just a mutual appreciation of just how special he was and how special I was.

    After all the years that I have had having many guy friends and a few boyfriends, I have never encountered someone who just so almost completely fit into my entire world and who I am.

    I even told my husband about everything that we did, where we went, etc….because since he was only a friend, I did not feel that there was anything wrong with our friendship (but yes, in my heart, I knew that he really was the most unique person – for me, that I ever met). I was just happy to have him at least as a close friend.

    Well….I never really asked his best friends about him, since then..As I mentioned, when his best friend that first introduced us and told me to call him, very excitedly asked me about my trip….I was very cool and non-committal about my non-speaking Cancer friend other than he was a really, really nice person.

    The hard part about going back to his city, since everyone knew we were always together. So much that I could here things in the background of people asking about me and someone saying I was with him…etc…. (that was the difference with all the other females that I encountered, many of them, unless they were the childhood friends or sisters of childhood friends, were not in the different groups that he introduced me to and made me a part of…except me…or unless of course you were the girlfriend or wife.

    But the inclusion with his family was really the big thing (and that his family did not know I was married) and he just brought me everywhere and I was so comfortable just staying with his father, brothers,etc…even if he was elsewhere, he just wanted me to be there…and all invitations from others to us…was always, “we cannot make it, or we will be there”.

    …the only thing that worried me a little was his mother separated many years ago from his father….she left them…and she is a Scorpio!!!!!

    anyway…so know that I spend alot of time in the city where his younger brother lives, he knows indirectly about all my friends and ongoings there..so when I go back to his city, the question will be how to handle it?

    Sometimes I am so mad, part of me just feels like…too bad, you blew it…you just disappeared and it is your lost….but then I know that I still would really like to know WHY….you are absolutely right, as a lover, it is understandable, but since we never even kissed (but yes, I truly believe in my heart I was given an amazing gift in my time with him) as a friend…that is why til this day I do not understand and do not know if I should still even try….

  5. First Degree Burn says:

    Similar to dry ice, antifreeze is a highly effective antidote to mediocrity.

    lololol

  6. First Degree Burn says:

    the mirror has many faces

    lololol

  7. Anonymous says:

    Dear First Degree,

    Thanks for your input…please explain and expand your thoughts. I’ve often been told that I talk in riddles with double meanings (except here since I thought it was pretty straight forward). I would appreciate your insight.

  8. Anonymous says:

    @ First Degree Burn – interesting choice of username. I used the link that you put for “antifreeze”…and while I understand your reasoning and agree to a certain extent, the non-speaking person in question is a Cancer.

    Since I was a teenager, I made it my business to develop into a “evolved” Scorpio. I am the Scorpio and while I am quite aware of my abilities to camoflauge my thoughts and visible facade to the world…that is the very thing with my non-speaking friend – I was able to completely be myself, not worry about how I reacted to things, did not need to play or camoflauge things and just simply be at peace….something that a Scorpion is not always used to.

    Anyway, please expand on your mirror has many faces thoughts.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Ok….so I am the Scorpio from above, with the non-speaking Cancer friend who included her in everything and everyday of his life for 2 weeks…but I was married so nothing happened or could have happened….

    So I finally made the break with my husband (which had nothing to do with my non speaking Cancer friend) because our problems over the past few years are still the same problems and have not changed.

    But my trying to write an email to the Cancer boy was a simple, hi how are you, it’s been forever ( FYI 1 year actually) since we last spoke, i still value your friendship and think you are a special person, etc… it would be great if we could hang out again and just talk to each other again.

    plus i said if i did anything that upset you or made you unhappy, i’m sorry.

    No answer. still no answer…and yet I saw that he added 6 new people (1 of whom was his ex-girlfriend whom he also did not speak to for almost a year…but she was his girlfriend…he and i never even kissed) to his little group today, when I wrote the email! so I know he most likely did see me email today.

    i’m mad, i’m sad. part of me feels like, forget it…part of me would just like an answer of why? it’s over a year now and he still refuses to talk to me….

    any advice?

  10. Anonymous says:

    I am the “Anon” one from the previous zillion notes who has the non-speaking Cancer “friend”.

    He actually answered me today. It is the first response I have had in over one year!

    In my last attempt to try one more time, I kept it light and apologized for any unhappiness I might have caused.

    He apologized for not answering me or contacting me sooner (1 yr!). He said to let him know when I was around (in town).

    Nothing really notable, except this was his first attempt to communicate with me after my at least 8 emails/ attempts to contact him. (not mentioning the smses!)

    So how do I handle this? There was really no indication whatsoever about friendship or more. Other than I told him that I valued his friendship and hoped that we could hang out because I missed that.

    He basically just said to let him know when I was around.

    So how should I handle this?

    I think I should keep it light and just have lunch or a drink…keep things superficial now, until we actually see each other right?

    Have no clue how to handle this!

    Advice????

  11. Anonymous says:

    p.s. I did mention in my email (that he finally answered) that despite the fact he never read my last card, I was going to try one more time because I do not give up on the things that matter to me…that I valued his friendship and still thought he was very special…

    ok…so with that in mind and his agreeing to see me, how should I proceed? what is he thinking? what does his break in silence after 1 year mean?

    THANKS!!!

  12. Anonymous says:

    cancer men…oh god! im a scorpio and i had the worst experience with cancers. at first you feel like they`re the ones for you like everything is just so amazing, you can talk for 9 hours straight and not get bored or tired, and still be like omg i cant get enough of you…so aaaannywho i dont understand how someone can do that and still be so cold at the same time. we would go for like 2 weeks without talking and then we`d talk …act like nothing happened and be together all day all lovey dovey and it wasnt booty calls cause we didnt sleep together. now i m actually fed up so i stopped paying attention to him and i think thats driving him mad because hes giving me all these bullshit excuses and trying to get me to chase his evil ass again. happens with cancers..not the first time. btw im a cancer rising too..unfortunately

  13. latintwist says:

    ok…I’m a scorpio woman whos been seeing a cancer man for about 1year now.Its only a casual affair,In the beginning I tried to make a commitment with him but he went into his shell claiming he still had ties to his ex,so I ignored him for a good month swaring to myself that I would never speak to him again.
    Btw ignoring a cancer man never works, it makes them even more clingy ,they hate being ignored!
    He has become my most beautiful mistake,he confuses me ,he claims he doesn’t want a relationship with me ,But hes always coming over to my place ,spending the night ! Now were like bestfriends with benifits lol,just the other night I was cooking dinner while he helped me study for my math test.Other nights he brings over a bottle of wine and we snuggle on the couch and watch cartoons together lol.I know, I know ,its crazy right?I would love to make this permanant but I don’t know how?I just go with the flow hoping he will realize that we are perfect for eachother.

  14. To the Scorp woman with the “nonspeaking” Cancer friend who has just answered her 8th email… way to go, Scorpio! That’s the lovely part about obsession, we sometimes eventually get what we’re after. It was Robin Williams who said “if men can’t F**K it, they’ll kill it”… always reminds me of my Scorpio Moon! Anyway, I think you should (gasp)… TELL THE TRUTH to your Cancer friend. You’ll be happy you did, because it’s sheer torture keeping yourself safe. My Scorpio moon has done me in with it’s secrets, always related to emotions I am afraid to show someone. I hide worse than any cancerian. My 7th house Moon is squared by a Uranus/Chiron opposition so I am always getting shocked by partners. I am learning that the only way to survive is to be honest instead of doing the pre-emptive strike when I think someone is going to hurt me.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Hi Diane….thank you for your message! I haven't checked back until now because we sort have been at an impasse again….he answered…but when I only emphasized missing our friendship and did not go on about anything else….he stopped answering me again for like another 3 months…but INDIRECTLY answering my questions on that Facebook platform…anyway, so i finally went typical scorpio and went to his family home to drop chocolates for his father…whom i adore…i was almost going to say, 'this is it…he makes no effort to see you'…but his father's extremely welcoming and soooo warm hugs and invite for dinner the next evening reminded me of the good side in him.

    i had to leave his city, so i could not have dinner…but…although this might have seemed a bit obsessive – i just wanted a face to face answer about the silence….it actually prompted him to call me! for the first time in over 16 months….we were going to talk about doing something this weekend, but i had gone to oktoberfest in munich last weekend and he saw these pictures that a DEAR friend of many years (he did not know that) posted…it looked sort of "like we were a couple"….so he did not call to talk about the weekend like we were supposed to…

    anyway….so then i wrote IMed him and said that i wanted to come down to his city to enjoy the last days of the warmer weather (i also talked to some of our mutual friends so it was not really just to him)…he said a friend was visiting (female) from another city so he was not sure…i said, ok…well let me know if not and i'll come down….see we often have maybe 6 people who will spend the weekend together, friends etc….anyway….then i got scorp possessive and was thought, 'no if he wants to see you…then he will make the effort'…..

    But see, here is the clue…i still have not told him about my other feelings…despite all the close time from last year…however, i clearly said, what are your plans, let me know so i can make flight arrangements….

    but he did not call me back…and apparently has an "issue" with his phone not sending messages…but WHATEVER…so dial my phone number and tell me!!

    so he sends me an email and says< "sorry i'm busy this weekend….hope this is not a problem for you….hope to hear from you soon…."

    well it IS a problem for me that he could not call me instead of the stupid msg…..ok….so my question now is, no reply for a few days (but that is NOT me!) or what i want to say is,

    "i am alot upset that you could not just call me to tell me, but thank you for the message….i really wanted to see you so if and when you are not busy and you want to see me, let me know…hopefully i will be around"….

    should i send this??? too harsh especially since he is just starting to talk to me again??

    but see…after i saw his father last weekend…i told him why was he behaving like an idiot? with such a fantastic father he could not possibly be so bad…

    should i send this very strong email???? your advice is appreciated!

  16. Anonymous says:

    oh…and despite the “why are you behaving like an idiot” comment…he actually called me….

    but now….knowing that this “female” friend…whomever she is most likely going to be around for the weekend, i’m feeling extremely scorpio jealous pissed off….

    but again…i still have never told him about my feelings….should i sent this, “i’m upset…..etc” mail???

  17. Anonymous says:

    i mean he did write, “sorry i’m busy…i hope this is not a problem for you….hope to hear from you soon.”

  18. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been reading your comments, and I feel for you because it seems to me you’re made a trap for yourself with a pretty bang on Scorpionic obsessive pattern…I need to tell you this…GET OVER IT. For your own peace of mind. I know what it must feel like for you, because unfortunately I’ve done the same thing to myself, and let me tell you something cold and harsh, A Man Goes After What And Who He Wants, end of story. You can be the brightest, and most neautiful, but if he’s not feeling it, it’s not happening. He liked you, as a friend, you are married, he’s not interested in taking it any further. Go out, travel, meet new people ( preferably men) enjoy your life, and stop obsessing over someone that isn’t showing you the respect, even as a friend to you. Would you allow a friend to treat you that way? He’s not your friend, he has moved on, and you need to do the same. Don’t waste anymore of your precious life waiting for him to make a move, I’m sorry but I feel he won’t, and then some day you’ll look back and wonder why you wasted such precious time on a person that doesn’t want, expect or deserve your time or your love. It’s time to for you to move on. Sorry.

  19. Thanks so much for your msg….it is actually exactly what i told myself the other day….actually to be more exact…, “the plane/train/boat is leaving you are either on it or missed it and it’s gone daddy gone”!

    I did end up sending the quicky reply telling him that i was alot upset….and if and when he decided hopefully i’ll be around.

    See that is the problem though….you mentioned travel…alot guys do i have problem with this…see i travel quite a bit..i live between the us and europe and often south america and asia….so i really do get to meet zillions of people and have friends everywhere…..and actually some guys have commented that it is hard to build something with me….he himself did say that…

    but the thing is, it does not matter…if I feel strongly about someone or something my loyalties are there.

    that’s the thing….no matter how many people i have met…there really was no one with the characteristics that really “get” and can deal with my sometimes over the top scorp behavior….but him.

    then the fact that he completely made me a part of his life….then just shut me out…well, that of course drives me nuts.

    and i never told him how i really felt…. 🙁

    anyway….so i heard down the wire that he was really strange and not in party fest mode last night. good because i posted a pic of myself with the girls out!

    anyway….yeah…..this is bs….time to move on…i’m glad i wrote that slightly pissed off msg…that is me and either he can deal with it or not….and if not…well then oh well right!

    it just would have been nice to hear from him just exactly why he has gone into this completely opposite behavior…

    anyway….your comments were appreciated!

  20. oh..and of course the married part also means taking a pro-active decision….the fact that i live in europe half the time sort of makes a huge statement…but i guess one step at a time….

    i just always had to ask myself…”why was i presented with this person that was exactly the person that i always dreamed of…and thought did not exist?”…but then i walked away… and now he won’t let me back in….but then again…he never knew i felt this way.

    ah well…..things happen for a reason i suppose…

    i just wanted some closure on this…and face to face so that someday i do not look back with the “what if i told him how much he did mean to me and how much everything that he did for me before really meant to me”…..except now I cover everything in the friendship clould…

    anyway…happy sunday

  21. Anonymous says:

    Thanks so much for your msg….it is actually exactly what i told myself the other day….actually to be more exact…, “the plane/train/boat is leaving you are either on it or missed it and it’s gone daddy gone”!

    I did end up sending the quicky reply telling him that i was alot upset….and if and when he decided hopefully i’ll be around.

    See that is the problem though….you mentioned travel…alot guys do i have problem with this…see i travel quite a bit..i live between the us and europe and often south america and asia….so i really do get to meet zillions of people and have friends everywhere…..and actually some guys have commented that it is hard to build something with me….he himself did say that…

    but the thing is, it does not matter…if I feel strongly about someone or something my loyalties are there.

    that’s the thing….no matter how many people i have met…there really was no one with the characteristics that really “get” and can deal with my sometimes over the top scorp behavior….but him.

    then the fact that he completely made me a part of his life….then just shut me out…well, that of course drives me nuts.

    and i never told him how i really felt…. 🙁

    anyway….so i heard down the wire that he was really strange and not in party fest mode last night. good because i posted a pic of myself with the girls out!

    anyway….yeah…..this is bs….time to move on…i’m glad i wrote that slightly pissed off msg…that is me and either he can deal with it or not….and if not…well then oh well right!

    it just would have been nice to hear from him just exactly why he has gone into this completely opposite behavior…

    anyway….your comments were appreciated!

    oh..and of course the married part also means taking a pro-active decision….the fact that i live in europe half the time sort of makes a huge statement…but i guess one step at a time….

    i just always had to ask myself…”why was i presented with this person that was exactly the person that i always dreamed of…and thought did not exist?”…but then i walked away… and now he won’t let me back in….but then again…he never knew i felt this way.

    ah well…..things happen for a reason i suppose…

    i just wanted some closure on this…and face to face so that someday i do not look back with the “what if i told him how much he did mean to me and how much everything that he did for me before really meant to me”…..except now I cover everything in the friendship clould…

    anyway…happy sunday

  22. Anonymous says:

    follow up to the above….so i did sent the msg that “i was alot upset that he could not pick up the phone and dial if msgs are not getting sent”….i did not care if i sounded over the top, esp. because i have not seen him in a long time…

    i decided…he either can still deal with me, the way i am, or not.

    well…when i sent a btw i sent a msg to one of his friends, who is friends with like 8 of my friends because i wanted to know what was going on in his city…

    my dear little cancer, immediately responded and said that he could give him a call if i wanted him to (this friend has a fiancee…so there is nothing romantic linked here).

    so i tell him he is behaving like an idiot, he calls me. i tell him i am “alot upset and if and when he is not busy, hopefully i will be around” he offers to call his friend to help me out when i sent a short btw message (i just did not want him to hear about that in any misunderstanding or wrong way).

    sooo confusing…just points what a kind person he is…but when i emphasized the friendship part no answer for over 1 yr ( I actually wrote a pissed off email about that too)….then when i show emotion such as this….he responds and quickly!

    so confused…not sure what to do? the question is despite our extremely deep connection and all the time spent last year….he still does not know my true feelings about him being everything that i want in a man…

    next steps???

  23. Anonymous says:

    follow up to the above….so i did sent the msg that “i was alot upset that he could not pick up the phone and dial if msgs are not getting sent”….i did not care if i sounded over the top, esp. because i have not seen him in a long time…

    i decided…he either can still deal with me, the way i am, or not.

    well…when i sent a btw i sent a msg to one of his friends, who is friends with like 8 of my friends because i wanted to know what was going on in his city…

    my dear little cancer, immediately responded and said that he could give him a call if i wanted him to (this friend has a fiancee…so there is nothing romantic linked here).

    so i tell him he is behaving like an idiot, he calls me. i tell him i am “alot upset and if and when he is not busy, hopefully i will be around” he offers to call his friend to help me out when i sent a short btw message (i just did not want him to hear about that in any misunderstanding or wrong way).

    sooo confusing…just points what a kind person he is…but when i emphasized the friendship part no answer for over 1 yr ( I actually wrote a pissed off email about that too)….then when i show emotion such as this….he responds and quickly!

    so confused…not sure what to do? the question is despite our extremely deep connection and all the time spent last year….he still does not know my true feelings about him being everything that i want in a man…

    next steps???

  24. i just recently found this website and i am in love with it. i am a mysterious, intense, passionate scorpio girl who has fallen head over heals for this cancer guy. its been over a month of hot and heavy desire for eachother. ive spent over night at his parents house i stayed at his fam for rosh hashanah, everyone loves me he cant get enough i feel like im falling in love with him because i just feel so comfortable and compatable with him….its almost tooooo good to be true..
    a couple days later i recieve a text message he doesnt want anything to do with me now he realizes i’m “milking him for stuff”…the guys takin me out for a whopping 2 meals im so hurt as to why he feels that way..he wants nothing to do with me…. is this some guy excuse to blow me off? did i really UNINTENTIONALLY hurt this crab who i want to give my heart to???? i dont understand and ive never felt so down over a guy…

    i sent him text messages…doesnt really want to give me the time of day? do i give it the 2 weeks or leave it be???

    -super scorp

  25. Why the f*** [profanity removed by Editor] would you be proud of being colder than an iceberg? Scorpio’s suck!

  26. gah! it’s just terrible what these cancer males do to us scorpio females!
    (i’ve got it bad for a cancer)

  27. To the “Scorpio woman with the nonspeaking Cancer friend”:

    I’m a Scorpio woman and have had some experience with a Cancer man. I understand how maddeningly confusing he can be at times. I read this thread some time ago before, and I wasn’t sure what to think, but now after reading it again, and paying attention to your last posts, I think I’m seeing something here.

    (and I’m having a bit of an epiphany of sorts myself.)

    It is occurring to me that your Cancer really wants to be with you, more than you know *as a couple* but he resents your aloofness and unavailability. He feels that he feels a much deeper desire (or perhaps need) to be with you than any you could possibly feel for him, or make enough time for him for, or understand him and coddle his emotional needs enough.

    I believe this is the reason for the long silence when you were so cool and comfy being “just friends” in spite of all the deep emotions. This would also explain why whenever you get mad at his distance, you get some sort of response from him (because he is waiting to see you come from behind the “all-powerful-cool-don’t-REALLY-NEED-anyone Scorpio wall” and show vulnerability and attachment to him. Because once you’re inside his shell, he’s VERY vulnerable and emotionally needy, and he can’t think of letting you get close without feeling secure.

    It’s very frustrating for a Scorpio woman because we like and respect a powerful man who knows what he wants, and who, if we are important to him, will go out on a limb and show us that he has to have us.

    I mean if a man is really into us, then he’ll pursue and let us know, right?

    Well, I’m honestly starting to believe that the Cancer man just might be the exception to that rule. Inside, Cancer is a big very tentative baby. He does not make bold first moves. They are very subtle, and then he watches to see what you’ll do to make him feel safe to advance further. Cancer manipulates and nonchalantly runs little circles around and away from what he wants, teasing and dismissing in order to urge it to action.

    And then he’s frustrated and angry with you when you don’t take the bait. He probably feels resentful that there is such a deep connection, but we seem to be taking it too lightly because we stay aloof and reserve our independence to do our own thing and have other people and activities. Strong Scorpio is too busy playing it cool and doing her own thing to bother taking good care of me and my emotions!

    Sometimes I think Scorpio just doesn’t show enough emotion for the Cancer man.

    So he acts out: Fine. Do your thing and be aloof. Oh, you just *happen* to want to come into town to “enjoy the last days of summer” – not because you specifically miss *me* or anything? Ok, well then… no, I don’t think I’ll be available, instead my *female* friend will be here (so how do you like that? but of course that shouldn’t bother you since you’re really only coming *primarily* for the weather).

    Maybe there is a girl. Maybe there isn’t one. But he probably wouldn’t see the need to look for another if he felt emotionally engaged and secure with you.

    He may feel:

    “Oh, you need to contact my friend to know what’s going on in *my* city? If it’s all about what’s going on in my city and not so much about me, then I’m upset because I feel you should want me more and be thinking about me more, and show that to me more. Ok, let me reach out *in an impersonal way* and offer to help her *get in touch with my friend* then, so she can find out “what’s going on in my town” (and hopefully piss her off, which might mean she’s missing me as much as I miss her but can’t tell her).

    It’s ridiculous. I’ve been there. And sometimes Cancer seems like he wants too much. It’s like what, do I need to humble myself so much as to bow down and kiss your feet, my dear Cancer? But to be truthful, we do have a strong, reserved (somewhat aloof) manner, albeit very kind. I wonder if that is felt to be intimidating and a smack in the face to sensitive, clingy Cancer who cannot afford to cling to our aloofness.

    They really are sooo soft and sweet, and tender, that I think he’d probably like to be sure he can get the intimate emotional honesty he feels he needs to open up and let you into his shell. They seem to so easily get their feelings hurt, and to become moody (the moon changes often).

    He probably put you out of his shell when he felt you were too unavailable to him, and was insulted and hurt that you only wanted to be friends after all the closeness, and even after being with his family (which I believe is probably kinda sacred for Cancer)

    So then he may have freezed you out because he couldn’t handle being around or with you that way. And until you really show him your commitment and love for him, he’s probably not comfortable letting you get close. And the more you run around acting like he’s an afterthought, the more he will dismiss you. But when you get upset and act like you might really want him, then he calls because now he’s got your attention and he’s probably waiting to hear more that will pull him closer, not for you to be casually aloof again.

    You keep pointing out that you haven’t told him how you really feel about him, and that you feel uncomfortable letting this pass and forever wondering “What if…”. I think now might be the time to start opening up.

    I think that perhaps too many games are being played, and I don’t know it’s a good idea to go into a relationship that plays these games, but there seems to be a very real connection here, so I suppose that if you two are both serious, in the end you will probably have what it takes to get past it together, and to commit to communicating more openly.

    I think that if you can take care of your divorce situation, and if you really want a chance to see what can happen with this guy, someone’s going to have to stop the games. Feeling as vulnerable as he probably does with you means he’s all the more scared to let you into his shell right now without assurances.

    Scorpio is the stronger one to at least start making it safe for him to pursue by taking down the “wall of secrecy” about your feelings – maybe not spill all the beans at once, but help him know that’s where you’re going in your mind and emotionally, and then let him pursue in his cautious Cancerian way. (Well there goes that dashing Knight on a white horse pursuing you determinedly and sweeping you off your feet dream… but for what it’s worth, perhaps no one knows better how to care for the Scorpio heart than a Cancer once we get “in” and *stay* in – once we earn and keep their trust by helping them feel secure with us.)

    If you do get together, I do however wonder if you won’t experience something of a passive-aggression going on with him, and nonchalant, no-nonsense I-can-take-you-or-leave-you-if-you-want-to-be-that-way attitude from you at times. Relationships often force us to examine ourselves, our own issues.

    I think you two will have to talk about both of you finding a way somehow to communicate more transparently – more honestly and more vulnerably – with each other if you want to make a relationship work and last. (This could require both of you to examine your own trust and other issues.)

    Good luck. Let us know how it works out.

    Best,

    SpiritFREE1

  28. In reviewing my above comment, I feel one of my statements could seem a bit brash (not surprisingly – I’m Scorpio, Aries rising, but I’m working at articulating my insights and feelings, and communicating them more clearly as well as sensitively).

    Therefore I’d like to apologize and clarify. When I said, “Inside, Cancer is a big very tentative baby,” it was not intended to insult or offend. Rather it was meant in a more compassionate way – one that acknowledged their extreme sensitivity to feeling pain and to others.

    It actually came from an understanding of and an empathy towards Cancer’s tentativeness about taking risks they fear might open them to painful emotional injury. It was meant with a sort of endearing acceptance of the tender quality of vulnerability and sweetness that we often recognize and adore in babies.

    I’d imagine we’ve all had our own “big baby” moments at one time or another – both the sweet, innocent ones, and the conflicted, frustrated, cranky ones. I know I have.

    So I apologize in advance if I’ve offended any Cancers out there. I do love you guys (and girls, platonically).

  29. Another statement I made might also be worth clarifying:

    “…we like and respect a powerful man who knows what he wants, and who, if we are important to him, will go out on a limb and show us that he has to have us.”

    Firstly, we (at least I) respect honesty, integrity, reciprocity and a high standard of behavior. So when I say we respect a “powerful” man, I do not mean powerful in terms of “show” or control of others, but rather in terms of inner strength/integrity, resolve, responsibility and respect for others.

    Therefore, when I refer to a man who will go out on a limb and show us he has to have us, I do not mean this in any obsessive way that violates boundaries or dominates because he simply *has to have* us.

    Rather, I refer to a man who shows integrity by being forthcoming, responsible and self-controlled (one whose work is with mastering himself) – one who shows that he sees value in us, and wants to care for us properly – one who aims to show us that he will do his best to do so. One to whom we can turn our attention and efforts, appreciating his integrity and value, and as such invest our Scorpionic will in believing in him, encouraging him and working with him to build up both of ourselves and our vision.

  30. To the “Scorpio woman with the non-speaking friend”:

    Upon further reflection, I have a concern, and I don’t want to encourage without bringing some things to light for your consideration. You didn’t seem to indicate feeling any sense of ambivalence, disorientation or danger with him, so I assumed that only his signals were frustratingly confusing, and I made some allowances for him feeling vulnerable and shy (only *some* allowances though, because once you make it clear that you have more than platonic feelings for him, he’s going to need to be able to bring himself to deal with you more equitably if he would like you to consider a relationship with him).

    It should be noted that people born under every sign are at different levels of evolution, and therefore manifest more of the lower characteristics or the higher characteristics of their sign. I don’t know where your Cancer is on the scale. Before you decide for sure that he is the man for you (or the man for you *right now*), I wonder if you have had a chance to get any idea? You didn’t seem alarmed, but what is your sense? Is it all clear or are you a bit uneasy about anything?

    1. While his behavior could have been shy and retreating simply not knowing what to think of your interest level and wanting to be sure before he felt comfortable speaking too much with you because he feels you’re too close. So he may have been doing the cautious crab thing trying to coax you out of your hole, so he could feel you out and figure out how you really feel about him, uncomfortable dealing with you until he’s sure. (which is not exactly the best way to go about things, but people will have some quirky ways).

    But what concerns me more is that it also could have had an angry tone underneath it, not just a cautious one.

    2. Now if he was a little frustrated because he *knew* you were withholding your true feelings and brushing him off, I can understand him being annoyed, and feeling perhaps that if you couldn’t be honest and forthcoming with him, he’s not sure he can trust you to be someone who could take care of his feelings. And maybe he’s trying to give you “opportunities” to get mad and finally tell him how you feel. (Again not the greatest… the games people play – sometimes almost unconsciously)

    3. BUT if he doesn’t know that you want to be with him, and he’s *angry and resentful* that you only want to be friends, and is actually trying to upset you to *retaliate* for only being able to be friends with him (which may not be the case), then you might be looking at one vindictive Cancer. If he’s *angry and resentful* and trying to *manipulate* you into believing that he won’t speak to you unless he gets a certain type of response – keeping you on a string, then you might be looking at an angry, controlling Cancer. If these are the case, then I’d be concerned that this could grow and manifest in unhealthy (read ‘harmful’) ways down the line.

    I don’t claim to be any sort of Cancer expert, but I’m wondering if maybe the first two scenarios might be relatively normal, non-problematic and indicative of Cancers who are more evolved, and the third scenario indicative of an unevolved Cancer? (I was reading another comment earlier by a healthy-sounding Cancer male in a balanced Cancer-Scorpio relationship.) Perhaps some Cancers out there can give some perspective on this??

    It just occurred to me that I thought I read that your friend said he felt darkness that you seemed to melt away… or he was in a dark place that you made bright. Well that’s really something to think about. If a man has darkness in his soul that he does not know what to do with and expects you to be the one who always makes his own darkness go away, then when normal challenges arise, you might be seen to be contributing to the darkness. And if his darkness is real darkness and you have an angry, controlling, vindictive man, at some point you will begin to *feel* his darkness.

    As I noted earlier, there seem to be traces of passive-aggressiveness there. If so, I don’t know how serious it is. Just know that I’ve looked into P-A online in forums, and it has torn some couples lives apart.

    You’ll have to check your comfort level and be the judge of the above matters. It might help to look at your charts and houses. Maybe Jeffrey can help? There are also lots of computer-generated reports out there that when examined together, can shed a lot of light on your relationship, but I doubt the appropriateness of specifically referring them here.

    I’d take it slow because the Cancer-Scorpio connection can be so emotional and deep you don’t even have to have sex to touch a nerve. Keep your Scorpio antennae up to figure out what you sense is going on and how much character he has. If you think it’s worth approaching him and cutting through that smokescreen by sharing some of your feelings, then…

    If after you are honest with him about your feelings, and after you talk with him about communicating better with you (that you will try to be mindful of his moods, but that even if you seem a bit reserved, it’s really only your manner and that you really feel a lot for him – to try not to take it personally, but to please tell you if he’s feeling alienated so you can clarify your intentions and give reassurance, because you really do care, and that he should not expect you to read and respond to subtle hints and confusing double-agendas)…

    If after this, he ditches you, let him be gone. if it’s meant to work out down the line, then it will under better circumstances.

    Or if you experience more of this type of behavior even now in the early stages when he should clearly *want* to try to accommodate you and work at seeing if you can get off on the right foot, then while you might want to remain warm, kind and approachable, letting him know you really do care, but also think about telling him you need to step back a little, until he’s ready and able to work at being more cooperative with you. That it is not because you are mad at him – nothing personal against him – but that it will be absolutely necessary if you two are even going to have a chance to make something healthy work.

    If you’re sensitive enough towards him and important enough, he should make the effort if he thinks he can hack it (albeit perhaps in a bit more of a subtle way than others). Just make sure you feel respected.

    If he wants something more in terms of how you communicate sensitivity to him, it’s not fair for you to have to be running around in circles behind him repeatedly – he will have to eventually come to a place where he’s willing to at least try to articulate his feelings to you. If he can’t, (because some people can’t do that very well) then that might be fine too if he’s at least willing to work with you, level with you and look at doing something about it. (Most people have some type of issues. That is what therapy is for.)

    Try to be understanding and sensitive, but be clear about your feelings and intentions, and don’t let him mistake your strength for weakness.

    Hope this helps round it out some.

  31. Dear Spirit Free,

    Thank you soooo much for your responses…..ironically enough, during these dates where you posted the responses, I was trying to access this new format and would have loved to have read your comments! I am happy however, that maybe some of the things that have passed are as they should be…at least for now….so here is an update, and I would appreciate your feedback/advice/intrepretation!

    So I went back again, after much time to think about what I really wanted to do, both with my non-speaking friend and my marriage. I made certain decisions that kept each one separate from the other.

    I decided that although I felt that my non speaking friend was everything that I ever wanted in a partner, I had not really spoken to him or spent time with him since last year….and my estranged husband was giving me the space that I needed….but I really felt that regardless of whether or not I spoke to my friend, my husband and I despite all the years of time together where just no longer good able to bring the best out of each other and that maybe intrinsically we were just wired differently.

    So I went to my friend’s city and called him again….he actually responded. He told me to come over and watch the huge game with his father and his’ father’s friends. Then he said, maybe we should just watch it with our circle of (younger friends), but when i arrived he decided we should just stay with the father’s friends..so it was us and his father’s friends and their wives….talk about being under the microscope!!! but…all was well and afterwards we ended up catching up for about 3 1/2 hours about everything, the past year, why he did not talk to me for so long (he said that I reached a point where I was just pushing for an answer and he could not give it to me….and the more that i pushed the more that I closed off)…makes sense!

    But that he has the ability to just shut himself off was not something that i really realized before. Sort of as a side note, I met this girl, who grew up with him, and is a good friend of one of my best friends in another city…she told me that he always just goes off in his “own little world…and that he never calls females or brings them around with him…only his girlfriends”. ….so although last year, I saw the very social side of him, I did not really realize just how private of a person he is….because he involved me in every part of his life….but that was because we just fit…..we have some much in common and at the end of the day, emotionally, we just understand and connect with each other.

    In our catch up talk, he told me that his ex-girlfriend wanted to get back together, but that although she broke his heart, he did not think that they would work out because they wanted different things. There was also another new girl and when I asked how that was going he said he did not think that would work either…We talked about where I was in my decision with my marriage…we talked just as best friends do.

    Then the next afternoon he picked me up and we went to see the new horses. At the stables everyone was commenting on how it was great that I was back because his best riding was when I was there last year and that maybe now he would start again….Of course, comments were made left and right about how great it was that I was back and that he was back again too.

    Then he just planning things for us to do for the next few days, the horses, sailing, setting up someone for me to play tennis with, etc….

    then he drops the biggest surprise….he says, “and I think we should go by my mother’s atelier….it is a project that she has taken up again and I think you would really like it ( it was an antique book restoration workshop and all these amazing handmade artisanry book and writing productions)
    which is something about me that we never really talked about – most of all of our common hobby loves are about horses, ocean-water sports, and sports…but the writing and books is another side of me that is also really me…see….he gets me and understands me without really even knowing…he knows….

    This latest one floored me….and also was a little different because although I spent time with his father, father’s girlfriend, his brothers, cousins, childhood friends…etc…this is his mother.
    footnote to this…his mother and father separated when he was 18 so I think that this and his 1st serious girlfriend breaking his heart has someone really deeply affected him.

    it was as though the past year never happened. On the way to the stables he kept talking about how he did not think he was ready for a relationship, that he found his “equilibrium without having a girlfriend in the picture…and that putting someone new into the mix unbalanced the equation”….but I never asked him why or why not he was not serious with someone! but I understood that he was in a place where he was happy (altho he said that of course I have been happier, right now I am in a place where I have found this balance and am at peace with myself)….so although this guy knows like everyone in so many places, cities and countries…he is in this quieter state of mind….which is exactly what I have been doing for the past 2 months….finding a balance and peaceful state of mind and being in my head (I went to the middle of nowhere for about 2 weeks before just seeing him now and it was exactly what I needed).

    Then, I saw though that after the stables he was extremely confused. We were both so happy at the stables and I said something about “just how perfect everything was”….he agreed and said that that was the key, “keeping the equiibrium”…that is the thing…everything about our lives just fits and makes sense.

    Then he kept talking about how things in a relationship need to be natural and normal, that things should not need to be forced…..which of course I agreed on….but he was extremely contemplative on the drive back….I could see his confusion, but I let me pride and vanity get the better of me…sort of as payback for him not speaking to me for so long and being ok with that.

    Then, the next day, he took me to his mother’s store. When he picked me up was definitely disconcerted…he even called my other cell phone and when I asked why, he said, “I’m a mess”….of course, i still prentended not to know why. Then when we had lunch he went on and on about how things needed to grow step by step so that you build a foundation for things to last throughout the years and time and that you have a solid foundation…..we were talking about business 🙂

    of course I absolutely fell in love with the shop and the work ….his mom is amazing and an absolute little dynamo – completely different than I imagined her…I thought she would be very tall, more aloof, like him (he’s like 6″2″ 3….she is actually small like me – 5’2” – 3″….and a SCORPIO!!! ahgaaahahaha..

    anyway….it was great….yet one more sign that said, “yes, this is the person for you”.

    So here we are once again, spending everyday together…except he was visibly confused and I let him be and pretended to not understand why……so I decided that I would finally tell him the next day….

    Then he cancelled our plans to see each other and said he needed to just stay home….then the next day he told me he was going to go out of town (to the city where his ex girlfriend and the new girl lived!!!!)….completely out of the blue….he does not just leave in the middle of the week!!! eventhough it is his own company, he usually does not do this…just get up and go…that is ME!

    so when I told him to stop by my hotel to say goodbye to me since I was leaving at the end of the week, he said “No…it is late now”. next time.
    I literally felt like he was running away from me and running to them. Surely, either if not both of the girls heard that I was back in town and that we were going around and spending time together again…

    they unfortunately have the physical female advantage with him because I had still never even flirted with him or let him know that I thought he was desirable….and now he would not say good bye to me! after planning things for us to do, things to make me happy…he just left…and pulled a me!

    So then eventhough I was going to leave, luckily I did have some unfinished business matters that I had not taken care of (so I could justify coming back) and I went off to a nearby island…

  32. But before I left….I FINALLY wrote him a letter and told him how I really felt. I also told him that I hoped that no matter what, he would always remember that he was my best friend there and that was something that I never wanted to change….then I told him that no matter where I went in the world, I had never met anyone that I felt was perfect for me, until him.

    There…it was out….that everything was just normal and natural…as it should be…but that if I was mistaken, that I hope that he would not change our friendship.

    It took me 4 days to let him know that I left it at his place! So I sat on this island and spending time just writing and observing things, people, etc….the little things in life that so often we do not get a chance to do…
    then he called me….to let me know that he read my letter.

    He was sooooo happy and sounded sooooo sweet….He asked me why I changed my plans and did not really leave…I did not really answered othe r than…I just changed my mind.

    So he asked me when I was coming back (I was only about an hour away)…I said tomorrow….so he told me to call him when I got back to town….

    So I returned Fri afternoon but was busy with business stuff, and chicken too! But sent him an sms Fri evening.
    No answer.

    Ok, so sat early evening called no answer. So then I just called a friend, the one who introduced us, the verifiable playboy just back from NY and London and said I wanted to go out.

    What did he think I would just sit in my hotel?! So the other friend said he would pick me up after our dinners since we both already had dinner plans.

    But hello?! He did not come pick me up! Now I was really mad.

    So I sent an sms to my “speaking to me again friend” asking him if he was with the other friend and if so, to just forget everything I wrote and why can we just not all go out as one big happy group?

    Good huh? Um not!

    So Sunday lunch, I call Mr. Cancer because what the hell?! I came back for him and now he is wshimping out. He was having lunch with dad, then going to mom so he was not even going to watch Sunday soccer with everyone. His mom’s shop has an upcoming show or exhibit in London so of course I said if he needed help to let me know. He totally ignored my mean sms the night before. Maybe he was busy with work since he has a great deal of responsibility, but pick up the phone and say bye!

    I told him I was leaving the next day- but here is where my change my dates fails me! If he could stop by and say bye. he did not!

    Now I am super mad. He did his super happy so sweet I want to see you to not talking to me.

    Then it occurs to me, he is completely scared of me, of us.

    He was very hurt with the breakup from his long relationship that ended about 2 1/2 yrs ago. Even if she wanted him back, he said he knows they do not work.

    But now the other week he said to me that starting a new relation was scary.

    I remember how he had that super scared little boy face and he is like 6’2! He is extremely serious But I. Realize his fear because he and I would never be a casual thing.

    So I wrote him an email after I left on Monday saying exactly that, I realize you are scared, but who is not scared?

    I told him he did not have to be afraid of me because no matter what happens or does not happen he will always be my treasured and dear friend.

    That I have never met anyone like him and believe that he feels the same about me and that even on the friendship level we must value that and that means picking up the phone to say bye.

    I told him that I would never take back what I wrote in the letter.
    I said that I realized he was not yet ready to see me but that he should at least write if he cannot tell me.

    In a way, I guess it is best because we both also know I must truly decide and take care of my marriage situation once and for all, because it is the right thing to do.

    My dearest Cancer boy is also extremely proper like that but despite his maturity about most things in life, in relationships- a true one, he is an absolute chicken. I also did not realize until this trip just how private of a person he is-as everyone tells me! Because he has always bee so open with me, so his opening himself

    And sharing his family again was a big thing.
    So of course, the idea of being hurt is huge to him.

    so, some progress, but not too much.

    But I also do know he is not going anywhere and that he does care very deeply for me.

    So I must make my world right and hopefully in the interim the ex does not use her feminine ways since everyone has that advantage on me!

    Still have never flirted with him or kissed him! Which, when you have girls vying for you left and right is something to contend with.

    But…. I have to just have faith that things will be as they need to be. Of course all my nostalgia and years with my husband make me often question things.

    But I really do think he is the one for me. He even said that last year I was “obsessive with my demand for getting an answer from him”…but that obsession was good because every successful person had to be obsessive in order for their profession, career, business to be succesful….He actually takes me sometimes over the top scorp behavior and extremes and just knows how to deal with it.

    He is one of the most understanding and sanguine old souls that I have come across….He makes me feel safe and taken cared of…without the feeling of being controlled… My own husband is much more manipulative with his passive agressive reactions and attitude, he understands how I am…and just accepts it…but does not really get me….

    My dearest treasured friend understands how to deal with me….and just simply gets me….He is also so incredibly humble. He is that strong silent person that people describe….but he does have his own fears and insecurities of course!

    But despite all of these re-affirmations, I do know that you cannot just walk away…so I will go back and try one last time with my husband…and now…truly know that I did everything that I could….and that if things are meant to be…they will work out.

    Like you said, we have never even kissed and yet it is just something that “you know”…..he and I both need to deal with our own personal issues, because I know that if and when we do manage to make it back to each other…it will be for the long run and not a casual fling. We both know this.

    But hopefully not too much time will pass. He still has not answered me again now…but I am not completely worried because I know that he is a person that it does not mean he has gone out and taken up with just any other person…..he himself kept saying that relationships now (at this stage in our lives) take alot of consideration…you can’t just start something with someone like when we were younger…there are alot of things to consider.

    Although I have seen a much more serious side to him, I am very happy, because although he is younger than me by about 7 years!!!! I am in my late 30s and he is early 30s. ….because of all the business and family responsibilities he is even by far more mature at his age than my estranged husband is at 40.

    However…..his stubborness is definitely something to contend him….but it is just his self-preservation…..his protection. That was what was so strange for me to understand, since he opened himself and his family and close circle to me before and again now…how he could just shut himself off….but at least I understand it better now…and even moreso that he is so open with me, it makes a huger statement….

    So now….I will give him space and let him deal and I will deal with my own issues….the question is….do I send him an email/sms/voice message in the next few weeks, especially with xmas coming up….or just wait until I am truly ready to begin again?.

    and what is your interpretation of his actions…and running back to his shell??

    Thanks soooo much for your advice!

    So, I will put things together and see where they end up!

    Your advice and take on this?

  33. one more footnote….when I said that my Cancer boy got me…I know that it can be difficult…as in when your partner, girlfriend just takes off…goes halfway around the world and has a life in both places…that is alot for anyone to take…..

  34. So what happened since mc?

    Interesting story

  35. well….the holidays passed…..which luckily keeps you busy!!

    i included him in a mass mailing xmas greeting….no response of course…then i sent him an sms wishing him merry xmas and happy new year…no response….he is yet again back in his shell and not responding to the world, including me….is it including his past ex’s???? have no clue.
    ….and i am too proud to ask our common friends or his brothers!

    kept myself busy, went on two trips during the holidays….and made sure he heard about them through the grapevine!

    tried again with my estranged husband….and of course..the same bs even before the holidays….same issues…nothing has changed….bla bla bla…
    i have finally come to the realization, as much as it deeply saddens me that he will not change…and I cannot deal with, live with nor deserve these “issues” or nonsense or partying or priorities anymore..

    anyway….something was bothering me…his mother joined facebook and lo and behold his two ex’s added into her network.

    i am so tempted to write her/connect to her….so that she can see my “world”….and also because i do have a couple of things that i would like to ask her about (completely unrelated to he and i….but something that she owns that would be helpful to me).

    just yesterday i had a lovely email from his brother.

    but i was thinking that i should wait until the next time that i am in their city (next month)….

    then today…he actually wrote something to the general public (he RARELY ever writes anything) 300+ people have all connected TO him…he connects to no one….i kid you not!!

    anyway….so he wrote that he “was sad”……WHAT??!!!! now his little playboy friends would write that just as a joke to see how many girl responses they would receive…but he RARELY ever writes anything….so something must be amiss!!!

    so despite my vow (and that i was in the process of writing him a pissed off/disappointed in you email)….not to speak to him until i am there in person….i of course wrote a brief, “what is wrong? family? horses? girlfriend?

    and of course….NO ANSWER….

    then i saw that he erased his comment ….and of course….went back into hiding….

    so strange because he can be the MOST social guy and knows everyone…

    but i feel like i need to let him know that whether or not we are just friends or more, it is hurtful that i put my soul/heart out on the line…and i was truly honest with someone on such a personal level – something i RARELY ever do….and he just shut me out again….

    even if he does not want us to “be together”….this type of behavior is ok when you are 5 or even 15….not now….

    but i do feel bad that something is making him sad….sad enough to write that to the general public….

    so that is where we are at….sorry not so enlightening… 🙁 any advice?

  36. Wow, what an interesting story.

    I think that female Scorpio’s are so sweet when they fall for mad Cancers.

    But I have to say, every time I see in the papers or on TV some wonderful, passionate, madly in love, long lasting relashionships, half of the time it turns out it is Scorpio and Cancer! It looks like that, when they finally get togehter, it is heavenly and magical. But, they have to get together first, hehe….

  37. Cancer is my favorite sign for a guy, but I hate how this one guy I like has a venus in gemini :\

  38. Facebook User says:

    haven’t gotten to finish reading your email…b3

  39. DivaScorpio says:

    Ok a Cancer man (July 17 b-day) dumped and said he doesnt see how we can work it out. we are oil & water. We have different views but generally got along…i asked him again in june for one more try he said no and i have not heard from him. Is that it? I mean he was really in love with me. Be honest with me.

  40. LibraLady says:

    DivaScorpio
    What is he crazy? Well if he can’t see that he needs you ( because he does) Loved you…Well if he loved you then I’d be willing to bet that he still loves you. You must have showed him that you are stronger then him and it scared him. If you really want him back, youre going to need to knock his socks off, there is one thing Cancer boys can’t resist loving, if you become friends with his Mother (if he has one) or become motherly toward him, youll never be able to shake those pinchers off LOL
    I have a Cancer son, we are so close that he tells me exactly what he likes about girls, I just smile and listen, then he starts to ask me what I think about her, or her or her……If I tell him that I think shes sweet or smart or anything positive, he likes her even more now (hes only 15) its funny, Cancer men are so addicted to Scorpio women, if you can just manage to get under his skin one more time, he will be so attached to you. Oh BTW they all seem to have this doubt, its like “I love her but she cant possibly love me so I will go now” if they know that you have feelings for them it makes a huge difference. (I was raised by a Scorpio mother and Cancer father) Ive watched the water dance for years, they were together 40 years, it was beautiful, you probably know deep down, there is no stronger relationship in the world a Cancer/Scorpio bond is forever.

  41. DivaScorpio says:

    Thanks for the response! I do hope you are right. Its been a month and I have not heard from him. When I did email him (a month ago) he said thanks for emailing him and was short. He didnt even ask how I was doing. I am really questioning if he really loved me.

    His mom passed away and when we were together I was motherly to him. I cooked him a meak for valentines day and he was so happy b/c he travels a lot and does not get home cooked meals.

    I know i should probably move on but its something about that cancer man. I hope the stars have one more chance for us.

  42. ScorpioStar says:

    overall does cancer and scorpio work?

  43. Scorp crazy for 69 says:

    I dated a cancer guy for 4 years …we got along great and then one fine day she just started behaving aloof …I thght this is one of his mod swings and left him alone…The next thing I realized was he telling me he is ready to get married with someone else …

    One problem was I was separated from my ex-husband when we were dating …and the Cancer guy knew me for 3 years as a friend before we started dating…We have a lot of things in common ..We still talk to each other today even though he is getting married to someone …and I still love him but cant share him with someone …When I ask him y he still wants to keep talking to me there is no answer from his side..

    Any suggestions what I should do ?? I cant live without him in my life either …he has and does complete me in all respects …Please comment

  44. ugh…he came back and dumped me again…this time he said he was meant to be an “old bachelor” WTF does that mean…well i may be done with this cancer male!

  45. All of these posts are so interesting. I’ve been seeing a Cancer male and he has been driving me nuts. The sexual attaction between us in intense and we really like each other, but he gets scared so easily and retreats completely. I mean, completely disappears. I get worried, angry, pissed, … you know how it is …. try to confront him and he retreats even further. I don’t want to let go, but another part of me can’t stand the fickleness. ugh.

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