Bravo!

I’m quickly learning that I have to make sure my new Cap man KNOWS that I’m at the top of the tree from the start here, and it is HIS job to climb up for me. If he’s too afraid of falling, well then he can just keep eating bad apples the rest of his life.

How da’ya like dem apples?

Women are like the apples on the trees. The best ones are at the top of the tress. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones, because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that are not as good but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in reality they are amazing! They have to wait for the right guy to come along. The one who is brave enough to climb to the top of the tree!

I am glad that you are moving on as painful as it is…I am trying too. None of us deserves to be pulled in a zillion dirrferent directions like we are yo-yo’s. They will feel the regret once they see we have moved on and are happy with ourselves or with someone else. It is funny, not sure if you read horoscopes or not( I am a horoscope junkie), but Susan Miller has a great monthly horoscope and the one for capricorn in December and January is very interesting as it touches on the eclipses we recently had on 12/31 and 1/15. It says a lot about change and what not. Just food for thought. mine starting getting distant in December too and a lot of it was due to work related stress. Caps are funny, if one leg gets kicked out from under them they might as well fall on their butt because they don’t like to lean on anyone. They also can’t handle anything else in their lives when work or other stress factors are involved. That is when they push the important people that are there for them away. Go figure…

In the beginning i did not take him seriously. we were just friends again. He was going through things and so was I. Unexpectantly, we bonded….i still cant see how that happend cause we didn’t take it there for a long time. It was very natural. We are also long distance now but we visited each other. It started changing in Dec during my birthday. It was a coulple days after he got this new job.

You know it very well could have been his job but my instincts told me differently. it’s like he just vanished stop calling, texting, communicating for over 2-3 weeks. I just couldn’t understand it. that went on for two months. After we got through that, my trust alerts started going off and the more i clung on the more he pulled. He always said “be patient” “it’s going to be alright”,etc but just little stuff that made me feel insecure. mostly because he would not talk to me. I looked at my phone bill for one month we talked about 50 minutes altogether.

But just recently he has called me (again) and we do talk but i feel so abandoned by him. I’m scared of my feelings towards him. I don’t want to get played because i pay attention to his actions, not just his words. And he’s long distance so there could be someone else. So for now we talk but i can’t allow myself to go there. I condition my self for the worse although i still love him. Ill miss him greatly but not unless i SEE some drastic change….im moving on. This site has helped me vent so that makes it easier.

Girl we sound like two kindred sisters. just reading your story is like holding up a doggone mirror….except the engaged stuff. You have to go back and read my posting for most recent junk….but anyway. Me and my cap met back in elementary school. I moved away before we really got to be girlfriend and boyfriend. We used to hang out and play at the center. and even now when i think back, i always had to good feeling with him. Never wanting to be away from him. but at the same time we could sit and practically do nothing and I still had fun being near him.

Throughout time, i left and came back but either he was away or i had to leave, we never connected in that way again. But last year when i was going through some “stuff” of mine. I get a call from one of my cousins telling me how my cap had been asking about me for years and years, then she said she told him i was on facebook and if he wanted to see how i was doing, he could see for himself. of course i didn’t think anything of it but about a month later. I get a message and it was him. he went on and on about missing me, never forgetting me, how he was so sad after i left for such a long time. how he missed me and that he asked about me for years and years. you know i thought he was lying right.

Anyway to make a long story short. This guy has been there for me when i needed someone the most at the time i needed it. Like he was a gift from heaven. Although it took a while for us to warm up to each other, i can honestly say i have never experienced anyone like him before. It blows my mind how i have always been this strong independent woman who took a long time to trust and open up to someone to a woman who when around this man makes her want to give, give, give. That’s scary. That’s the part that makes it hard to move on.

although i have memories of us as kids….we are adults now and i feel like there’s alot of communication and fear between us both but after my life experiences, i can’t go back to settling and doing all the work in the relationship anymore. and you can’t force someone to love you the way you want them to.

when are you guys getting married?

@scorpbeauty:
Yeah, I saw your comment about the Virgo, I sure understand, been there they are draining, in fact I was always back and forth with the Virgo and the Capricorn boyfriend, so you know my energy was gone.

My birthday is 12/14/78 and his is 1/2/78, How we got together was kind of a shocker because I was never attracted to him in that way and he never showed any signs of being attracted to me either. We were like brother and sister growing up and we even went to our senior prom together because both of us were dating people that were out of high school. We always kept in touch and remained best friends for all these years even after we both had our own relationships and children with other people. In 2008 I was going through a divorce that’s when my cappy spilled his guts. He told me that he has been in love with me since the 10th grade and everyone knew it but me. He said how he was always afraid to tell me how he felt because he thought I might reject him. He continued to tell me how he’s watched me in my own relationships and wished it was him with me instead and that’s why he was never happy in any other relationship and treated women like crap. He said he was always attracted to my “take no s***” and “nonchalant” attitude and that I was the only woman that never threw myself at him. It took alot of convincing, swooning, and persistence on his part for me to even consider us being a couple but after about 6 months I gave in. He is definitely a different kind of man, but I think if we hadn’t been friends for all of those years I would be singing a different tune…LOL…believe me he is far from perfect but he is perfect for me. Be patient with them because they really do make good partners but you have to dig through all the bulls*** first. Oh and they hold stuff in for 4ever and they might love you to death and you will never know until THEY feel its safe to tell you.

This is so refreshing to see your post. I too am a sag-girl and i knew my cap guy since 5th grade! when are you guys birthday? mine is dec 11 and his is jan 16th. I sometime believe the days of birth are important. we are also around you guy’s age. Unfortunately, i have no good news to share but im happy to see you happy!

Tell me how you guys got together.