If I back off from Taurus man will he want me more?

TaurusThe question implies that the querent was encroaching on the Taurus man’s turf, and he responded in kind by digging in his heels. He probably felt threatened. You see, the Taurus man is not keen on change. He needs to feel secure, and if a woman tries to change the perimeter of his fence, he won’t budge an inch.

If the Taurus man feels he is going to lose whatever provides him security, his fear-response will kick in. He needs to know you won’t force him to move too fast. After all, he’s worked hard to acquire his hard-earned plot of land, and he’s not going to let go of it easily.

So you step back. Will you — in having given him room to roam — trigger in him a greater desire for you?

There are two things you must remember: Taurus does not like change, and Taurus loves comfort. The first part comes from being a fixed sign, the second comes from being ruled by Venus, goddess of sensual pleasure. His modus operandi is to seek and acquire that which is beautiful and feels good to his body. Yet he’s not going to take many risks to do so. He will be slow, cautious and persistent … but if he really wants it, he will get it, just in his own sweet time.

So you need to appeal to his desire for the finer things in life, without being too unconventional (Aquarian), intense (Scorpionic) or dramatic (Leonine). Be like the water in a stream, the smooth rocks on an incline, the moss blanketing a tree. He will come to you, dip his toes in the water or feel the contours of your surface, and nestle in your curves if it feels good and safe.

 

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Virgowoman says:

    Artimus,
    Why did you leave him? He may still have feelings with u but is afraid u will leave again. I’m almost certain that’s why he’s acting out, to protect himself.

  2. I left him just because he’s too shy to be intimate and so am i , you see it’s not a problem of physical attraction he say’s im cute this and that so do his friends.. but it’s like he dosent want to moove forward or go backward’s i have hurt him alot actually but he never told me so he always keep’s thing’s inside now we insult eachother alot we stay over the phone just insulting eachother before when we would fight he would just shut off.. he onlly told me he loved me once .. i guess now i realise he really did love me
    i showed him alot of affection he was starting to take for granted..
    my family loved him and i tryed beeing without him for two months i couldnt moove on..
    i want him and i dont know how to get things going for the better?
    any tip’s? pls </3

  3. and he is soo taurus like beeing possesif jealous constantly wanting to see me like we had to see eachother everyday giving me advice stubborn yet it would takee soo much for him to get mad or angry loves good food loves to feed me good food and loves nice gift’s nothing i’m really complaining about i really love all of it .. although i hate it when hes soo stubborn..

  4. The bull stops here says:

    If he keeps charging into your electric fence, he’ll
    learn after oh, the 1,000th time, (stubborn)
    to get back in the barn. Pulling him back out to
    pasture, not that difficult. Shy is not uncommon
    but in the shorter mile, his sexual desires, if
    challenged with gusto will get this bull roaring.
    Sensitive to your needs he’ll be cautious,
    but if you drop your guard it’ll be a bare back rodeo.
    Taurus loves the challenge of physical anything.

  5. I am dating a Taurus man who is twice my age. I am a Scorpio. I love him immensely, but I feel that he is backing away. At the same time I feel as if it is some sort of test to see how long I will stay in this. He has been distant for eight weeks now. In his defense, he is insanely busy – but he is not the romantic Taurus you read about. When we first got together, he did spoil me – but that didn’t last long at all. After about a month of dating, it’s like he flipped a switch. Also, i think he feels that his security is threatened by being with me because we work at the same place, but he is a manager and I am an intern. I think he is afraid that he will lose his job if people know we are together. I don’t know what to do. Everyone is telling me to break up with him, but I am so emotionally drained, completely stressed out and I feel that this relationship is over. He even told me that while he is working on his latest project, because he is so busy, that he would be ok with me seeing other people. That can’t be a good sign for a Taurus, or maybe he is testing to see how serious I am about this relationship. I don’t know. I want to be with him, but I cannot be the only person making compromises in this relationship, and I feel as if I am the only one working to keep it going. Advice anyone?

  6. @AJ, He’s TWICE your age, not good. Why? Because he knows where you are in life and he knows that this is just an ego trip for him but it won’t really lead anywhere. Is he married or involved?

    Don’t stress anymore. Go out with men closer to your age. If he is single, he’s looking at the long-term potential and won’t think this will last. I dated a much older man in my early twenties and he always held back because he knew it wouldn’t work out since a much younger person is just enjoying the relationship but isn’t ready to settle down. He was right.

  7. He’s never been married. He’s a workaholic though. He just made everything so wonderful, and then took it all away. Maybe he thinks that I am too attached. I don’t know. I go through phases when I am so sad, then hopeful, then angry and resentful. I am trying to get over this, but it’s been extremely hard. We never broke up. There was no conversation. I moved my stuff out of his house. He’s made no efforts to contact me. I think you’re right though – I shouldn’t be in a committed relationship. I am just starting my career, and he’s well established in his. But he was so stable, supportive and caring before – and now he’s none of those things. It’s very frustrating. And I am just stressing out because I don’t have any answers as to why.

  8. @AJ: This is why being so young is a problem. You got dependent on him. He became everything to you fast. You need time to grow & learn about yourself before you settle down. Go out a LOT! πŸ˜€ With different men but don’t get too serious with any of them yet. Just sample them (guys do this, why not us?), and most importantly, enjoy life along the way.

    I know it doesn’t make you feel better right now but you will look back eventually and be glad you dodged a bullet! πŸ˜‰ Forget about the reasons why he acts the way he does because sometimes they don’t even know why. It’s best to understand that no matter the reason, it wasn’t working so make a better decision next time. You can only do that with experience. Learn how to evaluate men before you get in too deep.

  9. Virgowoman says:

    AJ…. I agree with Bliss.

    Bliss, I’ve been reading everything going on so I want to congratulate you and I’m glad everything and everyone is recovering well. Again, you are correct with being able to understand with experience. We’ve all been where AJ is and to her it may seem impossible. I too had to learn the hard, but only way. Being a complete and happy woman, sure you try to wonder what’s the man thinking, but you are coming from a different place with these thoughts. You are trying to see if he is on your level and if his life is aligned with yours, not the other way around.

    Luv you all!

  10. Let me ask one more thing. This is where I am really getting hung up. I knew that he had this huge event coming up, and that he was going to be insanely busy with it. He kept saying that we would spend time together, then run out of time. And it was getting difficult. So I told him I would wait until the event ended, and then we could try to get back on track. I told him I would wait. Last week we talked about all of this again, and I again told him that I would be patient and wait. So, now I feel obligated in a way to do that. But then that makes me feel like the idiot who is sitting around waiting for him, and he isn’t making it any easier on me because he doesn’t even seem to care about me or what I am doing. I don’t even know if we are officially broken up – so there is no closure there. Everyone is telling me to cut my loses and move on. But what if waiting another week is worth it? Or is behavior just an indication that it will never get better?

  11. Taurean behavior is the way you have described above…
    Most of them anyway.
    See how it plays out.

    Though normaly….if you feel you are ready to get married….i would suggest you to start looking for men who want to share this responsibility with you…not to just ‘do’ you real nice and leave you (like 99% of guys do these days..sadly)

    Hope that helps….i am only saying this because i am 23 now and have made it clear to my parents that i want to get married by 24…im a guy btw…hehe

  12. AJ: Wulkure is a Taurus male & gives great advice. Waiting is up to you but what does a week, month, whatever mean if it won’t work forever? A man so much older can be attractive but believe me, you will change as you grow older so I wouldn’t be so quick to commit and I think he’s aware of that.

    No matter how much you love him you have no idea of how it will hurt him if, or & when you commit but a few years down the line you might realize it wasn’t right. You will be fine but he will be devastated. Really think hard about what you want, he deserves complete honesty.

    Virgowoman, Hello! Thank you, sweetie. Mr. T is doing much better now. How are you? Any new prospects on the horizon?

  13. Virgowoman says:

    Bliss, yes, there is a new/old thing going on. I Soooo wanna ask u guys things and spill d beans on this one. Been really busy and I’m quite afraid that I may ruin a good thing because I’m hung up on wanting what I feel is important vs wht really makes a loving and committed relationship work. It’s gonna take up a whole page and I wont keep the story from y’all. Luv everyone!

  14. Share when you are ready dear Virgowoman. We are here for you always. πŸ™‚

  15. Virgowoman says:

    I know…. Just been super busy. It’s so many details. Thanks!

  16. VirgoLovesTaurus says:

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Ladies n Gents…boy have i missed u guys…just wanted to pop in n say howdy lol

    VLT

  17. VirgoLovesTaurus says:

    TaurusGurly

    Hiiii sweetheart…ive been off this site for quite awhile too…my social life has gotten very busy.

    Anyway good for u…dont let any man walk over you…they will respect you for this….enjoy your life one day at a time πŸ˜€

    VLT

  18. SoooStubbornTaurus says:

    I am a Taurus woman who has completely scared off this Taurus man, long post, but i hope someone can help me.

    After 2 months this guy completely did a flip? Im not sure how to act now, our sexual tension makes me feel 1000k butterflies and i need to know, do i stick around and make him feel “safe to be in a relationship with me” …or do i forget about him and give him space?

    I met this Taurus man (Brazilian man I might add;) …extra sexy! I am so smitten:)

    He kissed me the night we met…a lot, I was later unhappy about that, afraid I seemed too easy? I like to be chased and I found it hard to feel chased given our 3 hour public, drunken lip lock.

    I am recently single and he is recently divorced, our relationship at first was sexy and affectionate, movies, lots of cuddle time, cute text…he called me every Sunday on his day off (he is a touring musician with a day job and little free time)… We are both musicians, i told him i wanted to finish some recordings im working on in nyc, once he learned I longed to move to NYC, he became cold and distant. He decided we shouldn’t date because he wants to move to LA and doesn’t think it is fair to date if we are moving…he didn’t talk to me, he just decided! The thing he didn’t factor in is that I eventually want to move to Cali, I just have contacts in NYC now I need to take advantage of.

    I said all this, but it doesn’t matter now, his mind is made up and now he finds more excuses not to have a relationship.

    So we became friends but since we are both extremely attracted to one another we still can’t keep our hands off each other:) it hurts not being his girlfriend so once he realized how I felt he is now adamant that we can’t be physical whatsoever because he cares about me, respects me and does not want to hurt me.

    In the beginning we fought because he was so busy i didn’t feel very important, i accused him of being a typical Brazilian casanova, questioned if he was seeing other women and called him a jerk for breaking plans. (I know now it was his weekend tour schedule that kept him busy) he was so offended and i really hurt his feelings…this prompted him to say, he cant have a girlfriend right now.

    3 months ago he was so carefree and into me! …now he wants to get everything in his life put back together after his divorce before he will consider being in a relationship. He keeps saying, “he has nothing to offer me.” I say I don’t care about that, I care about him and want to be with him…now he says lets relay and just “be” …see what the future holds, he just doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship and wants to be single for a while and is scared to quickly jump into a relationship (now he blames that on being divorced)

    Is it really the divorce, how could he persue me, then flip and now be scared of a girlfriend…i feel like its my fault!…maybe i could have been more understanding and easygoing…

    Have I scared him off? Again, I am a Taurus myself, my stubborn nature wants to keep loving him even thought we are friends (and unfortunately be pushy because I see what I want…him!) πŸ™‚

    I was so confused he went from this beautiful man that was infatuated with me…to this current man that is distant but still somewhat interested?

    Last week I didn’t call him at all and he called me up and jokingly accused me of forgetting sbout him…I’m just trying not to get my heart broken!

    I’m sure I act weird now, not sure how to get back to the sexy man that was contacting me daily and seemed he had to have me…I’ve tried telling him I’ll be here for him (Taurus loves comfort and support)

    Remember, I’m a Taurus too…are we doomed?

  19. “I was so confused he went from this beautiful man that was infatuated with me…to this current man that is distant but still somewhat interested?”

    ya that happens. =)

    “Last week I didn’t call him at all and he called me up and jokingly accused me of forgetting sbout him…”

    don’t call him and agree to whatever he sez about not being in a relationship, moving, etc.. elusiveness is attractive to us. play it cool no matter how hard that may be LOL

    and i dunno i hate arguments of any kind especially about commitment coz i don’t really look around but i’m really slow to act.

  20. sweetsag says:

    Ok, someone help me out……

    One of my cousin’s best friends (a Taurus of course) met me & decided he was interested in me. For months, I never really paid him any attention bc I thought he was young & wasn’t serious. Well, I finally gave him a chance the night of my cousin’s bday party (he wouldn’t leave me alone) & gave him my number. We txted each other back & forth for about a week or 2 & after asking for me cousin’s permission, he took me out on a date.

    I must say he totally shocked me bc I really didn’t expect to like him, but he was a complete gentleman & was extremely sweet! Everything seemed fine, we went out to eat a lot & he always tried to invite me out to any social functions he was attending although I always declined, but I started having doubts bc of his age & started pushing him away (something I do a lot). I tried to cut him off a total of 4 times & he came back to me 3 of those times. I guess the 4th time really struck a nerve bc he didn’t try to come back. He told me he can’t be with someone that can just cut him off at the drop of a dime for no reason…

    It’s going on 2 months since we split & now tables have turned…. I want him back, but of course he’s not having it. He says he wants us to keep in touch despite of everything that happened between us, but he never calls (unless he has to) or txt me. I always have to make the 1st move to talk to him now. Yes, he answers my calls & responds to all of my txt messages, but I can’t read him at all. He still gives into me but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he still wants me or does it? I don’t know what to do or think when it comes to him.

  21. you can confront him and lay it straight. i mean he is your ex from what i read by “split up”.

  22. sweetsag says:

    @sand…..

    Well we weren’t technically together yet, we were in the “getting to know each other better” stage. But I’ve told him how I felt & now I feel like he’s playing games but Idk.

  23. yah maybe he’s being lazy coz he thinks he’s got you where he wants you. say you’re dating someone else. that might make him get off his couch and chase you again.

  24. Hi all i need ur help!!
    I am a sag women i met a wonderful taurus guy 3 months ago who treated me like a princess and am so inlove with him but these days i feel he changed and since his ex wife appeared we started to have fights like every single day because he is stressed out from her! He says that he loves me and wants to marry me as soon he is done with his ex issues but i cant help the jealousy and i am doubting alot about him cuz sometimes i feel he is not honest although he never lied to me,so last thing happened we had a big fight and i spoken harshly to him cuz i was hurtttttt! So when i hungup he called back once but i ignored his call,after that he didnt call or txt! But my question is shal i wait for him to contact me?and wtf i ignore him and disapear for a little while? Would that help would he come back???? Please i need ur help guys! ThAnks

  25. @ cat:

    “….i feel he changed and since his ex wife appeared we started to have fights like every single day because he is stressed out from her! He says that he loves me and wants to marry me as soon he is done with his ex issues but i cant help the jealousy…”

    “his ex wife…” – Baggage…
    “….we started to have fights…” – Toxic. Not good.

    Cat, move on and please do not look back. God has someone better for you.
    We usually find that right one when we least expect it.

    Love,

    Arabella
    Taurus female

  26. Thanks arabella for the advice but u didnt answer my Q yet??

  27. LibraLady11 says:

    I hope someone comments back ….Oh by the way I’m a Libra
    But I am in a somewhat relationship with a taurus man too and gosh they are kind of confusing. Its like he likes me but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship have a title umm, we have been talking for a while now, i’d say its been about 3months and we clique very with each other when we are in person. When we are on the phone he is the most boring person in this planet but he’s told me once before that he’s not a phone person so I do let that go. He likes to listen to me talk I guess lol ! Umm in person thoug WOW he’s awesome he makes me feel so loved he stares at me a lot in my eyes and he’s always kissing me all the time like on my neck my lips my forehead just everywhere ! And its like he is always touching me like constantly lol he is hilarious makes me laugh all the time. But I just have this gut instinct that he is goofing around with other females. Like I don’t know maybe its a insecurity level on my behalf but that is how I feel. But I don’t see how he could because he always wants to see me and talk on the phone with me a lot . But I guess my main question is if he’s just playing around with me or if he is really serious ? I mean if he was serious I have no idea why he hasn’t made US offical yet, or why does he not want to be in a serious relationship ? ANSWERS PLEASE !

  28. How often do you see each other?

  29. LibraLady11 says:

    We see eachother almost everyday !

  30. LibraLady,

    Either he has commitment issues or you two are pretty much doing a relationship without the title. You didn’t mention if you two were intimate, but if you are, I’d hold off until you GET a title. Plus, you can always ask, ya know? There’s nothing wrong with asking.

  31. I mean if he was serious I have no idea why he hasn’t made US offical yet, or why does he not want to be in a serious relationship ? ANSWERS PLEASE !

    i would keep it ambiguous for as long as possible until we have that whaere/ what are we talk. πŸ™‚ dunno it’s just the way taurii do things i guess. where is his venus?

  32. LibraLady11 says:

    Lol that’s what I have been doing I have been trying to keep my feelings low b/c I don’t want him to get pushed away from me and my feelings so I try not to show it all until I know the feeling is mutual! Lol I haven’t been intimate with him yet I’m just not all the way comfortable with being intimate with him w/o the whole title of my boyfriend ! Lol the most that I have done with him was kis him and not even tounge. He wants me to but I tell him no he can’t receive so much of me w/o that title ! We have been talking for nabout 3months( since July ) kinda long but not really and his venus I believe is aries mines is virgo his moon is leo and so is mines ! Aha weird. . . I’m supposed to be spending the night at his houe w/ him Friday night so let’s see how it goes .LOL kind of nervous :/

  33. Couldn’t figure mine out either. He has Aqua moon..go figure. Felt like we were becoming just FWB’s and he couldn’t give me a straight answer. We had quit going out and doing things as a couple. it became..he came to my house or me his, dinner and screw. Not what I wanted. and he started the distance thing. wasn’t happening because I couldn’t take that nor his emotional distance.

    Sooo I let him go. Told him when/if he decides what he wants, let me know. But i was not waiting for him because life is too short. he cyber stalked me for a bit but i called him out on it. Told him if he wanted to talk, call me. He never called and quit stalking.

    I miss him. Everyday. Do i think he liked me? Yes. And i think he got scared and ran. But that is not an excuse. If he wants me, grow some balls and say it before its too late ya know? πŸ™‚

  34. “he came to my house or me his, dinner and screw.”

    sounds about right. that would be our preferred “date” sadly.

  35. β€œhe came to my house or me his, dinner and screw.” sounds about right. that would be our preferred β€œdate” sadly.

    -didn’t say I didnt enjoy,hahaha..but i needed more than he was willing/ready to give I guess..

  36. LibraLady11 says:

    OKay sooo lol I just got back home frombeing with him and the day was terrific! πŸ˜€ everything was lovely we were at a friends house and we were all watching transformers 3 and of course me and the boy was all cuddled up I felt very happy. He didn’t try and do anything like take advantage of me he just was kissing on me and on my neck a lot πŸ™‚ lol I loved it… so I think he does really like me just slow to move and I understand that I am not going to rush him into anything ill let him take his time but I am happy that he didn’t try and screw me either shows that he had a lot of respect for me and my standards *sigh* lol I likeeeee him πŸ™‚ COMMENT BACK

  37. @LIbraLady11,

    Sounds good so far. Don’t rush it and just enjoy being excited around him and all that good stuff ;). Remember, once you go further, you can never get this part back so relish it!

    As long as he treats you well, takes you out on proper dates and acts like a gentlemen, then he’s probably open to making this into something long term. Don’t act crass or push him for more, just ease into it like he is so you both find your comfort zone with each other.

    I’m so happy for you! His venus in Aries would really want to push things sexually but it looks like he’s willing to be a gentlemen for you. Nice! Now, keep being that wonderful Libra lady πŸ˜‰

  38. LibraLady11 says:

    @ Bliss thank you sweetie ! Lol he’s lovely and very protective he told me to text him lastnight once I got home. He didn’t text back but I understood because he probably was with having fun w. His friends but he called me at like 2am ^.^ I didn’t talk to him though lol I was sleepy. But thank you. I am going to definetly keep you guys updated …

  39. LibraLady11 says:

    Oh I’m going to put both of our charts down and hopefully someone ca
    n do it for us :

    Mines is

    Sun-Libra
    Moon-Leo
    Mercury-Scorpio
    Venus-Virgo
    Mars-Scorpio
    Jupiter-Libra
    Saturn-Aqua
    Uranus-Cap
    Neptune-Cap
    Pluto-Scorp
    Lilith-Aries
    Asc-Sag

    His is:
    Sun Taurus
    Mercury leo
    Venus taurus
    Mars aries
    Jupiter virgo
    Saturn aqua
    Uranus cap
    Neptune cap
    Pluto scorpio
    Lilith cap
    Asc cap

  40. His venus is taurus so hes going to be a slow mover anyways if he thinks you are a keeper. Cap rising can also be slow..wants to get to know you first w.out the physical. What’s his moon?..tells more about him than sun sign in how he’s going to behave.

    My taurus had venus in aries. mars Gem,moon aqua, and rising Cap. His via made him implusive and loved the chase, moon in aqua; distant and coldness, Gem; wishy-washy, cap slow to move, along with taurus on making a decision.

    Interesting..I saw an Aries sun with taurus in venus last night for the 2nd time and he said,”I want to take it slow, do things differently this time..” He admitted he’s a fast mover but with me he didn’t want to’ mess it up’ with rushing physical. I was impressed and being a Cap/aqua cusp I’m ok with slow…shows a level of respect.

  41. LibraLady11 says:

    His moon is with leo the same as mines ! But I just was talking to him again like earlier this morning. And he is sooooo over protective omg idek !!! But its cute though I like to know that he actually cares about me !

  42. iv sun and venus in taurus to. also leo moon. do either square the leo moon or oppose the pluto in scorpio?

  43. LibraLady11 says:

    Omge I just kep messing up his chart lol excuse me ! But his moon is with leo
    And his mercury is with aries …. & I don’t know if they square eachother. If both our moons are the same is that a bad thing ? I talked to him lastnight and he was telling me that he wasn’t afraid of commitment but that he just had trust issues wich to me is a sorry excuse to not want to get into a relationship. Seriously … I just don’t know like I really like this boy but I don’t want to get my feelings hurt its so wishy washy felings with him . Because me being a libra its killing me that he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. Its playing with my insecurities

  44. ‘he wasn’t afraid of commitment but that he just had trust issues wich to me is a sorry excuse to not want to get into a relationship.’

    -then u don’t give booty until he’s ready. But then a title doesn’t guarantee anything anyways i suppose..lol

    Go to cafe astrology and look those placements up..

  45. LibraLady11 says:

    I told that boy that prett much I’m not about to be the only person catching feelings for him ! And if this isn’t going anywhere then there isn’t a point. Now I don’t want to push him away but I honestly don’t like gettin my emotions played w….. it doesn’t feel togood !

  46. Nope it doesn’t! And that’s why Taurus and I havent seen each other in a month. Since he couldn’t make a decison, I made it for him. Told him i wasn’t waiting around for any ‘maybe’s’, I had a life to live with or without him.

    with his aqua moon, the distance and push/pull was too much for me.

    Honestly..if 2 peoople have been dating for over a month..u know whether its what u want or not. Some sun signs will say thats too early. Nay, you know.

  47. LibraLady11 says:

    @Cap Baby you are right on my path. Like i dont understand if he feels like i am going to be waiting on him hand and foot b/c im hella not. I mean i like him & i am trying to be patient. Everyone knows that for a libra that is totally unormal. But there are some things that you do have to suck up. I am just flustered with the fact that i actually like him & he really does put me in a loop hole. I mean yesterday on my birthday i asked him if he talked to other people and he said at frist he didnt but now he does. And i mean i can except the truth but its like wtf why would you say that ? idek im just to lost for words and he’s like oh i can talk to people if i want but then when i do he shows this jealousy that is like OhKAY wtf make up your mind im so lost BBL

  48. This is going to be long story, but my question is can a Taurus male forgive/move forward and re-find love w/his wife after such drama was involved? (I would really like Taurus opinions if possible).
    I am a true virgo woman (early sept bday) he is an late April bday.

    We have been together for 14 yrs, married for almost 10 of them, we have 3 adorable children. Things have been difficult for us, but I have always been in love w/him and he in me.. that was till a yr ago when I became uber depressed and self absorbed. I had an affair (I was totally up front and honest about the situation) but it was on and off for 3 months on… 9 months off… when the summer came I decided to go spend it w/my sister and took the kids for vacation. My husband and I had agreed to come together at the end of summer and fix what was broken in the marriage.. that was till I messed up and aloud myself to be used by one Cancer male (one night stand + stole money from me) and then when I was at my lowest the affair mate decided to suduce me and I agreed (he was a Cancer too) and then my husband asked for a full commitment.. at my lowest point.. and I couldn’t or wouldn’t.. honestly all I know was I didn’t know what I wanted to commit too.

    So my Taurus “moved on” (no true legal seperation.. though he was planning it eventually.. no divorce) but he moved on to a lady (whom I knew) who is 16 yrs his juniour… she is a Sag.. and other then a few pyschic simularities.. we are absolutely nothing alike. He didn’t tell me about, I found out via a friend (mutual). And then he went ape shit (excuse the language) but during all this we had a family weekend for our middle son’s birthday and we had agreed to allow me to come home, we would work on the marriage, but when I found out about the “other” woman, he changed it.. and the fight was on.. not about her but about our children.. things got so bad… that the children ended up w/me.. this is all in the space of 3 months.

    In the end… my husband agreed to let me and the children (mainly for the childrens sake) back in our home. He tried to continue the relationship with the other person, but I had to put my foot down on that one… it was hurting the kids (I had stopped seeing my affair mate in late July and completely stopped talking to him in Sept). But he sleeps in one room w/the boys I sleep in the other w/our daughter. He is willing to work on the marriage, but is so hurt, angry, and hateful towards me.. I just don’t know if I can penitrate him again… I love him w/all my heart.. but like I said I am a true Virgo… controlling at times, criticial, needy, paranoid… I don’t know how to get thru the walls he has built up… its all crazy…

    Maybe some one can help me and shed some light on what I can do… yes he still looks at me, yes we do share things, yes we laugh, yes he buys me little special things, and yes he slips and calls me babe.. but no there is no sex (and he is an uber sexual person.. as am I), and no there is no trust on either side.. what to do now?

    I posted this a few days ago.. so there is a change.. my husband and I finally had sex again after 4 months.. this was on Monday.. but now he is being very closed off again… so I am wondering if he is ashamed cause he caved and slept w/me.. or ?? Anyways can anyone help me??

  49. @Jess,

    You need counseling. Everything needs to be sorted out in the open with a counselor. Nothing can be swept under the rug. Get to the heart of the issues (which should have been done in the first place rather than taking on lovers).

    Since you broke the bonds, you will have to work harder to regain his trust.

    @LibraLady11,

    You know for sure his time of birth? Because the moon can change over the course of a day. Also, ultimatums never work out well. How long were you going out with him? Why not take your time to get to know him? If it is over a year, then I can see where you really need to solidify something but really, the words you want to hear mean nothing if their isn’t substance behind them and that is what the Taurus needs to feel before going there.

  50. @ Bliss

    Yes, we have agreed counceling is the most important thing. He says that I need to curb my inner struggles, but I have always been the paranoid type.. If I am not worrying over him, then its over the children, or worse over thinking every lil thing I say or do. Take for insantence I said we slept together on Mon. He has barely talked to me since then… he doesnt seem to want to be around me either… we are still nice and polite to one another… I still complement his cooking (god he is a fantastic cook!) .. so on and so forth… but I feel as tho he doesnt know how to handle the situation.

    All thats been said about it was.. in his words “this was a show of trust because I know you have been working so hard on show trust to me”.
    He was the one who offered to have my company, I took things very slow (i didnt know if he ment sleep as in eyes closed or sleep as in sex), and he was the one who said yes we could.

    So I am all forms of confused right now. I love him, he is my soul mate always has been… I have put to bed the issues that hurt me… forgive all involved… now I wait on him and he built some big walls around his heart.

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