If I back off from Taurus man will he want me more?
November 25, 2006 by Jeffrey Kishner
The question implies that the querent was encroaching on the Taurus man’s turf, and he responded in kind by digging in his heels. He probably felt threatened. You see, the Taurus man is not keen on change. He needs to feel secure, and if a woman tries to change the perimeter of his fence, he won’t budge an inch.
If the Taurus man feels he is going to lose whatever provides him security, his fear-response will kick in. He needs to know you won’t force him to move too fast. After all, he’s worked hard to acquire his hard-earned plot of land, and he’s not going to let go of it easily.
So you step back. Will you — in having given him room to roam — trigger in him a greater desire for you?
There are two things you must remember: Taurus does not like change, and Taurus loves comfort. The first part comes from being a fixed sign, the second comes from being ruled by Venus, goddess of sensual pleasure. His modus operandi is to seek and acquire that which is beautiful and feels good to his body. Yet he’s not going to take many risks to do so. He will be slow, cautious and persistent … but if he really wants it, he will get it, just in his own sweet time.
So you need to appeal to his desire for the finer things in life, without being too unconventional (Aquarian), intense (Scorpionic) or dramatic (Leonine). Be like the water in a stream, the smooth rocks on an incline, the moss blanketing a tree. He will come to you, dip his toes in the water or feel the contours of your surface, and nestle in your curves if it feels good and safe.
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So do you think I shld make the move since it is pass the number getting stage. I mean does it sound like he interested in more than friendship? How shld I make a move I don’t want to be to aggressive and scare him bt I do want to put out there since we haven’t talked about it since we met and it does seem like hes pursuing me.
They dont really like someone chasing after them and they DO NOT LIKE to be confronted with anything more then they want.. meaning if they dont want a relationship they dotn want to talk about it.. they let thing flow on their own pace and u just either have to enjoy the ride and keep ur mouth shut or leave them alone… I’m not the type to keep my big mouth shut and that is why my relationship ended.. He wasnt there for the the way that i was for him and i confronted him about it and the next day he ended it.
Ariesgirl,
I see what your saying but I think I will walk away before he has the luxury of walking away from me. I’m a beautiful woman any man is lucky to have me and if he doesn’t man up soon then it will be his lost, I wont keep wasting my time bt for now I’ll let him keep calling while ai just stare at the phone until I decide what I want to do because Im the HBIC lol so for now thanks for the advice it is what it is.
hellooo, i am an aries girl and i had a taurus boyfriend and i got really fustrated with him and ended it and broke his heart
but now a year later we have kept in contact the past year and seen him now weve started to get close again and everything was great then i asked him back and he just completely dismissed the subject, but he says he loves me he is so confusing i just want to have a masssive go at him but i know its not the way, is the only thing i can do is be myself and wait? how do i get him to open up to me
Saggi
I think whats going on with u n him is that u guys really have frustrated each other n need a break but not one which will last for months….maybe a few weeks n of course u should be allowed to check in to see if each other is ok…..He got upset when u said “take a break for a few months” bc he obviously didnt want that, so he reacted by saying “ok so lets break up”(as he explained on V day)…..let me reiterate HE DIDNT WANT TO BREAK UP…..he was just frustrated n tired of fighting n u dont seem to get it……
It seems that u expect too much fr him when he cant give that…. hence the reason he said “I love u but cant love u more” bc he is seeing that u want more n he just can’t give u more, this is what Lovetrue was trying to say to u…..A Taurus man will never be around 24/7 like other men….they truly enjoy alone time n if u take that fr him he will be annoyed n thats what ur doing to him…..just give him space n let him contact u while u concentrate on ur own thing.
Maybe u should just text him n say something like “im sorry i pushed u n didnt understand u…miss n love u” and just leave him to think n deal with his own issues….he will come bk just give him time n stop being a wreck over it….men find that unattractive….be confident n live one day at a time….
I hope u understand what im saying…Goodluck!
WULKUREEE Nice to see u again..
.. like what the heck..Is he guilty and not replying cause he does not know how to approach the matter.. he knows I wont go crazy on him..I just wanted him to know that it was ok to need the money but would have appreciated him telling me..Cause that money was actually gonna be used to pay some bills.. Now what do I do.. Do I text him that im not mad about..or just wait until he replies somethin..anything at this point..If ever does.. HELPPPPPPPPPP WULKURE.. What should I do. thx
Actually while we have ur attention..Question for u?
So long story short. I was noticing money missing from my stach lately. I first noticed that 100$ was missing a few weeks ago..Anywho didnt do anything but find another hiding spot for the stach and think I was goin crazy lol.. May I add that my taurus knew where my stach was cause of a previous time he had asked me for money I said yes but since I wasnt home I told him where to go get it. Well last week I noticed another 100$ missing from my stach that was now in another place.. Well I then started wondering what was goin on.. and may I also add that he is the only person that comes to my condo when Im not home.. And my place aint that big so the hidding spots are limited lol. Anyways so this sunday I text my taurus and said « Babe if ever u needed more money u would have asked me right? So without accusing I confronted him..Well no reply as of yet
Jess, this is a more detailed version of the stoory. I would put money in the bank if I were u, ask him to borrow 100$ for bills and not mention it again, I mean who else took the money? Its so obvious he can’t be trusted, I don’t think u miscounted $100 @ a time. Sorry.
Truscorpio
awww Hes sweet….i think hes shy….my T was shy….would tell me he wanted to kiss me n what not on text n when we meet up face to face he just wouldnt make the move until one day we just kised n it hadn’t stopped….went on n on lol.
I think he is showing u how much he cares by singing n sending poems but is also awaiting feedback fr u so u have to encourage it n flirt back with him a bit…hes waiting on u to show some emotion too..
PS: keep up the not answering ur ph all d time…it seems to be working.
VLT,
I just think by now he will stop talking through songs and poetry and say something. How should I encourage him shld I be straight forward. He is a sweet guy and I really like him. I guess I just want him to say he likes me and I guess I’m afraid of rejection. Thank you for the advice and yeah when I don’t answer he will call me everyday until he can catch up with me. He is really handsome and I’m sure he is use to women being at his beck and call bt I have a life outside of him and I make sure he knows by not being as available as I’m sure he is use to girls being. Thanks VLT i guess were probably just waiting for the other to just be straight with it. I can tell he likes me.
Bulls are known to use music to show emotion. Mine used to sit and listen to music and then open up about the past. My bff does the same
Virgowoman:
True true, it is gonna be hard to trust him now..But why ignore my text..If he took it just say it..Im not gonna spaz on him like cmon lol. So i guess i just have to wait and see if he replies or anythin..
Truscorpio
They r not much of talkers but can be veryyy sweet….
My Taurus showed up at my door within an hour of me not answering just two of his calls…(I left my phone downstairs on purpose so I wouldn’t be tempted to pick it up) these men are a trip the way they flip when you ignore them…and then a friend of mine texts me a few times and I’m more into reading the texts than giving him attention and he’s like ‘is that your boyfriend’… I swear am I in high school again??? Why am I a little annoyed when I should be happy after seeing him???
hi,
i am sorry that i was not strong enough and texted him this morning like” in my heart, you are like a family to me already. hope you are doing well. be careful of the snow and stay warm.” then he replied immediately like” you too. have a good day.”
well, i do not know what he was thinking and i sent it out as i wanted to break the ice..what do you think? did i do bad?
No, u didn’t saggi… u did get a response from him… so that’s really good.
A male Taurus friend of mine gave the advice…’It’s best to ignore them and let them chase you it’s worked with me so far x
Jessica,
Please do proceed with caution. be gentle when you inquire into this matter.
Ask him…’so whts up…are you in financial trouble?’ dont make him feel as if you are repremanding his actions or in any way make him insecure.
Put the facts down…and it would helpful if you not mention that you needed the mony for your bills…it would make him feel as if you were made uncomfortable with his actions.
Dont treat him like a kid on this one…this is not good for his behaviour because being a taurean…if he gets used to being let off easily…you know what to expect…
So be mature with him…no harsh tones…ask him playfully…like in the way of normal conversation…like its not a big deal..but do make it clear that your money is yours…(im actually disappointed by this behaviour of a male taurean)
Comprende?
Yes Lulu..you friend is right….but do keep in mind…you need to have the goods to make him chase you…yeh we are shallow ppl..got a problem?
Hmmm, this brings back memories of a female bull friend who stole cash from under my nose when we shared a flat abroad…very difficult situation.
truscorpio……i am with you, i have been seeing a 46yr old Taurus male for 3 months now, (i’m a 37yr old virgo), without sounding vain i am an attractive woman that looks way less then my years, i have no issue meeting men, often a lot younger than me, this man is of average looks, however there is something about this man that draws me to him. His masculinity, his passion, his sensuality etc. basically acquiring the positive traits of Taurean males, he often tells me that he likes me, and that i am very special to him, he misses me, i’m beautiful blah blah, however i have found that as soon as i share how i feel about him, he backs away and makes himself less available to me. It’s strange because i’m quite sure he wants me, I’m not clingy in any way, just basically sharing words such as’ i enjoy being with you’ ‘i miss you’ blah blah. When he does this i get hurt and being a virgo i turn cold towards him, and don’t want to waste my time with him so i end up ignoring him, as soon as i do this he runs after me…pretty much immediately. I don’t want to use the old ‘be mean keep them keen’ treatment that i would abide to in days gone by, i’m too old for that, i’m even disappointed that him being 9yrs older than i there is still that game playing? or what would you call this? can anyone comment or share a similar experience?
Ruby,
I think it just goes to show that guys never really grow up. I know I’m looking to have an adult relationship, and its hard when games are being played. I think the fact your man is still doing this at his age just really goes to show that he doesn’t know what he wants. The Taurus I had a thing with was very much the same why – and I remember feeling like an object rather than a person. I could be fun, and I could spend time with him, but if I had a ‘voice’… nothing.
It’s only been two weeks for me, but I sit here and replay in my head all the things my Taurus said to me, and I KNOW he had feelings for me, and then when I voiced mine… he says he is sorry I thought he had feelings for me, but he’s a moody person and that’s just it… So I think they just like to have the upper hand all the time. As women, we want to hear that our men have feelings for us, and what they like about us, and so on. But if we return that, rather than validating those feelings, they just get scared off.
I think it’s a maturity issue.
Ruby888: Here’s the deal. Taurus men do love to hunt and be in control. Being a little unavailable is your best weapon. It sucks that it”s games, but if you’re into a Taurus, proceed with caution. They like strong, successful, classy, women. They do not like clingy or neediness. If he asks you if you like them, tell them, don’t initiate the “the talk,” or they will run faster than a speeding bullet. Get someone else on the side until your Taurus man is on bended knee with a ring.
Good luck Ruby888
Wow Jules! You hit the nail on the head. I do feel like an object around him. He is always telling me how i FEEL, LOOK and TASTE (lol), but i get the impression he never really appreciates who i really am, the true me, what i stand for, what i have achieved in life. I’m a modern woman, at his age and my age i don’t think it should be about who is exercising the power, can’t we just enjoy each other and not hold back how we really feel? LIFE IS SHORT. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thanks for sharing 2BTrue. You are right there i had no interest in him to start with, and yes he did hunt me down, but he can’t control me, like you have mentioned i am a strong, successful and would like to consider myself a classy woman, (i run my own company and i never drink from a bottle lol). I don’t think i’m clingy i have way too much happening in my life to allow time for that, i just want to enjoy each other and be true about how we feel for each other, i believe i’m quite intuitive (I’m a Virgo) and feel he is into me, like i am into him, can’t he just stop with the games and enjoy the present moment. I never initiate the talk about how we feel for one another, he is the instigator not i. I do not want to get married with him (been there done that and so has he) and i do not want to have other men on the side, i am happy to just have one lover WITHOUT THE GAMES. Sometimes i think maybe a Taurus is not for me, apparently we are meant to be a true match, but i have felt so comfortable with him from the first time we met, despite the 9yr age difference. I just wish he could just be true to how he feels and stop with the games. Thanks for your advice 2BTrue.
You’re welcome Ruby888. I know you don’t want to have other men on the side, but perhaps consider keeping your options open. I learned the hard way especially when I wanted to have just 1 lover (Taurus). It’s funny. As soon as I became less available, he wanted to become closer, and wonder who I was with, etc. When I displayed actions of wanting to be closer, he backed away. Weird. It’s better to just let them come to you as you were doing. You’re right, he may not be right for you. If you break it off with him, he won’t go quietly. They hate ending relationships especially with women they really like, love, etc. Hope you are able to work things out. You sound like a put together woman-which is what they like.
Ladies
Yes we Virgos like it direct with no beating around the bush…cant tell u how that turns me off….Ruby i too dont think a Taurus is for me ….seriously dont kno why they say we r the best match…..my T is a thing of the past…i do miss n remember him but i dont think hes worth it n i will forget him soon….it dont hurt anymore thank god…..anyway i live n make my decisions by this little saying:
“The past is the past for a reason. And if someone in the past was meant to be in your present or future they would have fought harder for it.”
I’m just gonna say that taurus men love scorpio women. And they’re mysterious. I’m not saying to act like a scorpio, but maybe your own sign or the opposite one will be better for you… difficult, yes
Oh, virgo gets along with taurus cause we have points of you in common. but the differences don’t compliment each other so much. Virgo likes to chat and us taurus don’t care about that at all. we’d rather chill in a secluded spot that is a little familiar than go out and be with people we don’t know.
Since my last entries i have met up with my Taurus man on a couple of occasions. It seems he now wants me to spend ALL my free time with him, actually he expressed it as an expectation, it was almost an order. I’m not really use to being told what to do and i was a little taken aback. What i would like to know is are all Taurus’s possessive? is this how they show their interest for one? can anyone share any similar experiences?
I forgot to add, his ascendant is in Cancer and Moon in Libra.
Well Paul my T was more of the talker between us bc im a virgo n i value silence n alone time as well….i cant stand too much talking or even loud ppl…..but we had a variety of things in common….anyway he disappeared so i guess thats it for this virgo n taurus……since im the kinda girl who gets turned off if i kno a man is not interested….so it works well for me too….hes gone n im turned off tehehe…
I love the wild n wonderful scorpio too but sometimes they get overly dramatic….my ex scorpio is still calling for us to get bk together n who knos…it used to be fun n i love fun but i have to see a fun-loving side in my partner to start it or else i will go with the flow if hes quiet…my friends are scopios n man do they kno how to have funnn…lol
I think Virgo you should entice him look cute send a pic real basic text with it. Like miss you/ Dont call or text after that…..I think this tactic is working with mine. 2BTruE I think your right I think a spare is needed. Untill they come around. Being a SCORPIO Im use to attention. So its weird when they disappear. VIRGO/ARIES Get out there. Ruby date other people open ur heart. Even though I havent been meeting many men that I have interest in. I still felt okay about not being with the BULL let him come to you keep in touch. Enice him/t
.
Amber
Oh im no longer seeing him…back then he use to beg me for pics….the more he got the more he wanted n he would say nice things “ur gorgeous” ur soo beautiful” he use to also text me pics of himelf or whatever he had done n was proud of….like d new tv he place on the wall all by himself lol, or the kids n d dog….but its over n i prefer not too dwell on it but thanks…d pic thing do work tho…
So i’ve been involved with many taurus males and regardless my feelings towards them they always at one poin thad romantic feelings for me.
Right now though , I am head over heels for this taurus male
with a moon in taurus as well…He is always telling me how beautiful I am and such and how much he’d like to see me (long distance) although as soon as i open up to him a little bit I notice he isnt as enthusiastic towards me….although once i back off he’s back to being all about me….I dont get it…
VIRGO RISING That is the norm I dont think its that they arent interested I think their busy. With business other people who knows were all wondering why there so screwie
This has all made very interesting ready. I too, was hunted down by a Taurus who I couldnt stand the sight off, and now I am totally head over heels. He texts all the time, compliments me and goes out of his way to wave etc. He then offers to do things for me then it never materalises ???? We finally kissed (really passionate) and it was great, all the body language signs were there !!! Everything is ok from a distance !! Face to face, it cant seem to deal with it or wants to talk to me in public where people can see us ??
Why o why, can someone explain this to me !!