How to make a Cancerian man propose?
November 15, 2006 by Jeffrey Kishner
I’m not a big fan of the adjective Cancerian, but it is in the Free Dictionary. Can you be a Cancer but not Cancerian?
And how can you make a Cancerian man propose?
First of all, let me say right off the bat that you can’t make anyone do anything. Cancer men have free will, even if their moods are at the whim of the Moon.
Secondly, why can’t you just take the Crab by the pincers and propose to him? (On the other hand, Cancer respects tradition, and may not feel comfortable with such unorthodoxy!)
Now that I’ve put those matters aside, the only sure-fire way I know to make any man propose marriage is to threaten him with your imminent departure unless he forks over the ring. Hesitant men need to be cornered.
And anyways, what do you think is holding your Cancerian man back from getting down on his knee? Maybe you’re not the kind of girl of which his mama would approve. Maybe he doesn’t think you’d be a good mama yourself. Maybe he doesn’t like your cooking.
These are important things to a Cancer man. Especially if he is Cancerian.
Comment below: If you have a Cancer husband, how did you get him to propose?
Subscribe to Sasstrology for the latest articles by email or RSS.
Become a fan of Sasstrology at Facebook.
Follow Sasstrology at Twitter.
Follow Sasstrology on Google buzz.
Hey there
I guess my reply would be more suitable at the ‘how to understand a cancer man’ or ‘how to know things sooner than later’. I am a cancer myself and i have been in a sort of relationship with a cancer man for a year. at that time i cared for him, now, looking back and being totally objective, i can give my most honest opinion, and i hope this helps. remember, i don’t believe in the description posted for the cancer woman (i’m actually going to comment on this one very soon…), but as a cancerian, maybe i have some insight on the matter in a potential deeper way than the other ladies…actually i see there are no categories in the cancer man subject where my comment would be useful, and i see people have posted messages not completely related to the marriage proposal. so here it goes:
1) the man i was with was born one day after me, seven years older. 27th of june is my birthday, he was (and hope still is) 28th.
when a cancer man doesn’t want to do something, he will just not do it. from this comes the story-telling, bulls***ting, cheating, etc, all the plethora of negative stuff. he wants something you’re not giving him.
2) he had a girlfriend when we hooked up and our ‘relationship’ was a sex thing. nevertheless this is how i got to know him in a sort of way.
3) when a cancer man wants a woman, he WANTS her. this is how i also feel about a man when i want him. it doesn’t matter why do i want him, or why does the cancer man want the girl, respectively. it turns into a major thing, consumes our mind, our body, until we have him/her. this is how he behaved- insisting. he would do anything to get in touch with me (we lived in the same building and he would always come knocking on the door to talk).
4) he would be very nice and charming and seemed a bit nervous because we cancerians never know if the card we’re playing is the correct one and the magnitude of the process (the conquest) completely absorbs us.
5) so he would be charming, almost suffocating. i liked it.
6) he was great in bed, did everything i wanted him to, never pushed me for anything just tried to manipulate me, which i hated because i can sense that immediately (because i also manipulate in the same manner, hehe…) and it kinda cast a light on our cancer man. no biggie, but back then i was pretty affected.
7) he was a cheater, a miserable liar, an a******. a cancer man would do anything, and i mean ANYTHING to get what he wants. he would say things you’ve never heard before, touch and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed before, act like KING charming, what prince, and make you feel beyond reality. but that’s about it.
9) cancer men, like cancer women, (and i am NOT proud of this, honestly) want things to be done how they want them, when they want them, and the mere trying to explain them there are also different ways of doing that thing will make them, subconsciously or not, hate you. sooner or later the grudges accumulate and at one point, he will draw the line and make his calculations. if the result doesn’t fit, namely if the asset-to-debt ratio is unfavorable to you, then he will start to distance himself from you. he might not even know this, and you will most certainly not know it.
10) the distancing begins emotionally. he will most certainly stick around in the relationship and continue behaving exactly the same with small blow-offs you’ll attribute to circumstantial factors (he was tired, you had an argument, etc). the truth is an uglier one, and i am not proud of it. but it is the following, and i am sure that if you look deep inside you will recognize it. it doesn’t always happen this way, but if there is one big flaw of the cancer sign, it wouldn’t be his clinginess, need for attention of hypersensitivity. it is selfishness.
11) all water signs are extremely selfish, the love as hard as they demand and also love themselves. when you’re not on the same page your cancerian man is going to drift apart yet try to identify, super fast and I MEAN IT, the advantages he will have from staying by your side as either friends, partners, f*** buddies etc. if there is a worthy aspect he will stick around and your relationship will appear as fading only a VERY LONG TIME after he
continuation-
after a long time he had already known it. don’t ever fool yourself, if things have repeatedly been getting bad then your man knows it, and he’s already working on it. it is not a behind-your-back thing, egoism is something embedded in the cancerian’s DNA. if he ever has a moment of remorse or just thoughts about it he will dismiss it immediately by correctly assuming everybody’s a bitch thus must be treated as such- after all, you’re going to dump him anyway, you don’t love him enough, etc, put your negative qualities on a piece of paper and the result will always be what he wants it to be.
cancerians are big liars. they lie because they want things to be done as they want them, as i previously mentioned, but if they love you they will do the impossible for the lie not to get through to you, because they don’t want to hurt you.
i’ve been with men i loved and still, if circumstances were favorable, slept with other people because i knew it was just sex for me. if my man would’ve done the same thing i would have never forgiven it because a cancerian will always be sure of his feelings but NEVER EVER EVER EVER sure of the loved ones’. this is the truth- cancerian men are egoistic and circu
daaarn! again!
-circumspect and they will never trust anyone. this is the ugly truth. it is because we’ve learned it a long time before you, and we swore never to fall for it again, and unfortunately it happens at the expense of wonderful people in our lives.
a big quality of a cancerian is that he/she is willing to do ANYTHING, and i mean anything for the person she/he loves. and i mean it. nevertheless, everything has a limit and when a cancerian knows that limit was trespassed and that the loved one effed us really hard, then things change. first there is the crying phase, then the hate one. cancerians feel hate in a way other people can’t even imagine- is consuming, ripping you from the inside, just as intense as the initial desire and love were. this is our curse, if one can say so.
hopefully i am helpful to someone out there. will definitely come back on this site, i just discovered it (been inquiring about a pisces man, ehm ehm…), and it’s super interesting.
have a great day y’all!
oh and one more thing- a cancer will never feel comfortable around an ex if the situation hasn’t been clarified. you’re either in or out, there is no other way unless you have discussed it. it is very hard to transplant the ex into the friend category because cancerians like to attach labels to everything and nothing goes unlabeled- someone you loved, who was ‘love of my life’ now is either ‘a******’ or ‘bitch’, because you, as a cancerian, see only that thing in him/her, or ‘friend’ if the breakup reasons weren’t strong enough to create warfare. for example i am friends even with one-night stands because i never held hard feelings towards them after the thing didn’t develop in a relationship, simply because they were bad in bed. if they were to be good in bed and i was to want more from it and they didn’t, i would’ve felt scarred for life and never have considered them friends (deep down, but not letting it out).
so yeah, apart from the selfishness and the story-telling the biggest problem of the cancerians is the radicalism- it’s either all or nothing, and everything has a big reason behind it. we see intrigues and strategies everywhere and we exaggerate everything. for my mental health, i am currently working on this issue:)
I to a great extend agree with u. i am a cancer women and i have also been in a 1 year relationship with a cancer guy. He had done everything possible to make me fall in love with him. he is so emotional but selfish at the same time. He cared alot about satisfying his own needs..
I am dating a Cancer man, he is 80 I am 62, we have been dating 1 year, he is charming and I dont understand him at all, one minute I feel love the next nothing, he is always running the street, more than I do. Sometimes I think of cutting my lostes and than he does something exceptionally sweet. I am so mixed up.
Hi,
I came across this site and thought to share also with you my current relationship with a cancer man. I have to say that I’ve only known this Cancer man for a month and a half. So it may not be as useful. I am a Virgo and I found myself instantly attracted to this man.
When i met him, there was certainly instant chemistry. But because I’m cautious at times (so is anyone that have had their hearts broken) and it’s not easy for me to show emotions (trust issues) I laid out some ground rules straight away with him. We are in a long distance relationship, which is both good and bad. Good because I’m getting to know him on the inside and we email twice a day morning and night. No flaw, or text if we can’t email, just to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’… which is cancer trait. This is a good thing about them. If they do want you they will work hard to get you and keep you. When he is here he will do everything for me including go out of his way to see me.
A cancer man in love (based on my experince with my Cancer man)will be protective, jealous, affectionate, will do everything for you, won’t complain, make you happy, gives you compliments and make you feel that you are the most perfect and beautiful person. Once they find the one and there is no doubt in their mind, body, heart, they will make you theirs and be committed.
From what I observed, what they need, is constant re-assurance that you feel the same way, they need to hear words of affirmation. They need to feel safe and secure with you and they can trust you. If you give them these in return, you will have the most wonderful man that will truly love and appreciate you. I’m still getting used to it, but I’ve never dated a cancer man before, first time and also first time I feel so loved and cherished.
So, what I did in the beginning, was I made it clear to him what I am like and what I want from a man any man that I will eventually give my heart to. Like I said, I set some ground rules with him regarding trust, loyalty, lying, cheating, marriage etc all the important things to me. I thought he’d run the other way but didn’t. Plus he liked it. (This may not work with every man, but at least I can eliminate easy and discourage those who are not too serious! But I think every serious woman should do this.)I also tell him what he can do better and teach him, also telling him how I am (loyal, faithful etc) and request for him to be the same. For example I will say, I’m not the sort of woman who will go gallavanting in the middle of the night with random strangers, so I would appreciate if the person I am with won’t do that either because it will make me feel uncomfortable and not trust them. Barbara, this may help you, since you are confused with your cancer man. Maybe, you need to give him direction and be open about your expectations. Request but don’t demand as this may push him away. Maybe just softly and kindly suggest to him things that you like and would like him to do and after he does them reward him by doing something you know he appreciates and like to hear. There’s a book that I can recommend, it’s a very insightful book on love. On receiving and giving love. It’s called “The Five Languages of Love” by Gary Chapman
To the other Nina, it seems that the only suggestion I can give you, is to find out if your Cancer man will come back is for you to get the truth. You have to risk getting burnt and have your heart out in the open. If he truly loves you then he will appreciate that and reciprocate but as I said the consequences are there. In my experience with my Cancer man, he appreciates straight-forwardness. Because you feel that he is the one, it’s not easy to not tell you what you may want to hear. Just be open with him, direct and let out your real feelings. It’s better if you do it in person, but if I can suggest maybe right it out first and read it to him if you get the chance, so you won’t miss anything important that you want to tell him. Either way, however it turns out you will know the answer. I wish you the very best of luck and hope my suggestion helps. Hope it turns out with a happy ending for both of you regardless.
At the end of the day, regardless if you’re in love with a Cancer man or a man of any other sign, a man in general. Their sun sign personality carachteristics are only a small make up of who and what they are. There are so many other things to consider, like his past, family, friends and childhood etc. And at the end he is still a man. That in itself is another topic of conversation.
Being determined and strong women from what I gathered from your comments. The best thing for you to do is be yourself, know what you want and need and don’t compromise yourselves. Compromise, but not yourselves. If you feel he’s worthy and you really want him. Pursue full steem ahead, like I said you want lose anything, if he feels the same you get what you want, if not, you still get what you want an answer. And if you feel you need to cut your losses, so be it, the best that can happen is he runs after you realising he doesn’t want to lose you, or you meet another wonderful man that can give you what you need.
Good luck!!!
From where I’m standing, I see it as a win win situation for you both! =)
I’m sorry, if what I mentioned above is not the answer you were looking for… I’m not sure much about Cancers apart from the general reading/research on the net. I find each person to be an individual and their sun sign is only a small make up of what they’re like.
Maybe I should let this one pass me by…?
I am really drawn to a cancer guy at work. Very attracted. And I feel like it might be mutual, but it’s very hard to tell. BTW: I’m Tau/Gem cusp and I seem to really lean towards Tau in relationships.
Anyway, this guy is younger than me, div/with custody of his two daughters, seems very mature for his age so our age dif doesn’t really bother me too much (not sure about him though). I try not to push things with him or read things into the way he acts towards me, but do feel an attraction between us. I have never dated a cancer man in my life (or met one as far as I know (LOL)) so I am not sure how to take him at all. I pretty much figured if a guy wants you , he will let you know under no uncertain terms–but I have never delt with a guy as shy as him and I don’t know what’s going on.
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A CANCER GUY IS INTERESTED IN YOU? Will he come out and say it or just hint at it and expect you to make the first move?
hi…
i want to ask u people for some honest suggestions and help… tht would be much appreciated.
i have been liking this cancerian guy for almost 8 months now..we are in the same profession so basically we are around each other for good 8 – 10 hours everyday. i have been dropping hints to him recently tht i am interested in him… but im not getting any response from his side? i used to think he does like me but now tht he is not responding in the same manner as me.. i am getting confused wht he is really thinking? is it wise to confront him and tell him one day tht i do like u and ask him what he thinks about me? i dont want to scare him away from me by telling him how i feel since we are just friends rite now.
please advise me wht to do.
thank u!
does a cancerian guy ever come out and say he likes u or does he wait for u to make the first move???
Well I have been with my Cancer man since Aug 09 and it has been extremely hard. He was very attentive and sweet to me and would always listen to me talk about whatever. He took an interest in me and then one night he decided to take our friendship to the next level. Once we began our sexual relationship he became more nurturing towards me. In the beginning I just wanted to keep it light and fun (I’m a Libra after all) but he wanted to stay with me and cuddle until I fell alseep, or come see me the next morning and stay. I thought he was becoming too clingy but the sex was good so I handled it. Well he recently went on a 6 week training program were we had to corraspond via text and calls only, I got to know him and eventually started to develope feelings that could be called love. Well things were going great until he confirmed my suspicion that he was married. Married! He flat out told me that he was married and that he wanted to love me and that I was his mistress…I was like what?! I hate causing conflict but everyone (including myself) tells me to break it off. He is making it hard by calling and texting and getting all territorial with me. I still have strong feelings for him but now I’m lost. I don’t think he’ll ever leave his wife (not that I would want him if he did) since he also told me that I’m his second mistress hes had. What is wrong with Cancer men? They are sooo sweet and soo secretive, if he had just been up front in the beginning I would have respected him more. True we wouldn’t have gone anywhere but still! I feel played! He got me to Love him then he tells me he’s married!!!
All i can say is wow! Want hear my story, I am a cancer woman married to a cancer man but I have a very close male friend that is also a cancer. He is married as well. My relationship with my husband is ok. He is very sweet , loving caring loyal and would do anything for me. The problem is that I don’t think I was ever in love with him. I was married young and he is 9 years older than me. I just never knew what love was.He was my first boyfriend. So now we have been together fourteen years. Its a very comfortable relationship but there are no sparks between us. Kindof boring and he is extremely possesive of me and jealous when Iam around other men. Three years ago I met another cancer man. We have been becoming closer and closer all the time even though we are both married. We are extremely attracted to eachother and had one episode where we finally couldn’t take it any more and had to be with eachother. We didn’t have sex but just messed around. The problem is we both think it is very wrong and don’t want to hurt our spouses. All though I believe we are both unhappy obviously in our marriages. I feel he is a male version of me but he def is confusing. One minute he seems like he wants me so much and the next he is distant. I don’t know where this is all going because we both have children so it makes it hard. I just wish I knew if he loved me or not. He has never made that clear…i think he is afraid. What does one do in this situation? I am not proud of my relationship with him but we havent had an episode since, we are trying to behave ourselves although we talk just about everyday. I really want to be with him. I think I will eventually leave my husband but I feel extremely guilty bc we have children and our home life is not terrible. He really is a good guy. I don’t know what is wrong with me but I can’t help my feelings. Any advice?
I’ve been with a cancer for about 6 months. It’s been good on and off. Mostly good though. Im a Libra….. but he lied about his age when we first got together. He turned out to be 18. which is really young for me even though im only 23. But i still havent figured out what I really feel about this relationship. thats why im trying to read other people perspective on cancer men. But I do know i really love him.
Cancer men! Oh my. One chased after me and was “truly in love with me ” so I let down my guard and fell in love. Then I can feel some distance and find out he is cheating even though we are together 4 or 5 nights a week. So I stop sleeping with him and we are “friends” Then he’s in love with me again. Ok- so I fall for it again. Then he cheats again and that is it. I cut it off for good. Then he starts dropping by and I can tell he is trying to decide between me and somebody else. He tells me he’s been dating a lot. Whoop de dooo! I don;t give an inch. Then one day I’m having a really hard time and I call him just as a friend and tell him I’m having a grad time and can we just meet for a drink. The hard time had nothing to do with him or another man. He says he’s in a relationship. Ok This is after he just sent me card telling me he was moving and his new address- no mention of girl friend. So moving day comes and suddenly I am getting a ton of email, wanting to stay in touch with me. His soul loves my soul , etc. We have an email fight and I tell him we should have had this fight a long time ago and now he’s living with someone and he made his bed and he can lie in it. Goodbye. Then a christmas card with xxx’s Then another note saying he was moving to a house 2 blocks form my office. No mention of girlfriend. By the way, he is still not divorced form his ex and that battle has been going on for 4 years. So he BUYS this house with girlfriend next to my office and starts to write me notes again. I told him I was letting the office go. NOW a year after he’s been in the house with girlfriend, I see him at a meeting. I ignore him , but he finds excuse to say hi an dI can see he’s still smitten and frankly all my old feeling came back too. Then everybody kept telling me to call him because life was too short and I never felt jealous of the girlfriend ever. Always felt he loved me but I was too rejecting. So I call at a time I think he is at a meeting and I can hang up, but he answers…Blah Blah.. I ask some business questions and write him off again. Then he’s emailing trying to get me to meet him to take the train into a meeting. I get on an earlier train on purpose and I know he is freaking out that I stood him up. I let him suffer a but and then call and say I took wrong train but will see him at meeting. He comes in late and sits next to me in front of all the bigwigs. Formal goodbye, but electricals like made as usual. I go home and am sitting on my couch and my heart just opens and I know I love him but also that it is okay if we are never together. Then I tell god that he has to tell me how he feels. 5 minutes layer I get an email saying he missed me on the train and had been looking forward to it and “liked me very much.” I decided to be honest and tell him I liked him too.
So now he emails every day. I asked him point blank about his relationship. He says it is good and he’s still not divorced. I had a broken heart for two days then got over it. Other men smile at me and I don’t need the complications: Not divorced, bought house with other woman who he will probably break up with if the divorce gets final and now he’s saying he would really like to live near where I recently moved to. I feel like he’s setting things up so he can have me in place when divorce happens and he breaks up with girlfriend. I pray every day to find a new love- like a Sag or leo. And yet there is real love here– but that’s not enough– there has to be trust. So I’m now an email cheater with these notes to each other. I’ve never been a cheater of any kind but I’m not feeling guilty about it. His life is so crazy, I’m just going enjoy his notes with my coffee and find somebody else to spend my life with.
jolie thank you…you just helped me understand it wasnt all me after a 7 yr on and off relationship…he has hurt me so badly…..everything u said is sooo true…and being a pisces….made it even harder, due to my sensitivity…..Pisces think soo much more about their partner…thank u again…..I couldnt understand what happened…he ofcourse NEVER told me it was failing….just drifted…..but kept seeing me I guess as a f— buddy…..and whenever he needed his ego stroaked…..I have never had such emotional pain….
Hello all,
So it seems the Cancer males are quite complex with their feelings and their relationships and forever childish in the way they act them out too! I am also starting to date a Cancer Male (I am a Virgo sun, gemini moon) & i have an adorable Cancer nephew & thanks to all the reading material on the Cancer Male in the internet and all of your posts, i have been able to understand and handle the emotional rollercoasters of these two, like a breeze.. According to my experience, first with my nephew who is still a child and therefore an exponential example of the Cancer male and their emotional reactions, the most important thing is not to take things personal with these guys at all… It is certainly all about them, but i find it to be quite beyond their control!!! So the first thing that i learned is to be understanding with your words and manners. The nicer the way in which you inform them of your ideas (different from theirs), or if you ask them to do something for you, the better they react.. They hate to be told what to do, but only if it comes as a command! But if you say it nicely enough, they do not categorize it as an insult and they will do it gladly and obediently too! But if you decide to say it as a command and mention it twice, they surely take it as an insult!! For me it is quite funny the way these two react so similarly in many ways.. However, it is hard to educate the Cancer child, since he takes everything to heart and personally!!! If he does something wrong and you tell him it was wrong, he becomes sulky and insulted and runs and hides in his secret spot!!! And it is sooooo true that if you just ignore them, else even better, start saying nice things about them out loud, they will surely immediatley come out of their hiding spots with a big smile and totally forgotten the past episode… So, the question is… If these Cancer males where never understood and taught correctly how to screen their feelings as children, how can they cope correctly in their emotionally confused adult lifes? I guess that is why these males are so clingy to their mothers and to anyone who truly understands them.. Since, who else if not them, will take the time and patience to love them and help them grow in the loving, understanding and placid ways they so instinctively demand??… I tell you, being around a Cancer male for me as a Virgo female, is certainly a challenge. I am learning to constantly control my instinctive critical ways and pointedly critical remarks and treating my Cancer date as i treat my nephew; with the outmost care and loving ways that i can.. And to all of this, i am still loyal to who i am, the only challenge is accepting that these relationships are helping me transform myself into a nicer, softer, more tolerating person and, who doesn’t really want that? Me, i am all in…
hey!!
you guys i’ve been dating a cancer guy for only 5 weeks and i’m a gemini/cancer cusp. perhaps, i still need to know him more but he is honestly my dream guy! do you think i might be deceived in him?
oh plz tell me should i trust him?