How to end a relationship with a Cancer
November 21, 2006 by Jeffrey Kishner
Ending a relationship with a Cancer is like giving up your baby for adoption.
But, really. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which governs the mother-child bond, family, food, the home and emotions. Hence, your Cancer man can get pretty attached. It’s likely there has been a form of dependency in your relationship. Maybe you want out because you feel smothered.
That’s all legitimate. But you’re not asking why, you’re asking how.
“My dear Cancer, during the time we have spent together, you have felt like family to me. We’ve shared beautiful moments of warmth and coziness, and I just love your pumpkin pie. However, there are times when I feel like you want more from me than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship … and I don’t mean marriage. Sometimes I feel like you want me to be your mother, and that’s just not a role that I want to play.
“I’ve brought this up before … as much as I feel two people in a couple should be there for each other, I don’t want to be taken care of, and I don’t want to take care of you. And when I’ve confronted you about this unhealthy dynamic, you just get moody and withdraw.
“So I think it’s best, Cancer, if we go our separate ways. You can keep the kitchenware.”
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I’m Taurus sun & Merc, Gemini Venus, Moon Libra & Aquarius Mars
He’s Cancer Sun, Leo Merc, Gemini Venus, Moon Taurus, Cancer Mars
We started out as an affair over 15 years ago, when I was coming out of a marriage to a domineering, cheating Aries, but we’ve always stayed friends & periodically he would try to start something up again. I’m his perfect mother substitute too, being 10 years older.
Finally, about 6 weeks ago we started dating but there’s something about us that makes me uncomfortable even though I love him to bits. I get scared and back off and he hangs on for dear life. I can’t dump him no matter how I try, he won’t let me and I don’t seem to be able to go through with it. I try to end it at least twice a week and he accuses me of blowing hot and cold, it’s like I take on his cancerian tendencies and he makes all the rules. Normally I’m so independent and well-balanced. He says he never wants us to end again… scarey!
jeffrey kirscher, You are ridiculous. Cancers hate to be smother and possessed. most of us have gemini in venus. The cliche of cancer being mothering and smothering is false. motherly somewhat by not clingy over smothering. most people appreciate when someone cares about them and vice versa. I think it is perfectly normal. But then if your an aqaurius you love detachment.
Taylor, it is ridiculous to assert that most Cancers have Venus in Gemini.
Hello again, I just thought I’d update you on recent developments between my ex-Cancer man and myself.
I have continued to put up defences against him and told him that there was something not right, and that I needed to get away from him. He tried to ignore all my negative texts, saying that he didn’t want us to ever end.
I had a call from his distressed ex-girlfriend this morning, asking me to stay away and stop texting him, as they were back together again and had been for some time. Last I heard of her, she had moved back to her mother 30+ miles away.
I feel for her, but I’m so glad I kept up my barrier.
Jeffery You know nothing about cancerian woman.
taylor, I will admit to neither having dated Cancer women nor having any Cancer women in my immediate family. However, I stand by what I wrote in the blog post. Just because you have Venus in Gemini does not negate the archetypal nature of a Cancer Sun. Due to the very nature of writing about Sun signs, one must necessarily “bracket out” other factors which may contradict the Sun’s expression.
How bout bracketing out clingy possesive domestic cuz were are far from that old description of us and we resent it.
“We resent(s) it.” Sounds like Gollum.
Never saw The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings.
Jeffrey, you have actually hit the nail squarely on the head here, sir. As I’ve said elsewhere on this site (sorry for repeating it over and over), I’m an Aries woman married to a Cancer (unusual, I know, but true). That prototype of a breaking up letter you wrote is one I have mentally written to my husband umpteenth times (though in my case I never intended to break up, just get him to understand what he had to do to avoid making me want to eventually break up! I do love him, but he honestly does smother me sometimes).
I have gone from having a relationship with an Aquarius to meeting and marrying a Cancer soon afterwards. That would prove to be too much of a culture shock to anyone, I think.