How do you know when a Virgo man likes you?
November 29, 2006 by Jeffrey Kishner
- He picks the cat hair off your blouse.
- He balances your checkbook.
- He makes your spirulina-and-fruit-smoothie in the morning.
- He shows you the proper way to stretch your quads.
- He adopts you a puppy.
- He edits your term papers.
- He empties your bedpan.
- He cleans your apartment.
Related posts:
- How do you know if a Virgo man does not love you anymore?
- Do Virgos get possessive?
- How to turn a Virgo man on
Comment below: How has a Virgo man shown you affection?
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hey wendy i mailed u, i dont know if i will get a reply from him,though i wont hold my breath lol :0) x
Wendy~
I’ve enjoyed reading your posts!
Very well-written!
You seem to have this Virgo stuff down pat! In your opinion, do you think that if they do the push-pull act that they’re freaking out over the feelings that they have for you? (Ex: Pull away but still text, just not as frequently while they’ve pulled away)
Also, do you know if there are any tiny clues that their feelings have taken a serious turn?
Thanks in advance! Good stuff!
Dear LovelyLibra:
Thank you for your kind words.
Now to answer your questions: IN MY OPINION AND FROM WHAT I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE LAST 3 YEARS WITH MY VIRGO, AND IF MY VIRGO KNEW I WAS WRITING THESE, HE’S TOTALLY PUSH ME AWAY IN A MILLISECOND FOR BEING SO RIGHT ABOUT HIM AND HE’D BLAME ME FOR AIRING OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY, SO TO SPEAK.
“Do you think that if they do the push-pull act that they’re freaking out over the feelings that they have for you? ”
Yes, exactly that! They’re not freaking out so much as they are trying to make sense of it and analyze it and try to figure out why someone would want them in the first place. They are very very hard on themselves, low self esteem, and very insecure and make up for it by being hateful, so that you’ll want to leave, so in turn they can say to themselves and you for that matter-”oh I knew that you weren’t as true as you said you were when you said you liked me.”
Then that’s when they can (tell themselves and you too by the way) justify why they took all that long analytical time contemplating giving you or the possibility or a relationship a chance, so they can feel better abut themselves telling themselves that you that you were the selfish one and that it wasn’t really them that had anything to do with the failing of it before it even got started. They love having a knack for placing the blame on someone else, when in actuality, they’re the ones that are a bit self centered! Does that make any sense at all? Believe me, no the hell it doesn’t, because you’re in love with a Virgo! No, seriously lol, I mean did I explain that well enough?
“Also, do you know if there are any tiny clues that their feelings have taken a serious turn?”
Virgo have a very time expressing themselves. They are not romantic in any way, but once you have them-they will love you for the rest of their lives and do everything in the world to let you know that they love you. They are very practical and organized.
He will creep up on you one day and buy you flowers on your birthday, after how many years did you go without them from him anyway-you can’t even count. He will after so many weeks or months when not being together (if the relationship has been spoiled a bit where he pushed you away by something he said and you just stopped communicating with him), he’ll send you a text saying something like “I hope you have a great day”-he’ll do it in the morning, too, so you can sit and stew on it all day long (if you don’t text him back right away)and it will screw up your productivity at work so all your energy is pretty much focused on him and giving you the possibility of another chance, then if you do text him-he’ll push you away again with the shortest of comments that will cut you like a dagger almost, and you’re left there pissed off, crying because he said such a horrible thing to you, and why the hell did he bother texting you, and for that matter it’s your fault, because you’re the one that texted him back. While you’re trying to figure out what he actually wanted, he’s telling you that he meant nothing by the text and that he was just hoping you have a great day.
Or he’ll tell you that he’ll always be there for you; he truly wants a best friend.
He’ll text you just to see if you’re doing ok.
He does not like being vulnerable, so you probably won’t ever hear this in person or to your face.
When he knows he has said something so mean to you that he didn’t really mean to say, he’ll come around just to see what your reaction will be afterward. Or, when you least expect it, he’ll say the first romantic thing or do the first romantic thing you’ve heard/seen from him since the beginning of your so called fake whatever it is relationship and your dumbfounded like a lil puppy dog wanting more love and attention from him just to know deep in your heart that you are being true to yourself by knowing that he really does care about you.
He’ll ask if you need anything.
He’ll always be the first one to share best wishes about a special day with you, by telling you “happy birthday, making sure to also see him on that day” or “that’s great” or “I told you that it would work out”. He is a very supportive, caring and encouraging person. You just don’t see that side of him very often.
He’ll text you just to ask you something that you know you already told him, ans he’ll play it off like he forgot what you said just to be able to break the ice and talk to you again.
When you comment on something romantic that he did more than a plain “Thank you for your efforts and time that you spent doing all of this for me,” you better watch out for the comment basically telling you to shut up about it, or else you won’t get anymore romantic terms of endearments form me again.
They like to be thanked for their time-because after all you took him away from what he was doing-you took his undivided attention on something he was worrying about or doing trying to make it so perfect, to give you a romantic display of his affection towards you.
It makes no sense at all, I tell you, you will completely go nuts and wanna pull your hair out, but when he does or says that one thing that you’ve needed to hear from him regarding how he feels about you—–it’s all worth it and whatever you were mad at-gets blown away in the wind just about as fast as he says or does the romantic thing for you.
Does any of that help with his lil’ tip offs?
I hope I didn’t just ramble, like I know how. I hope it did make some sense as to answering your question(s).
You can email me directly if you wish.
But one last thing. Don’t have high smelling perfume on-he loves the scent of a freshly showered woman-he doesn’t need all that make up or those fancy clothes. He loves to see you in something that will make him feel as though you are the purest of individuals, like a beautiful white/ivory piece of lingerie. The sexier more seducing stuff can come later, once he can trust you with his heart in a romantic setting other than just plain sex (which is by the way of showing you that he cares, or else you would not be with him, and you are to know this already) that you’ll feel like the relationship is all about at times. But don’t do it all of the time-he likes to be in control of the lovemaking. He likes you just the way you are-with that zit that just popped up out of nowhere, how fat you’ve gotten since the last time you saw him, or the softness of your freshly showered hair rather than your gel and hair spray all over it. He loves your purity and newness.
wendy you rock! lol you know your virgo stuff inside and out. what sign are you??: ) i’ve heard cancer, taurus and scorpios get along with Virgos best.
Hey Nexxus! Thank you so much. I just wish I could know myself at times when my Virgo infuriates me. It takes time and patience to allow myself to step back and place myself in his shoes, really. I just know that I will give him his space and then spring up on him just to let him know that I’m thinking of him as well. They kinda like you to play along in a sense–do exactly what they do every once in a while to mix it up and he’ll be wondering a whole lot of things on how he needs and wants you in his life more.
All of the compatible signs with Virgo, I’m rally not sure of, as I really didn’t care except the fact that Taurus was, since I’s a Taurus regarding speaking of Astrological signs of compatibility.
I truly feel that everyone can make it in their relationship, no matter what sign you are if you work together the way God has wanted you to. I feel that God wants you to love without hindrance and reservation to whomever is in your life. God has his own time of healing a part of you that needs to be healed or taught something new before he brings you into another chapter in your life, or in this sense a relationship.
But always remember this also; God will never give you something that he knows you cannot handle, because he will always be there beside you, even when you are thinking that he’s not.
i agree wendy, fab advice, its great being intouch with such a knowledgeable lady :0) x thanku
Thank you. You both are very kind, in deed. I sure hope all of it helps. Remember, I’m going off of what I have researched and learned over the internet sites regarding Virgo, and my own experiences.
Ahhh, Wendy – thank you so very much for your answers – they made sense completely. I can’t tell you how many times I nodded my head in agreement!
I totally feel you on being frustrated w/ your Virgo – it’s not easy, not at all…I’ve cried, I’ve gotten pissed off, I’ve sworn that I would never speak to him again, and then he’ll send a text out of the blue (always about something he already knows the answer to, like you said) almost like he’s trying to see where he stands or if I’m still pissed off. I think they’re their own worst enemies!
You’re also right again as far as the typical ‘romance’ goes, because I haven’t seen any of the flowers, etc…he’s cleaned my apartment and re-made my bed just the way I like it. I guess that’s romantic to them!
The problem with mine is that he’s been burned and I wonder sometimes if they take twice as long to recover…if they’re as self-critical as you say, I’m sure the answer is yes…
Anyways – thanks again for your reply – I appreciate it!
Sear Lovely Libra:
You sincerely do not know how that makes me feel that you have re-assuredly agreed with my responses. Not that it’s a good thing, but that I have done my homework very thoroughly and continually think that it’s something I have done wrong, something I have said on impulse before I have chosen my words carefully, and thought of every single scenario of just what the words actually mean as he analyzes them over and over and over again, only to always come to a negative conclusion as to what they mean.
I am constantly at wits end of the Virgo man (the love that I’ve have given selfless emotion, trust, vulnerability, broken down walls, etc).
Just tonight, I texted him and told him;” I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you being a positive influence in my life, and thank you. (They love to hear those tiny inspiring comments/statements out of the blue so they can feel good about their caring nature toward you)
He then texted me back and said; “What do you want from me.”
I responded and said; “Where did that come from and Nothing to answer your question.”
(we’ve been doing rather good at actually being friends too lately) rather than me focusing on the romantic side of him and bringing it up, after he did something I was totally in a state of shock about after a month of not talking to him because he told me something so horribly hateful that even I could not stand it anymore, because it was just his way of doing something romantically which was what I needed from him and his way of apologizing.
During the romantic encounter that we had, he played a semi-romantic song for us and that was really not like him either; it was “Criminal” by Fiona Apple. He remember that I made a CD of love songs that reminded me of him and how I felt for him. So this to me was as if he deliberately played this son, as when he came to me during our romantic day, made it a point to restart the CD right at that song.
He has done that many times before and I read the lyrics in the song and they are much like the situation that was at hand for that particular situation/issue that we were having at that time.
I kind of get the song; and maybe someone can shed some light on it a little more than I’m able to as the way I read it.
I just can’t win and although as I sit here and talk about the Virgo’s traits and personal experiences, I also feel very saddened as well because at a moments notice, I’m in the same boat as everyone else, just when I think I finally get to be where I want to be, which is in his heart completely.
When I get pissed off at my Virgo, I tend to delete his number from my cell phone, LOL just cause I vow that I will not think of him nor text him nor call him, and not seeing his name would help me from impulsively contacting him.
So my son and I got new phones and he was checking it out, and he asked me if I was still taking with my virgo and I said yes and that he could actually go ahead and put his name back in my contacts, so my son was putting his name in, and he said to me, oh wait a minute, I wrote the wrong name and he then named him “butthead
” It was so cute, but so true and correct. Ever my son gets pissed off at the roller coaster that my virgo puts me through.
See, so believe me, you are all not the only ones that have to deal with this $hit.
Wendy
I hope things work out for you two very very soon…
I wish I knew some Virgo coping skills to share with you, lol, but alas I don’t, otherwise we both wouldn’t be pulling our hair out!!
Yo!
I’m a virgo male, gotta say that everything Wendy is on about is pretty much spot on, at least it is for me. I tend to be distant whenever I’m not sure what the other person’s feelings are. It probably has something to do with the rational, mathematical nature we exhibit. We like everything to be straightforward… we want to know every hour of everyday that the lady of our dreams loves us back. At the same time, too much mushiness can push us away due to the stress we create. We see it as accelerating too quickly.. then often we convince ourselves that the relationship might not go anywhere.
Don’t be fooled, if we love you… we might play push and pull but you’ll know that we love you. We just like the upperhand because damn! Emotions are scary to us. I don’t know bout all V’s but I grew up wearing my heart on a sleeve only to have it pounded time and again. Since we are rational, we look at situations and think, “How can I avoid this the next time?”. Depending on what has happened we add more layers over our pure emotions and walk through life with a certain facade of calmness when really, we feel psychotic inside.
I can tell you there’s a lady in my life that I think about so much more than I’m comfortable with. I’ve known her for such a long time and I find myself always being cocky and joking with her because I don’t want to allow myself to become the little pussy (excuse my language) that I know I’d be if I just let go. I know it upsets her sometimes because I say/do things that are borderline mean, but I just can’t help but try and keep my distance because the last thing that I want is to fall for her, for something to go wrong and for me to feel like I can’t ever find love. All I want to do is to let her know that she can affect how my day goes by just speaking to her… and that I can’t imagine walking through life without seeing her but I control myself everytime and may blurt out something mean that I don’t intend to… It’s a sticky situation because we live life in a duality.
It’s hard to be a virgo, so please be patient with us. If you can bear all the stress that they place on you… you’ll find that inside there’s a hidden passion and romance within.
wow to JOnah,hats off for speaking up, but i think thats as much a male thing as a virgo, so whats the point in Virgos bothering with lovers/potentials, if they dont have the balls to go through with it, my mum is avirgo, has been wiv her toyboy 19 yrs, but at the start it was rocky, he was selfish, but she played the distant/coldfish game, when i know she mustve loved him deepdown, it took many yrs and they only got married 4 yrs ago, quite bizarre, i think men are unfair at the best of times, i only made it to first base wiv my virgo man,and my heads in the shed, ive tried, but he shuts down, i caved in and text him last wknd,and i got question mark back he mustnt of had my number for whatever reason, i tried to be pleasant, said what i wanted to, got nothing back, totally gutted, i really like him. stubborn busy sod !
YO jonah…. thanks for the insight and keeping it “real”. lol
To tell ya the truth i am so aggravated with my Virgo at this point. The mindless games, always like tug of war. He shows that caring, sweet side….then suddenly becomes cold and cruel. It seems virgos love to be in control so much and are willing to be heartless in order to “play it safe”. I give this man my all…show him my vulnerabilities and he walks around with a mask on playing with my emotions like a yo-yo. He loves me….he loves me not? These type of games can be fun for a 16 year old, but I’m not a kid anymore. I want a real man who is willing to step up to the plate and not be so hot and cold. Virgos,in my opinion, are a real let down.
Alright you want to know the real way to get a Virgo’s attention? You have to toy with him without him detecting it. This is hard because we’re very analytical…
Show him that you like spending time with him but don’t pour emotions out. The key is to be a lady and to have fun together so that all that he feels are the positive vibes associated with you.
Flip his game around and call him.. but only once. Then you wait for him to call you back. The subtlety in the game is to just act like you have lots of things going on in your life too and that… although you genuinely enjoy his company and like him a lot… you also have things that are keeping you occupied.
He’ll see this as you being someone independent.. which is very attractive to us because this means that you have your life together and won’t lean on us as a crutch to your existence.. but that we are an added essential to your happiness.
If he’s heartless, tell him that he’s being an a-hole (in a classy way, try not to get too dramatic or emotional) stop talking to him for a little while and then let him apologize. If he doesn’t at any point… then he’s not worth your time. It’s not so much being a Virgo as it is just lacking the maturity to realize when you’ve crossed the line.
I know I’ve done this many times and although its hard for me to.. I will eventually call up and admit that I was wrong (then maybe add that she was also wrong) haha try not to focus on the latter part.. the fact that he would apologize will show you that he really cares.
Virgos are a more feminine sign… so to really capture him.. you have to dominate him in a very feminine way. Sounds like a paradox which it is…. I guess that’s why it’s so hard for Virgo’s to be pleased cuz we’re messed up like that.
hey JOnah, I hear u on the dominate him thing, i cud tell you a story, i wooped his butt after he nearly cancelled a date last minute !!!
and he made it even thru the circumstances lol.. i was angry at the time, but he sat up and listened, however, hes playin mr cool again at the mo, and it is more than frustrating, like you dont exist, or he just doesnt know what to say?!?!… is it all worth it, im wiv the previous person who commented im past the playing games stage and i thought him being in his 40s hed be easier, but Oh no hes NOT !!!
HiI need to know if this virgo man likes me i think that if he feels that he is getting too close he backs. He told me brother that I was special I made him a cake and dinner he was very excited I made the mistake and asked him out. He feels that if he calls me that I will not answer my phone.HELP
Thank you, Jonah, for that long awaited reassurance that it kind of really wasn’t all me that was pushing him away by being too vulnerable and emotional with how I showed my love and affection, that only drove him back to his cave that he sits so intensely in over analyzing what I did or said.
Ya know, I’ve heard that a Virgo male will know when you’re playing hard to get…..but frankly after 3 years of giving my all and having the constant push and pull, tug-of-war, outcomes, I have finally; after pretty much reading others’ posts/comments on here, it has really opened up my eyes, no matter how much I love my Virgo, that he’s defeated my fight to show him and tell him how much I really care and how much I’m not walking away from him, no matter how cruel I’m treated. I’m the one that chooses to be the victim, and I have chosen to want to matter, to want to be treated with a little bit of respect, so that I can at least retain my dignity, as well.
My heart has been a beacon for a very long time, to over and over and over again, constantly hear that I’m selfish for wanting him, or that I’m too needy for needing him.
I am just tired! Little things that he has said and done for me in the past to make me feel as though everything was all worth it makes me continually be waiting patiently over that hill that he needs to walk over, as well. These hoops of fire have just burned me and my sincerest of affection of wanting to only make him happy and just only “wanting to love him” He does have to meet me half way and he has tried and I when I see that, I let him know how much I appreciate the time and effort he took. I have never been afraid to mention how humbly he has taught me things that only better myself, encourage me, and support me and my feelings, even if it is a weird, insanely cruel way.
You know there’s this movie called “Diary of a Tired Black Man,” that basically summed it all up for me recently when I have come to the conclusion that I am sick of too fragile myself to let him continue to rape me of my self worth from his demeaning ways of being overly critical, (which over and over and over, time after time after time-I have told him that it’s like making me run for cover as fast as a match striking gasoline) and in his eyes never really having the guts to tell me how he really feels.
If I’m vulnerable, why is it so easy for him to take advantage of that when I’m giving him all of my trust, when he can’t do the same thing. It really honestly makes no sense at all, to my already confused world when it comes to him.
I just texted my Virgo today and told him “I hope you’d want to be friends still, since everything else pretty much has soured.”
At this point in time, I love him more than anything, and he knows that I cannot say NO to him and that he has me like a puppet, and that all I want to do is to love and adore him. I can’t continue to allow him to just merely disthread the stitches that he sews back on the broken heart he left me with on his distorted merry go round that he leaves me on.
I am so tired of being sick and tired with him that I just need to be away for a while to try and get back a little of my self esteem that he kept poking at with a dagger every time I tried to be the real me.
If I am away, he won’t even pick up the phone for about 3 months just to say Hi, if he wants a friend so much. What about that, I’m clueless now and I don’t know what direction to go in anymore, as I have been through every direction only to find a road block.
WOW wendy, ive just read yours, I cant believe it, I wouldnt wait 3 months of no contact and still go back to a man, especially if i didnt know where hed been or who hed been with ! not a chance in hell, love or no love,
how do u know hes not living a seperate life, god damn him, u need to be calling the shots and standing up for urself, no man shud have that hold over u, its ABUSE….. and its not a relationship if he can go more than 2 weeks and u are ‘quote togther for 3 yrs’ hes having his cake and eat it, how mean is that… NO man should be able to have that, unless ur dating other guys,and ur happy with the situation, crikey, hats off to you,for remaining loyal to him! xx
Thanx, SG, I was having my own life without him during that time, believe me I wasn’t sittin around waitin on his ass to make as decision. And, yes it was abuse, mental and emotional abuse.
But, in his defense (see there I go again, always getting my Virgo’s back-because I’ve learned a lot abut him and his needs versus my wants this long ass 3 years with being with him and not being with him is that: He was kind of in a sense testing me to see how faithful I could be, and if I’d go running off when I got mad and pissed off at him enough to cheat when the tough spots hit a real relationship with him.
We are not in a “relationship-relationship”, but a relationship as friends with benefits is some type of relationship, right, so our on and off again romance is a type of relationship, too, I feel.
Because they are so cautious, and yes because he has been hurt before by is x-wife, very much, he feels that he cannot be with anyone else who would be with anyone remotely in the same fashion of breaking his heart. But, s***, girl, I hear ya’, what about our hearts.
Stop being his puppet… take back your own life and live life as though he’s not the most important thing in the world to you. Being friends with benefits is fine but you have to realize that you are selling yourself short by accepting just that.
Something tells me if you pull away he’ll chase you instead. If he doesn’t then he really isn’t worth your time. Friends w/benefits is always sticky because one side winds up getting attached.
The dude has to learn to respect you as a person and not just a piece of ass. Don’t even text him. Just stop talking to him… go out and meet new people. Enjoy life… it’s a short one.. and not worth wasting.
Haha, this is just the approach I’ve always tried to take whenever I’m getting bogged down. I put on some rockin’ tunes… jam out and try and focus on the good. It will make you feel better. I guess you can sort of take this as a Virgo trait… that emotions are too unpredictable and I try to shy away from anything that will rough up my life. It’s part of why I can be perceived as emotionally unavailable or just as if there’s nothing in the world that bothers me when really there’s a storm within.
Who knows what your guy is thinking… sometimes don’t you just wish there was a guidebook on every person titled “John Smith for Dummies”. That would be sweet. I guess it’s the guessing that keeps people coming tot his site to decipher codes and signals. We latch onto anything that can give us a better perspective on that which we cannot control.
But lets face it, the more time we spend focusing on these sites… the more obsessive we become and the less we can enjoy everything else that’s going on.
There are lots of people out there to meet! I bet you once you find someone that sparks your interest, you’ll find your virgo guy beckoning for your attention. The question will be whether or not you want to take him back.
jonah i agree, ive read lots of books on why men luv B*tches and the rest, and gettin into the mindset of a man, And its definately not just a VIRGO thing !.. we want what we cant have ..simple as that,and the mor u sit around and wait, the less work he will do, surely ??
Ive also been on michele knights forums, and she says more of ’spiritual answers’.. (ie) Let it go,, and it will come back,as in dont will it to hard, just be positive and get on with ur life, i certainl couldnt sit around with ‘friends and benefits for 3 yrs, god damn that !!’ a friend of mine has been having an affair for 3 yrs,and to see what she goes through ‘as much as she loves or maybe obssessed with the guy, she’d be better off without !.. so confusing… think of number one i think.. then again who knows xxx
Thank you, again Jonah and SG. I think that I’ve been literally tired for so long being that flag in the middle of his tug of war rope has made me focus more on me. I know in my heart that I am worth more, and he even tries to tell me that in a weird way when is the one who is “being ignored”, so to speak.
It is though, getting easier and easier to stop trying to contact him, though, and believe me when I say that with regard to my obsession, along with the justified knowledge of the purity of his heart when it comes to me, when we’re together, he turns into a different person-the one person I fell in love with the day we met, has taken it’s toll on me and if he wanted to push me away, he has truly succeeded this time and I just can give anymore.
And truly hear me when I say that my Virgo has not ever tried to tell me or suggest these same things to me. He wants what is best for me, he wants me to do things, he wants me to have more goals, he does want me to focus on myself more.
But I agree-I’ve been clinging to every bit of the education I can on the Virgo-I guess that’s why I seem to have a very good take on them. I knew in my heart that he does love me, but he will not chip away that barrier he has over his heart to let me in more.
(shrugs shoulder) I’m just so tired, and I know God can give myself the strength I need to let him go. He only knows what’s gonna happen with Jeff and I know that I need to move on and be more true to myself.
Thank you, again, from the bottom of my heart where it’s been floating in the left over waters for shedding more light on the issue for me. I appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey wendy, bless you, it is so difficult, weve all been in tuff relationships,and hung on for the wrong reasons,,do what your heart tells you at the end of the day, so long as theres no violece, ive wasted 9yrs in wrong relationships wiv 2guys, and as soon as i got out, i breathed a huge sigh of relief and kicked myself for not doing it sooner, but mine were destructive in other ways., be strong, do what makes you happy, maybe call his bluff, face to face, if he runs he runs the you truly know, uve given 3 yrs to him, thats alot big hug xxx
As I read all the post the one that struck me the most was Wendy’s posts: I feel for you. I think you’re in so deep that you have no control of yourself. It’s clear this guy upsets you and he’s driving you crazy. No one should be with anyone that makes them feel sad, hurt or out of control. Good relationships are not like that at all.
Here’s part of your post:
So my son and I got new phones and he was checking it out, and he asked me if I was still taking with my virgo and I said yes and that he could actually go ahead and put his name back in my contacts, so my son was putting his name in, and he said to me, oh wait a minute, I wrote the wrong name and he then named him “butthead ” It was so cute, but so true and correct. Ever my son gets pissed off at the roller coaster that my virgo puts me through.
You do realize that you are teaching your son that it’s ok to treat women like the Virgo guys is treating you and not to mention keeping you son’s life upside down. Be a mother first and foremost and dump the guy once and for all.
Dear LibraLovesBalance:
I thank you very much for your concern, and actually welcome the input that I have not been listening to for those 3 years.
In a sense, on my defense, my son and I have a beautiful and friendly relationship, as well, as being hi strict mother, and I’ve shared these things with him out of the purest of intentions regarding the fact that this is how you’re not to treat a woman, but yes I do see your side to the downfall of the situation regarding me always going back to Jeff.
With that said, you’ll all be glad to hear that, once again, I have finally made headway with the person staring back at me in the mirror and know that I have to move on. It is very painful, yes, but no one ever said life would be full of roses, but instead just rose colored glasses.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when they see the light-bulb come on–well that time is for me now and just keep me in your prayers to help give me strength during this heartache that I have to go through first.
I will always be there for him as a friend whenever he may need me and I will truthfully love him more than words or feelings can say alone, but at least now I know that I’m the one in control and know when to say NO when he wants to have his cake and seat it too, so to speak. I can never do something that someone has not done for me-he really is a great man that anyone would be blessed to call “friend” and a very good man inside of his cold heart.
Thank you all so very much for your insight and your support. I truly appreciate it.
Hi All, well wendy, I always have a rule, i dont stay friends with EXs i dont leave the door open so the man feels he can come back ,( for sex or emotional support) If he Doesnt Want u as a GIRLFRIEND, HE DOESNT GET AS A FRIEND, I disagree, UNLESS U have A CHILD together, CUT Him out of Ur Life, To allow u to fully get over him….!!!! Ive always done that.. i watch my friends stay friends with guys,and really, its NOT Great, men go back to EXs because its easy and they think they dont have to do the LEG Work,and U need to Spell it out to him, UR CUTTING TIES, and U want to move on with Ur life, which doesnt include him,And his controlling..IF U STAY FRIENDS, AS U SAID U WERE FRIENDS WIV BENEFITS, HE WILL THINK he can still USE u.. hugs xxxxxxx
I recently started hanging out with a virgo, and im not sure where this is leading, since the whole conversation is just via text. i tried to get him to hang out with me, and even thou he says yes, he goes on and does something else. i don’t know what that means. but he has been really nice to me so far, and i have not yet encountered the cold and mean side everyone talks about. too soon yet?
but id like to share something he told me about the kind of woman he likes. he likes:happy, independent and strong, beautiful and funny.
So ya , i just thought i should share
hi there, well doesnt matter what he says he likes, because they DO completely the opposite lol… the one i like started off full on calling, texts the lot, we had a fab first date.. then i let him down on the 2nd one, nothin i cudve done, then he went away, then i contacted him on his bday, then nothin, tried again a wk and half ago RANDOM REPLY….PURE DENIAL….so cold its wrong, but im gutted, dont get ur hopes up :0) ive played hard to get,and opened up and neither works :-S
I just read all this virgo stuff and I can’t believe how bang on it is! I recently connected with my HS virgo boyfriend. In HS he was so sweet and honest and I ended up breaking his heart back then. Because he nit picked about my eye liner and my clothes etc. Friendly enough parting back then. Well 20 years later we connect. He just does the push and pull thing so much my head is spinning! I could marry him today and be so happy. He is a great man. But as of this week, we are “friends’ …he wants to be my friend…okay….but then he seems to act like a whole lot more. So I try to not text him…then he texts me, so I try to play it cool but it’s so hard. He’s never been married but says he wants to one day. But we are just friends. Not to mention he told me I could use some DDR the other day and I was p’d off! He apologized several times but I had to cool down for a day or so. I forgave him of course and now he is acting like my “buddy”. Like I’m a guy friend. I know he is worth it if he ever decides to let go and just enjoy being in a relationship with me. His mean comments really hurt….and I know he doesn’t mean them but they still hurt me. Then he gets hurt when he hurts me. I see it in his face. Tonight……..he texted “I think the world of you, I really do”. What’s that supposed to mean? Do guys talk to other guys like that?
So confused in the desert.
@LIbraD:
I think he’s into you, I really do. Make a move on him and see what happens… but play that push and pull till then.. it’ll keep him interested.
Thanks for the encouragement! I will hang in….
LibraD:
It’s exactly what it means: “I think the world of you, I really do”
When he does have his heart in the right place, which is to care about you and adore you and miss you and remember his hurt from all the way back to HS, he thinks it might happen again, so he tests the waters and goes very very very slow with these comments that are just enough to make you forget anything nagging he ever said. That’s his way of making it up to you, in a sense. He really does care for you. After the 3 years, I think I know my virgo pretty well, it took him 3 years and me being gone a month for him to even tell me he misses me and then gave me this elaborate erotic massage, which it not his style, but he knew it was romantic enough with all the candle he so perfectly placed neatly everywhere for me just to let me know that he really did miss me and want to see me happy-the romantic way I’ve been on his ass about rather than making me always feel like I’m a friend one minute and then his lover as if we’re in a relationship the next minute. I keeping to my guns this time, though. He can’t play cat and mouse with my heart and he has to realize that some time-and I’m so tired that I’m ready to make him really understand what it means to miss someone. Good luck, just play cool with him and don’t text him-let him text you, but please please please there are enough games in relationships that are just unnecessary-don’t play head games and tell him how you feel and then if he gets cold-back off. But don’t play the push and pull-it breaks too many hearts in the end when nothing is said but silence. You’ll still always be wondering “WTF talk to me open up damn it!”
How can anyone think they are dating a guy if it’s all via text message? Ladies
come on stop cutting yourself short. So many men out in the world, why would you settle for via text and no real date or a man that’s drives you crazy with his silence.
Wendy you are the shizzz! That is all I have to say!
Thank you Sign of Freedom, I appreciate that. However, I’m not a very good person who practices what she preaches, so to speak. I can’t even keep ahold of my Virgo long enough for him to tell me exactly how he feels other than telling me he misses me after 3 years of this so called relationship. Wish I knew how to get him to open up after all these years. He’s so closed and really makes me not wanna care anymore, no matter how deep my love for him runs through my veins.
Wendy: How can you say you love someone that does these things to you? If you like torturing yourself day after day,wekk after week. It’s silly