Aquarius man acting very distant
November 17, 2006 by Jeffrey Kishner
It’s not an act, honey. Your Aquarius man is very distant.
Aquarius is an air sign. This element is associated with the mind. Like his brothers Libra and Gemini, Aquarius is not very in touch with his feelings.
In addition, the Water Bearer is ruled by Uranus, a planet that is literally and figuratively not of this world. Your guy feels at home thinking about the sky (astrophysics, astrology), not mundane earthly matters like intimate relationships. In fact, he’s just not that into … intimacy (thought I had you there!). The collective, the group — he does care about humanity, but he is concerned by virtue of his objective distance.
Aquarius is also an independent sign. He does not like to be fenced in. And since Aquarius is an unyielding fixed sign, your very act of pushing him to be emotionally present with you rings his alarm. In response, he becomes stubbornly closed off to you.
What to do? Give him some space … he’ll show up for you when he’s had time to sort this out in that brilliant noggin of his.
Comment below: How have you dealt with a distant Aquarius man?
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Oh oh oh! And this sentence – “All the amazing things that have happened to me in my life have slipped out through my fingers, like ashes in the wind.”
OH! I simply love the way he speaks, although aquas generally do have a fondness for the rhetoric of other aquas, even if its not the same type as our own. But Xanthe, it soooo reminds me of one of my favorite song lyrics. I’m not even quite sure why it’s my favorite, maybe it resonates on a level so deep i am even unaware of it. But it states “Please, remember me. My misery. And how it lost me all I wanted.”
Oh, he is quite the creature isn’t he? No wonder he impacts you so greatly.
@ Leonine – Thanks ever so much. Without further ado, I’m off to google cord-cutting. I can’t bear this any longer, it’s ruining my life, as well as indirectly, also my own family’s. Sometimes I’m so in pain I just want to shout out loud: “Please, someone make this stop!!” I have honestly never felt like this about an ex – anywhere near! – and it’s just not acceptable or healthy. I’m also quite disappointed with myself. I NEED to snap out of this, dammit – it’s ridiculous! Yes, Cancer hubby is a wonderful man and husband, but unfortunately, this time he cannot protect me from all this pain. Needless to say I’ve told him everything about A.: I would feel dishonest not telling me about such a deep involvement with an ex. By the way, though Scorpio is the sun sign I’m least familiar with, I do have one Scorpio friend (female) and indeed she is extremely loyal. I feel safe with her! Her sting in the tail is always constructive – she does it to squeeze more honesty out of me or to provoke me in a positive way. Did your ex do this as well? Or does she, rather?
@ Countess – Regarding your quote: “But listen to me carefully. This sentence – “I have hated you not as an enemy, but as a false friend”. Oh dear women, this is hurt of epic proportion. This is an aqua showing an extreme amount of pain and disillusion of something he that was deathly important to him. Ohh i ache hearing those words.”
OK, I’m not an Aqua, but I am a human being and I feel the tremendous amount of ache in those words. But Countess, A. is a depressive and an alcoholic, please don’t forget that. He is simply not rational right now, and has literally gotten me to embody ALL his alleged enemies, making me become the scapegoat of his choice. I’m the face of all the people who’ve ever hurt him, to the point that he will sabotage any attempt of mine to talk things over, and he has done it with immense cruelty. A couple of friends think he has never stopped loving me (or did until he told me about that false friend thing). Maybe so – but it’s not an issue, IMO. It may flatter my ego thinking about it, but the matter has gotten so complicated it has actually become a detail (besides, I’m not certain that it’s the case, either). The fact is A. was not this bad eight years ago. He has really gone off the rails quite like this, and in the last year and a half my intention was to do nothing but benefit him, make his life better. 2009 was HIS year – I dedicated the better part of it to him – to boost his confidence, soothe his demons out of him, and on a practical level, help him have his dues from life. He writes so beautifully, mainly because he’s such an extraordinary soul, and doesn’t even realise how talented he is. I managed to find him not one, but TWO publishers willing to publish his book! Do you know many first-time authors to whom that has happened? And when he chose the smaller, lesser known, more independent publisher and everyone told him he was crazy, I was the only person hushing everyone and telling them they had no right to judge him or his choice, that he usually had more vision than anyone I knew on these matters anyway, and bla bla. I have always championed him and he has called me his amazon (which is why I use this term to describe Aries women now).
Countess, I have been nothing but the truest of friends to him – anyone could see the evidence of this. I have loved A. like no other man on earth and have offered to neutralise his demons for him (which isn’t possible – everyone has to slay their own dragons, but you offer to do odd things when you love someone). What is devastating to me is that he seems to have thrown all these treasures I’ve offered him with my heart, truly the most precious I had, out the window all in one go. And then he spat on them. All that solid, eternal, shimmering friendship and esteem and LOVE, in the highest and truest sense of the word, he has trashed it all. THAT’S what I can’t get over. I’ve even gladly, and consciously adapted certain aspects of myself for him, not so much changed them radically, as softened them out, relegating them to the background, which for an Aries is the ultimate act of love, as we are fiercely defensive of our individuality, to the point of paranoia. He may be very hurt, but he is treating me as his scapegoat, and what’s unacceptable to me is that he has chosen ME of all people! If he wanted to see it, all the evidence of my true friendship and love is there for everyone to see. If he doesn’t want to see it, I can’t MAKE him. But the pain that this will provoke in ME will probably not go away anytime soon. It seems to be getting more intense with every passing month. To me, his refusal to see things objectively about me means: “I don’t care enough. I need a scapegoat for all my suffering and it shall be you, whether that is fair or not.”
I admitted my faults, I apologised, I put silenced my pride, but I also stood my ground, as I had every reason and right to. He proceeded to simply destroy me. I’m gonna follow Leonine’s advice and cut that cord, now. It’s self-defense, honest to God – because as it is I still fervently wish for us to be friends again – in fact there is nothing I wish for more, still. I need to beat that wish out of me, though, as it’s destroying my well-being and even having a negative impact on my family’s life. OK, enough of me. I’m getting sick of the sound of my own voice. As ever, thanks for all your wisdom, guys.
@ Countess, Re us both being mothers of Aquas; this is what my ex A. said when I told him my son was born of Feb. 2nd: (laughing): “Oh, an Aquarius. Poor you! I hope you don’t go through the same hell that my parents went through with me. We’re like drunken boats in a stormy sea” (this comes from my having once sent him the poem “Le bateau ivre”, the drunken boat, by Arthur Rimbaud, saying it reminded me of him).
Xanthe, I think you must, or you could end up quite poorly. I think Leo and Aries are similar in that we’re quite masculine (regardless of our gender or appearance)so we tend to give. Giving isn’t always positive, especially when it’s not balanced with taking. Also, giving isn’t always a generous thing, for example, when we’re giving people negative attention and criticising them etc. But the point is, we drain ourselves and the way to replenish is to do… nothing. You’ll find it hard, I know I do. But try to let it all wash over you, everything that has happened, and let it go. The more attention you focus upon it the more it brings it into the present and into your life now, despite the fact that you have no longer have contact with each other. If there’s anything to be salvaged between you, you’ll get it back cos the tide will wash it up for you.
xx
@xanthe – i wasn’t meaning to imply his hurt was founded or that you were at fault or even responsible for it.. only that this is what he subjectively feels. and destructive people, especially alcoholics and addicts, will almost ALWAYS hold someone else accountable for their own misery. The saying misery loves company should be tattooed on their foreheads. I know this from first hand experience from my ex.
as for cord cutting, sometimes the cord unravels on its own, which is what happened with me and my ex. In my experience, what i found worked from me was to take a sort of zen stance towards it as the actual act of cutting the cord was too traumatic for me. I used to repeat in my head kind of esoteric mantras like “I am this and he is that and everything is how it should be for this moment.” And then i physically and mentally tried to exist in a space of nothingness, if that makes any sense. Eventually, the cords that bind wither because there is no energy keeping them in tact. And one day, they just snap apart.
Not saying this method is the right one or the one that would work for you, just offering my own experience.
And also its good to keep in mind with any addicted person, they are not in their right mind, so don’t give any more weight to their words or actions than you would some crazy person on the street. They’re simply not right.
@ Leonine, thanks for your last post, it oozes sincere empathy and really is a much-needed reminder from a fellow fire sign. It’s great how I’m getting all the necessary insight to decipher A. from eden’s folly and Countess, and then all the right advice and support specifically for ME from you and namida, fellow fire signs. Obviously the help crosses over as well – it’s not like astrology is as clear-cut as that, thankfully. What you’re saying, Leonine, is instinctively what I know to be true, and have known since my first major argument with A. back in November.
You’re so very right about the giving and taking thing being unhealthy when it’s very lop-sided. But then it often is with A., as I think that secretly, he believes himself to be so unique and special that the mere fact he’s in your life is already something huge he’s giving you. It sounds big headed, I know, and it is, but it’s also part speculation on my part, that he feels this way. You’re also spot on about the criticising thing. But I can say with absolute honesty that any criticism that may have been targetted at A. has been compensated by a far more generous helping of praise. Yes, we fire sign women are indeed quite masculine (so, were you the “man” when you were with your Scorpio?). I guess that’s also why A.’s taking a “break” from us fire sign women (Sagi gal and me) and throwing himself in the arms of the Taurus lawyer (so earthy and sensuous and reassuring in a very feminine, male ego-boosting way)… and oh, that Pisces ditz. She’s totally unthreatening, always thinks he’s right, writes stuff on his blog and FB wall which is the equivalent of a groupie throwing her knickers at a rockstar on stage during a concert, etc. Apparently, this is what he needs right now.
Unfortunately, A.’s Sagi girlfriend, H., has had a major role in the whole matter of A. and I falling out so badly. Let’s just say that had H. never existed, or had she and I never become friends, none of this would have happened. Back in September, A. got back from a long journey abroad (hint: his book is sort of a travel book). Then in October, while I was giving birth to my daughter, he and H. were in Germany for the Frankfurt book fair, where he was meeting his publisher and doing some talks. Now, H. and A. had not been together for a very long time – many months, and she was naturally overjoyed to be in Germany with him, though it was just for three days. When I wrote A. an email saying: “What a shame that H. can only be with you for three days, huh?”, he replied: “No, my little darling (he was always very affectionate), three days was exactly the right amount of time.” Now, this is a guy who hadn’t seen his girlfriend (he doesn’t call her that, btw) for many months. If I remember well, I got that email from A. 48 hours before giving birth. So as you can imagine, A. and H.’s relationship was the last of my worries at the time. Still, I knew then that H. was up for a very rude awakening. But to be honest, at the time I was understandably very detached from it all.
By the time A. got back from Germany, he was due to begin a tour of talks in our country to present his book, something like a talk in about 15-20 different towns and cities (a real tour de force!). At the time my daughter had been born just a few weeks. One day a forlorn H. rang me to tell me in a teary voice that A. had made it clear he didn’t want her to accompany him on his tour, asking her to participate only to a couple (he would decide which ones, too). At that point I was asking myself why the hell A. wasn’t calling it a day with H., as it was clear that he didn’t love her. But still, I wasn’t about to interfere, and busy as I was with my new baby and a jealous toddler, A. and H. were honestly not foremost in my thoughts.
But I was heartbroken when I had to give up going to see A.’s talk when his tour brought him to the city nearest me (my daughter was literally just 3 weeks old then!). That was around the time that H. started ringing me and texting me on an almost daily basis, pouring all her pain out to me. Since I’m an ex of A.’s, she knows that I know what he’s like, so I’ve always been agony aunt number one to her (in contrast, A. has always accurately avoided talking about H. with me). Now, H. is a wonderful, caring person and by no means whiny or clingy (hey, she’s a Sag!), but at that specific time she was truly a wreck, and even started taking anti-depressants and days off work. There were times when A. had one week or ten days between one talk and the next, but he would barely bother to organise his spare time to spend it with H. Sometimes he’d disappear for three days in a row in some unknown town, and no one would have a clue what he’d be up to – it’s as if he’d disappear in a black hole. What’s REALLY unfortunate was that H. was also having health scares at the time (one of her cervical smears had yielded a dodgy result), as well as problems on the work place. But A. was nowhere to be seen or heard, not even via email or phone. His girlfriend of (on and off) six year’s standing was waiting to hear whether she had cervical cancer, and he was anywhere but with her, even emotionally. He was too busy travelling right, left and centre to meet his new fans, drinking himself unconscious almost every night (the texts and emails he sent me whilst drunk are really something!), rescuing and er… sexually awakening damsels in distress whose lives had changed forever after reading his book (groan!)… you catch the drift.
Meanwhile, I was blissfully cocooned in the warmth of my nest with my new baby, feeling as if the world outside our doorstep was a far-off place. But H. called me almost every day by then, and those post-partum hormones, which made me unstable and gave me a heightened sense of empathy, soon took their toll. I was honestly in pain for H., and started getting really angry with A. There I was, enjoying my second motherhood, while she was all alone, suspecting she might have cervical cancer. The self-indulgent stuff I read on A.’s blog, the groupies’ comments, the fans, all this was starting to grate on me, too, as it was summed to H.’s suffering and the way that A. was ignoring HER. I initially wrote him a very civil note reminding him that H. was not well, saying: “It’s hard to get a hold of you these days – you’re like some sort of rockstar!” To my honest surprise he took DEADLY offense to the rockstar thing, which I’d even thought might flatter and amuse him. It bothered him probably because I hit a raw nerve, and probably because he was drunk most days and had no sense of perspective. So he sent back a scathing email, in which he said that I was like a woman slapping a peacefully sleeping child awake (take a wild guess who that poor, victimised, innocent child might be!). That was the first of a series of increasingly drama queenish emails and texts I started getting from him, none of which acknowledged, EVER, that he might have been ever remotely wrong on something, or less than perfect on anything. It’s easy to see how things started to degenerate from here… and honest to God, all this time I was also trying to be understanding, not just critical. But he wouldn’t see this… If I wrote him nine nice things and one not-so-nice thing, he would latch on to the latter and forget the former.
Also, he had no idea what it means for a woman who’d literally just given birth to receive those incoherent emails written at 2-4 PM, where a very drunken version of himself would write stuff about his internal hell having the better of him and his corpse having just been discovered in a schoolyard. One part of me was: “Yeah, sure: you’ve been reading too much Baudelaire, or something. Oh, grow up, for f***’s sake!, but another part of me was honestly worried, as his alcoholism is actually a reality, as is his depression. So, encouraged also by a professional councellor I’d casually spoken to who works with alcoholics, I unwisely decided to write to a mutual friend about A.’s condition. She was putting A. up at hers while he was on tour in her town. I basically told her to keep a discreet eye on him while he stayed at hers (honest to God, I was WORRIED!). Even more unwisely, this silly bint decided to openly tell A. that I’d written to her about his alcoholism! This gave the drunken, depressed version of A. the impression that I was sending emails by the dozens, advanced warning the entire world about his sick, wicked, decadent, drunken, debauched self coming to town (or something).
So, I most welcome the cord cutting thing, now. In fact I’ve decided I won’t get in touch with A., or even look at his blog for at least a further 6 months, maybe even a year. By then I hope I’ll be so detached from the whole matter, it won’t even matter whether and when he and I will be in toich again. Most of all, though, I need to silence that urge for justice, that urge to fight for the PRINCIPLE that is like an obsessive illness with us Ariens (how about Leos?).
Have you seen or heard from monk-man, Leonine? You said he has no family: does that mean he’s not from Manchester, or that they’re all dead?
OH MY GOD! I can’t believe how much I’ve written. I must look like I’m totally obsessed and out of my mind! This is starting to make me cringe with embarrassment. Countess, I just read your new post – you’re right, I should never forget that A. is an addict. But now it’s me who’s looking like the bigger wacko, pouring thousands and thousands of words on a single subject to perfect strangers!
DAMN!!! Not good. Maybe concentrating on how pathetic all this is will finally persuade me to snap out of it, whichever way I decide to severe that cord.
Xanthe – all dead. Nobody left at all, and unlikely to have kids.
Yeah I did pop and see him where he works recently, it feels nice to maintain a bit of face-to-face now and then. And we are obviously in touch every day.
Wow, it sounds as though his girlfriend has been happy to take from you as well. I guess if somebody perceives you as strong they think you’re a bottomless pit.
I know what you mean about justice, and there are times when the unfairness of somebody’s behaviour really enrages me. The last couple of years I seem to be more able to let go and take this kind of thing in my stride; it’s just too pointless and destructive otherwise. I’ve come to that the hard way, though. He’s just on his path and she is on hers and you are on yours. Ultimately we have to let it go, but I know exactly how it feels to feel frustrated with somebody when you can clearly see where they’re going wrong! I think we’re quite similar.
xx
btw, re my scorpio ex, it’s complicated but basically no, I wasn’t the man; I would have to say neither of us was. But she is slightly more butch and I am a lot more mouthy and bossy, so I don’t really know!
TheCountess i find you so intellectually sexy..
Xanthe you an incredible writer actually you are both so detailed on expressing your situations.
I like obsessed writing.. i so want to have drinks with you haa..lol
=)
As tough as TheCountess is she loves her family( and the man of her dreams) so deep that she would beat someone to a pulp if they were to ever cross or hurt any of them. I adore such amazing Aqua woman and try my hardest to not fall so fast for them yet they are gracefully hippie chic gorgeous. As a scorpio my probs is i put a woman on a pedestal yet any one of you would look her over and know she was never right for me..
With maturity/ aqau training and humbleness a scorpio can be just the right sexy incredible.. fill your dreams over the horizon kind of guy.. yet we suck when we get hurt.
Leonine. I know what you mean about justice, and there are times when the unfairness of somebody’s behaviour really enrages me.
Well said I so have been used, taken, money stolen, liars, cheaters, on and on
Just finding someone that can just say to me leave it.. there Karma,,,what goes around comes around.. reap what they sowed..they will get theres..
So hard for me not to get justice yet i have experienced sitting back and watching someones life fall apart who caused me pain.
@Xanthe
Your relationship with H that started at the time when you just have given birth may not just have been your hormones. Maybe the camaraderie with H gave you validation to all the pain that A has put you through. As crazy as everything is, you and H have seen hell and was sharing the pain. I don’t know if it’s an Arien thing but it’s good to feel needed right? If I were in your situation I might feel like my presence is validate.
BUT ANYWAY. Right now, YOU need YOU the most. Man. I know how it can be when I want to get to the bottom of things, even when you are just trying to cut the cord. You really want to take a giant pair of scissors and do it until it’s absolutely unrepairable. I think you said before we tend to want things black & white, all or nothing — but don’t drive yourself crazy over keeping a hard line or a schedule. It’s good to keep him out of your life right now, but I also like theCountess’ advice and just step back for a moment. Any maybe gradually take more steps back and let the cord wear out on its own. I find it easy to work myself into a “I don’t care mentality”. Caring about how getting stuck at those unanswered questions or cryptic words from A in the past will just build pain for you. I don’t mean to spit out advice like I know exactly how to heal but reading what you’ve gone through, it’s just wow. Time to really let it go.
I see myself being stuck in the same situation in terms of being fixated with things in the past that I can’t do anything about. I’m learning as I go along but I just wanted to offer some light.
@Scorps – you get the naughty cheeky smile for that comment sir. Mine in particular, is only one side of my mouth that turns up into the smile. Strangely enough, it’s become of sort of trademark to ht men that have been closest to me. Almost all of them make note of it.
You know what i find AMAZING about you scorpios? You know people before you really know them. Idk if i had ever said anything about beating someone to a pulp but anybody that knows me in real life knows what i’m capable of. /if somebody proposed the question, “Would she kill for her family?” Any of my long time friends would be like “Kill? Kill? She would drag their entrails up and down the street with her bare hands, cook it in a bon fire and feed it to rabid dogs.” But yet, i dont believe (At least that i can remember) ever mentioning anything of the sort on here. But then again, i’m not always aware of how i project myself. I’m always surprised when someone observes me accurately. And hippie chic gorgeous?! I couldnt have described it better myself! I even wear patchouli mixed in with real jasmine in my own created perfume. My scorpio just recently (after two years) has admitted he’s not particularly fond of the smell and couldnt place what it was until a friend pointed it out. H’s not opposed to it, just not a fan of it.
Aquas and scorpios are such a curious combination. Not an easy one, but a very interesting one…for both sides.
@ namida – Yes, definitely: the camaraderie thing was there big time, not to mention that H. expressed herself in a way that made absolute perfect sense to me, after months of feeling like I’d been dragged into a parallel dimension by A., where everything was slightly askew. I could most definitely see myself reflected in H.’s plight, to a point that it hurt. Meanwhile, she was living vicariously through my second motherhood, as she has long wished for A. to get her pregnant, but knew it was simply never gonna happen (and now there she was, wondering whether she had cervical cancer!). Not only is H. a fellow fire sign, but with my brother also being a Sagittarius, this is a sign I’m very familiar with. As an Aries it’s best not to underestimate our basic differences with Sags, though. Unlike us rams, knocking down obstacles with our own heads, and potentially hurting ourselves in the process, the centaurs shoot their firey arrow from a safe distance. We invest all of ourselves in the blunt words we utter, whereas Sags just don’t. Also, being a mutable sign they let go much more easily than we do, and can even appear fickle and superficial to us, not to mention careless.
When you fight a battle with a Sag as your ally, which is tempting to do as there’s much instinctive kinship between us, in the thick of that battle you’ll feel gratified, as you get the feeling they’re doing exactly what you’re doing, and for the same reasons. But the aftermath will reveal that your wounds are much deeper and you’ll take a lot longer to heal than they will. I’m also thinking of my brother and I and our conflicts with our parents, of which there have been many. He has always managed to flush the poison out of himself so easily afterwards, whereas I’d take such a very long time to get over the hurt.
You’re spot on about Aries loving nothing more than feeling needed, and from what Leonine has said, it’s probably the case with Leos as well. It really did gratify me that H. cared for my opinion and participation, but in retrospect I’m angry with myself for not realising that I was playing with fire and ought to have been protecting myself instead, especially at such a delicate time. H. ought to have been wiser than to drag me in like that (Leonine is right: many people often think you’re a bottomless pit of strength if you appear confident and well-adjusted). Sometimes we Aries are even TOO brave in accepting a challenge, too much for our own good anyway. No one is gonna think we’re cowards or lacking in loyalty if we turn down a challenge or two to protect ourselves – it’s something we often learn the hard way as we get older, I think. As I said, until H. started pouring her heart out to me I was barely invested in her and A.’s love matters anyway. But falling in the trap of allowing someone to make me too involved on a matter of principle that I wasn’t even involved in originally, not at that specific time anyway, and then paradoxically my getting more hurt than anyone else as a result, is an Arien fatal flaw that I possess in embarrassing doses. Add to that the fact that post-partum hormones do make your ability to feel involved and empathic almost pathological, and you have a recipe for disaster!
That’s why, when I read your accounts of interaction with your Aqua/s, J. and now T., I feel apprehensive. I feel a slight twinge of pain inside just reading your words, and feeling your confusion, anxiety and frustration, yet also observing how hooked you are, and probably with very good reason. I’m sorry if this sounds mommyish or patronising (I don’t mean it that way!), but I almost want to reach out and protect you, though, as if to shield you from a possible, imminent blow. You may not necessarily be up for one, but I can see myself reflected in your words and in your situation. Well, not entirely, but there are more than enough similarities in our scenarios. My tendancy would be to dissuade you from continuing to see T., but I know that my judgement on the matter is heavily influenced by the devastating sense of disillusionment I’m going through right now.
By the way, I have to agree with Countess that T. doesn’t sound like your typical Aquarian male, though probably there is no such thing (A. just happens to be the living stereotype of one!). To Arien ears the sentences he’s said that you wrote sound very alarming indeed. In our language the stuff he has said would simply spell out: “Look, I’m not interested. Look elsewhere”, though having been through my experience with A., I know that interpreting what they say by using an Aries yardstick is not the right way to go. I don’t know how long you and T. have been involved, but one extremely bewildering thing that A. told me about three months after we started seeing each other, was: “We’re not actually in a relationship. This isn’t a relationship for me. It’s just never gonna happen that way. I’ll always be there for you, though.” I remember finding this comment kind of offensive and uncalled for, actually, as I thought it implied I was being clingy and demanding. I had been talking about relationships, but in a general way. His comment was kind of like someone inviting you over to theirs for coffee, and then, as soon as you make yourself comfortable on their livingroom sofa, your host saying something like: “You’re welcome to stay here in the livingroom, but I’m never gonna let you into the bedroom.” Though it may never have been your intention to wander into their bedroom, hearing your host say something like that would be likely to suddenly not make you feel very welcome in their livingroom, either! Does that make any sense? I mean, is it necessary to spell out something like that? In fact, at that point you may even wanna get up and say: “OK, whatever… I’m not gonna bother you for a minute longer, then… byeeee!”
Well, namida, I hope you won’t resent me for dampening your enthusiasm for T., now! In fact I had better shut up altogether – I’m not the best person to listen to right now. As I said, I’m totally biased and have no evidence whatsoever to predict things may not somehow work out between you and T., even in unexpected ways.
@ Leonine, I’ve just read a couple of sites on cord-cutting. It really is amazing how some archetypical images keep cropping up, even in people’s conversation without them even realising. The bridge thing, for instance – I would say that “bridge” is very much a “power word”, the way that “tribe” is, that got everyone’s knickers in a twist when Countess last used it, haha!
I have to say, though, that you guys on this website are REALLY helping me. I never would have thought that a handful of women on an astrology site – and a fairly playful one at that (I mean, c’mon, “sasstrology”!), would have been this beneficial in the space of just a few weeks. Thanks, again. The empathy is sincere and on a more rational plane Countess really helped me when she put things into perspective simply by reminding me that A. is an addict, specifically an alcoholic, and that I shouldn’t take what he says personally anymore than I would a crazy drunken homeless guy in the street. I knew this, but I needed someone else to say it, somehow. I guess I tend to cling on to the memory I have of A., another form of misplaced loyalty, perhaps.
Regarding bridges and rivers, Countess, here are a couple more lines that have been uttered by A. in the past which you might find interesting:
(after an argument): “The river that separates our two opposite banks is flooding right now.”
(after reconciling): “We can start rebuilding our relationship on the ruins and rubble of the old one.”
The mother of all drama queens, or what?!
And also:
(in lieu of an apology, after yet another argument where he’d been a bit of a prick): “I have seen the darker sides of your soul and they are but one hundredth part of mine.”
@ scorps: Sincere thanks for that beautiful compliment, which made my day, both regarding my writing and your wanting to share a drink with me. I would love that, too! Perhaps you could then tell me once and for all where I went wrong that one time I tried to seduce a male Scorpio. I was nowhere near as successful as Countess, though. This was back in 2003, months before meeting my husband. We (the Scorpio and I) were both very attracted to each other, too. He was tall (very tall), dark and devastatingly handsome. He was also a little shy, which to me is a turn-on. I thought everything was going so well between us, then something went mysteriously pear-shaped. I’ll probably never know what or why, though! Should I pop over to the Scorpio board and discuss the matter, sir?
OMG! I think I might have been the victim of a psychic vampire attack. Looking over this website, I’ve discovered that I’m experiencing all of these symptoms:
Symptoms of Psychic Attack
leaky or diminishing aura
dizziness
loss of energy
muscle tension
mental confusion
headaches
chronic fatigue
sleep disturbances
irritability
depressed mood
physical illness
Sorry, everyone, for posting so many times in a row, but I forgot to say one thing to namida. It’s amazingly insightful of you to have made this comment:
“but don’t drive yourself crazy over keeping a hard line or a schedule.”
Haha! Oh boy. Talk about being martial. You sure know everything there is to be known about being an Aries, don’t you?
hello everyone, i was……….well you know, being an aqua i guess. went away for a bit but checking in tonight and reading all the posts. great posts by the way by everybody! i love it!
Xanthe, it sounds more like A. RIPPED his cord out of you rather than a psychic vampire. D can spot them whenever they enter his place of business. they do suck the energy out of you tho. in either case you could use a huge dose of positive energy to heal. when you lay down for the night. try to still your mind and slow your breathing. imagine a beautiful silvery blue healing light filling your lungs with each breath you take. hold it in a few seconds, and let it permeate your being with it’s healing glow. then as you exhale, imagine this beautiful light taking away with it, all the hurt and pain and negative energy from within. it will cleanse and repair your chakras etc.
sorry i was gone a bit. D and i were, well we went somewhere kind of spur of the moment. we get lost together.
as i read over the posts i’ve missed these words came along and so i put them in order and give them to you Xanthe.
Love poem
casting coals from love’s flame to the sea
they fall as glowing embers in the dim twilight each one
like neon lamps lit gently floating to their demise
suspended in disbelief. i embrace you no more.
loves last breath lays her spirit down all around us
and whispers from beneath the forlorn sea………..singing a soft dirge
….. darling i love you, still.
i think it’s ok to let these bad feelings come, allow them their moment, and then to let them go. it’s sad. painful. you can let go and still seem to find a bit of love in your heart for another no matter how bad the circumstances became. maybe alittle different kind of love than when you first began. it’s possible. the only way i have ever found to get over such pain another has caused is to forgive. that is the only way. forgive him the hurt he has caused and you will be set free. im not saying that happens over night. but you gotta start somewhere. and the road may be arduous before getting there.
i’m sorry i may be taking off again. usually don’t know till it happens. will check in tho. this forum is addictive!
spring is almost here.
gotta run
Spring is definitely here! I, too, am enjoying the posts.
Enjoy your adventures, eden’s folly, and very good advice too.
Hope all are well.
xx
Good morning, everyone, and eden’s folly with an especially warm smile.
Great to have you and your astonishing wisdom & insight back, lovely lady. And it’s nice to imagine that you were away somewhere with D., enjoying those first signs of new life stirring in nature. Are the daffodils out in England yet, Leonine? It snowed here a few days ago, actually! The snow hasn’t completely melted yet, but I can still make out the very first timid cherry blossoms on our cherry tree. At last! (and it’s my burthday on the 25th – what about you, namida? Are you a March or April Aries?)
Heartfelt thanks for the advice, eden’s folly – I’m gonna print your post (as well as everyone else’s) and take it to my parents-in-laws’ with me today. As it happens, straight after lunch my husband, children and I are off to celebrate my Pisces father-in-law’s 70th by staying at theirs over the weekend. They live a 5-hour drive from us. It’s not far from where H. lives as well. In fact, I’m probably gonna go see her on Sat afternoon. I’m part dreading it, in fact… but I really want to exorcise… something, I’m not quite sure what (perhaps the fact that I sort of view her as an accomplice of A.’s in having provoked all this pain, though on a rational level I know it was never her intention to harm me in any way?). I want to train myself to view her as something totally separate from A. She is actually someone I would definitely have been friends with even without A. having been a part of the equation! So yes, she is definitely worth it, and this for me is also a symbolic way of claiming my existential independence from A. Am I being too Aries-brave for my own good again…?
The cord image is especially fitting, eden’s folly and everyone, as I was also literally pregnant and giving birth when the bond between A. and I was being cemented a second time. And then, the spiritual cord between my week-old daughter was still firmly in place when the cord between A. and I was being so brutally destroyed by him. When exactly a year ago I had first told A. that I was expecting, he said (on hearing the word “pregnant” coming from me) that his heart had skipped a beat, as he had felt on a gut level as if the baby was his! (er… I hasten to add I have not had sex with this guy since Dec 2002, so please no one think ill of me!). Throughout my pregnancy A. had been very emotionally present, too, occasionally really coming out with stuff that only a father-to-be would say, or at any rate someone very emotionally invested with my pregnancy. He guessed my daughter’s gender before the ultrasound confirmd it, he kept saying that even at a distance he was stroking my tummy, putting his hand on it, etc. It was all a bit… odd, but I’d be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t also enjoy it. A lot, even, I’ll admit with a touch of embarrassment.
Simultaneously, A. and I were working on that book of his, and the involvement on so many levels was great. I also kept dreaming that I got pregnant from him, but in the dream I knew it wasn’t about a literal pregnancy, and even in my dreams there was nothing remotely erotic or sexual that had occurred between us. It was rather something symbolic to do with us having a common project and dream together (getting his book published, furthering his literary ambitions after years of feeling like a failure, like he didn’t have a role in the world, etc. – A. has had many nervous breakdowns in his life, has never finished university, etc).
Throughout both pregnancies (my daughter’s and the book’s), A. and I had spoken of how we would celebrate both the book and the baby together. Throughout last year’s spring and summer we created all these images of us celebrating both our professional success and the triumph of the miraculous new form that our relationship had taken. We may not have been boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, but love in a universal sense had triumphed and we had now created a deep new friendship, a profound non-sexual love based upon esteem, gratitude, mutual inspiration, trust, complicity, etc. As an Aries I allowed myself to trust A. completely, something that isn’t always easy for us to do. I was so happy then, was enjoying my literal pregnancy, and being generous came so easily to me – the greatest joy of them all.
But something awful – some sort of inexplicable curse happened soon after I had given birth to my daughter (furthermore, to tighten the bond between A. and my literal pregnancy, he had been the only person to support my wanting to have a home birth straight from the beginning! Which I did have, and it was an amazing experience. This was while he and H. were at the Frankfurt book fair back in mid-Oct). I think it was H. who was responsible for “deviating” me, making me become concerned with things I should and would never have gotten involved with in the first place, had she not poured her heart out at me every day at such an intense time (post-partum). I don’t blame her for it, as I realise how very much she must have been suffering, but I honestly think she made me do something I never would have otherwise done. As a result, an alcoholic and totally irrational A. perceived my apparent change of tone, which from his POV must have been so odd and out of character, as a betrayal.
Not only did that celebration for “giving birth” to the book (the very same that A. and lovingly evoked for months) never happen. In its place an ugly emotional mess unravelled and killed off all the beauty that had been created a minute earlier. When I received my translator’s copies of the book from the publisher in mid-Jan, a day that I had anticipated for months as taking the form of a joyous celebration with A. and everyone I cared for the most, I felt as if I had just been stabbed in the heart. Calling it an anti-climax is an understatement! Our “baby” was a stillborn, apparently, and I was in deep mourning with no one to share that pain with (I couldn’t tell my husband the details!). All this happened so, so soon after my LITERALLY giving birth, with all the hormonal, spiritual and symbolic implications that this has.
eden’s folly, I think you are spot on about A. having torn that cord away from me with such violence, actually (by the way, what are the things that D. identifies in a psychic vampire when they walk in through the door? Is it something beyond language?). A. did take without giving for a little while time before our falling out, both with myself and H. It was as if he was starting to take us for granted and was saving all the positive energy to give to the new people that he was planning to let into his life during his book tour. He wanted to play the role of the jaded, but empathic fou savant, hoping to impress and captivate the new people that were coming into his life. For the time being he had no time for us, especially not for H. And when I somehow became an ally of hers, he “punished” me one hundredfold and tore out that cord with his bare hands. There have been moments recently when I felt that I could have hated him for it, but the truth is that I don’t even blame him completely for everything that’s happened. He is an alcoholic – he’s probably going to be the unhappier, more helpless one in about a year or two’s time, not me. All the ugly, dishuman things that he does are a result of his present condition. Perhaps as it is, that Pisces ditz (who even tries to mimick his way of writing on his blog, without even realising it) IS the better friend for him at the moment. I have blamed myself for far too long for everything that’s happened, feeding myself off of this atrocious sense of regret. Only very recently have I stopped torturing myself with blame, though I still catch myself doing it once in a while (“If only I hadn’t said this… If only I could go back in time and say that instead…” I did it again yesterday, but only for a few seconds! I’m getting better).
So, I might not be able to post much while I’m visiting my parents-in-law, but I’ll be thinking about you all and shall take all these treasures that you’ve given me along on this very brief trip (by the way, eden’s folly, while I read that exercise of yours I couldn’t help evoking an image of my husband’s Cancerian face – it evokes moonlight and R. is such a moonchild through and through. Having a Cancer brother yourself, you probably know what I mean!). “Addictive” is totally the right word for this forum, by the way. The quality of the insights and the level of empathy is astonishing here, AND it’s fun! This is really what astrology ought to be all about. I really want to be more giving soon. As it is I am only taking when I pour all my pain out to you on this forum, and I feel a little guilty for it. It’s not like me to be so lop-sided with the giving-taking thing, honest. You’ll soon see!
@ Leonine – Oh, by the way – I’ve decided it’s pointless to continue hiding where I’m from, as I’ve given so many details about my life as it is. I’m Italian (as is A., R., H. and everyone I’ve been mentioning so far!). So you were almost right when you speculated I was Spanish. Xanthe is a character from a book I was reading when I started posting on sasstrology – it’s not actually my real name. A.’s book was translated from Italian to English by me, and it is also published in German (hence the trip there last autumn). You’d never have guessed my nationality if you’d seen my pic, though, as I’m a natural blonde with blue eyes.
Being Italian isn’t very cool these days, thanks to our prime minister and his mafia brigade in power, so I’m nowhere near as pleased to reveal my nationality as I was just a few years ago. Yes, it’s that bad! Worse, in fact.
Luv ya all!
Grazie mille – xx
That makes me want to cry, by the way… in a good way. Thanks!!
Love poem
casting coals from love’s flame to the sea
they fall as glowing embers in the dim twilight each one
like neon lamps lit gently floating to their demise
suspended in disbelief. i embrace you no more.
loves last breath lays her spirit down all around us
and whispers from beneath the forlorn sea………..singing a soft dirge
….. darling i love you, still.
TheCountess im like crazy about you haa..
seriously uggh..now i need you to beat someones ass who is a bitch bother me.. :=)
Xanthe – daffodils and croci, it’s all cold and sunny here. Unfortunately, I’m on a rare week of night shifts so I’ve barely seen any of it.
You must be a Northern Italian, then, if you’re fair? How’s the cord-cutting/loosening going?
I think i sometimes rip the cord from my scorpio. Not truly intentionally but not unknowingly. It’s usually when we’ve fought and if he lets me linger for too long without a word, i kinda of tantrum and pull back hard. At least mentally. Kinda like “well fine! I take it ALL back!”
Idk. Silly aquas.
@theCountess
“He lets me linger for too long without a word, i kinda of tantrum and pull back hard”
Heheh I’ve seen that before. Kinda comes from the same vein as Aquas disappearing and comes back and asks me where have I been, etc.
@Xanthe
My birthday is on the 27th. I’ve actually been sitting on whether or not I should invite T to my birthday party. Milestone birthday for me and ideally I’d want him to celebrate with me but 1) I worry how I might feel cuz he’s usually very cordial and it’s going to make me want him more/again. 2) There will be much liquor involved and even he doesn’t trust himself with me when he’s drunk 3) My friends have all expressed interest in proverbially kicking his ass if they ever see him again for hurting me. =/
More later everyone!
@ Leonine – I’m from Rome (central Italy), whereas my husband, A. and H. are all Northerners! But my dad is also from the North, from the region that Venice, Verona, etc are in. I’ve spent many years in the UK, though. Night shifts? Are you a doctor or a nurse?
@ TheCountess – God, yeah – you Aquas are a bloody handful. We could have done just as well with 11 sun signs. Who needs you guys anyway? You may as well all go and inhabit some colony in outer space, all you people born from 21st Jan to 19th (18th?) Feb. Oh, and take about half of those Virgos as well.
@ namida – I would invite T to your 30th (I’m assuming that is the milestone). Then I’d speak to everyone except him, or just for a few minutes now and again, sort of constantly slipping away with the sweetest smile ever.
I’m at my parents-in-laws’… gotta go…!
I am an Aquarius woman and I love being with an Aquarius man that is the best sign for me.
I have a twin brother and my mother is also an Aquarius both relationship’s where very hard for me to maintain alway’s a power struggle . but when it is love, romance, and sexual, it best with an Aquarius slender tall dark haired professional Puertorican smart kind soft spoken man. who I hope to see again. my Aquarius relationship’s are alway’s spiritual. except with my Brother and Mother. I always meet Libra men who find me attractive but I find them too much with having fun and not enough working on the relationship although I feel safe and grounded with libra men. But I feel like I’m the only person in the world with an aquarius man and loved.xoxox
Xanthe wow Italy I would love to go there one day and i am sure TheCountess would also. My mother is from Calabria Italy I think that is how it is spelled.
Tina
Wow I dated a Cuban America and i never had such everything and on top of it with a Gorgeous Latin adorable fun woman. Who would always disappear and then i would rescue her say 2times.. Rescue meaning she was sleeping with sex obsessed muslim man who broke her front door down and went thru all of her belongings. As Gorgeous as she was her life was always in turmoil.
Tina, yes i know what you mean. i am aqua and in a relationship with an aqua man. it does have a very spiritual kind of feel. we are still kind of new tho so i am still waiting to see if it will last. i think he’s been reading the aqua woman manual tho now by some of the comments he’s made lol.
to countess and scorps: ya i always said the most dangerous place on the planet someone could place themselves is not some battlefield, but that narrow space between me and my children. i think that is universal for most mothers. i have an aqua/cappy cusp son and aries daughter. i can call them home from the park with my mind and use the cord to pull them home when i need them to come. they were my grandparents in the last life. as it is, i see residue from that incarnation and have to laugh when they bicker like an old married couple.
about the cord ripping thing: it is NOT nice to rip your cord out of another. it causes extreme pain that is felt on your spirit body. your spirit is actually wounded and you leak and bleed life force energy from the wound. (which may actually make you feel like you are under a psychic vampire attack) but you are hemorrhaging energy rather than having someone suck it out of you. i think really some people are not aware the cord exists and therefore innocently do it to another. the problem is it harms your spirit. it is extremely difficult to make that heal than say if you have an injury here in the physical plane. see? it’s not like you can just put a bandage over it and take pain medicine. see? so to heal the spirit body wound you have to soak up “prana”. the gold light prana can repair chakras. Miss Xanthe if you were corded in the heart chakra by A. and this is where the cord was taken out of you, you probably have an extreme chakra injury. do the meditation with first the gold prana that comes in with each breath and imagine it going into the place that you feel the spirit pain first. if you see your husband’s face when you meditate, you are taking his energy and i’m kind of thinking he is ok with that. he is helping you to heal by giving you some of his energy.
about D. spotting the psychic vampires: he said they are rare actually. but he has seen a couple of them over the years he has been in retail. they have a darkness about them. he sees them shrouded. they do not possess energy of their own and it feels like profound emptiness. his spirit picks up on it. then the vampire picks up on the fact that they have been “made”. usually there is some kind of psychic “exchange” between D and the vampire. the vampire will leave after that. D tells me they have a malady of sorts where they are unable to retain the life force energy and are constantly in need of acquiring it from others. one actually tried to bleed D after D “made” him in the store. he won’t tell me what he did psychically to the vampire, but i think when the vampire approached him, he took what little energy the vampire had as the vampire tried to “feed” off him. note to self(don’t piss D off) lol.
D has warned me about walking around “open” all the time. but until i get hurt by it i’m going to do it. i leave myself “open” and pass energy off to anyone and everyone who is in need. so far no one has drained me too much. D doesn’t get that. he won’t pass energy to just anyone. but i am a nurse and between sick patients and family members in grief or fear………..why not? right? often we can take care of the physical need but their is so much more to it than just the physical. people touch me alot. ALOT! and duh…..i didn’t understand. D said they perceive free energy and are taking it. so ok. i let people touch me at work ALOT now lol. even the ones not my patients. staff, doctors, random patients wheeling down the hall reach up and touch me as they are going along. now that i know why, it’s not as uncomfortable.
D is teaching me to recognize psychic vampires so if i encounter one i need to close off to it.
well i’ve taken up the board long enough. i’m feeling very grounded today and that is a good thing. i feel love and my heart chakra is open.
to namida,
3) My friends have all expressed interest in proverbially kicking his ass if they ever see him again for hurting me. =/
i’d be careful to not have him walk into an environment with a potentially “hostile vibe” directed at him. he may pick up on it really! if the collective is projecting hostility mentally he’s going to get it on some level and may further solidify distance. on the other hand. if you can give him an aura of protection (mentally place a shield of loving protection around him at the event) you can control that.
@edensfolly – your man is right. It is unhealthy to be an open portal at all times. Even despite energy vampires, you can also leave yourself open to physical ailments, especially if you’re in the health care industry. And, you can also inadvertently pass along that energy onto the next person you come in contact with. When i was an esthetician and massage therapist, i used to do a quick 30 second grounding ritual before each client so i was giving them “stable energy” while also keeping my own energy grounded into the earth. The earth is a natural filter and can absorb, use and diffuse just about anything. As opposed to air (like us aquas) that will take that energy nd circulate it in and around us. I would plant my feet shoulder length apart and momentarily visualize them as going into the ground, almost like tree trunks. I also then would visualize a white light (for purity) around me. White protects while also not blocking so the good stuff can flow thru you without taking too much of the icky stuff in. But even more importantly, after every client, i would wash my hands, take a deep breath in, and then with my hands facing downward i would exhale out a powerful breath while mentally visualizing all the energy i had just come in to contact with flowing out of my hands into the ground. I would dump it out so to say. And i found when i forgot to do this, after about my third client, i would get vertigo or my walking balance would be off, almost like being drunk. Especially if you’re a nurse, all sickness, is an unbalance somewhere. You have to so careful to get rid of that energy or it will accumulate and create serious ailments both mentally and physically.
Monthly reiki sessions are a good maintenance for healers too. But you prolly already knew that.
@ Tina – Nice to meet you. So, another Aqua involved with an Aqua… interesting.
@ scorps – Well, let me know if and when you do come over for a visit! I’ve been to Calabria some 5-6 years ago on holiday: lovely seaside indeed, very wild and unspoilt (at least where we were). We stayed in a lovely, tiny, tiny village in among the prickly pears, where the only “bar” was a bunch of old people who’d gathered their chairs together in a small square and offered one another coffee in the open – very sweet! And so very different from the corner of Italy I’m from.
@ eden’s folly – It makes perfect sense, what you do for a living, my dear. I just hope all those people reaching out to touch you, even literally, doesn’t end up draining you out. Let me just say that I can feel your healing force from a distance. I feel better even just thinking about you and reading your posts, even without the meditation, so D is right to say that you walk around wide open. Yes, my husband would most definitely let me lean on him, though I’ve been reticent to tell him the extent of my emotional involvement with A., more than anything as I fear it might hurt his feelings. But yes, no one is quite as devoted as a Cancer who loves you.
I spent the day with H on Saturday, and it was interesting; there’s quite a bond between that woman and I, quite aside from the fact we have both been lovers of A.’s of some importance. At the moment I’m the most drained of vital force, though she was A.’s official girlfriend and I was an ex turned “just” friend. H has taken A LOT of strength from me in the past, which is also why I feel so “starved” now. I brought her awareness, too – she can now see so many things more clearly, even stuff from the past. And I think each of us knows stuff that the other doesn’t. I think she’s destined to be a special friend, but I feel that I need to keep her at arm’s length for a while. She’s a very benevolent, sweet person, but she’s harming me in ways that she isn’t even aware of. Like all Sags, she’s both gullible and world-wise, too.
As for A., he’s no longer in Europe. He went back to the corner of the world that made him write his book, in the so-called developing world. H. and I can clearly see that he simply goes out of his mind when he comes back to the industrialised world. I know it sounds mad, like some sort of over-romanticised Rousseau thing, but he really needs to be where life is simple and straight-forward, where needs are basic, and people are more genuine and “primitive” (and I mean this in the nicest way possible). A. needs all that simplicity because he is the most complicated man in the world and goes into mind-f*** mode at the drop of a hat in the context of a more subtle, complicated, materialistic society. This, ladies and gents, is a walking caricature of an Aquarian man (he says so himself, too!). He needs to live as a “noble savage”, only worrying about where tomorrow’s meal will come from and little more.
H. says he will probably come back to me and apologise in a matter of months, but quite frankly I’m dreading that day. My trust in him, I fear, has been irreparably damaged, and it’s not even a matter of bearing grudges or being unforgiving. I’m simply SCARED. I’m in self-defense mode as far as A. is concerned…
Regarding D. and vampires, aren’t they people who’ve been vampired in the past themselves, sort of the way that many bullies have been bullied themselves, and so on? What does D. think? By the way, I had no idea you were a mother yourself. So, most of us are on this forum! And you have an Aries daughter, no less! I’m actually told that Aries children are fairly easy to deal with, as we are confident and brave, though sensible. And is your son an Aqua or a Capricorn?
@ TheCountess – My mother does what you used to do, and also found that massaging drained her through and through as people inadvertedly and inevitably robbed her of her vital force.
TheCountess
TheCountess
I can use some Aqua advice I had fallen in the past for an Aqua woman who is now married yet she is a liar and cheater. She puts on a face and front to make her marriage out to being “soulmate “perfect yet she hates when her man may possible leave her for cheating.. She is a feb15th and talks about how she would never.. yet she loves to conv with a gf about crossing the line and has an emotionally attached “guyfriend” who she talks and spends alot of time with.. having him jumps hoops on helping her try to become “youtube”famous.
I so want to say something to her if and when she calls to stick it to her.
She drained my emotions and heart because of all her secrets.
@scorps – welllll, speak whats on your mind but also be cognizant of what the outcome may be. Is there anything to gain from “sticking it to her”? Is there some result your hoping to achieve and if so, will that route of communication provide it? I know from first hand experience aquas can drain a scorpio quite easily (and vice versa but us aquas recover much quicker) from both good experiences and bad ones. Me and my scorpio drain each other just from being around each other because its always so intense. If you’re hoping for a change of action on her part with your confrontation, be careful of that scorpio sting. If she’s like me (i’m a feb. 16 aqua with a lot of mars in my chart) she may come out swinging wildly and create a scene. Or she will completely shut you out. But nothing in the middle.
to the countess, i had no idea! i am going to listen to you and D. i will start accepting what he tells me about it and stop being stubborn. i meditate often and flush energy so maybe i have been lucky. i visulize sometimes gold light and other times a blueish silvery white light. i feel like someone who has been driving about in a vheicle without ever having had driving lessons lol. DUH ………it’s kind of scary to think about what can happen by passing negative energy off to another patient, or even infecting myself/family members etc….
i do not really understand how to close it off. i’m sure D can tell me too, but what do you say? how do i close it off? ( i swear i am going to listen to him now)will people notice then? they mostly make contact with my arms, shoulders, and back. my aura stays the color of turquoise right next to my skin and esp. at my arms and hands, then the majority of my body has a huge yellowinsh color projecting out for about a foot.it has swirls of green, but the green is not an icky or murky color. if i come home and the aura has gone to an icky color i cleanse it with the silvery/blue energy. if my chakra hurts i use the gold. D has told me to meet my guides but i won’t do that because i have no idea who or what guides are. he has 3 from what he tells me.
maybe i need classes on this stuff! most of it is just what i have figured out so far. sometimes my third eye opens and i do not know how to control that either? that has proven problematic for me at times as maybe you could imagine. i’m really rushed with this post. gotta run.
i’m enjoying all the esoteric conversations here, sorry i haven’t had much chance to respond properly to people.
hope you are all well and happy.
eden’s folly, what do you mean by ‘flush energy’?
xx
@edens folly – i’ve read envisioning yourself in a bubble or circle of white light or if you need stronger, purple light (or ring) blocks out harmful energy. You can also do this when someones in a bad mood and you’re around them. I use the purple for the latter and it helps. But no i dont think anyone notices when you do it. I think just your thought rearranges the molecular energy around you to create your own force field, of which we all have on a quantum level; you know our own gravity and all. But since we are all made of molecular energy we inadvertently pass it on to other people places and things so to be mindful of it is a good start. Your meditations have prolly greatly reduced the impact so definitely keep up with that. it’s like bringing you back to 0 or a stasis. as for your third eye, i hear that comes with practice to control it. i have not reached that level of awareness yet so i couldnt say from experience, but only from what ive read.
thecountess
She is Feb 15 with mars.. I love and care about her sooooooo deep.. Yet she is married now ..i would do anything for her yet she lies to me.
Your right about everything it sucks.. my temper..yet i would be scared of you..meaning i am crazy about u also.. so if i were to get you that angry i would listen and keeping quite like a man and better person..
I love you gals..Hippie chic gorgeous are great woman i ask so little..
Would you cross the line and cheat..secrets.. affairs???
Scorps – stop trying to use this board to cop off with the countess!
leonine, when i say flush energy i am talking about getting rid of the negative energy in a conscious way.
i am finding out thu the observations of my aqua guy that it would appear, i seem to do alot of things without even realizing or being consciously aware of what i am doing when i do it. it’s like………ok you don’t have to think to breathe. you just breathe. and this is how it is for me at times. i am not aware on a conscious level sometimes when i am being invasive. sometimes tho i choose to be invasive and that is when i am aware, because i am making a conscious decision. D only is giving me bits and pieces of his knowledge at a time. that drives me nuts!
xanthe,
i don’t know how or why psychic vampires became what they are. they take and do not ever give, because they have no ability to give what they do not possess. so i am kind of just learning about them. D. seems to have alot of knowledge but doesn’t just give it up that easily. why i’m not sure. he sais something like “when you are ready” i will show you, or teach you blah blah blah lol.
sometimes he will just tell me “you shouldn’t do this or that” but not say why. of course i need to know why so i’m alittle stubborn til i understand fully.
maybe it’s his way of keeping me enthralled. i don’t know. i find it curious.
countess,
thankyou very much for that information. i can do visualization pretty well. i was wondering if people notice because i will need them to stop touching me. i think too i will posture also to make that subside. now why couldn’t D just have told me this? oh hey BTW you have an arthropod dry humping your leg LMAO ……….ok just cracking myself up.